“Ready?”

I looked at her one last time. “Ready.”

She nodded. “I’m initiating the transfer protocol riiiiight… now. It takes a few minutes to wind up as it collects data but you might start feeling disoriented quickly enough. Just tell me if it becomes too unbearable.”

“Okay, thanks.”

I rolled my shoulders in anticipation. The stretcher was so narrow that my hands were touching both side rails, and I’m pretty sure that my feet were inches short of falling off the mattress. I closed my eyes and looked up again, as if I could see the electrodes from inside my skull, and the first wave of nausea hit me. It felt like ten minutes following a shooter of vodka. I thought of bringing my hand to my face but the technician spoke before I could even move.

“I know, I know, I saw your brain react. I’m injecting a mild sedative to keep you comfortable, it might sting at the injection site. You should slip into medical sleep pretty soon. See you on the other si…”

…

…

…

The first thing I remembered when I woke up was feeling absolutely hammered. Like a semi truck had run me over. Gosh, every single muscle in my body screamed at the same time. And when I tried to raise my head, the sticky paste that slathered my scalp and kept the electrodes in place tugged on my hair in a way I’ve never felt before.

Then I remembered. 

I opened my eyes and the technician was still with me, although we weren’t in the same room as last night. She had explained it all to me a few times already, but I was rerunning it all in my head. Both procedures started in different rooms, with different techs, and they’d switch halfway through the night to keep monitoring their initial patient. Their initial patient's mind, that is.

“How are you feeling?” She spoke in a whisper, aware of the effect the procedure had had on my senses.

“Like the ceiling crashed onto my head…” My movement was interrupted yet again as I tried to feel my forehead, this time by restraint. Had I been tied to the bed? “You didn’t tell me I was going to be tied down.”

“That’s because we don’t usually need to.” She winked at me. “You kept reaching for the electrodes while you slept.”

“Right, that makes sense then…”

As I looked towards my hands, I noticed unusual bumps in the sheet covering me that I had not seen earlier. The 24 EEG electrodes stuck to my head were hard to ignore, but I didn’t know she had put equipment on my chest, too. She must've put some more there to monitor my heart rate as well. They rose in rhythm with my breathing and I wondered how they could be so symmetrical.

“Hey what are those on my…” I stopped short, finally noticing my voice. “Oh shit it worked!”

“Of course it worked, what did you think?”

“It really worked!” I suddenly became aware of a lot more things happening in my new body, mainly how my hair was a tangled mess, but also that the bumps on my chest were my breasts. “Can you untie me please?” My voice was also different. Not particularly high pitched, but feminine for sure. 

“Of course, but don't stand up and don't freak out. There are a few sensory and motor tests we need to run before you're ready to do so.”

My left arm unshackled, I dug my elbow in the mattress to sit up, but something felt out of place. I looked down and noticed my hand was gone. 

“What the hell?”

I pushed myself up using my other arm and the sheet slid off my body, revealing my new breasts. After a brief moment of contemplation, I reached out for the sheets with my stump as if I still had my hand and… well, nothing happened. I then tried to hide my boobs, again thinking with two hands, and simply parked my stump in an angle next to my waist, pointed towards my chest. With a complete arm, it would've covered my breasts but not this time. In the end, I rolled back and tugged on the covers with my right hand.

The tech walked around her booth to meet me. “As you can see, your transfer partner was born missing part of her left arm.” She tugged me in a sitting position and adjusted the stretcher.

“This is freaky..” A few inches below my elbow, my arm just… ended. Like a balloon that had been twisted and tied shut. I felt the smooth skin of my stump with my hand. My remaining hand I thought. “I know this sounds weird but it feels familiar somehow.”

“Some physical memories can linger in the host's body even after a transfer. You wouldn't be able to play the piano if she did, but déjà vus like this aren't unheard of. Your head thinks it's weird but your arm doesn’t feel out of place?” 

“Yes, exactly!”

She nodded again. “Give it a few days and body and mind will have fused together properly.” She handed me my phone back. “Wanna take a look?”

I extended my arm towards her and nothing happened. The left arm, of course. She laughed so hard it was almost unprofessional. I frowned and used my hand instead, slightly annoyed. As she removed the electrodes glued to my scalp, I tried to press my left index on the fingerprint reader. The stump, Max, the stump! I sighed, bending my elbow as if to switch hands to use it with my left, again flailing the empty air with my shortened limb. I inspected my infirmity trying to print the concept into my brain, staring at the pink-ish skin.

Phone on my thighs, I swiped up, flicked my security pattern, and turned on selfie mode with my right hand. My only hand God damnit.

The girl in the camera looked pretty. I looked pretty. Dark brown hair, hazelnut eyes, a tiny bit of freckles, a straight but strong nose. My stump blared on the screen as I reached for the cleft in my chin.

“As you can guess, her disability didn't exclude her from taking part in the program and we were forbidden from telling you about it to ensure she had equality of opportunity.  Since your job does not require any manual labor or fine motor skills, you were randomly selected to be her partner.”

“Do people with…” I trailed off, looking back at my stump, again trying to understand this new part of my body. “I'm not mad at you if that's what you're afraid of.”

She nodded, turning around to flip a few switches on her control panel. “Now lift your arms, clench your fists, touch each pointer finger to your thumb, perfect.”

She supported me as I stood up, my stump in her open hand. I noticed that my arm narrowed quite a bit right after my elbow. A few inches later, flesh and skin curved inward like a cul-de-sac. I tried to hold her hand but couldn't, obviously. I knew I was supposed to know how to do this, but at that moment, it felt like I had forgotten. The sensations in my arm ended then and there. Radio silence after that.

The tech rolled in a small luggage full of clothes, about the same size as the one I provided for my partner, and finished her explanations.

“Do you have any questions?”

“Can you help me get dressed?” I chuckled. “I don't think I've ever put on a bra by myself, let alone on myself, let alone with one hand.”

And she graciously did. I adjusted the twisted straps on my shoulders, crossing over awkwardly to my left backside, and grabbed a long summer dress from the luggage. I fumbled at the fabric with my left arm, flicking it back without much results. Just as I couldn't hold her hand, the fabric kept slipping away from my stump. I finally managed to throw it over my head and flattened it around my hips. Then, I danced my ass off putting on a pair of shorts, alternating the left and right side with my hand. I grabbed the luggage using the correct side on the first try.

“And with that you're all set! Have a great one!”

Since my hand was busy, I reached over to shake hers with my stump without thinking. I laughed, embarrassed, and corrected myself. The banging of the luggage on the floor startled me as I had once again tried to catch it with an inexistent limb. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Luckily for me, I knew my way back home from the clinic because I had no idea how I was supposed to check my phone like this. Since my subway pass was in the exterior pocket of my coat, as it always is, I simply pressed it on the terminal without the need to use my stump. The tunnel's cold air gripped at my legs and made me shiver.

The train's gentle hum allowed me a moment of respite. With nowhere to sit, I leaned against the backdoors and wedged my luggage behind my thigh. Through the whirlwind of people, I saw some of them staring at me. Was it only because I was a girl in a summer dress? Or were they intrigued by my missing arm? I ran my thumb against the nub, finding no imperfections. No scar, no bumps, it was round like the tip of a finger but without the nail. I tried to move my hand or any fingers on this side, but it was like asking me to flex my wings. It made no sense in my mind. Lifting my head again, I caught two girls sitting in front of me staring right ahead and decided to hide it behind my back. Out of shame?

–

“Okay, ready?”

“My god I still can't believe that's your voice. Can I please open my eyes now?” Sam pleaded.

I crossed my arms behind my back. “Go ahead!”

Her green eyes fluttered and opened wide, followed by her mouth. “Maaax!!! You're adorable! Wow, look at you!!” 

She threw herself at me and we hugged as she picked out each element of my face individually. “Look at those eyes, Max. They're like pools of honey.. Do you like it?”

“It's hard to say, it's only been a few hours. There are pros and cons to everything you know…”

“I know, I know, I know, but you've wanted this for so long!” She grabbed my shoulders and let her hands slide down my arms to grab my hands. “OH my God!” 

She had just found my stump. We looked at each other for a full minute, neither of us daring to break the silence. I folded my abbreviated arm against my chest and covered it with my hand, pressing it against my new breasts. She offered a hand and slowly, reluctantly, I put the stump between her fingers. She turned it over like an watchmaker inspecting a broken piece, tracing lines, squishing its flesh.

“Do you regret it?” Sam asked bluntly. As always, she wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

“I wanted something new, didn't I?” I ran my hand through my hair, securing locks behind my ears. 

“Did you know about it?” I explained to her exactly what the technician had told me. “Of course, that makes sense. So, what're you gonna do about it?”

“What do you mean what are you going to do about it? I can't exactly return it to the store can I. It’s mine now.” I took back my new arm, letting it hang at my side. “Does it look weird?” My voice surprised me again, higher than before as I spoke in a squeaky voice. 

“Weird how?” She took a step back.

“I don't know, I felt like people were staring.” I bent my arm to point my stump upwards, like standing at attention, and lowered it again. I had a hard time finding a comfortable resting position. “A lot. In the subway I mean.”

“It stands out, obviously. But more like ‘Huh’ than ‘Holy shit!!!’, you know?” She did air quotes to emphasize the difference. “I'd probably do a double take if I crossed you on the street, that's all.”

“Okay..”

“But as a girl you'll see people look at you a lot, just in general. More so since you're really cute now, so you better get used to it.”

“Okay.. yeah okay.” My fingers found my stump again, fidgeting with it, then grasping it in my palm and clenching it hard. Its fleshy end squished between my fingers. I sighed. “I need to sit down.”

-

“Good night, Sam.” I said, reaching for her shoulder with my short arm, my erased hand phasing through her shoulder.

“See you tomorrow!” Sam shoved me in the chest and ran to her room, leaving me breathless on the doorstep.

“Ow, these are sensitive!” 

I raised my right hand to my breasts. Good job, Max. You used your hand first, this time.

And a moment later I was reaching for the door knob with my stump. I facepalmed, entered my room and collapsed against the closed door, exhausted. What a fucking day.

///

Due to the stars being aligned, or simply dumb luck, I got to keep my good hand. One handed tasks should at least stay as easy as they were before. ///////// But when I picked up the mayonnaise jar, I absentmindedly angled it towards my left hand and twisted it against empty air, my stump lifted but not quite being useful. I first tried to press my forearm against the lid to unscrew it, but my skin was too loose, and a little too humid.

“Oh, hurdle number one has entered the chat!”

“Hey! I'm trying really hard okay…”

“Here, give me…”

I stepped back. “I need to get used to it, that body is mine now!”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself. But how about you switch it around?” She twirled her finger. “Hold the jar with your left arm and unscrew the lid with your hand.”

I thought about it for a second before doing exactly as she told me. The grip my short arm gave me wasn't actually that bad, but it certainly was awkward. When my two hands were full I'd usually use the part of my forearm that was closer to my wrist to hold whatever. But my new body never had a wrist, and it stopped short much higher, almost up to the elbow. I needed to learn an entirely new way of doing this.

Adjusting my grip, I pressed down using the muscles in my shoulder and jammed the mayonnaise in the nook of my elbow, bending it slightly like trying to grab onto it. My hand easily unscrewed the lid and I set the jar on the countertop again, reaching in with a knife, but the jar slid back. I sighed.

“Of course.” I leaned forward and held it in place with my arm, my fingerless nub a meager paperweight. “I'm about to notice just how much we actually use two hands for everything.”

“In my point of view, you're not doing too bad! You had a problem and found a solution right away!”

“Thank you.” 

I plopped a dollop of mayo on a slice of bread and it skittered on the plate just like the jar had done. My stump came to the rescue again, facing downward to hold the crust as I spread my hard earned harvest. My knife brushed against the skin at the end of my arm and I jumped back.

Sam let out a shriek. “Are you hurt?”

“No it’s…” 

I looked at my stump again. At how it ended prematurely. At the little dimple of skin that budded inwards at the tip. At how light it felt when I bend my arm. At the way the flesh wobbled slightly when it moved. There was a line of mayo streaking across it. I raised my arm and as I did so, my elbow leveled with my eyes to allow my stump to reach my mouth. I licked it off. Licked mayonnaise off the stump of my left arm. The contact of my tongue against this body part I was not supposed to have made me dizzy. I stumbled back, trying to catch myself with a non-existent hand. My arm flew by the edge of the wall and I hit my elbow, then lost my footing. 

“Holy shit Max!!” She caught my hand as I fell, preventing me from hitting the ground like a ragdoll. “Come on over here, poor boy… Sorry. Poor girl.”

She propped me on her shoulder and helped me over to the couch. I took a few deep breaths trying to clear my head, hands on my thighs. No, hand. My arm laid extended to my left, the stump hovering near my hip.

“Sorry, I..”

“Hey, hey, no worries! You've just changed bodies, Max. Give yourself a break.” 

“Thanks…”