I sat on an uncomfortable stool, my chin resting on my propped-up hand on a wooden countertop in the middle of Common Goods Antiques. I sighed as I looked at my phone and scrolled through an endless series of tweets I had read before, glancing lightly at the time at the top of my phone. 6:50. Ten minutes till I closed the shop.

The last year had sucked, filed as it was by the long, slow, deterioration of my relationship with Valerie. Then, I had been fired, which initiated the final, terrible descent of that relationship. Two months in a haze of video games, job searching in this nothing town, and being angry at everything.

After the second month without a job, I admited to some amount of defeat and went back to talk to Royce at the antique store. Everyone knew everyone in town, and I had left three years ago with my bridges still intact. But that first day, I looked in the mirror and saw myself in the uniform I had thought I would never need to wear again. I nearly quit before started.

While I was going backwards, the antique shop hadn’t changed. At least half the junk on the shelves had been in the same spot from when I left here three years ago. The wooden floor had been painted once, but you could still see that Royce hadn’t moved any of the heavy shelves to do it. Every shelf was still piled to the roof with cast of junk sold to strangely amazed tourists.

The front bell rang, and I sighed, glancing at the clock. 6:55.

“Of course,” I muttered. I looked up to see a woman . . . or a girl, as I couldn’t guess her age very well. While there were 7,000 people in town and everyone knew everyone, at least by family name. But I didn’t know her. She had a young, almost childish face, but was dressed in a brilliant green housewife dress, practically out of a 1950s Penny’s catalog, and her red hair had been done in a similar fashion. And I should know. We had a whole shelf full of old fashion magazines and catalogs in the back.

She saw me and waved but said nothing else as she walked into the store and down into some aisles behind me, where we kept most of our furniture. I went back to trying to find distraction on the internet and decided to give her five minutes. Maybe she would leave on her own.

But, of course, that was not my fate. Seven o’clock rolled around and the many clocks chimed their bells. I got up to search for the woman, retracing her steps from the door, and found her lounging on one of the couches, her feet up while she read a trashy romance novel.

“Uh, ma’am, the store’s closed now.”

“Thank you for saying so, young man.” She said, but she didn’t get up or make any other move but turn a page.

“That means I need you to leave.” I said, a little more forcefully than before.

“Why?”

“So I can close the store for the night.”

“I thought the store was already closed.” She said, and I saw a little grin cross her mouth.

“I . . . ma’am, I can’t leave until I close the store, and I can’t close the store until you leave.”

She shrugged, “I can lock a door well enough. Leave me the keys and I’ll see to it.” The weird thing was, I reached into my jeans pocket to get the keychain. Then I shook my head.

“Ma’am, can you please close the book and leave?”

“There’s really no need to get testy,” she said, but I finally pulled her attention away from her book. She looked at me with deep, storm gray eyes that had a strange alighting spark in them. She took me in from head to foot with those eyes and gave me a weirding smile. I thought I was plain, all things considered. Short blond hair, a thin five o’clock shadow. I was tall, and thin, though I used to be skinny.

“Very well. Answer me these riddles three and I shall depart.”

“Look, lady, it’s late, and the store is already technically closed.” I said, rubbing my head.

“Young man,” she said, “What have you to do that you need to be gone from here so quickly? The night is young, and I desire to read some more.”

I didn’t have anything to do tonight, of course, but I knew I didn’t want to stay here. And I wasn’t going to tell her that. “Then read at home, the store is closed, and I’ve given you . . .”

“Why are tooth fairies so smart?” She asked.

“Ma’am, I’m not going to answer your silly questions.”

“Riddles, young man, and if you do not, then I will not deign to leave.”

“I can’t leave if you don’t leave,” I said.

That only made her light up more. “Then we shall have a grand night you will forget in the morning.” Then she frowned, “Or mayhap it a terrible night you will remember forever?”

I sighed and pinched my nose, thinking on the question she posed. Tooth fairy. Smart. I grimaced, “Is it because they collect wisdom teeth all night?” I said. I didn’t want to play her game, but I would. If only to shut her up.

She blinked and looked at me perplexed, then at my hand. “You’re not cheating on that damnable electronic parchment device?”

I pointed back to the counter, ten feet away, where my phone was sitting unused and untouched. “I am not.”

The woman sat up and set the book beside her, now that I was in her full attention. There was a fiendish look in her eyes and a competitive grin on her face.

“An easy riddle, in hindsight. Two more to go.” She tapped her chin, “I am black within, red without, and four corners roundabout.”

“You didn’t say anything about rhyming.” I said, but she replied with a shrug.

“I didn’t say anything about not rhyming.”

A took a longer moment to answer her question, working through all the red and black things I could think of. But the only answer that came to mind was, “A chimney.”

She kept her bright eyes fixed on me and continued.  “What has God never seen, that a king seldom sees, yet a man sees every day?”

That gave me a real pause. What could God never see that a man saw all the time. And how could a king, who was a man himself, only seldom see it? It couldn’t be actual sight, I concluded. If that was the case, then the thing God has never seen was, “An equal.”

The woman laughed a strangely triumphant laugh and jumped from the couch. “Three riddles asked, and three brilliantly answered. I am a woman of my word and will greet you goodbye. But, please, young man, indulge me this one last riddle. Answer rightly and I shall grant you a blessing. But I warn you, if you answer me wrongly and I may grant you a curse.”

“I . . .’m not sure.” To be honest, I was curious. Not so much if she would leave, but I truly wanted to know the riddle. And I couldn’t say much why.

“Excellent. Of flesh and blood sprung am I ever; but blood in me you will find never; many great lords bear me proudly; with sharp knives cutting me loudly.”

She looked up at me, her eyes and face all excitement. But then, lions could be excited about a successful hunt.

“Uh, so something made from an animal, but doesn’t have blood. And is cut by a knife. Cut, not sharpened?” I asked to an implacable face. “And great lords . . .” I closed my mouth and thought for a few seconds, “A pen. Or, a quill, specifically.”

Her face went stony still, just long enough that I wondered if I had gotten the riddle wrong. And then, like a game show host, she returned a smile, “Such a clever mortal, mayhap too clever, but you have done as I asked and so I shall leave, and a blessing, just as promised.”

But she gave me nothing, rather, just turned and walked toward the front door and the chill night outside. I watched her go and shook my head. At the very edge of the door, I thought I heard her hum a little tune, and then she was gone.

“What the fuuuuuck.” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “At least those stupid riddle books saved my ass.” I turned and walked back to the counter to get my phone. But there, beside it I saw something new. I saw a wand.