(People to Monsters)


Crusher roared, and Lux growled in response.

Eric ‘Crusher’ Callaghan: best fighter in his region. At least, he used to be until ‘Lux’ showed up. Nobody knew who he was, only that he showed up in a mask and hoodie. People tried to find out what was under the mask, but all of the ‘Venntendants’—Monster Wars’s ‘designated transformers’—refused to speak.

A little into Lux’s first appearance on the scene, people learned another thing about the masked fighter. He never lost.

Eric hated that about the guy. Ever since Eric had been broadcast online during the underground national finals, ‘Lux’ had started showing up to every tournament he was in.

Their first face-off was as a modified mastodon versus an altered ankylosaur at the Underground Prehistoric Open. Eric had been the mastodon, and he had lost brutally.

Eric could still remember that day.

He’d performed so well, making it to the semifinals. The ring was the same as ever: a makeshift coliseum funded by someone with too much time and not enough aspirations. Its sandy floor was already colored by the blood of some of the previous competitors.

There a common ankylosaur was waiting for him. At the sight of his massive elephant-like body, the ankylosaur seemed to quail, pawing at the dirt nervously. Even its tail was held stiff out, no doubt in terror.

Eric had grinned. He had no idea how Lux had come that far, but this match was over before it had begun. He charged at the ankylosaur, his tusks braces. The modifications Eric had made to his body had left him lithe and springy, with thick plates on his joints. The ankylosaur didn’t stand a chance.

The crowd cheered; Eric tasted victory.

Then there was a tremendous cracking as Lux’s tail whipped around, crashing into the underside of Eric’s head. All of his teeth shattered from the force of the blow, and blood filled Eric’s mouth.

He’d never had his jaw broken before, so the pain of it caught him by surprise. Even with his nerves dimmed down to a quarter sensitivity, it still hurt like a son of a bitch. More than that, he was shocked at how his teeth slid down his throat, carving up his windpipe.

Eric hocked up a gobbet of blood-tinged phlegm, then trumpeted. He glared down and lifted a leg to crush the offending animal beneath him.

Lux had swung early, and didn’t have time to redress with his extended tail. For a split second, Eric basked in his victory. Then he saw his undoing.

The ankylosaur’s tail had split down the middle. Moreover, it looked like there was some sort of internal mechanism to it, something that left the limb taut like a catapult. The first swing had already been released, but the other half of the beast’s tail remained locked and ready.

Eric tried to bring his foot down faster, to use the hooves he’d grafted to his body and crush Lux beneath him. But Lux’s second shot fired just as fast as the first.

Time slowed as the crowd’s gasps echoed in Eric’s ears. He could see the second half of the ankylosaur’s tail twitch, the joint that had locked it in place now released. It snapped forward at a blinding speed, cracking against the side of Eric’s head.

Blood swam across his vision as his right eyeball burst from the force; and a tremendous cracking signified the end of one of his tusks. Again came the sensation of splintered bone and torn muscles; this time with the unpleasant sensation of feeling one of his eyeballs dangling loose from the socket.

Eric stumbled, but managed to remain on his four feet. Not that it did him much good.

Lux had dipped beneath him, his spined shell on the weak and unprotected interior of Eric’s plates. Then Lux tensed; all of his spikes lengthening to spit Eric’s legs. The clever bastard had rigged his shell to have retractable spears!

The crowd went wild at that. Ingenuity was often appreciated in Monster Wars, and they loved a new take on an old classic.

Blinding pain rushed through Eric’s body as blood poured from his wounds. The attack was good: it had hit two of Eric’s tendons, on opposite ends of his body. It was all the mastodon could do to remain standing. He let out an enraged bellow, helpless.

A loud clicking filled the air, and Lux padded back out to Eric’s front. The ankylosaur’s tail was held out again, perfectly taut.

Eric groaned, knowing what came next. He wasn’t disappointed.

Lux fired both proverbial barrels, the two tails smacking into either side of Eric’s head. It didn’t matter that he was overly armored; the hammer-like blows were enough to concuss him to brainlessness. Eric lost control of his body, and slumped to the ground.

The worst part about this death was that he could feel his body; just not control it. So Eric sensed his legs spasming against the ground as Lux padded over. The ankylosaur licked Eric’s face—to literally taste victory, perhaps. Then he spun around, lifting his tail up only to bring it down in a hammer blow that crushed Eric’s skull like a hammer against an overripe melon.

Eric had lost that tournament, but at least Lux had gone on to be the champion. As much as Eric hated to lose, he took some pride in losing to the best.

Then came the next week’s tournament. Eric had chosen to compete in the aquatic section: a large dome with a massive clear pool constructed in the center. All combat took place in the water, and was truly surreal.

Eric anticipated seeing someone like Lux show up; try a trick. So for the Sea War event, Eric had chosen a massive snapping turtle, complete with a razor-sharp pincher at the ends of each of his fins.

Lux, however, had chosen some amphibian form. It looked almost humanoid: it had four long limbs with ‘hands’ and ‘feet’ that ended in a squid’s suction cups. These stemmed from an armored torso that sported hundreds of tiny tendrils, like a jellyfish’s tentacles. And on the turtle’s back were several round cylinder-like protrusions.

So, it was mutant turtle versus mutant turtle. Eric had grinned at the thought. His snapping turtle’s form was more than enough to take care of this.

The crowd cheered his name despite his prior losses. A chant of “Crusher” filled the air. Eric did a few passes in the tank, then set about on the attack.

The cylinders were probably a trap, so Eric went low. He severed one of Lux’s ‘legs’ easily: using his fin-pincer to clip the offending target. He regretted the decision on the spot. Instead of blood, Lux bled a thick ink that clouded Eric’s vision, covering his eyes.

Even though the cut was clean, and the limb drifted in the Sea War ‘Battle Tank’, Eric was the one at a disadvantage. Blinded, he lashed out with his pincers, snapping them open and shut in a vain attempt to remain on the offensive.

But the second each of his pincers were closed, Eric felt Lux’s tentacles wrapping around them, locking them shut for the remainder of the match. It looked like the bastard was planning to make it a draw by time: the least honorable way to ‘win’ a tournament.

But Lux didn’t stop at the pin. He was moving into a better position.

Eric could feel faint impacts against his shell as Lux found his intended spot. A clacking filled the water as Lux pressed his shell against Eric’s. Eric glanced down, trying to snap at the predator that was just out of his range. Then all of Eric’s internal organs ruptured and a tremendous crack left him deaf.

The crowd screamed in surprise, clearly seeing something Eric didn’t.

Terrible pain filled Eric’s body, a wet sloshing inside of him that shouldn’t normally exist. He vomited up what felt like most of his insides, his eyes wide with shock. How in the hell did he lose that one? Eric gurgled out another cough, his heart already beginning to fail. The amount of blood in the water meant that he only had a few moments left.

Lux let him go, perhaps give Eric a chance to see how he’d been killed. The underside of Lux’s ‘turtle’ carapace had been shattered, no more than a veneer for what lay beneath. There were organized rows of compartments, each with a small cylinder inside of it.

It was like Lux had filled his body with a veritable artillery battery of Alpheidae claws. When the entire set of ‘Pistol Shrimp’ claws had fired, the ensuing shockwave was enough to mortally wound Eric. A single-use finisher. No doubt those other ‘cylinders’ on the shell were extra claws, hidden from sight.

As if Lux had read his mind, a few of the shells popped off, forming a mocking heart of bubbles in the water. Eric had just enough time to think Lux was a bastard before he died.

Eric had hoped the third time would be the charm. It was back to the old dusty coliseum for him. And, much to his chagrin, the crowd seemed split between Crusher and Lux.

On that day, Eric had become a fusion of crab and crocodile alike. His legs gave him good balance and the ability to walk if one was removed. His arms were massive claws, capable of tearing flesh and shattering bone. And his head was a wide, fanged maw.

Lux’s form, on the other hand, held no aesthetic appeal. It looked like a hard shell which could move about using rows of scuttling legs. The thing’s offensive capabilities were clear: a set of scorpion-like tails emerging from the cocoon-like carapace.

Before Eric could wonder how such a ponderous form was Monster Wars legal, it set off at a breakneck pace towards him. He cursed mentally, scuttling to the side. Of course the damned thing would be fast. But that meant its shell would be weak.

Eric grinned behind his fanged maw: this was too easy. But first, he’d need to deal with Lux’s scorpion tails. The shell must have had some sense of smell, because it kept spinning to face Eric. Its every tail would lash out, snaking towards Eric’s form at a whip’s speed.

But Eric was faster, swaying and scuttling out of the way, lunching forwards and severing Lux’s tails one by one. The shell let out a distorting shriek, jets of blood fountaining from its severed stumps. Eric had made his window: Lux’s left side was completely stripped of striking tails.

He crunched one of Lux’s severed limbs underfoot, clacking forwards menacingly. Predictably, Lux spun to address him.

It was the opening Eric had been looking for. He dashed around his foe, using the full mobility of his crablike legs for the first time that battle.

The barren side of Lux’s shell was wide open. Eric grinned, spearing an arm forward to punch through his opponent’s open flank.

Then the shell cracked open.

One second, Lux’s form was a shell that had been stripped of half its tails. The next, there was a screeching primate heading towards Eric’s head. It looked like a glistening, slimy ape with four arms. Only its head didn’t have eyes. Instead, the ape’s face had a batlike nose and big ears.

That explained how Lux was able to ‘see’ Eric. But could the bastard ‘see’ quick motion? Eric tested this by snapping his claws forward.

Of course, Lux had predicted such an attack. The ape’s plated shoulders wetly opened to reveal row upon row of glistening eyes. Its hands snapped out, two grabbing Eric’s shoulders and two his wrists.

Eric had just enough time to whimper in distress before Lux literally tore him to pieces. The first to go were his arms, then his legs. Eric was just a torso on the ground, surrounded by still-twitching limbs. He glared up at Lux defiantly, snapping his jaws in vain.

Lux simply put his lowest two hands on Eric’s shoulders and his upper right on the top of Eric’s head. With his last remaining hand, Luc blew Eric a kiss; then tore the crab-croc’s head off.

By the fourth match, Eric was incensed. He had written up detailed instructions for Monster Wars’ ‘Venntendant’, specific instructions that would lead the man to making Eric into as clever a combatant as any of Lux’s. Eric had considered doing his normal routine of describing the creature aloud; but this had to be perfect.

He had come up with a spine-launching bird. It was a simple process: the bird would puff itself of; then use a sharp motion to fire off an organic needle at a target. The plan was to use flesh-eating scarabs, but apparently those ‘weren’t allowed’.

Whatever the case, he was fully prepared. The second the match began, he took in Lux’s new form. Today, Lux had taken on a startlingly humanoid form. It looked like a heavily armored woman atop a snake’s body, a clever illusion brought on by sloping plates of chitinous armor.

Eric almost scoffed at that: what the hell was Lux’s plan? He puffed himself up and sent a questing shot at the armored form.

It punched through the living plate with ease, and Lux sent a three-fingered hand to his arm in distress.

Eric let out a triumphant squawk, beating his six wing to give himself more altitude. Then he puffed up for another shot.

Lux’s reaction was as immediate as it was unexpected. His arm whipped forward, a long whiplike cord snapping out the plated forearm. His tail seemed to deflate slightly as the ‘cord’ extended: it must have been a muscle that ran through Lux’s entire body.

Eric had enough time to let out a squawk in distress as the cord punched through his body. He’d anticipated it to be lasso, not a reusable arrow. But at least it had missed his lungs…

No sooner had the thought passed through Eric’s mind than the cord flexed, sharp needles poking from it as it began to inflate within his body. Too distracted to fly, Eric began to fall to the ground, an ever-expanding cord pushing aside his guts and stretching his skin.

Then Eric slammed into the ground and popped. It wasn’t like a balloon, more like an exploding body after decomposition. His guts sprayed across the floor, and his last thought was Lux mock-stiffening in shock, a sarcastic ‘Did I do that?’ Hanging in the air.

By now, Eric had gotten sick of seeing these little displays from Lux. He’d chosen a massive blind worm, complete with a gaping gullet and a long set of arms. He heard later that Lux had stuck with the same form as before; that damnable naga with the whips.

All that he knew was that he was too unused to a life without eyes, and it took Lux an embarrassingly short time to snake around behind Eric, wrapping his naga tail around the worm’s body.

Helpless, Eric thrashed in place, barely budging Lux an inch. The worst part was, Lux used Eric’s last few seconds to stroke his head, petting him tauntingly. Eric’s thrashes drew to faint twitches. As though sensing this was the end, Lux used this time to squeeze further.

It was like a car backing over a tube of toothpaste, only the cap was Eric’s head. His innards squirted onto the ground as Lux’s tail tightened around him, and Eric knew no more. Again.

All of that loss, all of that defeat had led to tonight. This was Eric’s best monster design: a raptor with long and mantis-like arms. Light wings topped his back; not enough to let him fly but enough to give him a darting midair jump.

Unfortunately, by now the crowd was roaring for Lux. But Eric had plans to win them back. Hell, at the very least he’d get ‘Best in Show’.

‘Crusher’ had decided to choose a hybrid this time around, and he knew it’d pay off. Like hell he’d fall into one of Lux’s traps with something like this. The stadium’s makeshift doors slid open, and both opponents caught sight of one another.

Eric’s eyes widened as he saw the ankylosaur opposite him. Was Lux taunting him? The bastard was using the same form he used to beat Eric the first time they’d met!

Well, Lux had another thing coming. Eric glared at it, growling lowly. He’d gotten better at designing monsters since then. Lux would regret looking down on him.

Eric dashed forwards; then used his wings to shoot himself to the side. Lux tried to spin to face him, but was too slow. Eric beamed with pleasure, clacking his jaws even as he landed atop the ankylosaur’s back.

He sent a scything talon down, slicing through half of one of Lux’s tails. As predicted, it snapped the moment its load was released. The swing had too much momentum, letting it smack against Lux’s back plate, cracking it.

Hot blood poured from the ankylosaur’s back, and it hissed aloud in discomfort. Eric hissed with laughter, springing free of the beast’s shell even as Lux triggered his extending spines.

That was the problem with ‘tricks’ in Monster Wars: you couldn’t use the same ones twice. The scent of blood filled Eric’s nostrils, and he hissed aloud; preparing to go in for the kill. He kept his eyes on Lux’s remaining tail and bloody stump, prepared to kill his opponent from behind.

But as he drew closer a loud crack filled the air. Eric looked down in shock, seeing that the ‘severed’ half of Lux’s tail had managed to fire again, slamming into Eric’s right ankle. Moreover, even the ankylosaur’s ‘club’ tail was a ruse!

The ‘club’ must have been made of ultrathin bone. On impact, it shattered to reveal Lux’s real ace in the hole: a spiked mace. This had torn into Eric’s right ankle, almost severing it from his body.

Eric tried to take a step back, his useless foot dangling by a few strands of sinew. Instead, he amost fell onto the ground. For a brief moment, Eric felt panic. If he fell, he was as good as dead; he couldn’t end it like this!

Desperately, Eric beat his wings into motion, throwing himself away from Lux. He had to win, but how? He couldn’t win with maneuverability if he only had one leg! And speaking of, how in the hell had Lux crippled him?

Eric’s eyes met his answer a moment later. His ever-devious rival hadn’t truly lost his tail. No, it looked like Eric had managed to cut through all but a tough and rubbery muscle, capable of triggering the tail’s ‘loading’ and ‘firing’ mechanisms. Lux had even planned for the possibility of having his tail severed.

Eric scowled, balancing on his good leg. He could try charging Lux again, see where that would get him… But without both legs, it’d probably kill him.

He hissed his frustrations, beating his wings to the side as Lux charged him. All he had to do was keep to the missing tail’s side, and Lux couldn’t hit him. Eric nodded, landing on his good leg and wobbling slightly.

Lux charged again, and Eric took to the skies once more, ready to dodge again. Only this time, Lux twitched the stump of his partially-severed tail. He’d used the long cord of muscle like a rope, setting up a simple lasso. And while Eric could move one of his feet out of the way, his bad foot was caught in the little trap.

Eric rapidly beat his wings down, landing again on Lux’s bad side. Even if he was trapped; he just needed to avoid the tail. Eric hissed; then his eyes widened as he got a better look at the spikes dotting Lux’s shell. The first time he’d fought, they were like retractable claws.

This time, they were like a bundle of needles, shaped like a spike. No sooner had Eric made this observation then they fired out. The needles lanced through his left eye and cheek, and with a roaring hiss of frustration, Eric saw that if he wanted to remain on Lux’s bad side, he’d need to put Lux on his blind side.

His anger outweighed the odd prickling of the needles sticking from his eyeball; the wet rush of blood from his cheek. All Eric cared about was putting Lux in the ground for good. He hopped toward his opponent, keeping an eye on the tentacle-like cord around his ankle. Lux had lost a lot of blood so far, so this shouldn’t be too hard a win.

Then Lux swung his remaining tail in a low arc, cracking against the side of Eric’s gut. Unused to such a weak body, Eric simply crumpled and wondered how he could have missed such an obvious fact. Lux’s left tail hadn’t been tensed since Eric had severed its partner.

All Lux had to do was wait for Eric to get close and sloppy… Eric hissed again; trying to stick his scythed in the ground to stand.

Lux rewarded his efforts with a hard stomp that broke Eric’s remaining ribs and pulped his stomach. The ankylosaur drew closer, then shuddered. The crack along Lux’s back had grown deeper, and Eric’s heart hammered. Maybe getting Lux to attack himself was a good idea.

No, Lux wasn’t panicking. The act had to be intentional. The plates on the dinosaur’s back began to unfold, layer by layer peeling away. Eric glared up at Lux, his heard pounding with apprehension. Was it some sort of stinger? A feeding tube?

His eyes widened as a female form pulled out from the ankylosaur’s back, shaking out her hair with a small smile. She trailed a hand along her tail; fully merged with the beast from the waist down.

Eric managed to force some air into his collapsed lungs, croaking out a confused gasp.

The girl cleared her throat nervously. “Hi.” She croaked; then flushed and cleared her throat again. “Damn, that was a crap introduction wasn’t it? I’m Lucy.”

What? This was… Lux? The whole time he was being killed over and over by a beautiful woman? Not that there was anything wrong with that, but he’d expected Lux to be some gangly NEET!

She smiled shyly. “I’m… um… kind of your biggest fan. I’ve been trying to think of a good way to meet with you, and… Well… It kind of snowballed.” She pressed her fingertips together nervously.

Eric tried to force his reptilian head to arch an eyebrow.

It must have worked, because Lux giggled. “Yeah, sorry about that. But when I got in the ring, I just have so much fun. Every time, before I knew it you’re… Well…” She slammed her ankylosaur tail into the ground, mimicking the time she’d shattered Eric’s skull.

Eric gurgled again, forcing a little energy into his life to hear her out. At the very least, this was interesting. Even if it was a little insulting she thought him to be such easy prey.

“Anyways, I know you only have a few minutes left, but… I’ve been a huge fan of yours for… Well, before we first fought. I’m really sorry for beating you so much, and do you want to let me make it up with a date after this? Blink once for yes; twice for no.”

Maybe it was the blood loss getting to him, but seemed like a splendid offer. Slowly, Eric managed a single blink.

“Great! Oh, wow. I really hope that wasn’t a death spasm.” Lux—Lucy muttered, a genuine smile on her face. She knelt down, her human arms cupping around Eric’s fallen body. He could feel her warmth even through his thick skin, looking up into her eyes to see her beautiful face draw closer.

Then her teeth drew to pointed fangs; her jaw dislocated; and her eyes turned a blood-red. Eric’s last sight was her maw before she bit his head off.

Of course, she didn’t stop there. Eric could feel her taking bit after bite of his body; once more having to deal with the uncomfortable sensation of being split into dozens of tinier bits. He could hardly tell which part was which until part of him started to move away from a much smaller remainder. Evidently she’d had her fill…

Color returned to Eric’s world and he found himself inside a Venn Machine, next to the same gorgeous girl from before.

“Um… Hi again?” The girl waved shyly. She looked almost exactly the same; only this time, her lower half wasn’t an ankylosaur.

Plus her jaw wasn’t doing the whole ‘swallow you whole’ bit. Eric liked her better this way. “Lucy?” He said, offering a hand.

She shook it gratefully. “S-sorry about the eating you bit. I thought it was the fastest way to get us in the same Venn Machine.”

“Oh?” Eric smiled.

“Yeah.” Lucy blushed a little. “Because I checked with the tournament organizer, and they said that as long as nobody knew, you could copilot a body with me, get to know me. Otherwise we’d need to wait until after the tournament.”

Eric laughed. “I’d love to. But you know that you could just lose the next round, right?”

Lucy blinked, her face pulling into a cute frown. “What? And have Crusher lose to someone who couldn’t even become the champ? I’d never let your record down like that!”

Eric blinked in mild surprise, then grinned. “Well then, it’s a date. What do you have in mind?”

“You’ll see.” Lucy grinned.

Eric smiled, and Lucy grinned in response.