Horny Bat
Magic Weapon

You gain a +1 bonus to Attack and Damage made with this magic weapon.  If the target is horny, the wielder can speak the magic phrase "NO HORNY" and this +1 bat will automatically score a critical hit.  Also makes a loud BONK when target is struck.  Also probably sends them to horny jail too I guess!  Bonus points if wielded by doggo ... good boi!