(Various M and F TF, Cat TF, Bird TF, Farm TF)

Amelia felt like her blood was boiling. She’d put up with these filthy mortals and their technology for much too long now. Whatever happened to books, or better yet, hand-inked scrolls? Now everything was available on demand, and the world had suffered for it. All that was left now was to punish them.

Once Amelia found a suitably ironic

“Oh. Em. Gee. That is so literally us!”

Amelia spotted a woman using one of her infernal ‘applications’ to digitally de-age herself and the man next to her.

She’d have preferred they use an animal filter, but this would do.

xXx

Amanda looked over to Harry with a small grin on her face. “I mean, assuming you don’t mind being the baby here.”

She’d done a good job with the filter. She looked like a modern influencer, and he’d been replaced with a picture perfect infant.

“Come on, you know I hate age cracks,” Harry sighed. At a few years older than her, he’d always felt guilty of ‘cradle-snatching’ or whatever prudes liked to call it these days. “Amandommy, let’s get back to the car.”

“Wow, tired much?” Amanda arched an eyebrow then turned her attention back to her phone. “Never thought you had an Oedipus Complex.”

“Huh? Wait, no, I…” His brow furrowed, and had she taken the time to look, she’d have seen the stubble on his face recede. “Amommy, I tried to call you Mommy. Mommy? I mean… Mommy!”

The last one made his voice crack, and Amanda turned to find the space at her shoulder empty. She shivered, a little unnerved, and noticed that her hoodie felt a little looser on herself than normal. “Harry? Where’d you go?”

“Mommy!” He cried again, from below her.

Amanda looked down and found that Harry was little more than a child fumbling around in his oversized dress shirt. As she watched, he shrank further, a high-pitched cry piercing the air.

“Harry?” She gawped.

“Sumtin’s wong, Mommy! I feew… Mommy! Wan Mahmeeee!” His words degenerated into an infantile babble, and Amanda took a terrified step back, tripping over her heels.

She fell onto her backside with a huff, kicking a foot out and sending an oversized heel skittering across the ground. Her shoes had gotten too big for her feet. Or… Her feet had gotten too small for her shoes.

A cold sweat dewed on her back. Amanda looked at her hands to find the creases of age fading away. Would her change end like his? Would she turn into a brainless baby too?

No, it didn’t seem quite that way. Her own changes were slowing, leaving her younger, but not to the point of incapability. She didn’t know how she knew, she just did. But before she could act, a shadow fell over her.

Amanda found tan-skinned giantess looking down on her changed form, with an expression of cruel delight.

“Foolish mortals! Enjoy your new forms, and a return to the base beings that you were in youth!” The stranger launched into a rather impressive sermon detailing her issues with the modern world and how she planned to correct them.

It was a good speech, assuming the listener had a longer attention span than a goldfish. “Damn, you’re thick.”

xXx                                                                                                                                        

“I… Beg your pardon?” Amelia blinked.

“You beg? Wow, you’re old too.” The girl snapped a picture of Amelia’s stunned expression, heedless of the crying infant that had been her… Friend? Husband? Amelia felt like she should ask. “Still, gyatt.”

“I… I do not…” Amelia had to take a moment to compose herself. “Moving on, you should be terrified! Or comforting your new little brother!” Amelia tried to twist the knife of her transformation in further.

“Eh. Big manic pixie energy, and I’m kinda into that.” The girl smirked, flipping her phone so Amelia could see the screen.

To Amelia’s surprise, the girl had somehow digitally edited the photo to make Amelia look suitably imposing, and had changed the mall’s backdrop for a rather charming Roman villa. “When did you find the time to…”

“You really need to keep up. Come on, I think you wanna have some fun, so let’s have some fun. I’m Mandy by the way.” The girl hopped to her feet, ignoring the infant across from her.

“Uhm… Your new brother…” Amelia gestured lamely, at a loss.

“Nah, I’m all about that ‘found family’ stuff. You can have him if you want.” Mandy paused, seeing a couple of collegiates taking selfies. “Ooh. See that? Perfect example. They’re mewing.”

Half of what she said didn’t make sense to Amelia, but she understood that last part. “I can work with that,” she mused.

xXx

Drea didn’t know what was happening. One second she was taking some selfies with her best friends, and the next they were all… Cats? She wouldn’t believe it if she hadn’t seen it happen herself.

Cassie had shrank down into the collar of her hoodie with a comical yelp. The last Drea had seen of the girl’s human body was a hand that had nearly twisted itself into a paw. Then, a long and dexterous tail curled out from within the pile of clothing, followed by an adorable furred face.

Amy didn’t even notice what happened to Cassie, probably because she was so preoccupied by the new whiskers sprouting from her cheeks. She pressed her fingers against them, wincing as her cheeks suddenly puffed up in response. “I think someowprrr’s…” Her eyes widened, then she too shrank away.

Hannah simply… Wasn’t. Her eyes glazed over immediately, and she’d started to lick at the back of her hand. The more her tongue played against her skin, the more fur grew over the rest of her body, until soon she was a human-sized cat, stubbornly trying to lick away the last of her humanity.

Drea tried to run, tried to call for help. But her former friends circled around her legs, purring, tails swishing mischievously. One of them, she couldn’t tell them apart anymore, jumped up to her hips, trying to climb her. The weight pulled her down. No, worse, it changed her.

Drea screamed as she lost her balance. One of her legs had shrunken away. It felt like she’d stepped into a hole, half of her body suddenly dipping as the ground became much, much further away. She caught herself with both arms, only for the cats to pounce on her hands, kneading them with their paws.

Drea could feel her arms shrinking, dwindling away. Tears dewed at her eyes, and she looked around for anyone to help. But other than two nearby women, nobody seemed to notice. She reached toward them, recoiling at the sight of her changed arm. It was now so much furrier, so much thinner. Her hand was now a paw, with big digits and velvety pads.

To her horror, the older of the strangers noticed her, and gave her a friendly wave. Then the cats tackled her, swarming over her body. Each fluffy push of their paws stole more of her humanity, each lick brought a new wave of feline instinct to the forefront of her brain.

In just seconds, Drea was forgotten, and all that was left was a tabby who joined her new friends in play.

xXx

Amelia looked proudly at the squirming mass of cats. Then she saw the disapproving stare Mandy was giving her.

“It’s not like that! It’s looksmaxxing.” The girl pouted, as though that made any sense.

“… I could have sworn you spoke English.”

Mandy rolled her eyes and sighed. “You want to just go and randomly change people, you have to do it right!”

“I’m trying!” Amelia suddenly felt that she was much too old, and much too tired for this. Still, it did seem that Mandy found some interest in what she was doing. Already, the girl was scanning the mall, before settling her eyes on a young woman and her mother.

“There. I want you to act like a streamer and go up to those two.”

“You want me to act like a banner?” Amelia looked confused.

“No, like… A… Um. Performer?” Mandy tried again. “Actually, never mind. Just let me take the lead, and you do the changing.

Before Amelia could rein the girl in, she was already off.

xXx

Kim checked her phone for the hundredth time. Which honestly was pretty rude to her daughter, all things considered. However, that was just the way of her generation. Helicopter parents until they grew bored, and they bored so easily.

“Hey, mom, they asked you a question.” Beclyn tugged at her mom’s sleeve.

“They asked me a question?” Kim muttered. She always did that when she zoned out. It started out as teasing her little girl, but had turned into a habit awfully quickly.

“Mom!”

The urgency in Beclyn’s voice snapped Kim back to the present, and she looked up to find a woman and her… Daughter? The two didn’t look related, but it was the current year… Then she saw that the girl was recording them on her phone.

“Hey, are you recording us? You need to stop that!” Kim snapped. “I didn’t consent to that!”

“No, I’m not recording you, birdbrain,” the strange girl sighed and put an awful lot of emphasis on that word. It was more than a little insulting, especially given how she looked at the woman beside her as she said it. “I’m streaming you.”

“Oh,” Kim blinked. “Then… I guess that’s fine?”

Beclyn tugged at her mother’s sleeve. “It’s basically the same thing.”

“Basically the same thing?” Kim tilted her head, twitching slightly. “Basically the same thing!”

“Wow, she’s rather well trained,” The girl chuckled. “I’m Mandy by the way.”

“Mom, you’re embarrassing me,” Beclyn blushed.

“Embarrassing me!” Kim shuddered again. Something didn’t feel right about her body. It was prickly in all the wrong places. And her feet felt… It was like they were dry and yet numb at the same time. She looked down to her crocs, and found dark talons where her toes should have been.

She tried to scream in panic, to tell her daughter something was wrong. Instead, she shouted again. “Embarrassing me!”

“Stop being awkward!” Beclyn begged, tears in her eyes.

“Awkward! Awwwkward! AWWWWWK!” It was like a cough that wouldn’t stop. Kim’s head kept jerking forward again and again, and each time her teeth pushed a little further past her lips, hardening into a solid, curved beak. It clacked, an she reached her fingers up to it to find they weren’t fingers anymore.

Thick, green feathers now covered her arms, and this time she did screech in panic. The sound was alien to her, utterly avian. Her fingers stiffened, and the shopping bag she’d carried fell to the ground with a crinkling of paper.

“You’re making a scene!” Beclyn said, sharper this time. Chiding, almost.

Kim looked at her daughter in astonished horror, seeing a stern look in the girl’s eye. What was going on? Why couldn’t she “MAKING A SCENE!” couldn’t she “MAKING A SCENE!” couldn’t she think “MAKING A SCENE AWWWWK!”

Her skull shrank with the rest of her, squeezing her brain tight in a vise. The girl grabbed at her, tutting, tutting the overlarge clothing off of her and dropping it into the bag that had been beside her.

“I’ve told you so many times, haven’t I Kimmy? Behave yourself if you ride in the bag, don’t get tangled up in my clothes!” Her owner tutted.

“Awwrrk?” She tilted her head. She was… It was so hard to think of anything but of her as… herself. She knew she had a name. Kimmy! Of course. That was her name. She should say it. She got treats when she said it, and the other thing. “Kimmy wanna cracker!”

xXx

Mandy laughed. “Well, I guess I can’t really ask you any more questions, can I? I’d just get another birdbrained answer!” Then she gave a giddy wave, letting the girl walk away carrying the parrot that had been her mother just a moment ago.

“That was…” Amelia started, at a loss.

“Nice job catching on, I was worried I’d have to spell it out for you. Spell it out for you? Like magic? It’s a joke.” Mandy seemed awfully pleased with herself for her idea. “Okay, so that’s the basics of it. Right?”

“Right,” Amelia nodded slowly. This generation’s sense of fatefully ironic was… Well, it was almost cruel in many ways. Amelia loved it.

“Now, try out that double date at the food court.” Mandy snapped another photo, showing Amelia what looked like a pair of cute couples that had gone out to eat at precisely the wrong time.

xXx

“Excuse me!”

Mark and Molly were the first to notice the stranger, probably because Rob was too busy trying to defend his fries from Sandra’s questing fingers.

Mark immediately turned his gaze away, fearful of what his fiancée would say. After all, this new arrival was gorgeous, with smooth tanned skin and a figure that could have been carved out of marble.

“Can we help you?” Molly’s tone was icy. She was the jealous type, which had always gotten on Mark’s nerves.

“I am… I mean, I’m,” The woman sighed, then before their eyes seemed to deflate slightly. She lost a few feet of height, and her eyes grew a little more rounded on her features. Oddly enough, none of the group thought it was strange. They simply carried on as normal.

“Just need to reinforce the mortals’ obliviousness,” the strange girl muttered, “and there! Perfect. It’s so much easier to act a role when I look the part.”

She seemed smug about it for some reason. Molly was just glad that she didn’t need to worry about her boyfriend giving the girl any funny looks.

“As I was saying,” the girl whipped out a phone. “You’re all on Mel’s livestream, say hi! We’re all about these fun little reactions, right?”

“Uh, hi?” Rob took his attention away from Sandra, suitably interested in what she had to say. “What’s up?”

“Well, I couldn’t help notice your girl kept pecking at your fries,” Mel began, looking at Sandra.

Sandra felt a terrible magic course through her body. Her sense of danger surged, and she looked desperately at her date, about to beg him to leave. But instead of any words, a small cluck slipped from her lips.

“And?” Rob hadn’t noticed in the slightest.

“Ro-burt! Ro-bu-buhk-CAW!” Sandra flapped her arms, scattering a few feathers onto the table. Feathers? She looked to her hands in horror, finding long quills sprouting from the backs of her hands. Each soon tufted itself in thick white down, and she began to pluck at them.

“Well, I was wondering what you felt about bringing her into the mall?”

Rob still didn’t understand. She was his… Date? Oh, wait, that was odd. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t date a chicken. So why would he ever have thought she was? He clicked his tongue, trying to reason through this puzzle.

Unfortunately for Sandra, there was nothing he really could have done anyways. She warbled as her body compressed. Her thighs plumped, her arms shrank away to nearly nothing, and her shaved legs turned coarse and knobbly. She started to fuss at the clothing around herself, and by the time she’d freed her body, there was too little left of her brain to remember who she was.

Still, the hen knew something was wrong. Or… She thought there was. Maybe she was hungry. She tried pecking at the food on the table, but the man brushed her back with his hand, talking to the other person.

“I mean… I guess…” Rob settled on an answer. “It’s no different from bringing a dog in public, right?”

“No different than a dog?” Molly laughed. “You’re talking about a chicken! Dogs don’t lay eggs, idiot!” She snorted. And snorted again.

Mark watched with stunned eyes as Molly started to bloat before him. Her nose flattened on her face, and she let out a loud “HRRNK.” New breasts swelled beneath her shirt, and she grunted a “grrrunk.” Then she began to gorge herself on her tray of pizza with a hearty “SKREEE!”

Mark reached out with a trembling hand towards his girlfriend, only to notice Mel’s gaze on him. “Um… Was there something you wanted to ask?”

“Well, yeah. How come you let her sit at the table, huh?” Mel snickered.

Mark looked at his pet pig with a scoff. “Well, because otherwise she doesn’t eat. She’s really jealous, you see. Doesn’t like the thought of me bein’ round other girls.” A southern twang started to settle into his voice as he spoke, and he shook out his hair. He’d kept it so neatly trimmed, but now it a mop of sun-bleached curls.

“And what about your sister?” Mel asked.

A similar change was gripping Rob… No, Barb? Marge snickered at the thought of forgetting her own sister’s name. She looked idly by at Barb’s bust, giggling again at the alliteration before her home-schooled brain forgot what such concept was.

“Well, whall she’s all giggly,” Barb leaned forward with a smirk. “T’aint nothin’bout’t. See, jus’lahk our pappy, fat ‘ol Molly here don’t mind if we keep’t’tween kin.”

Mel tutted. “Ooh, well that might be a bit too personal for my usual audience. I’ll just leave you with that before I get cancelled.”

xXx

“How’s that?” Amelia bounced over to Mandy smugly, each step returning her height and dignity to herself. “Fitting enough for you?”

“Not bad! Of course, we’re only getting started. We’ve gotta bring you up to speed on the rizzler, everything ohio, and of course speed’s latest,” Mandy excitedly whipped through her phone, ignorant of the look on the older woman’s face.

This young generation was so exhausting… Perhaps she’d have been better off simply leaving things be.