Megahammer: WANTED! Part 3

by SmashandPain, 2025-05-26 13:43:35

(Warning, this is a cartoon physics, and object tf fetish story, if you don't like that, don't read this.)

BOOM!

Our 3 heroes were sent flying like a rocket across the street by an exploding fireball.

WHAM!

All three of them slammed into a wall flattening on impact next to each other.

Megahammer was flattened into a little disk, its hands and feet sticking out in an x shape. The center showing off its plump booty.

RIIIIIIP!

It fell down onto the sidewalk, its hands and feet becoming straight landing on the ground. The top area had spinning eyes and a confused, close smile with its tongue hanging out. It was a very cute table.

Next to it was a simple black and brown poster of a woman's backside. Its arms and legs went straight down, giving the poster a board shape

RIIIIIIP!

It slowly peeled off the wall and rolled into a tube shape. On the tube there were two eyes that looked on in minor annoyance.

Lastly, was a light tan, purple and black poster. The poster was horizontal, its arms were both in an L shape pointing up. Its feet were also in a L but pointed down.

RIIIIIIP!

Peeling off the wall, the third flat object wobbled onto its feet. “God dammit…” The poster bemoaned. “... It's always the seventh fireball that launches you.”

DING!

BING!

POP!

The table popped back to normal. “Ow my head…” Megahammer moaned as she held her head. “... This is going really badl-”

She stopped herself when she saw a tube on the ground. “You okay?”

The tube only grumbled in response.

“Don't worry, I got you.” Megahammer said as she picked up the tube. She unrolled it then began shaking it like a wet towel

POP!

Dropping to her feet was now a 3-dimensional Ms. Alleyway. Despite being flattened just a few minutes ago, she was remarkably calm, if a bit angry. “That was upsetting.” She grumbled

POP!

“Crazy, fireball wielding nutcase…” Deepcut yelled out as she picked up her sword. “... And if you know anything about me, that's saying a lot.”

Megahammer picked up her hammer. “Okay girls, what's the plan?”

Ms. Alleyway piped up. “These three are tunnel visioning Megahammer, so it should be easy to lure them into a tra-”

“One vs ones again!” Deepcut yelled out as she raised her sword. “I call the stretchy one.”

Ran forward into the distance of burning rubble and smoke.

The two other superheroes just turned to each other. “Plan B, let her die to give us time to think of a plan.” Alleyway suggested.

“Better idea…” Megahammer gripped her hammer. “...I got the wrestling loser, you deal with the pyromaniac.” She then ran after Deepcut.

Ms. Alleyway took a deep breath. “Unfortunately, that means I got fire duty.” She grumbled as she followed closely behind them.

—

A rubber bladder arm launched towards the wrestler's head. Said wrestler, barely dodging it.

CRASH!

It crashed into the wall behind her

"Hey, watch it!" The wrestler screamed. "Geez! are you that desperate for money you'd almost kill someone?"

The elastic psycho just licked her lips. “YES!” She said with a smile as she turned her other hand into a mace. “I'm here to kill, and if there are four extra people to do that too, that's fantastic.”

The woman slightly on fire looked on at the two, a look of annoyance. “You two are fucking stupid.” She groaned as she started walking towards the directions she sent the three heroes flying.

CRASH!

The firewoman quickly jumped back, barely dodging the macehand the rubber one threw down.

“You dare call me stupid?!” The psychopathic lady said as she retracted both of her arms.

“Yes…” The fire woman said nonchalantly as she continued on her way like nothing happened.

WHAM!

A mallet came down, with the firewoman barely dodged again.

“You dare treat the Great Rezinka as nothing but a minor annoyance?!” The rubber sociopath screamed, as she lifted up her mallet hand.

“Yes…” the firewoman simply responded. “...In case you don't know, I'm Cinderella. A higher class of villains than your dumb ass.” Her hand lit up. “And if you knew any better, you would get out of my way of my easy paycheck.”

Valerie looked on in surprise. "Wait, so you're both actual supervillains? I thought the only villain around was that bounty, but I can spare some time dealing with you two" She then struck a pose "Get ready! Because you're about to face the best super-powered wrestler on the rise. The Blazing Star, Valerie!"

The two supervillains just looked at her, confused.

“With that outfit, I thought you were a superhero.” Rezinka commented.

“Why is a wrestler going after a bounty?” Cinderella asked. “Is the money just that alluring?”

Valerie laughed "The money would be nice, but it's no biggie if I miss out on it"

“Oh I get it…” Rezinka said with an evil smile. “...You're here because your foolish sense of justice can't allow you to see villains walk free.”

"Well... sure, getting crooks off the street is a good enough reason..." Valerie mumbled awkwardly. "Really though, this just seemed like a good opportunity to get some practice in!"

Both the supervillains just tilted their heads. “Practice?” They said in unison.

"Yeah!” Valerie yelled. “I'm out of town right now, but normally I'm part of this competitive gameshow, and I'm a little low in the ranks because the other contestants are tricky to deal with (especially if you aren't as stretchy as them). When I saw that lady on screen mention a villain that needed stopping, it seemed like a chance to get some new experience in!"

The two villainuses turned towards each other. “We should kill her first.” Cinderella suggested

“Agreed.” Rezinka gleefully added with a smile.

"Oh crud-" Valerie yelled out as she got into a fighting position.

But before the three of them could do anything.

“Haaa…”

SLASH!

A blade came down towards Rezinka, the blade barely missing as the rubber sociopath dodged out of the way.

“Huh…” Rezinka turned her head to see Deepcut standing there with her blade.

“Greetings asshole...” Deepcut yelled as she lifted up her sword. “... There's only room for one sociopath with purple coloring in this story.

At the same time, Cinderella dodged out of the way before a massive block fell down on her. “ The hell?” Cinderella yelled as she looked at the oddly textured block now in front of her. It had a strange smiley face on it.

Looking up she saw Ms. Alleyway standing on top of it, aurora farming. “Let's get you out of the way first.”

SLAM!

Valerie jumped back as a giant hammer slammed down in front of her.

“Nice reflexes.” Megahammer smirked as she lifted up her weapon. “Let's see how many you can Dodge.”

Megahammer vs Valerie

WHAM!

Valerie rolled out of the way from another hammer swing. “C'mon! Is that all you can do?” The wrestler taunted.

Megahammer lifted her weapon up and smirked, showing that she was just as cocky as her opponent. “Pretty arrogant considering all you've done is jump around like a cowardly jack rabbit.”

“Hmph! I'm just saying, I'd expect an evil super-chick to do more than just swing around a big toy hammer!” Valerie yelled out.

“I'm not evil…” Megahammer interjected. “...I'm a superhero.”

Valerie looked confused for a moment, before quickly retorting “You expect me to believe that? I saw the footage from your attack on the convention. What kind of superhero does that?”

“That wasn't me.” Megahammer yelled in frustration. “It was Milly Rose. She's evil I tell you, EVIL! She's framing me for everything.”

Valerie hesitated for a moment, detecting the genuineness in her voice, but refusing to be fully convinced. “Really, you expect me to believe someone would go through all that trouble just for one person? Do I look that stupid to you?”

Megahammer just stared at the out-of-place wrestler. “Do you really want an honest answer?”

Valerie's brow twitched, clearly having a nerve struck. “Alright, you said all I've done was jump around? Well watch this!” Valerie screamed, as she tucked her head between her knees and wrapped her arms over her legs, becoming as round as possible. She then started revving in place like a tire, smoke trailing behind her.

Megahammer immediately ready her hammer. “Just gotta hit her like a baseball and it's over.” She then smirked. “Should be easy enou-”

VRRRRR!

The ball up wrestler speeded off like sonic the hedgehog.

WHAM!

Her body's slamming into the superhero's face before bouncing off.

Megahammer just stood there completely stunned. Her eyes were spinning as she tried to focus herself. “Is that the best you go-”

WHAM!

The ball slammed into her body again; this time hitting her on the back.

SQUISH!

The balled up powerhouse rolled over the poor hero, flattening her. The former superhero's body became a strip, bent in a

U shape swinging back-and-forth on the pavement, the hammer by its side. The face on the strip looked on in confusion.

The ball bounced into the air.

POP!

Valerie uncurled back into her normal shape. “Heck yeah!” She shouted out as she fist bumped the air.

DING!

“How's that for a 'cowardly jackrabbit', huh?" She said triumphantly, looking down at her opponent.

DING!

“Hm, that was easier than I thought though...” she turned her attention away from the wobbling U-shape.

BING!

"Was she being serious about being framed? It's hard to tell with how quick she was to swinging that thing around like a lunatic, but she seemed pretty convinced by her own statement..."

POP!

“Maybe I jumped the gun abit in trusting some random advertisement. I could try to make better sense of this, but it isn't really any of my business, is i-?”

WHAM!

Out of nowhere, the now three dimensional superhero slammed her hammer upon the wrestler's back.

For a brief millisecond, Valerie realized what was happening. “ah-”

VROOM!

The ill fated wrestler was sent flying team rocket style into the sky like a missile. The only thing the poor wrestler could get out before disappearing from site was… “CHEATER!”

DING!

Standing there now was a three dimensional Megahammer. Despite the victory, she didn't look happy. “I let my guard down there.” She looked at her suit. “I'm out of charges on this thing. I have to be more careful now.” She then turned her head towards the chaos happening behind her. “and I got two more freaks to deal with.”

(Somewhere else)

Shi groned as she looked up at the hole in her bar's roof, her face showing off some annoyance. “It's nice I got the decoration, but fixing the hole it made is gonna cost me a bit.” She shook her head.

Shi turned her head towards the deer girl trophy on the wall “I'm getting more customers today because of the trophy so I should be able to pay for it easi-”

CRASH!

Suddenly, something crashed into her bar, creating another hole in the roof.

BOOM!

They then crashed into the floor itself, creating yet another unfortunate hole, though shallow enough to reveal the rear-end of a leotard-clad woman, flailing her legs in an attempt to re-orientate herself.

Shi took a deep breath before turning to the new hole(s). “God dammit.” She mumbled under her breath.

Deepcut vs Rezinka

Deepcut’s blade and Rezinka's blade hand hit each other, blocking both of their swings.

Rezinka smiled at her prey. “It's strange that you seem really excited to die?”

“What can I say?” Deepcut responded. with a smile. “I always enjoy a little risk.” Her smile then became bigger. “I have to ask you, why are you so eager to be a chair?

Rezinka just kept her psychotic smile. “A pretty big ego for a C list lose-”

SLASH!

Deepcut's blade went right through the blade arm and slashed Rezinka.

Oddly, right before the transformation, instead of having a fearful or shocked expression, Rezinka kept her gleeful, sadistic face.

POP!

Landing on the ground was a cute, little inflatable chair of the former villain. The backrest had an evil grinning face on it and the seat area had a pattering of massive breasts on it, perfect for Deepcut’s booty.

The psychotic superhero smiled at her easy victory. “Alright, flying right through these ones.” She said as she pumped her fist into the air. She then turned away from the seat. “One more glory hound to go before I can finally have my fight again against the hammer gir-”

SLASH!

The joy of the heroine was cut horrifically short as a blade hand cut through her shoulder.

For the first time ever, a sense of dread overtook the hero as she slowly turned towards her shoulder. There she saw something, blood. Her eyes widened with shock as the blade hand retracted.

“HOLY FUCK!” Deepcut screamed before falling to the ground, she turned around and saw a very human Rezinka standing over her.

“Did you think a cheap parlor trick like that would work on an elastic master like me?” Rezinka asked as her evil grin got bigger. “And did you honestly think I couldn't make you bleed either?”

Deepcut was in complete shock. Too terrified to run away or fight the monster in front of her.

The psychotic villain raised her blade and aimed it for Deepcut's head. “You will pay for your arrogance WITH YOUR—”

WHAM!

Megahammer's weapons slammed directly into the villain. The force of the assault sent her flying across the street.

SLAM!

Rezinka's body slammed into the wall. The force of the hit compacted her into a disk.

POP!

The disc popped off the wall and turned into a cute little purple, blue and white flesh tone beach ball with a psychotic grin on it.

Megahammer quickly turned towards Deepcut. “Can you get up?” She asked as she lowered her hand towards her

Deepcut just stared at her in silence for a second before replying. “I think so…” She responded as she grabbed Megahammer's hand and was pulled up. “Thank you.”

Megahammer smiled. “I still owed you for saving me on the roof back there.”.

Deepcut grabbed her bloody shoulder. “That really goddamn hurt.” Deepcut whined before turning her head towards where the ball was. “Oh fuck…” Deepcut mumbled as she saw the villain was back on her feet.

“It's rude to interrupt the 1v1.” Rezinka said with agitation.

Megahammer and Deepcut ready their weapons.

Rezinka regained her slasher grin. “I have to teach you two a lesson.”

Ms. Alleyway vs Cinderella

FWOOM!

Flame shot out of Cinderella's hands barely missing Ms. Alleyway. The Noir hero jumped behind the weird cat bounce castle for cover

“This ain't going good.” Ms. Alleyway thought to herself as she reached for her utility belt. “ Gotta make something fas-” She then noticed something. Her ‘equipment’ was no longer solid, instead it was all gooey and melted into paste. “Shit…”

FWOOM!

Cinderella fired her flames directly at the bounce castle, causing it to melt slowly. “Come on out…” She yelled out as she briefly stopped her flames. “... It would be easier for both of us if you just accepted your gooey fate.” She then fired her flames again, melting the rubbery mass even more.

Ms. Alleyway touched her face, she felt it was gooey and sticky. “Shit…” She then poked her head out from behind the inflatable. “... I have to end this fast.” The hero took a deep breath. She grabbed on to her right hand and bolted away from the inflatable and towards Cinderella. “I have to get close.”

Cinderella smiled. “How pathetically desperate.” She then casually fired her flames towards the avenger of the night.

FWOOM!

GOOP!

The flames hit Ms. Alleyway's leg, causing them to instantly melt into goo and causing the rest of her body to fall onto the pavement. The force of the fall and her body partially being melted caused her body to slightly splatter on impact. Luckily, she had enough concentration to still keep most of her body intact, unfortunately she had no way to run now.

“Pathetic…” Cinderella stated as she slowly walked towards her prey. “... To think I'm wasting time on a loser like you when my payday is just a few yards away.”

Ms. Alleyway squeezed her right arm tightly. “Only one shot.”

Cinderella raised her flaming right hand up. “At least I'll get some satisfaction turning you into pas-”

Like the most bizarre quick draw imaginable, Ms. Alleyway ripped off her own gooey hand and threw it straight at Cinderella's belly and… It just bounced off, then fell to the ground, melting into a gooey mess.

There was a moment of silence between the two, with Ms. Alleyway keeping her stoic face and Cinderella looking on confused.

“Is that the best you go-” Was all Cinderella could get out before she felt something. “-what the-”

SHRINK!

Suddenly her right arm shrunk into her body. “The hell?” Then her left arm shrunken in as well. “What's going on?” Then both of her legs shrunken, as well. as she fell onto the pavement. She briefly looked at her victorious opponent. “ What did you-” Before she could finish, her head shrunk into her chest with her eyes, cartoonishly popping out. And then finally

SHRINK!

The rest of her body collapsed in on itself, causing her to become the size and shape of a little red, light tan and red marble.

Ms. Alleyway laid there half melted but satisfied. “Thank god that you're an overconfident idiot.” She then looked down at the puddle that was once her right hand. “Gonna take me a little bit to get back up.” She tried focusing herself as she reached for her melted hand. “The fight isn't over yet. I gotta get back up.”

—

Deepcut and Megahammer vs Rezinka

WHAM!

Megahammer's hammer slammed down upon Rezinka. “Stay down!” She yelled as she lifted up her hammer.

BOING!

Rezinka instantly popped into the third dimension like nothing happened. “It's cute how much you don't understand you're doom-”

SLASH!

The blue haired villain was sliced in half vertically. The two half of her body fell down on the ground. The two pieces instantly morphed into a dryer and washer respectively.

“Just stay down!” Deepcut screamed out. “This isn't funny anymore”

Both of our heroes were just pounding on the psychopath for ten minutes straight to no avail. At this point they were both exhausted.

The two appliances instantly join together and form into the said psychopath. “Personally, I find this hysterical.” Rezinka joked

“What the hell are we gonna do?” Deepcut asked with general fear in her voice.

“Keep laying it on I guess.” Megahammer smirked. “If we're gonna die, it's gonna be on our feet.”

“Defiant prey?” Rezinka giggled as her hands turned into blades. “Usually the heroics posturings end after the fifth slab in the gut. After that they start begging for it to stop.” Unbeknownst to the two heroes, Rezinka's left foot shoved herself into the concrete. “To be perfectly honest, I haven't killed that many superheroes so far…” The foot blade surfaced behind Deepcut. “...and now I'm going to get two for the price of one.”

For a split second Megahammer noticed the blade behind Deepcut. “Look out!” She pushed Deepcut out of the way before.

STAB!

The blade went right through Megahammer's stomach.

“GAH!” Megahammer screamed out as she coughed up blood.

“MALLET LADY!” Deepcut screamed as she fell to the ground.

Rezinka let out a sadistic laugh as she retracted her blade foot. “One goody two shoes down, one more to go.”

Deepcut got up. Her shoulder is still in pain from earlier. “We're not dead yet.”

“ Of course not…” Rezinka sadistically said. “... In fact, your deaths are gonna be super slow, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Let's begin playtime shall w-” Just then, she felt something hit the back of her neck. “OW!” She screamed. “Who has the gall?” She yelled as she turned her head around.

Standing behind her was a partially melted Ms. Alleyway. “The game's over…” She quipped. “... You lost.”

Rezinka tilted her head in confusion. “What delusional world do you live in?” The villain asked in confusion. “Your two friends are bleeding out and you're half melted? What could you possib-” A horrific realization then came to her. She looked down upon her hands and noticed that they looked normal. In fact, she couldn't turn them into anything. “What is going on?”

“Just shut off your power for 24 hours.” Ms. Alleyway responded as her body started melting down, her body no longer able to keep itself together.

Rezinka showed slight fear for the first time. “YOU DARE MESS WITH MY FUN!”

“Well, not just me…” Ms. Alleyway joked. “...She also dares to ruin your fun.” Was the last thing she got out before completely becoming a black, gray and brown puddle on the ground.

A realization hit her. She quickly turned around and only got a brief glimpse of Deepcut's massive blade coming down upon her.

SLASH!

When the fury of slashes finally stopped, Deepcut raised her sword up into the air as Rezinka stood there, completely frozen in place. She slowly then put it on her back.

BOOOOOOOOM!

The cocky supervillain exploded into a bunch of purple, blue, and white flesh toned gum balls. They fell down onto the pavement, like rain. Deepcut was victorious.

“FUCK YEAH!” Deepcut yelled out before she broke out and to dance. “We did it! We did it! We did it!” She then remembered a very minor but very important detail about the situation. “Hammer!” Deepcut screamed as she turned towards her sister in arms for this battle. Megahammer was in rough shape, thanks to a hole in her stomach. “Don't worry, I got you.” She picked up Megahammer as well as her weapon. “This is a lot lighter than it looks.” She then remembered something else. She turned towards the odd puddle on the ground. “Don't worry random lady from the 1930's…” she reached into her cleavage and pulled out a jar. “I got you too.”

—

(Later)

Megahammer slowly opened her eyes. “ Oh my hea-”

She then suddenly felt someone hug her. “THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE!” Deepcut yelled as she squeezed her so tightly, her head started bulging out a bit.

Ms. Alleyway got up from seat, looking as stoic as ever. “I'm glad to see you're not dead.”

“I was so scared you were gonna die!” Deepcut cried out. “I thought you were gonna be my Gwen Stacy or Jason Todd. A death that haunts me for a while before you come back as a violent vigilante!”

“Please… let…go…” Megahammer begged as the pressure started causing her to go cross eyed.

“Sorry…” Deepcut said as she let go of her.

Ms. Alleyway walked towards the two of them. “I'm glad that her stupid healing potion worked.”

Deepcut held up the now empty bottle. “And they said I got scammed by that random fortune teller. They were the same ones that gave me the poison antidote too.”

Megahammer looked down at her stomach. She saw a scar, but it was healed. Megahammer took a deep breath. “Thank god that's over.” A thought then crossed her mind. She turned towards Deepcut. “Weren't you gonna turn me in for the bounty?”

Deepcut shrugged. “I mean, I would kinda feel like a jerk to do that after you saved my life twice.”

“Besides, I did give her somewhat of a new proposition to fill her time.” Ms. Alleyway interrupted. “The same thing I wanted to ask you about. Milly Rose.”

Megahammer locked in the second she heard that name. “You're an enemy of her too?”

“I doubt she knows me, but I certainly know her, the true her.” Ms. Alleyway replied. “ She took something from me and I want to make her pay for it.”

Megahammer smiled. “So I assume you don't believe her made up story about me.”

“I was unsure of the vanity of the story, but anyone who was an enemy of her was a friend of mine.” Ms. Alleyway responded.

Megahammer got up, still holding her head. “I need some time to recuperate before we talk about this more. I've been asleep for hours.”

“It's actually been five days…” Deepcut added. “... That stuff works slow on you.”

Megahammer stood there silently. “Oh shit…”

Deepcut tilted her head. “Did you miss work or something?”

Megahammer felt her chest rumbling a bit, like something was in her cleavage, desperate to get out.

Megahammer instantly ran towards the window of the apartment.

“Wait…” Ms. Alleyway yelled. “... We still need to relay some things.”

“We'll do it later. I need to get somewhere now…” She screamed before jumping out the window and onto the streets below.

The other two superheroes just stood there somewhat confused. “I bet she missed a date.” Deepcut guessed.

Ms. Alleyway just looked on, completely ignoring the maniac next to her. “Lucía…” She thought to herself. “... This was certainly an interesting way to meet you again.”

—

(Deep in Milly Rose's lair)

“Worthless bounty hunters.” Rose grumbled as she threw her orange panties out of her changing room. “All of them were complete failures.”

“At least we got some good footage for your steam.” Mr. Fullthrottlesaid as he bent down and picked up the discarded panties. “You know, you could just reveal her secret identity.”

“She would just run away …” She grumbled as she looked at some clothes behind the curtains. “... crawling into a hole and never coming out after that. I need to make sure I get her in my hands on her to make her my slave that I can endlessly torment.”

“Good idea…” Mr. Fullthrottle said as he looked at his pantied co-worker. “... Doing the complicated route will lead to more humiliation for you.”

“Shut up!” Rose screamed as she slowly got herself dressed. “From what I've learned from this experience is that I can't outsource anything. I have to do it myself.”

Mr. Fullthrottle tilted his head. “It would be pretty hard to keep your powers under wraps if you went onto the streets and used them..”

Rose started giggling. “When I first came up with the name Philanthrofist its only purpose was to be an alias I would occasionally sign onto paper for my underground dealings.” She then pulled away the curtain to reveal her new black outfit and slightly dyed hair. “I guess I gotta play the supervillain game a little bit more straight.”

—

(Shi bar the day after the fight)

Shi was cleaning her bottles as she looked over her two recent customers. One of them was a wrestler and the other was a dear woman. Looking at the wrestler, Valerie, she looked completely wasted.

Shi shook her head. “How did you get drunk on apple juice?” She asked Valerie.

“This doesn't come from the drink but the shame…” Valerie grumbled. “...I won that fight fair and square, but that hammer woman hit me when my back was turned like a coward.”

Shi grabbed her empty drink “Considering you're drinking apple juice, I have no shame in asking if you want another?”

“Yes please…” The tired wrestler responded.

Shi then tilted her head towards the deer woman, Christy, who looked completely devastated. “I was so close to unlimited mcdonald's.” She whined. “But then the hands of fate got in the way, and by that I meet a giant hammer.”

Shi looked at the pathetic thing before noticing her glass was empty. “You want another Pepsi?”

Christy started crying. “Why couldn't this place at least have Coca-Cola!”

“I take that as a yes.” She says she started filling up their drinks. She briefly looked at the two holes in her roof. “Hopefully, these two PG drinking addicts will help me me pay the damages.”

(The end)