“Why do we have to go back there? You know that place bores me.” Asked the right head
“Because it’s my turn to choose and I pick Natty’s to eat.” Smirked the middle head
“Let it go, Righty. You know the rules.” Sighed the left head

This was a hydra…of a sort. Like most depictions, this hydra was a large reptilian monster with multiple heads (three in this case), but had a much more humanoid, clothed body beneath those serpent heads. Each head only controlled her side of the massive, obese body with the middle only controlling their tail, so the three took turns deciding where to eat and the middle head always picked Natty’s.

They arrived at the restaurant, a slightly sailor-themes restaurant with a lot of junk on the white wooden walls. Natalie, or “Natty” as she preferred, greeted her favorite usual customer and got to work preparing their many meals as the reptile sat her Volkswagen-sized rear down on the sofa Natty pushed in front of their usual table.

The primary reason the middle head liked this place so much wasn’t necessarily the food (although it was decent), it was the owner. Natty was a middle aged woman with spiky silver hair. She loved to feed the middle head, who didn’t often get to eat since all heads shared a stomach, and didn’t let the other two heads eat. It was a nice role reversal as Natty shoveled massive quantities of food into the middle mouth while the other heads glared in envy.

The food itself was greasy but tasty. Natty always prided herself in that it was “America in every bite” so she served everything from New England clam chowder to gather nuggets to buffalo meat. All this and more the hydra ate, the massive, growing body requiring a lot of food.

While the hydra ate, Natty, not really having other customers, told the massive monster stories about her restaurant, all the strange customers she had that week, and other weirdness besides…this was Florida after all. She also rubbed the hydra’s belly between bites and rubbed under her chin. It was a strange sight to behold, this monster being babied by a human.

After too short a time (by the middle head’s standards, for the other two, two hours was plenty long) the long series of meals was over. The hydra paid the massive bill and got up to waddle out of the restaurant. However, when they tried to exit, their newly bloated body got stuck in the door.

“Oh, nice one!” Right said, “You and your stupid fatty meals”
“I only eat here once a week! And it’s good, classic American cooking!” middle said
“Girls, let’s just focus on pushing our way out of here.” Left huffed, “It’s the only exercise we’re ever going to get.”

That started a whole new series of squabbles as Natty stared in shock and disbelief. Eventually, they did get out of that door, but that’s a story for another day.

TheLovelyVocal