This story takes place as a series of journal entries chronicling Samuel's journey as he slowly transforms into 'she' and adjusts to her new life! (Part 1 of 3!)
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Read up to part 3 two months early on Patreon!
Part 2
Part 3
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Story Text:
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Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 1st, 2024
“Entry 1”
To be honest, I can’t believe I’m actually sitting here and typing this right now. After a week of feeling ill, I received the diagnosis from my doctor. Over the next few days, or even weeks, I will become unrecognizable. As of now, I feel numb. I can hardly believe this is happening to me and it still feels like a dream. My doctor suggested I write this journal to catalogue my ‘transience journey,’ so here I am. I don’t yet know the specifics of what I’m becoming, but I’ve lost a couple inches of height and my facial hair is thinning. All signs point to me becoming something I absolutely don’t want to be.
With that being said, I don’t get a choice. Whatever I’m becoming is something I’ll be living as for the rest of my existence. I keep getting cramps and aches all over, along with nausea and the distinct sensation of my insides quivering and churning. What am I becoming? Why am I losing muscle mass? I honestly have no idea and I’m scared to find out. I guess time will tell, and for now, I’ll just try to be thankful I’m not dying.
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 4th 2024
“Entry 2”
The last few days have not been what I’d describe as fun. I am assailed by strange dreams that I forget soon after waking up completely drenched in sweat. I think I’m starting to understand some facets of my transience, and the conclusions I’m drawing utterly horrify me. I’ve lost another inch or two of height, and my full beard has been reduced to a patchy goatee. On top of that, my pecs have become sensitive and swollen while my hips feel wider than they were before.
I know that such transformations aren’t impossible, but I never thought it would happen to me. I always envisioned becoming an elf, or even part ogre or something if I was ever afflicted with transience. Maybe I could become a cool wolf man and have enhanced senses; there were a ton of possibilities that had apparent advantages.
Instead, I’m shrinking and my voice is cracking. I don’t want to admit what I think might be happening. I feel numb and scared, with my family assuring me that they will love and support me no matter what I become
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 6th 2024
“Entry 3”
It’s really happening, just as I feared. I can’t live in denial any longer and pretend I’m becoming something I would have actually liked. I’ve lost another two inches of height and my pecs have swollen beyond the point of looking masculine in any way. When I stare into the mirror, I see a set of A cup tits and an androgynous face with a terrified expression. I no longer have any facial hair, with my chest and body hair also having fallen away. My voice is noticeably squeakier and my hips have a tendency to sway whenever I walk.
I spoke with my doctor and she made it clear that I’m likely becoming a girl. While such transformations due to transience are rare, they are absolutely not unheard of. What will change? How different will my life be? My identity is male-- I have happily lived my life as a man and now that’s being taken from me. I know that life will go on, and that there are far worse fates than changing sexes, but I’m still scared. What will my friends and family think? How will the estrogen and other hormones change me? I just don’t know.
I won’t get into the details, but using the bathroom has become a much more trying experience than it used to be. I have to tell my family soon, along with some others I regularly interact with. Imagining their awkward reactions and pity makes my heart sink and my skin crawl. I guess I can’t avoid it, can I? I can’t remember ever dreading something as much as this.
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 7th 2024
“Entry 4”
It’s really noticeable now. Whenever I speak, my voice cracks and climbs an octave or two. My waist is tight, my hips and ass are-- well. Yeah. You can imagine. I’m having strange dreams now; dreams I know to be related to my transience, but I forget them immediately upon waking. In these dreams, I think I’m a woman; I have a female body and feel beyond strange, but I can’t exactly verify if it’s true or not.
There’s a painful pressure beneath my navel, constantly throbbing and aching. My doctor said that it’s a result of my prostate reforming into a uterus, with all the other feminine innerworkings taking shape. Even typing this makes my blood run cold. To make things worse, my cock has shriveled to less than half its length, and it hangs limp in a position lower set on my pelvis than before.
I nearly panicked when I couldn’t find my testicles in their usual place, with my scrotum much tighter and more taut than it was previously. A few seconds of probing showed me they were still there-- just embedded high up in my groin. I feel no relief, though. It’s only a matter of time before they become my ovaries. I’ll have to piss sitting down and experience periods. Everyone will see me as a woman and the male version of Samuel will be dead.
Despite this, I strangely find a small part of me wishing for the process to be over. To wake up fully within my new, female body so I don’t have to worry any more. Life won’t be that bad, right? Over half the world’s population gets by without a dick and balls, so I shouldn’t worry myself nearly as much as I am. I keep telling myself this, but I’m still filled with anxiety. Will anything ever be normal again?
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 10th 2024
“Entry 5”
The transformation slowed over the last few days, with only marginal changes. This period of relative calm gave me time to reflect on my life and the transience that afflicts me. What will change when I’m a girl? I’ll have to piss while sitting, deal with periods, and people referring to me as ‘Miss’ or ‘Ma’am,’ but is it really so bad?
When I look in the mirror, I see someone trapped between sexes. An androgynous figure erring on the side of feminine, with nearly B cup breasts, wide hips, and shriveled genitals. I hate this inbetween state-- this period of flux between two states of being. I suppose that’s why they call this condition transience. I’m stuck in a brief transitionary period before entering my new, permanent form.
While browsing the internet, I noticed that my interests have changed. I was far too entranced by videos of cute animals, and found myself admiring women in cute clothes. Not in a sexual way, but-- well… It’s hard to explain. It’s almost like I can now envision myself as these women, dressing cutely with a confident smile. Would being a cute girl be so awful? What am I so scared of? It’s not like I’ve made a habit out of using my maleness to my advantage. Sure, it was nice being able to reach high shelves and carry heavy objects, but the core of my being isn’t dependent on having testicles, right?
I guess it’s the subtle mental changes hitting me the hardest. Feeling my interests and desires shift as estrogen rages through me. A year from now, how much of my male life will feel like a distant and unappealing dream? The thought that I’ll end up fully embracing my new existence to that degree is both comforting and terrifying. As you can probably tell, there’s more than a little bit on my mind.
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 12th 2024
“Entry 6”
Holy shit. It happened. I can’t believe I’m typing this right now. I have to keep going back to re-edit everything I type since these dainty fingers of mine feel so damned foreign. I had strange dreams and nausea all night while my body went through the final changes. I probably don’t have to tell you how bizarre it feels to have your scrotum split and reshape into labia. I felt every excrutiating, yet strangely pleasurable second of my vulva taking shape, with my vagina and new urethra opening amidst the warm folds.
My tits grew into the D cup range, and I now have a noticeable back curve to compliment my wide hips, tight waist, and plump ass. When I awakened in the morning, I laid in a state of shock and confusion, doing everything in my power not to move. Despite that, I felt the warm tingle between my legs, permeating the empty space that now lay nestled betwixt my thighs.
When I finally worked up the courage to stand, I had to contend with the strange gait I now walk with, resulting in a bit of a struggle for me to reach the bathroom.
I’m shocked to say I turned out quite gorgeous. My facial features are small, soft, and feminine, with lush chestnut brown hair and soft blue eyes. It didn’t take long to get turned on by the sight of myself.
There’s much to do and many appointments to catch up on, so I won’t waste too much time. In all honesty, I’m just glad that my sex change is over.
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 14th 2024
“Entry 6”
Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess. Yesterday, I went to multiple appointments. During my physical and gynecological exam, I got the apparently good news that I’m a healthy young woman who is fully capable of getting pregnant. The papsmear was mildly traumatic and I never thought I’d ever experience such sensations within my own body.
I decided to participate in some self-exploration and am now starting to see some advantages to this new body of mine. I didn’t realize just how much more intensely women experience sexual pleasure than men. I won’t get into too many specific details, but the lack of refractory period is extraordinary. After each clitoral orgasm, I could just keep going until my clit was too sensitive to touch any longer. Next time I plan on experimenting with penetration; I’ve only explored the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the wonders of womanhood, it would seem.
My good friend, Amy, is taking me clothes shopping tomorrow. I’m not sure how to feel about it, but I know it’s not something I can avoid.
Samuel’s Transience Journey
Feb 15th 2024
“Entry 7”
I can’t keep smiling. Aren’t I supposed to be more upset by these changes? Like I was a few days ago? Amy took me shopping and it was actually a lot of fun. Women can wear so many more types of clothing than men can, and I genuinely looked amazing in everything. Dresses, skirts, pants, shorts, cute blouses, etcetera. I felt like my own dress-up doll and found it hard to believe that such a cute girl could be me every time I glanced at the mirror.
I ate desserts and got to coo at animals at a petting zoo without anyone batting an eye. Apparently it’s endearing when women fawn over cute things and act so emotive. I have so much energy, and having to sit while peeing feels like such a minor inconvenience at worst. Now that I carry a purse, I’m impressed with how much I can store and bring with me. Sure, girl pockets suck and all that, but I couldn’t carry a bag like this around as a man.
I got a new haircut and reluctantly learned how to apply makeup. I was hesitant to try, but was convinced after Amy dolled me up and forced me to look at myself.
Now that I’m home and chilling by myself, I can’t stop feeling giddy. I can feel myself up and masturbate whenever I please, and I have a living, gorgeous dress-up doll at my disposal twenty-four seven. Sure there will be plenty to work through in therapy, but being female comes with a ton of perks I never considered.
Tomorrow I will meet with my family and show them the new me. I’m pretty nervous, but coming from a family with only brothers and no sisters, I’m sure mom and dad won’t be too upset by having one of their four children turn female.
It’s bed time now, so I’ll post another update later.