“Hello once again, friends! I am TF Central, whom you might recognize from previous products like the Mommy Mumu or whatever transformation potion I slipped into your food. Well, I’ve done it again, and this time, I think the product I present may be my most practical yet: The Torso Tron 2000!
The Torso Tron 2000 is the latest in nonlethal law enforcement equipment, designed to subdue a suspect or fleeing criminal while causing as little damage to them as possible. Like a regular rifle, one need simply point the weapon at the criminal and fire to cause their limbs to vanish instantly, leaving only their head and torso. There is no pain and no wounds as the limbs disappear, only a limbless criminal you can scoop up at your leisure, no handcuffs required! And restoring the person is as simple as blasting them a second time.
Observe the design of the rifle, how it resembles a naked female torso? That’s so you can easily identify the Torso Tron 2000 and not mistake it for a regular rifle or the other way around. The gun comes in male and female varieties, and the neck is the barrel in both versions, with the handle coming out the tail bone. The Torso Tron 2000 also comes in a variety of customizable colors and patterns.
Have a biter or someone with foul language? Simply flip this switch on the hip to make their mouth vanish too. Need to clear a room full of bad guys? On the other side of the hips is another switch that alters the beam to, when it hits something, burst in a 15 foot radius, ensuring no one in the gang has a hand to hold their own guns. The Torso Tron 2000 requires no ammunition, only a quick charge at any basic wall outlet.
No bullet holes like a rifle causes, no burning like pepper spray, no puncture wounds like a taser, what military or police force would be complete without their very own Torso Tron 2000? Order yours today for the low, low price of free! And, to cement the deal, I will now demonstrate the weapon on myself, so confident I am in the safety of this weapon.
Zap
As you can see, I am now just a head and torso lying on the floor, unable to use a weapon or run away. I also now realize that means I can no longer operate my own Torso Tron 2000 to change myself back. Uh…restore me in the next five minutes and get a second Torso Tron 2000 also free!