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When all was said and done, Savannah turned Chris toward the mirror once more, a soft smile on her face. “What do you think?” She asked warmly.
Chris stared into the mirror, her eyes widening. That haircut-- her bangs… Everything framed her face perfectly, and the light makeup Savannah applied helped to further highlight and accentuate her feminine characteristics. Honestly, she was stunned by how gorgeous she turned out. “Oh, wow…” She touched her cheek, feeling her body heat up as her heart fluttered. Her large, high-set fox ears complimented the hairstyle well, and it was impossible not to feel a little vain when appreciating the work that had gone into all of this.
“I take that as a good sign,” Savannah said softly, offering a gentle smile. “I don’t usually do this, but I'm sending you home with some makeup and a few hair care products at no extra charge. Just promise you’ll come back to me when you need touch ups in the future, okay?”
“Yes, of course,” Chris agreed with a nod. “You’ve earned a repeat customer for sure… I kinda assumed I’d avoid feminine hair care routines and whatnot, but, well--,” she paused briefly and fidgeted as she tried to find the words. “This is-- nice, I guess? I feel happy in a way I can’t describe,” she confessed.
“There’s nothing wrong with liking how you look,” Savannah promised. “You’re a girl now, right? I’m sure it feels good to find a style that suits you so nicely; the fact you’re happy just means you’ve come a long way towards accepting who you are.”
“I have?” Chris muttered, placing a hand on her cheek as she considered that statement. It was undeniable that she had come quite a lot way. Her sense of vanity screamed for her to be happy-- to enjoy looking so cute and to be thankful she turned out so nicely when there are no guarantees with transience. “Maybe you’re right… All this girl stuff isn’t too awful,” she conceded. “Everyone has been extremely supportive.”
“The times are changing. It’s impossible to say who might undergo transience and when. If one wishes to be treated well during their own fight with transience, they know they need to be supportive of others as well,”
“Makes sense to me,” Chris agreed. Upon standing, she briefly examined herself in the mirror. With those thigh-highs, shorts, new haircut, and makeup, she barely recognized the man she once was. It was more like he didn’t exist any longer-- physically, at least. By any objective measure, the fox girl in the mirror was undeniably adorable. “Thank you, again. I was nervous before we started,” Chris gently admitted.
Savannah tilted her head, eyeing her curiously. “I was the nervous one here… I couldn’t afford a slip up working on such a gorgeous specimen,” she said innocently.
Chris’s cheeks flushed and she looked away. “You don’t need to word it like that,” she muttered as her ears folded against her head.
Carrie gushed over Chris’s new look all the way back to the fox girl’s home. Chris let her in for a while so they could sit and talk. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to make some more female friends until now, but it was nice. Throughout their conversations, a realization slowly dawned on her. She no longer felt as if she was hanging out with the ‘opposite sex’, so to speak. The person chatting with her shared the same chromosomes and reproductive organs; they were both women.
Chris had never been awkward in front of women, but there would have been an undeniable tension hanging out alone with a girl like this; with Gretchen, said tension often led to sexual encounters. While she did find Carrie appealing, she felt very comfortable in her presence. They were a pair of women sharing each other’s company and that very sense of comfort made her feel weird. It didn’t make sense for her to feel simultaneously at ease and confused, but nothing about transience made sense to begin with.
“I have to know… About your sexuality,” Carrie pressed while taking a sip of her beer. “You mentioned still being attracted to that Gretchen girl, but is that all?” She pushed. “I’ve heard that people who undergo sex changes during transience end up with their sexuality altered. I’m sure that can’t be easy,” she mused.
Chris saw the faint rosiness of Carrie’s cheeks. The alcohol must have diminished her social filters to an extent. She shifted a bit and averted her eyes toward the ground. “Err, well…” She paused to gather her thoughts. “It’s certainly been confusing and strange.”
Carrie nodded. “I have a close trans friend who explained something to me about her experience. Apparently, when someone who is trans starts transitioning and taking hormones, they may become more comfortable with their true self, and are better able to embrace facets of their sexuality that were always there, but likely buried by layers of shame and confusion-- or something like that,” she continued. “But, transience is a completely different beast. You’re changed down to your very DNA-- your brain structure and everything else changes as if you were born with two X chromosomes. No one is sure what dictates sexuality, but transience isn’t exactly something someone chooses, and it can impact their desires in ways they might not have wanted.”
Chris grew flustered as she pushed her legs together and folded her hands in her lap. “It’s hard, I guess,” she muttered. “I definitely still find women attractive-- sexually, I mean.” Thoughts of Rodrick crept into her mind. She recalled his overwhelming musk on the day she stopped that sonic boom. How confused her thoughts and physical reactions had become. Despite logically knowing that it wouldn’t be bad or inappropriate for her sexuaity to shift, she still felt a sense of shame and humiliation at the prospect. Straight men were conditioned to solely find women attractive, and despite being biologically female, the idea of liking men came with a certain lack of autonomy she wasn’t fond of.
Carrie softened, pulling one of her legs up as she eyed Chris carefully. “Are you into men now as well?... Is there a guy you like? If this is too much, we can change the topic,” she promised.
What could Chris say? This wasn’t something she felt comfortable speaking to Gretchen with, but maybe it would be okay doing so with someone outside her normal social circle. “I-- I know there’s not really anyone you could tell that could get back to me, but do you promise nothing we talk about will ever leave my apartment walls? You can’t share this with anyone-- even people I’m likely to never meet.”
“Of course, I promise,” Carrie nodded, pulling her other leg up as she wrapped her arms around her legs and looked toward Chris eagerly.
“I’m serious,” Chris continued. “I don’t think I could ever speak to you again if you spoke a word of this,” she sternly insisted, glancing around nervously as if some unseen person might be eavesdropping.
“I would never betray your trust, but you also don’t have to talk to me about this. I’m more than fine with changing the topic if you’d prefer,” Carrie promised, offering a sympathetic smile.
“N-- no, it’s okay… It’s hard to keep everything in,” Chris confessed, feeling desperate to unleash her emotions to someone other than her therapist. “I guess I-- well… There’s an old friend of mine named Rodrick,” she started.
Carrie nodded, listening attentively.
“I guess, just in this last week, I-- ugh…” She scratched her head in frustration, trying to gather her thoughts. “He started to smell good… And I started noticing his masculine characteristics in a-- positive way, I guess? Like, I recognize his masculine traits as being distinctly opposite of my own, but in a way that’s appealing.”
“Aww…” Carrie muttered beore catching herself. “Is he a good friend?”
Chris’s cheeks reddened further. “An incredible friend. Even after I went through transience, he’s been great. We were hanging out, chatting and laughing like old times… He doesn’t ignore that I changed, but he doesn’t treat me differently for it.” She took a slow breath before continuing. “His mannerisms and behavior changed a bit around me. I can tell he keeps a closer eye on me-- I think he’s more protective over me and he admitted he thinks I look amazing when I pushed for his thoughts. I think it might just be the female with male friend dynamic that’s new to me and I’m confusing it for something else. Please tell me I’m overthinking things,” she groaned, placing her face in her hands as the memory of Rodrick’s scent clung to her thoughts. “I get all light and fluttery when he’s around, too.”
Carrie laughed weakly. “That could be it. I’m not sure how honest or blunt you want me to be with you, though.”
“Please don’t sugarcoat things,” Chris sighed, already knowing what she thought.
“I think you find him attractive. You’re not used to being attracted and infatuated by masculinity, so it’s hard to sort through these new feelings… I know I feel much the same as you described when I start crushing on a guy.”
“Fuuuuuuck,” Chris groaned, pulling back from her hands while shaking her head. “I don’t want to crush on guys, dammit. Can’t I just be a lesbian and leave it at that? Sure, I want to start a family at some point, but I could always just adopt,” she mused out loud, unsure of how to handle the torrent of confused emotions that swirled within her. As a quick thought experiment, she envisioned Rodrick holding her hand-- cuddling with her on the couch, letting her rest her head on his shoulder during a movie. Instead of repulsion or disinterest, her heart skipped a beat and a warm, tingly sensation permeated her chest and core, resulting in a slight tingle within her loins.
“Would it really be so bad?” Carrie asked.
Chris fidgeted some more, twiddling her fingers. “I-- I thought I reconciled some of this during therapy, but it’s still weird,” she admitted. “I just feel like it’s something I shouldn’t want.”
“Maybe you’re overthinking things,” Carrie insisted. “You’re one of a select few who get to experience life from both sides. Why not explore this attraction toward men and see where it goes? If you end up not liking it, you can stop. If it feels good, then-- well, it’s good to feel good. You can just let yourself be happy.”
Chris snorted. “You sound like my therapist.”
“Hehe,” Carrie grinned, playfully flashing a peace sign. “One thing I can say for is that sex with the right guy feels fucking great,” she insisted. “When he understands foreplay-- when he can read my body language and truly wants to blow my mind. Feeling his strength on top of me while he fills me and we enter a perfect rhythm-- ahhh…” She blushed, placing her hands on her cheeks. “I could never be a lesbian-- and I couldn’t imagine being a man. I wouldn’t trade the female sexual experience for anything.”
The aching and pang of emptiness between Chris’s legs intensified as Carrie spoke. She imagined Rodrick’s strong hands assisting her with foreplay while he read her body language. She briefly caught herself envisioning what it might feel like to be filled and the image sent a surge of adrenaline through her lithe, feminine frame. “Shit-- shit…” She murmured while shaking her head. “I’m bisexual, aren’t I?... This isn’t what I wanted,” she whined, unable to deny how appealing Carrie’s description of bedding with a male was.
“Ahhhh…” Rodrick moaned as his hand deftly pumped his erect cock. When his climax hit, he briefly picked up the pace and bathed in the pure euphoria that overwhelmed him while spurts of hot, sticky semen sprayed onto his chest and abdomen-- something he’d clean up after enjoying the afterglow.
While he enjoyed his masturbatory session, he felt great shame at the recurring fantasy that refused to stop haunting him. The image of Chris’s perfect, nude form as the fox girl moaned and pleasured herself. He recalled how womanly her sounds were, and how tantalizing the feminine, musky scent wafting from her room had been. The very thought was enough to cause his manhood to writhe in anticipation. From the glimpse he got, he recalled how lovely the shape of her womanhood was; how perfectly crafted her nude form was in every way.
He only looked for a second before the shock wore off and he quickly departed the scene, having no plan of violating her privacy, but it was too late. He had never seen anyone as beautiful as her, and she lived rent-free in his head.
Unable to resist, he grabbed his phone from the nightstand and formulated a text, sending it to her dear friend.
~~~
“Hey, Chris! We should hang out again soon. We can try that new ramen place and maybe see that new anime movie showing as a limited release; I know we talked about it a few months ago. I think Gretchen’s busy all week, so it would just be us if you want to hang out tomorrow or maybe the next day… Let me know! Hope you’re well.”
~~~
After he sent the text, he blinked and realized what he had done without thinking it through. Why was he so desperate to see her again? To hang out with her one on one? Dinner and a movie didn’t sound too much like a date, did it? DId he want it to be a date? Would Chris see it that way? What would CHris think if she knew how hard he was crushing on her now? ‘She’s probably a lesbian-- what the hell is wrong with me?’ He asked himself, shaking his head as he sighed in frustration.
“Oh my gosh! A date! He wants to take you on a date!” Carrie cooed after Chris described the text she received.
“W-- What? No!” Chris cried out, putting her hands out in protest. “We hang out sometimes and we’ve talked about this movie before. Guys see movies sometimes!” She insisted, growing more flustered by the second.
Carrie puffed her cheeks out and pouted. “Sounds like a date to me… Do you want it to be a date?”
“Shut up,” Chris grunted, dropping her phone onto the couch as she crossed her arms. Did she? When had life gotten so confusing? What would Rodrick think of her new haircut and her makeup? Wait-- makeup washed off in the shower. Without thinking clearly and lost in thought, she asked, “You think you could teach me to apply makeup?”
“Ahhhh… Want to be able to put some on for your date?” Carrie teased.
“Shut it!” Chris cried in protest, her tail swishing and thumping against the couch vigorously. She was in for a very long, difficult week.
CHAPTER END
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