You sigh, looking at your phone. It’s just another day at the mall, another humdrum, boring day. Really, you don’t even know why you’re here. There’s far better things for you to do, and yet you find yourself coming back to the same shake shack as always.
Really, you wish that something interesting would happen, to wake you from this.
“Attention, ladies and gentlemen!” A loud voice calls, and you look up to find a young man standing on a table. He looks like he’s just barely entered college, and you wonder if this is some sort of prank. At least it beats looking at your phone.
Despite the fact that he’s grabbed your attention, it looks like not many other people have turned to him. This is a food court, after all. The man seems a little put out by this, and he hops onto another table, his shoes inches from a woman’s food.
She glares up to him, and you learn forward. This will be interesting. Is she part of the act? If not… Well, she looks like the sort of woman who’d scream for a supervisor if her receipt wasn’t alphabetized. No doubt he’ll get some sort of tongue-lashing.
“What the HELL do you think you’re doing?” Sure enough, she goes off like a firecracker. The woman stands, jabbing her finger in his chest. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m eating here!”
“I know you are, you dumb pig.” He replies, laughing.
For a moment, you wonder how she’ll reply to that. Then you see her body start to swell. It’s like she’s being inflated, thick fat stretching her clothes at the seams. As her top tears from her fattening form, a pair of tusks curl over her upper lip.
It’s all too real to be an act, and you stare in unmitigated horror as the woman before you changes into a pig. Her skin becomes an ugly pink hide, her face pushes out into a blunt, snuffling muzzle, and she squeals with a stupid animalistic content.
Then she gets to work feasting on her lunch, the paper plate it was served on, her napkins… You look from the pig to the man in horror, then back to the pig.
This time, you’re not the only one who was watching. The woman didn’t change quietly, and people around the mall are stuck like deer in the headlights, staring in numb shock at the man standing so confidently before them.
An older woman joins him on stage, a smirk playing across her lips. She’s a dark-skinned beauty, with curls that bounce with her every move. “Now that my associate has gotten your attention… Allow me to explain ourselves to you. We are Shifters. We are your superiors.”
As if to prove this point, she points at a young couple on a date. The two of them have enough time to look surprised before a puff of smoke encapsulates their bodies, leaving them naked. Another puff, and a pair of tights and a sports bra lie on the ground where two humans stood.
How does that even work? The pig transformation made some sort of sense, one living thing becoming another, but… Clothes? You swallow hard, looking for the exit. It’s just ahead of you, you should be able to make it out in time…
It looks like group of doctors from the nearby hospital are one step ahead of you. That’s probably why they’re medical professionals, something about calm under pressure. You watch them run for the exit, only to be stopped by a young blonde in a dress.
“Oh, come on! You know you want to play!” She lifts her hands and hugs the nurse that’s leading the group.
Before your eyes, the woman shrinks down into her clothing, her eyes glazing over and a stitched smile working its way across her face. Her body puffs up, and soon she’s just a teddy bear, trapped in the child’s embrace.
One of the other doctors tries to dash past her, and for his efforts he’s reduced to a floppy-eared stuffed bunny. He only made it one step before shrinking with a loud squeak, cotton fur blooming from him and his frame becoming ever so simple.
“My husband! What did you do to him?” The last doctor wails. If anyone hadn’t been staring at this latest transformative onslaught, they were now.
“She’s loud. I don’t want her.” The girl says matter-of-factly. “Hey, Ty-Ty! Put this yappy bitch in her place.”
“Language.” Chides the dark-skinned woman.
“As you wish.” Laughs the young man.
You look back to the nurse in time to see fur, so much fur sprout from her skin. She collapses onto her hands, lifting her ass in the air to expose a frantically wagging tail. Drool openly drips from her lips as she grows a pointed Pinscher snout, and she dives upon the stuffed rabbit, squeaking it madly in her teeth as she completes her transformation.
You wonder if she latched onto the hapless toy because of any sentimentality, or if it was because it was the closest thing in sight.
“Now that we have your attention. Running is fruitless, hiding is useless. But playing along… Well, that might just let you walk out of here.” The man calls. “You can call me Tyler. The lovely lady with a fondness for clothes is Nadine, and the young girl over there is Petal. Don’t worry, she’s already punished her parents for naming her that.”
“I didn’t punish them! They’re my favoritest snugglies!” Petal chirps loudly.
“Right.” Tyler chuckles. “As I was saying… Let’s play a game, shall we? Everyone here, we’ll be taking volunteers. Play along, and you get to leave this dreadful mall as a human. Play wrong, and we’ll have to have some fun.”
Much to your surprise, one of the local workers steps up. She worked for the cheap mall pizza chain, which… You realize that you don’t really have a name for what she does. She’s not really a cook, and ‘employee’ sounds so generic…
You realize you’re been drifting, and you look back up to the brunette as she steps towards them. “I’ll… I’ll do whatever you want. I have a family I need to take care of.”
Tyler grins to her. “Well, then. All you need to do is kiss me.” He taps his lips, and you see his eyes fixated on the ring she keeps on her right hand.
Ah. So that’s it. You do your best to hide your distaste at the man, fearful that he might notice. The brunette doesn’t bother to do this, physically recoiling.
Then her cheeks bulge, and her skin turns green. She lets out a horrified croak, dwindling away within her clothing. You catch a glimpse of webbed hands and a slimy verdant form, then a toad hops from within her outfit.
“Shame. Maybe you’ll find your prince someday.” The man laughs, motioning to Nadine.
The black woman laughs, pointing towards another lovely young couple. You get the impression that she has something against others’ happiness, and somehow also feel relieved that you decided to come to the mall alone today.
“You two. Tell us your names.”
“Alison.” Says the girl, a trembling redhead.
“Wayne.” Says her boyfriend, a blonde.
“Good! Now… Tell me your favorite clothes to wear, and be sure you say your favorites. Your little love is about to become them.” The woman purses her lips, smirking.
“I couldn’t possibly do that to her!” Wayne protests loudly. He turns towards his date, as if to beg her to let him make some sort of sacrifice.
“A pink teddy, the kind of nightgown I’ll never get tired of wearing.” Alison says without hesitation.
You watch as the man vanishes, and a piece of clothing flutters to the ground. Alison picks it up with trembling hands, looking up to Nadine with wide, fearful eyes. “I… Is that good? I mean… Is it okay? Can I leave?”
The woman laughs. “No.” She extends a hand towards the girl, only to laugh harder. “Oh my God, the look on your face! Of course you’re free to go, you’re a good sport.”
You actually feel envious of the girl as she clutches her new teddy to her chest, sprinting from the mall. You wonder if her boyfriend is still in there at all, if he can feel her holding him. If he is, you hope she remains true to her word, and wears him often.
“My turn, my turn!” Petal hops up and down, looking to an overweight mall cop, which you suppose is a bit redundant. “Turn into a slinky!”
His body coils around itself countless times, a scream degenerating into the clatter of metal on metal. The girl giggles and moves the toy back and forth in her hands, before noticing the stern glares from her friends. “What?”
“Petal, we’ve been over this. You’re supposed to make them play a game, and you can’t always win.” Nadine explains.
“But I like winning.”
“But winning all the time gets boring.” Tyler adds.
“No it doesn’t.”
“Trust me, kid… Sometimes it does.” He yawns. “Eh, I give up. Nadine, you try something with her.”
The dark-skinned woman rolls her eyes, before looking down to the girl. “Sweetie, remember what I just did? Why don’t you try something like that? Make a game where one person wins, and the other doesn’t. That way you still get a win, but the other person loses.”
Petal looks like she’s intrigued, then she shakes her head. “Nah, not interested. Hey, you!” She points to a petite teen girl. “Now, tell me! How large is Australia!”
The teen replies about as you’d expect. “What.”
“Wrong! It’s two hundred, ninety-seven million miles squared, populated by twenty-four point one three million people according to the 2016 census!” The child giggles.
Her victim looks helplessly up to the two on stage. “How is that even fair? I-”
That’s about as far as she gets before she melts. Her features slough away into one another, changing into a bright shade of red. Her whole body collapses into a puddle of silly putty, and Petal immediately occupies herself with it.
“The kid’s a genius. That’ll be the death of us.” Nadine sighs.
“But you gotta admit, it’ll be an interesting death.” Tyler elbows her in the ribs, grinning. “Anyways, I’m bored now. Let’s play ‘animal mayhem’.”
“We always play that.” Nadine sighs.
“And zoos are still empty, while your closet and Petal’s toybox are full. Come on, let me have this.” The man simpers.
“Fine.”
“Great!” Tyler rubs his hands together. “We’ve got four rapid-fire transformations coming up here for all of you to partake in! The rest of you are free to go! First off… Everyone here whose name ends in a vowel is going to become the grossest animal you can think of!”
You stare in shock as people around you begin to change. A mother oozes her way into slugdom as her children become a pair of snakes. A nearby yoga addict wails as her feminine figure bloats into the shape of a pig-no, a boar. Across the hall, you can see a young man hugging a rat to his chest, crying out his girlfriend’s name.
Thank God for your parents, you suppose.
“Next up! Last ten people to tap their nose with a finger,” your hand is already securely on the side of your nose, “turn into puppies!”
A pang of regret settles in your chest as you watch more people change. At least puppies are cute, it wouldn’t be so bad to change into one of those… You look at a secretary as she barks mindlessly, growling and nibbling at her clothing as she shrinks into it, covered in fur. Beside her, what was once an obese woman is now a tiny poodle, yapping cutely and wriggling in place.
“Now… Anyone who’s twenty-one gets to drink freely as a camel!”
More mallgoers grunt, humps sprouting from their backs. The young man beside you grunts as his neck stretches away from the rest of his body, his hips and shoulders popping loudly. A woman bellows as her growing dromedary hump bursts from the back of her dress. A man actually laughs at the stupefied look on his best friend’s face as it stretches out into a muzzle.
“Yes!” Tyler points at the laughing man. “More of that! Come on, it’s fun, it’s a game! And what game could possibly end better than one of chance? Everyone, think of your favorite animals…”
He pauses, and you take the time to close your eyes, picturing it vividly in your head. It’s a mercy, and it’s one you’re willing to take. Even though it might mean losing your humanity, at least you’ll have some say in it.
“Okay, good! Now… I see the mall has checkerboard tiles, so everyone whose right foot is touching a black tile gets to become that!”
You open your eyes and look down. Sure enough, right foot black. It’s like the worst game of Twister ever, which is a hell of a last thought. Then a numbness washes over your mind, and the last thing your human mind sees is the floor growing closer as you fall to all fours.