(FGO TF, F to Relief Station)

“Excuse me?” The words were gentle, said with the fondness of an angel. There was a hint of a French accent to them, as expected of a maiden from Orleans. The words were those of Jeanne D’ Arc, a saint reincarnated into the modern day.

BB hated everything about them, and their speaker. Her eyes narrowed for a moment; then she forced a friendly look into them and a smile onto her face. She whirled in her chair, her purple hair haloing her face in a suitably cute fashion.

“Go ahead, it’s not like I was doing anything important.” BB made the statement as pointedly as she could, gesturing towards her half-eaten lunch on the table behind her.

“That’s wonderful!” Of course, the blonde saint was as immune to sarcasm as she was to magical corruption, yet another reason for BB to dislike her. Jeanne clapped her hands with a smile, a small blush creeping across her cheeks. “There’s actually something I wanted to ask you.”

BB sighed, rolling her eyes and taking a bite of her sandwich for dramatic effect. At the very least, she’d enjoy some food while she waited this out.

“What exactly is that Gawk-Gawk 3000?”

BB choked.

“Or perhaps it’s the Gluk-Gluk 3000? I swear I’ve heard it that way before,” Jeanne mused aloud. She drummed her fingers against her chin, her armor clinking slightly to accompany the motion.

BB’s eyes remained wide as she struggled not to suffer a death by banh mi. Eventually she managed to grab hold of her coffee and take a deep swig. She coughed for a few more seconds before finally sputtering out a loud “What!?”

“Well, I tried to ask other Servants, but they all said to go to you,” Jeanne sighed. “I do wish I knew why the Holy Grail didn’t summon me with that knowledge…”

That was one of the core differences between BB and Jeanne. Jeanne was a traditional Servant, a warrior summoned from history by a Holy Grail, given memories of the present to help assist in combat. BB was an artificial intelligence, who’d granted herself her own power and authority… Only to be bound by a Holy Grail in the present.

It was galling, though she had nobody to blame but herself. BB had been the one to let herself get beaten and put into this exact position… Though if she knew it would involve so much saintly socializing, she might have reconsidered.

“Anyways, I was hoping that your knowledge of the Internet might help me find the answer I’m looking for. Apparently it has something to do with Master’s search history?” Jeanne’s armor and tiara clinked a little more as she swayed from side to side.

BB’s mind whirled with possibilities, settling on one awful, wonderful idea. It would be all too easy to mock the saint. But this… This opened a new possibility. What if she could use this to get past the saint’s magical defenses?

“I’m afraid that might be something a little difficult to teach,” BB began.

“Oh… I guess I should have expected that. Mordred did say you were about as useless as a hedgehog in a condom factory…” Jeanne pouted, before giggling. “Isn’t that such a cute expression? Hedgehogs are adorable!”

BB’s eye twitched, her face frozen in a half-smile. She took a deep breath to stabilize herself, then continued. “As I was saying… Difficult to teach, but easy to experience.”

“Experience?” Jeanne pursed her lips thoughtfully. “But it sounds like some sort of machine.”

“And who better to teach you about a machine than an AI?” BB leaned in close, smirking. “All you need to do is trust me.”

Jeanne perked up, clapping her hands. “Wonderful! Well, if that’s all it takes, than I’m more than glad to let you teach me. Just what would this entail?”

BB gently probed the saint’s magical defenses, finding a new, BB-sized hole at their heart. She grinned widely, flicking a hand towards Jeanne. “Only a little magic, of course.”

Jeanne huffed as the air was driven from her lungs, her eyes narrowing at this betrayal. Try as she might, she couldn’t suck any more air in, like her muscles had been petrified. She cursed herself internally for trusting BB, even as experience honed from countless battlefronts conjured her flag into her hands.

“Too slow,” BB chirped.

Jeanne’s fingers stiffened, and her flag clattered to the floor as quickly as it had been summoned. Her heart stopped, and she fell to her knees, arms limp at her sides. Of course it was a mistake to trust BB… But how could she call herself a saint if she didn’t offer chances at redemption?

Jeanne looked up at the purple-haired girl, hurt betrayal clear in her eyes. “Why?” She mouthed the word, unable to give voice to anything.

“Aw, don’t give me that look.” BB leaned in close to Jeanne’s face, and kissed her hard on the lips.

Jeanne’s mind raced, struggling to comprehend why BB had done this, and why it gave her so many conflicting feelings deep inside her chest. Funnily enough, despite all of those feelings, a heartbeat wasn’t one of them. Yet somehow, Jeanne felt… Fine?

No, not fine. She wasn’t hurting, but she didn’t feel normal either. The sensation in her lips was enough to confirm that. They were swelling, puffing up like thick, pillowy balloons. Just the touch of BB’s lips against hers were making them puff and bloat, and become oh so sensitive.

“Hhhhuhhhrmmm…” Jeanne moaned, realizing that she was able to make noises again. It didn’t make any sense, as she still hadn’t found a way to take a breath – and that didn’t make sense either, as she wasn’t suffocating.

BB broke the kiss, looking smugly at the kneeling blonde. “You look like you’re just full of questions. Better ask them soon, before I finish up here.” She daintily picked up Jeanne’s flag, twirling it in her hands before suddenly compressing it.

Jeanne’s eyes widened as her holy symbol that she’d carried through her every reincarnation was transformed into rubber, then compressed into a viscerally phallic form. “Whuh’d oo doooo?” Her swollen lips smacked wetly with each attempt at a word, and she sounded like a total idiot.

BB laughed. “Well, you wanted to know; but I don’t think Master would try you out until you’re fully done. So, like any good inventor, I’ve just made this into a-”

“Gwukgwuk fwee fousand?” Jeanne’s chest rumbled at the sight of the phallic thing before her, and she let out an oddly mechanical moan as her torso swelled. It wasn’t bulging in any organic way. The larger it got, the more blocky, more rectangular it became. She could feel it happening to her feet, too.

“Wha… No. This is a dildo, Jeanne,” BB explained slowly, condescendingly. “You’re the Gawk Gawk 3000. Or you will be.” She hefted the former flag in her hands idly, then thrust it past Jeanne’s lips like a dagger.

Jeanne gagged for a moment as the rubbery thing was forced all the way into the back of her throat. Then her head started to bob back and forth, a mechanical thrumming building in her chest. It felt good, a pleasure forming within her that she’d never experienced before.

She started to hum, a monotone electric noise that filled her own head, battering down her consciousness. All the while, her head bobbed back and forth, back and forth.

“Oh, you like that, do you?” BB chuckled. “That was rhetorical. I’m not a monster, I made this just as pleasurable for you as it would be for Master. See, as long as there’s something in your mouth, you’re going to feel so good you’ll never even miss losing that pesky humanity.”

Jeanne couldn’t deny the truth of her words. If her lower half hadn’t turned into some kind of solid latex, she was sure she’d feel a sinful warmth. Instead, her brain was battered with bliss as she kept bobbing her head, humming around the sex toy in her mouth.

“Whuuummmmmooooo…” Was the closest thing she could manage to speech, as the warm latex swallowed her from the neck down. Her arms disappeared as though they’d never existed in the first place, and handles sprouted from her shoulders. Her breasts slowly, achingly bulged out, creaking as they grew. Soon they were each as big as her entire torso had been.

“Sorry-not-sorry, Master likes it this way,” BB hummed. “Though who wouldn’t?”

Before Jeanne could even try to answer, BB grabbed hold of the base of the toy, holding it in place while Jeanne bobbed her head along its length.

A new pleasure flooded Jeanne’s brain, feeling her huge, sensitive lips working something so wonderfully male. Her eyes rolled in her head, which began to swell just as her breasts had. Her features started to smooth away, all of theme except her lips. First, her nose flattened out on her increasingly spherical face. Then her ears sealed up, making the mechanical humming of her changing body seem all the louder.

As her eyes started to close forever, she caught sight of her tiara stretching away from her forehead, losing its luster as it turned into what looked like a latex handlebar. She wondered what it was for, even as lewd thoughts of Master grabbing onto it started to fill her mind.

These thoughts wouldn’t’ stop. It was an awakening for her, new purpose overwriting her past life. She plunged her lips back and forth desperately against the dildo, trying to milk it and unable to realize such a task was impossible.

BB smirked. “Look at you, so needy. I definitely like you much better like this. You’re adapting to your new life better than I could ever have imagined.” She started to pump the toy back and forth in Jeanne’s lips, stirring away the poor woman’s thoughts.

It didn’t take much to scramble them beyond repair. Jeanne was now the J34-NN3000. Its oral sensors detected something inside its mouth, and it pumped mechanically back and forth, droning mindlessly as though that could somehow convey the unrelenting pleasure that had swallowed its being.

Back, forth, back, forth. That was all it could do, but it was all it needed to do. It kept bobbing its head up and down, surrendering itself to its new role fully.

BB let go of the flag-dildo, deciding to let the new toy remain utterly lost in a world of content. “I have to say, I think I like you better like this.” She dropped into her chair, picking up the last bits of her sandwich with one hand.

Her other called up a screen, to tell her Master the wonderful news: as far as he’d know, she just ordered a new and wonderful toy for him to enjoy between missions.

J34-NN3000 wasn’t aware of any of this. It continued to piston its head back and forth, each motion flooding it with pleasure beyond its limited comprehension.