Ch. 2

Dylan's room happened to be where his two worlds collided in an almost unsettling manner. It was a bizarre hodgepodge of ambience: focusing crystals and creepy effigies gave way to football posters, protein powders, and fitness magazines that shared bookshelves with old dusty grimoires. I sat in a beanbag chair, which itself lay atop a glowing red pentagram engraved into the flooring, and watched with a strange anxious feeling as Dylan set himself to task. Ever since our little conversation I’d felt weird.

I figured ultimately it wasn’t that unusual to be feeling weird about the fact that I was about to have a magic spell cast on me that would make me girlier. That raised all kinds of questions, like for example, would it just make me look more feminine or would it actually turn me into a girl? Also, what would happen to all of my workout gains? I worked hard on those, was I going to have to lose them? If so, would I get them back when I stopped being feminine? How long did I plan to stay like that? How long would the spell last? Would it go away on its own or would I need to have Dylan dispel it for me, and also, would the transformation hurt and what if it somehow fucked with my head and made me not want to be a guy anymore and why the hell did the idea of being all girly not bother me even the slightest?

“Bro, you okay? You’re hyperventilating a little; you look like someone just shot at you or something, I dunno.” Dylan had glanced up from the spellbook he was poring over, and now peered down his nose at me through his round spectacles with a creased brow and slight frown. His dark eyes conveyed some emotion between uncertainty, worry, and begrudging acceptance of my request. He ran a hand through his short, sandy hair awkwardly. “Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, isn’t you not being as big and tough looking as some of the other guys constantly a concern of yours?”

“Well, yeah, but I’m willing to make sacrifices not to lose this relationship,” I replied.

“Haven’t you two only been a thing for like a month and a half? Seems like a pretty big life change for a relationship that new.” Dylan would have a point if things were different, but I couldn’t expect a successful guy like him to understand just how hard it was to get a girlfriend.

“Well, yeah, but this is important, okay? Besides, I won’t need to worry about looking more masculine than other guys if I’m a woman.” I tapped my temple and shot him a self-assured look.

“Wait, so do you actually want me to make you a woman or just more feminine? Cause I don’t think more feminine but still a guy will cut it if she’s really a lesbian. I mean, I can try to make you an actual girl too if that’s what you want.” He squinted at me a little in contemplation, then started quickly flipping through the pages of his book again to look for more possible solutions.

“I dunno, okay? Just, give me my options, I'll figure out all that later.” Why was I sweating so much? My heart rate swelled the moment he said he could actually make me a girl. Was that what I wanted? I mean, maybe, it made sense kind of. How else was I supposed to win over Olivia without Dylan making me an actual girl?

Seemingly satisfied for the time being, Dylan resumed flipping through his grimoire, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I couldn’t get the idea of being a woman out of my head. If I were to be honest with myself, it was impossible to deny the fact that being a woman was kind of always a secret fantasy of mine. Ever since puberty, I’d liked to imagine what it would be like to get to inhabit a girl’s body for a while.

Obviously it was just a fantasy, though. I mean it literally got me aroused, so it couldn’t be anything more than a fetish. I had a fetish for the idea of being a woman for a while and dressing up as one and going about my regular day to day life as one and finding a girlfriend and settling down in love with her as a woman. That was all totally normal; most guys probably thought similarly.

With a satisfied grunt, Dylan’s eyes rose to meet mine; he beckoned me forward expectantly, and I rose from the beanbag chair to meet him. He scooted over to make room for me next to him, and gestured toward the book. On the page was a series of scribbles and diagrams that were completely indecipherable to me. In fact, I was fairly certain it wasn’t even using the Latin alphabet, either that or the handwriting really was that atrocious.

“Dude, you know I can’t read your weird wizard runes, come on,” I complained, rolling my eyes.

“Oh, right, forgot. So, simply put, body changing spells are hard. I don’t feel great about not fucking up most of them; luckily I found a pretty safe, simple one here. Unfortunately that also acts as a limitation.” As he spoke he jabbed a meaty finger into the page, indicating the incantation in question as though that would somehow help me understand.

“Okay, so so what’s the limitation?” I asked.

“Well, basically it’s more of a healing spell than anything. It creates medicinal tablets with a template of what the body is supposed to be like when not injured or sick or whatever, then they create that body. Like for example, if you broke your arm we could put you without broken arm in here and it would give you a non broken arm. And basically, I can fuck with the spell a bit so instead of trying to give you your normal body, it tries to give you a woman’s body.” As he spoke, he thoughtfully pulled out a pen and paper, beginning to scribble some of the old magic language written on the book, crossing some things out, changing symbols until he nodded in satisfaction.

“That doesn’t sound like a limitation at all.” It was getting harder and harder to mask the anxious excitement in my tone.

“Well, hang on. There’s more you should know. Firstly, since we’re going against the spell’s intended purpose, it’s basically going to be constantly fighting with your body. Which, in short means the medicine isn’t going to fully change your body into a woman’s body, just feminize it quite a bit.” Did Dylan look apologetic? That was weird. He was really going above and beyond here.

“That’s fine, wasn’t really what I was expecting anyway.” I shrugged, gesturing for him to continue.

“Right, well, there’s another thing. You’ll need to take some of it every day to prevent the effects from dispelling. For simplicity's sake, I’ll make it a bunch of little pills. You just take one, it sets your body to the ‘feminine’ form for the day, and you go about your business,” he explained.

“Works for me; can we get on with it, then?”

“Geez, you sure are impatient. There’s one other thing you need to know -- don’t lose these. I don’t have enough reagents to cast this spell again and it’ll take me a while to find more, so like, I dunno, if you could buy me a few cases of beer as a thank you, that would be nice.” He gestured to his rather sparse ingredient cabinet for emphasis.

“Yeah, yeah, I can swing that, can we just get it done please?”

With a nod and a sigh, Dylan carried his book over to a little workstation setup in the corner of his bedroom. He placed an assortment of leaves, bones, and other things I’d rather not think about into a mortar and pestle, and began pounding them all together into a fine powder, whistling tunelessly as he went. After a few minutes there was a wave of his hand and a spark of golden light as he began chanting; the lights flickered off and on as more sparks flew from his hands, the room suddenly grew a lot colder, and then everything was back to normal. I shuddered. Magic was weird.

Dylan turned toward me; in his hand was a translucent orange container almost identical to what one might get from a pharmacy. He turned it over in his hand thoughtfully, listening to its contents rattle as he regarded his creation, before glancing upward and meeting my eyes.

“So this is it. Are you sure this is what you really want? I mean really think about it for a minute, bro. I know for certain that once you stop taking these pills the effects will reverse, but I can’t guarantee they’ll reverse one hundred percent. You might lose a couple inches of height, or some muscle, who knows? I mean, how  long do you even intend to keep this up for? What makes you think this is even going to actually convince Olivia to stay with you?” His gaze was intense, searching, as though he were expecting something in particular out of me.

“I -- I don’t know okay? Just give them to me. I need to try. I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t,” I sputtered, breaking eye contact. Something about the way he was looking at me was really uncomfortable, like he was peering right into the heart of me.

“Well, okay. I still don’t really get it. This sounds like it should be your worst nightmare; I sure as hell wouldn’t want it, but well, uh. You know if you ever need to talk about stuff or whatever I’m gonna be cool about it, right?” Dylan’s tone had grown a lot softer as he finally relented. I just shrugged a little.

“Uh, yeah? Thanks, I guess. I don’t really think I need to talk though, just need the pills.” I hoped judging by the awkward confusion in my voice Dylan would finally realize he was taking this whole thing way too seriously. I mean come on, why was being more feminine a big deal anyway? It sounded perfectly alright to me. And yeah, I guess it was kinda weird to be okay with that since I’d spent so much of my life trying to be as masculine as possible, but this was like breaking away from that entirely. With this I’d stop being someone people even expected that of. So obviously, that sounded pretty liberating. It did kinda make sense why Dylan wouldn’t get it, though. Guys like him had it all; they won all those dick waving contests, even if they weren’t trying to actually participate. So of course he’d be fine with it in comparison to a guy like me who was constantly playing catch-up.

“Well, alright, dude. These should last you long enough for me to get another batch of reagents. I’d suggest you set an alarm to take them every day. If you wait too long, the effects will start to reverse. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.” He handed me the pill bottle, which I snatched eagerly, fighting the urge to tear it open and take one then and there.

“Cool, thanks, bro! I’ll make sure to tell you how it goes!” I called, already scurrying out the door to head home.

Back in my room, I held the bottle in my hands, capable of doing little besides than simply stare at it. This was it. I could take these pills and then I’d be feminine enough to win back Olivia. But also, well, did I really know that was the case? What if she just wasn’t into me in general and me becoming more girly wouldn’t cut it? And also, was this really the best solution? Did I really want to become feminine just for some girl? Yes. Yes I did, obviously. Olivia was clearly worth it, after all.

And it’s not like I was giving up all that much. Sure, I’d worked pretty hard on my physique, but it hadn’t amounted to much. I wasn’t impressive as a guy at all. And yeah, Dylan always told me I was one of the strongest, best looking guys he knew, but that was probably just him talking me up for the sake of my self-esteem. No, this was definitely the better choice. I was obviously just not very good at being a manly man, so maybe I’d do better at being feminine. But also the idea of taking the pills was really scary. What if I hated it and I lost all my hard-earned progress? Even worse, what if I enjoyed it too much? I was about to cast the pills aside and forget the whole thing when my phone buzzed. I checked the notification and froze. Olivia had texted me.

“Hey babe, where did you go this morning? I got up to stretch my legs and make a phone call then when I came back in you were gone. Something wrong?” Ah shit, shit shit shit. Was she onto me? Did she know that I knew somehow? Okay, deep breaths, Theo, maybe this was actually a big misunderstanding. I hadn’t actually ever bothered sticking around to find out what was going on. I hurriedly typed a reply.

“Oh yeah sorry had a really bad hangover went to get some fresh air then wound up hanging out with Dylan. Blacked out last night. Didn’t even realize you were around otherwise I wouldn’t have ditched you.” She would buy that, right? It wasn’t even entirely untrue.

“You blacked out? I see. Do you think we could get dinner tonight? Had some stuff I wanted to talk with you about…” Oh shit. Oh fuck. She was totally going to break up with me if I didn’t do something about it. That was that. I needed to take one of the magic pills. I hurriedly typed a reply confirming a time with her, then tore open the bottle and downed a pill.

Ch. 3

I felt the pill take effectalmost immediately as a sense of extreme vertigo overtook me. I slumped backwards heavily onto my bed and clutched the sheets just to have something remain a constant as my vision blurred and shifted in waves of lurching dizziness. I tried to remain as still as possible, but even so, it seemed as though I was being hurled about on a tilt-a-whirl. Trying to ground myself further, I shut my eyes and curled into a little ball as sensations of pulling, pushing, constricting, and contracting overtook my body. I could feel it all over, my head, my hair, my arms and legs, my body and chest and pelvis. It wasn’t painful, it was just weird and itchy and uncomfortable. I thanked my lucky stars I’d gotten over my hangover by that point, otherwise I might have lost my lunch. That would have required me to have had lunch, but that was beside the point.

My daze was interrupted by the sound of cracking bones; my eyes flew open in shock, waiting for the pain to kick in, only it didn’t. Another series of pops and cracks rose from all across my body. In a daze, I slid my hand to inspect some of the pops at their source around my hips and instead got a handful of asscheek I wasn’t expecting in the slightest. I hugged my hands across my chest in shock, gripping my shoulders tightly and feeling a cushy, comfy softness pressing against my forearms. My skin was sticky and slick with sweat. Was it really that hot inside, or was my body just going through that much stress? I squeezed my eyes shut tightly once more, and hugged my pillow as I rode out the remainder of the storm.

I hardly even noticed when it was over, I was so used to the feeling of everything feeling upside down and inside out that I had just tried to tune the entire world out. Then out of nowhere, I realized the feeling had faded at some point, I wasn’t sure when. Cautiously, I opened my eyes. So it was done, right? The pill had taken effect? I didn’t feel that different. But then again, I hadn’t had the time to properly take stock of myself. I felt very conflicted sitting like that. I mean, I’d just gotten some mysterious feminine body! That had to be one of the top fantasies of any guy and here I was literally living it? I mean, how was I even supposed to start processing it? I felt such a weird mix of nerves and excited anticipation. To a certain extent, I didn’t even want to move lest I unwittingly reveal some new secret to my body before I was properly ready to take it all in.

I stayed frozen like that, contemplating what to do. I knew what I wanted to do. I really, really wanted to see what I looked like in a mirror. I mean, that was like a key scene in any fantasy like this, right? The guy with the transformed body runs to the mirror to see everything. But also the reveal had to be perfect and complete all at once to really properly get that payoff. But also it was super scary. What if I looked too girly? Or even worse, not girly enough? What if I saw my new feminine body and realized I hated it and had made a huge mistake? Could I deal with the reality of not actually liking myself in a new more feminine form? That sounded awful, it would completely ruin the fantasy! Also, if I hated my body it would make the whole “being girly to get Olivia to like me” thing entirely pointless. Forcefully, I shut those thoughts out of my mind.

This was a good thing, a cool new experience that all my guy friends would be super jealous of. I bet Dylan would totally get it when I told him how cool it was being transformed like this and he’d stop thinking it was weird and probably want to try it too. Then we could both be girls! Wait, no, that wasn’t right cause it’s not like I was actually a girl. I mean, even if my body had 100% changed, which would be really interesting if it had, I still wouldn't actually be a girl. Cause, y’know, it’s what’s on the inside that really counts.

I took a deep breath, mentally psyching myself up for the moment of truth. I was gonna do it. I was gonna go to the mirror and look at myself. It was gonna be fine, and interesting and cool and maybe even kind of fun I just… I had to make sure I did it right. So naturally, the best and only way to do it was to shut my eyes once again and move slowly and deliberately to not accidentally reveal any of my body’s new secrets before I got to see them all at once. I did just that, creeping across my room with eyes closed; luckily, I’d walked around in the dark plenty of times and knew how to navigate the place without my vision. I stopped at my best approximation of where the mirror was, took a deep breath, and opened my eyes. Oh. Well, that’s kind of disappointing.

It wasn’t nearly as dramatic as it had felt on the bed. Sure, I definitely looked different, but it was clearly me in the mirror. I was shorter, down from 6’1 to probably about 5’10, so realistically that was a pretty dramatic shift in height, but I was still way tall for a girl. My face was smoother and softer, with no traces of facial hair, but it was more androgynous than anything. My hair was more or less the same length, maybe a bit longer, but more importantly, now appeared closer to a stylish pixie cut. With an awkward, embarrassed curiosity I lifted up my shirt, which now hung loosely upon my diminished form. On my chest were a pair of conical shaped breast buds. They were probably barely an A-cup at best, but they were definitely boobs. I tentatively cupped one in my hand and gasped in shock at the sensation of the soft flesh yielding to my touch. I blushed and dropped my shirt. Too weird, too weird for sure, and also kind of nice. But I was a little disappointed they weren't bigger, cause obviously what guy doesn’t want to have their own pair of boobs to play with whenever they wanted to? And these ones were pretty small, so I couldn't really appreciate them as well as if they’d been proper handfuls.

My brain continued to spin out like that for several moments as it’s servos worked in high gear, trying to process everything I was looking at. It wasn’t just my face and my chest, either; it was everywhere. My waist had pulled in somewhat, giving way to slightly wider hips;, my legs seemed more shapely while my thighs looked thicker. My ass was definitely bigger. My arms and hands were definitely thinner and smaller, I’d lost a lot of muscle mass, though I was still definitely toned. Actually, I kind of liked how this level of muscle looked more than it did before. On my old body, I was just kind of bulky, but also obviously still inadequate. Now there really seemed to be no pretense of attempting that. I was just kind of cool and fit-looking. Honestly, though? I was still kind of disappointed.

I was expecting something way more dramatic. For one, I was pretty gender-ambiguous looking. I kinda resembled one of those popular, very online femboys who posted a lot of photos on social media. Not one of the racist ones, though. Would this be enough for Olivia? I was kind of hot, but also I was kind of hoping for more. It would have been cool to experience what it was like to live as someone else, whereas right now it seemed like I was just a more feminine version of myself. And yeah, admittedly that’s what I had asked for and was kind of expecting, but now that I was faced with the reality of it, I was kind of on the fence about it. Which wasn’t to say it wasn’t cool. I’d just thought maybe literal magic would be more dramatic, but this was what it was going to give me, huh? It was fine, I supposed. I yanked myself out of the moment, grounding myself in the problem at hand: I had to get Olivia to buy me as a more feminine person now without it being way too out of nowhere.

I sat on the bed, running long, thin fingers along a now smooth chin in thought. How would I actually sell this? That wasn’t something I’d really planned out. I’d kind of run headlong into this without actually considering the full consequences and implications, hadn’t I? Realistically, the best way to handle it would probably just be to tell Olivia I’d decided to experiment with a more feminine presentation. I could ask her to use my first name, Jesse, instead of my middle name, which would be a pretty easy change to make. Though I’d always told people that was a name I didn’t really like, in truth I just felt weird ‘cause it was a gender-neutral name. I’d need to justify it to Olivia probably, but I’d be able to find something.

I stood up again, crossing the room to my dresser, and sorting through some of my clothes. There was definitely some stuff I had which wouldn’t have fit me before the pills, since I’d owned them before I started working out a bunch. They’d still be a bit bigger on me, but they would probably show off my body changes a little bit. I fished a tight, stretchy sweater that would probably fit fairly snugly, along with a pair of skinny jeans I’d started to outgrow. They fit fairly well; the elastic nature of the sweater gave it a bit of stretching room to begin with, so its natural size was a bit small. The jeans were interesting, to say the least. My hips and ass seemed to have more or less stayed the same size, just gotten proportionally larger on my body, leaving them more or less fitting like a regular pair of jeans, if a little long. That was easily fixed by rolling up the leg, though.

I scrutinized myself in the mirror once more, deciding that the clothes didn’t fit too terribly, and even accentuated some of my new features just well enough to leave people guessing. Perhaps, deep down, this was the best option for me, after all. I certainly wouldn’t want Olivia or anyone else besides Dylan to know I’d actually used magic to make myself look more girly. I mean sure, logically this was my only option, but it was still pretty embarrassing to admit I’d actually sought out looking more girly. No, it was definitely best to convince Olivia, or anyone else who asked for that matter, that this was just me experimenting with a different form of presentation. I stared at myself for several more moments, processing the complex set of emotions that came with that reflection. It was simultaneously cool and weird and scary and exciting and kind of disappointing that this was as good as it was going to get.

With another deep breath, I tore myself away from the mirror and tried to just sit at my computer and kill the time doing homework or browsing the Internet. My body kept distracting me, though; I’d catch a glimpse of my smaller fingers, and feel my heart clench, or lightly brush against one of my nipples when shifting and blush, or my lengthened bangs would, from time to time, fall in front of my face. It was all a lot to take in. In spite of my own built-in distractions, time passed, and before I knew it my phone was buzzing to remind me it was time to head out. I huffed, mentally preparing myself for the awkwardness that would doubtlessly follow, and set off from my house toward Olivia’s place.

The walk didn’t take long, and before I was really, truly able to process the reality of the situation, I was standing before her front door. I awkwardly raised a dainty-looking hand to knock, then waited, fidgeting in place while I stewed in the anticipation. Fuck, this was such a stupid idea. Olivia was going to think I was super weird, and I was an absolute delusional fool for even thinking this would work. I mean honestly, why would I even think making myself a feminine guy would work as a means to woo a lesbian? Olivia was clearly into girls, not feminine guys. That was super obvious and something I kind of knew all along, so why did I even go through with this stupid plan anyway? Was there some other reason? Was I just looking for an excuse to -- The door swung open, to reveal Olivia smiling warmly at me as I blushed and stared at the ground, fidgeting with my somewhat loose sweater.

“Hey, oh, wow. You look different.” She seemed really genuinely happy to see me, especially like this. I saw a clear shift in her expression from shock to happiness as she took in my appearance change. So was that actually somehow a good sign?

“Yeah, I uh, I decided to explore my feminine side a little, y’know? Do you think you could call me by my first name instead of my middle name, by the way?” Despite my relief at seeing Olivia’s reaction, there was still a lot of trepidation in my voice. Olivia just smiled and nodded.

“Of course, Jesse. I’m happy to call you whatever you want. We can even try calling you something else if you want, sweetheart.” She reached out to take my hand, squeezing it comfortingly. I scratched my head in confusion. What a weird thing to say to someone; oh, well. She was just being nice and accepting. More importantly though, it seemed like she genuinely did dig my new appearance, which was great. I breathed a sigh of relief. I honestly couldn’t believe my plan worked. I could just be a feminine guy for her. Everything would be fine and back to normal in no time.