(F to Cow)

Alyssa was proud, and she had every right to be. She’d risen to management early in her career, she’d bought her own car, and she was almost ready to pay off her own house. All of it was thanks to her method of ‘personal accountability.’

She never relied on others for anything financial, especially auto-pay and subscription services. In her eyes, subscription plans were a surefire way to end up in an inescapable debt trap, so she put a full ban on them.

Her parents and friends had warned her about this. They’d said that of all the subscriptions, there was one she should never miss. But Alyssa had insisted that even a single slip could lead her down a slippery slope. And so she’d taken personal accountability of her own humanity subscription.

Her friends still called her weird for it. Why would she ever risk failing to show the government proof that she deserved to be human?

Alyssa had never missed a payment in her life, so she’d never seen that as a concern. But, at the same time, Alyssa had never been quite as excited to see a movie as this one.

xXx

“I still can’t believe you dressed up for this,” Sarah snickered from Alyssa’s right. “Does that make you some kind of furry?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “It’s called a kigurumi, and it’s Japanese. That makes it classy.”

“Cowgurumi, more like,” Carrie retorted from her left.

Alyssa scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Listen, you know I think these theaters are always cold.”

“Mhmm.”

“And you know I like cuddling a pillow when I watch movies,” Alyssa hugged the plush udder of her outfit a little closer.

“Oh, we’re not judging you at all,” Sarah said without a hint of sarcasm. Though she was very good at lying…

Carrie took a long sip of her soda. “I am.”

“Oh, shut up. You know Bessie is the best character in this movie. And hey, the previews are starting!” Alyssa pointed at the screen.

“… No, I think that’s just a preview for the previews. What does this theater call them again? Newviews. That’s it,” Sarah nodded sagely. “Besides, we’re still five minutes early. How come you didn’t know that, Miss-On-Top-Of-It?”

Alyssa blushed. “Well… This outfit doesn’t have pockets, so I couldn’t bring my phone…”

“And that’s why you carried your ticket out of the car like a weirdo, AND had me buy you popcorn. Got it.” Carrie elbowed her friend’s side, then blinked.

Alyssa caught sight of Carrie’s expression. “What’s the face for?”

“Did you gain weight, or is that costume just padded?” Carrie had none of her usual cattiness, there was actually an iota of concern in her features.

Still, Alyssa had committed to her exercise regimen, as she had with all things. Sure, it had been a busy month, and something was tingling at the back of her mind. But whatever it was, it couldn’t have been too important.

So she replied with a huff, crossing her arms and sitting back. Her nose tingled, and she crinkled it to try and ease whatever itch she was feeling. Actually, there were more than a few itches. Was she allergic to her outfit? That couldn’t be right, she’d tried it on last night specifically to check that she wasn’t. Maybe she’d forgotten to take her allergy meds?

“Aw, she didn’t meant it,” Sarah patted Alyssa’s shoulder. But she also made a face, and that somewhat undercut the effort.

Fortunately, the lights dimmed before Alyssa could be humiliated further. Or so she thought.

Something about the chair was pressing against her tailbone. She wriggled in it self-consciously, sending subtle glances left and right to her friends to make sure they didn’t notice. Luckily, they were enjoying the newest preview for the latest flop.

“I can’t believe they’d make a sequel like that,” Sarah whispered. “Wasn’t the first one, like, a drama? This looks… Not.”

“I can’t believe the de-aging looks this bad. My little brother can do better on his phone,” Carrie agreed.

Alyssa wanted to join in, but was distracted by a stomach cramp. She hugged her plush udder a little closer to herself, then reached for the popcorn. Her hand froze. There was a fatal flaw in her plan.

Her costume, cute as it was, also covered her fingers. That definitely explained the secret looks her friends were giving each other at the concession stand. They knew better than anyone that Alyssa hated to get grease stains on her clothes.

But, if she was going to avoid grease stains, then…

The bag crinkled between her ‘hooves’ as Alyssa carefully lifted it towards her face. Her cheeks burned as she opened her mouth, shaking the bag a little to get some popcorn into her mouth. Somehow, none of it spilled, and she smiled proudly.

Plus, the crunching was almost enough to drown out whatever Carrie had said about a “feed bag.” Just to spite Carrie, Alyssa chewed a little bit louder, working her jaw from side to side. Funnily enough, it was getting easier and easier to do.

Alyssa’s eyes glazed, and she turned in her seat a little, easing pressure off her tailbone and putting it on one of her hips instead. She dipped her head down into the popcorn bag to get another mouthful, smacking her lips contentedly. A bit of drool slipped down the side of her mouth, and she slurped it up loudly.

Too loudly. Sarah was staring at her, and the only reason she hadn’t said anything was because she was trying too hard not to laugh.

“Mmhh.” Alyssa gulped down her mouthful of popcorn and pouted. “They make guh-good popcorn here.”

“Sure they do,” Sarah whispered. “But can you kinda keep down the chewing?”

Alyssa took another anxious bite of her popcorn, twitching her ears to try and better focus on the sounds she was making. Her seat creaked beneath her embarrassingly loudly, and she realized she could feel the armrests against both of her hips.

That was a problem. Was it shrinking somehow? Were her friends leaning on the sides? Or was…

She remembered what was bothering her. Tonight was when she’d normally pay her humanity tax.

It’s okay. It would be fine. The changes were always slow to start, as a reminder. Apparently her first change was weight gain, which was great. There were tons of guys that liked plus-sized girls. She could just pay this off, and live with a bit of consequential body mass.

Slowly, subtly, so as not to attract any attention to herself, she patted her hip. If she could quietly pull out her phone, she’d… left her phone in the car. Now she started to panic.

This panic was only made worse as she realized she could see both of her friends at the same time. How much had her face changed? Did her eyes slide to the sides of her head? There were guys that kind of liked that alien look, right?

No, she had to focus. She had to excuse herself, run to the car, and pay off her debt before anything happened.

The chair creaked beneath her, hugging stubbornly onto her hips.

“Nhh. Nhhuh,” Alyssa grunted. She dropped the popcorn, pressing her hands against the armrests. Both slipped off, sharply hitting her friends in their sides.

“Hey!?”

“The hell?”

Alyssa whimpered. The only reason her hands would slip like that is if they didn’t have thumbs. She whipped her hands before her face, thumping them against each other and sobbing at the muffled clack they made.

Sarah was the first to notice something was wrong, and would later curse herself for not noticing sooner. After all, it was blatantly obvious that something was wrong. Alyssa’s cow outfit was now stretched taut across her body, and her face…

“Mglum thawwryyy!” Alyssa’s tongue flopped from her stretched mouth. As if it had a mind of its own, it moved up to her engorged nose, licking at a nostril covered in peach fuzz. Her ears drooped miserably. Even if she paid off her loan now, she was unmistakably bovine.

“How long has this been… You know?” Sarah gulped. “I heard there’s usually like, fifteen minutes to…”

Carrie was much less constructive. “Oh damn, if you weren’t wearing that dumb outfit we’d have maybe seen sooner!”

Alyssa didn’t reply to either of them. She was much too preoccupied by how her fat animal ass was stuck on the chair. To make things worse, something was happening to her belly. She could feel something heavy and warm squished down against her thighs, firmly weighing her legs down.

“Ahm thtuck!” Alyssa whimpered. “Wut’m I turning intRROOOOOOO?”

A few people around them started to shush her, though that died out as irritation turned to pity. Nobody liked to see people change.

Well, except Carrie. The girl stifled a squeak of a snicker, blushing. “I’m sorry! You know these kinds of things always make me laugh!”

“The hell is wrong with you? Our best friend is turning into a cow!”

Cow. Alyssa didn’t want to admit it. Cow. But… Now that she was faced with the facts. “MUUUH! MOOOO! Pluhhh-pleazz-uh! Lemme out! MRRROOO!” She wobbled, but every attempt to rock herself forward somehow pushed her further back into the leather of her seat.

“Sorry for the show, folks!” Carrie waved amicably. Despite her humor, she still put an arm around Alyya’s shoulders, leaning forward and putting her weight into pushing. Sarah joined her, and with a humiliatingly loud squeak, they leveraged Alyssa forward.

CLUPP CLUPP

Alyssa’s clothed feet thumped loudly against the theater floor. Too loudly. Were they hooves too? Were her hands fully changed? Tears dripped down the sides of her face, small droplets landing on the floor to join the huge puddles of her drool.

“Seriously though, what are the odds you dressed as a cow only to turn into one?” Carrie chuckled, oblivious to her friend’s emotional state.

“MUHHH NUHH COWWW!” Despite Alyysa’s cries, the pressure at her tailbone increased. As though finally being freed of the chair had undone some binding, a long cow tail erupted from behind her, shearing through the backside of her pants.

“Stop! She’s not a cow yet. You hear me, girl? You’re not a cow yet.” Sarah was always great with animals, which was probably why she thought it would be comforting to rub Alyssa behind her long, fuzzy ears.

The worst part was that it worked. Alyssa momentarily paused, shuddering with a pleasure that shook her fat hips. She stumbled in place, then fell forward, thumping her chin on the row of seats before her.

Carrie let out a bark of laughter before guiltily covering her mouth again. “Sorry! I’m really not trying to!”

“HRROOOO MMOOO!” Alyssa wailed miserably, wagging her fat ass to try and stand. The motion widened the tear in her outfit, but did little else.

“Her fur even matches her the costume!”

“Carrie, stop!” Sarah hissed.

Alyssa kept wagging her hips, sobbing in distress at how it wasn’t working, how she wasn’t standing. “PuhROOO! Phleeze! Wanna standdduh!”

Carrie couldn’t help herself. “Then why do you keep shaking your cow butt?”

It was a good question. Alyssa paused. She didn’t know why she thought that would… She didn’t know… She didn’t know. Ice trailed down her stretching spine, and she stumbled forward on all fours like an animal, desperate to leave the theater.

The changes weren’t just physical. She should have known better, she’d attended classes on it… Probably. She couldn’t remember them. The more she tried to think, the less she remembered of anything at her school.

“Oh no… Do you think she’s forgotten how to stand?” Sarah asked.

The words all were familiar to Alyssa, but her brain wasn’t latching onto any of them. She didn’t know whether to agree or not, so she instead kept trying to walk forward. The tear in her costume caught on something, and the motion of her bulky body pulled it further off her.

The cool theater air felt cool on her fur. But her fur didn’t feel good on her body. Actually, it did, but she had to tell herself otherwise. She didn’t want to get used to this. She needed to get to her car, to get her phone and didn’t phones need fingers?

Her plan had been a failure from the start. Why hadn’t she realized that? Was her IQ actually the first thing to go?

“Nuhhh! Nuh wannuh be dumRRROO!” Alyssa whined, heart clenching.

“Kinda hard to find a cow that’s an Ivy League scholar,” Carrie muttered, squeaking at a glare from Sarah. “But I mean there’s always room for a first! Weird that she didn’t just have us log into her account for her, though…”

Alyssa couldn’t understand them, no matter how hard she tried. She gathered that something Carrie had said was mean though, and she swatted the girl with her tail. That felt good. Alyssa snorted happily.

Hands gripped her muzzle, and her vision was full of human’s face. No, Sarah’s face! That was Sarah! Alyssa swished her tail proudly. Sarah was making those mouth-sounds, really slowly, trying to spell something out…

“Password. Pass. Word. Pass. Word.” Sarah repeated insistently.

Alyssa’s ears perked up. She knew that word! It was the special word she wanted to use to stop turning into a cow! It was related to something though… Something… Uhh…

A tiny part of her brain remembered what it looked like: “K<<p4ly55AHum@n.” Another part of her brain even tried to moo out what those were. But a much, much larger part of her brain was too stupid to even make it past the first letter.

“Muuhmoo! MOOooMOO!” She thought she was doing well, she really did. But even the best of her intentions were nowhere near what was needed to overcome her sheer bovine stupidity.

The cow wondered why the person in front of her looked so sad. She’d done a good job mooing, hadn’t she? The cow licked the human’s face. The other human made happy sounds at that, so something must have been good about that.

That was good. She was a good cow. And, ironically, she was proud of that.