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An icy cold pang of pure dread washed through Chris's body, his heart racing as he stared, stupefied, at his pathetic cock. The body hair on his chest and legs was falling off, shedding all over his bed as if he were a dog losing its winter coat. "No-- I-- I don't want this…" He choked, his voice cracking.

Gretchen stared at Chris with a mixed look of sympathy and horror. "Chris… I-- 'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"

Chris shrugged off Gretchen's hand as she attempted to place a hand on his shoulder. "No-- it's not your fault; I just-- fuck!" He growled, feeling deeply humiliated as he stood up and staggered toward his bathroom. Upon entering, he slammed the door behind him and sat on the toilet, placing his hands over his face. I knew this would happen, but-- god dammit. How am I supposed to accept this? He had to tell his family about this. His friends and loved ones. Everywhere he went, people would call him Miss and Ma'am. Soon enough, estrogen would be coursing through his body and fundamentally changing who he was as a person. Sure, he could get surgery and testosterone treatment, but beyond the difficulties such a path would typically bring, transience would make that more difficult. He knew that bodies became heavily resistant to further change after undergoing transience. Doctors didn't understand it yet, but it was true.

He recalled a case study where a woman who became a dark elf attempted to get her ears altered to a round shape along with having her skin lightened. Her skin and ears were corrected by some unknown mechanism within a couple of weeks. He hadn't looked explicitly into attempts at transitioning after male-to-female transience, but he doubted the outlook was positive.

"Chris. Please. Are you okay?" Gretchen's worried voice called from the other side of the door.

Chris took a few slow, deep breaths while rubbing his temple. Am I okay? He wanted to snarkily retort but knew Grethen didn't deserve to be treated poorly. She was being supportive and doing her best. "None of this is your fault, but no. How could I be okay?" He asked in a low voice, gritting his teeth. "I'm not going to hurt myself or do anything stupid, so you don't need to worry about that. But, yeah-- I'm not feeling particularly good about this," he said in a dull voice. Sweat beaded from his body as he pulled his hands away and apprehensively looked down. What used to be pecs now resembled budding breasts. He wasn't sure if they were quite an A-cup yet, but there was nothing male about them. His nipples had thickened, taking on a rosy pink color. Beyond that, his chest hair was gone. Altogether, he was sure he looked more androgynous in appearance. Likely as if he had been on estrogen for a little while.

"I understand. I know you won't do anything stupid, but I still want to help," cautiously replied Gretchen. "I--" She briefly hesitated, "I've been learning to use a type of magic. Why don't you get dressed and meet me in your living room?"

Magic? Chris wasn't aware that Gretchen was learning some form of magic. His immediate anger and fear subsided a little, the adrenaline dying down. Honestly, he was curious to see what she could do. Self-loathing isn't going to fix me. My dick will disappear no matter what; I already knew that. He grunted, wincing as he let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, okay. Give me five minutes."

A couple of minutes later, Chris got up and left the bathroom. With Gretchen waiting in his living room, he had a bit of privacy to get dressed. He pulled out some boxers and a tee shirt, grimacing as he readied himself. When he moved, he felt his hips and butt move strangely; compared to an hour ago, even just walking felt different. "God fucking dammit," he grunted, sliding his hands down his side,s and resting them on his hips. Just as he feared, his waist tapered inward more than usual before reaching his hips, which expanded outward into a somewhat feminine shape. He reached toward his rear end, feeling his ass and lower back. There was definitely a bit of a curve there. None of these female attributes were too overly pronounced, but he absolutely noticed.

He took a deep gulp, knowing what he had to do next. He walked to the body-length mirror, closing his eyes tightly as a wellspring of anxiety and existential dread built within him. Calm your ass down. Stop being so weak, he told himself, trying to wrestle his emotions under control. Finally, he opened his eyes again and stared at his reflection.

If he had to guess, he was only five-foot-six or seven now. The squared features of his face were still there, but they had definitely softened. All facial hair was gone, his lips were fuller, and his chin looked smaller. His body's faint, feminine shape combined with his more pronounced hips, shriveled genitalia, and the bumps on his chest made him look noticeably less masculine. He felt like he was still slightly more on the side of male than female, but maybe that was just one of the stages of grief talking. "Fucking hell…" He raised his arms, taking in how much thinner they looked. His thick muscles had melted away to a noticeable degree, though they were still more muscular than Gretchen's. He didn't want to admit it, but he was starting to think he was halfway through the initial male-to-female change.

A sudden pulse below his navel caught him off-guard. "Ahh!" He cried, placing a hand over his abdomen as he trembled. What is it now? He lamented, feeling his insides throb and grow tense. He stood and turned away from the mirror, cursing his situation as he pulled on his shirt. The best course of action was to get dressed and try to get his mind off of the bullshit-sundae life served him for dessert. He lifted one of his legs and slipped it into the leg hole of his boxers. After putting his other leg in, he pulled them up. When they reached his ass, he winced, needing to stretch them and pull them over his more pronounced butt-bump. Once the boxers snapped into place, he quickly noticed they felt tighter than usual. They hugged his backside and thighs in a way they didn't previously.

While contemplating the severity of his changes, the truth he had been actively trying to suppress crept to the surface of his mind. That mounting ball of tension above his waistline could only be one thing, right? His prostate growing and expanding into what would soon be his new womb. Inevitably, that meant his boxers fit more like they would on an actual woman. Memories of Gretchen strutting around in his boxers quickly flooded his brain. He always admired how sexy she looked in his clothing; how her supple ass and his filled out his shorts in a way no man ever could. "Fuck-- I don't want that to be me," he growled, sitting on the edge of his bed as he placed a hand over his face. It was sexy on Gretchen, but he did not want to fill out boxer shorts like she did. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself everything would be okay, it was impossible to grasp the true gravity of his transience.

"If you take too long, I'll drag you out!" Gretchen's voice playfully called from the living room, cutting off Chris's negative thought train.

"I'll be out in a second!" Chris responded, quickly standing as he pulled on a baggy pair of jeans. He then grabbed a lightweight gray hoodie and slipped it over his body, wanting to hide himself as much as possible. With that, he took a deep breath and left the room.

Gretchen grinned, hopping to her feet. "I want to show you what I can do! Come over to me," she beckoned, gesturing with her hand.

Chris hesitated before nodding his head. He felt incredibly self-conscious having Gretchen see him in this form. He was only a few inches taller than her now when he used to have at least a head on her. There was no sign of judgment in her eyes, which he was grateful for. "Yeah, alright. Show me whatever this new magic is," he insisted, walking over to her.

Gretchen nodded, reaching out as she placed a hand on Chris's shoulder. She then closed her eyes and started to silently mouth some words.

Before Chris could question Gretchen further, a faint white glow came from her hand and enveloped him. He didn't feel any different after the light bathed him, but he gasped in surprise. "W-- What are you doing?" He stammered.

"Apparently, I have an aptitude for illusion magic. Look at your arms and listen to your voice," Gretchen insisted with a warm smile.

Chris raised an eyebrow. "Illusion ma--" after hearing that his voice returned to normal, his eyes widened in surprise. He raised his arms, seeing a good amount of muscle, just as they existed a few days prior. "Wait, what?" He knew she said illusion magic, but he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement as adrenaline coursed through his body.

"I can only do this for a few hours at a time, and, like I said, it's just an illusion. Physically, nothing has actually changed. I'm the only one who can see through it, but if we go out, everyone will see this illusion I made," Gretchen responded, observing Chris's expression.

Chris took a deep breath. So, this was just a kindness that let Chris pretend his life wasn't about to drastically and irreparably change. A pang of sadness slowly washed through him as it mixed with gratitude toward Gretchen. Nothing would ever be the same, but she still looked at him with the same kindness and warmth. I wonder what Rodrick will think of this, he briefly mused before shaking his head. "Yeah, alright… We can go out. What did you have in mind?" He asked in a low voice, moving his fingers over his arm. Despite the appearance of muscle, he vividly felt how small his arms were when touching them.

"Have you already eaten?" Gretchen responded.

"Yeah, not particularly hungry. Especially after the drink, you bought me."

"Well then," Gretchen continued. "Let me be a little selfish. I need to get some new clothes, and I need you to tell me what looks cute. It's been a year since I made you do that, so I think it's about time," she grinned, giving Chris a sly look. "Then, either you can pick something, or I'll take us to do something I know you love."

Chris sighed. It was true that he hadn't taken Gretchen clothes shopping in a while. She enjoyed getting his input on what did and didn't look good on her, though he was biased since he thought she looked good in just about anything. "Yeah, yeah, I guess I can do that for you. Let's go, then." He grabbed his phone and shoved it into his pocket without a second thought.

"Yay, I win!" Gretchen leaned up and kissed Chris on the cheek. "I'll drive. Don't fight me on that, by the way," she insisted before leaving.

Chris wasn't in the right mental state to drive right now. He was afraid of daydreaming or getting caught in a state of lamentation and being unable to properly focus on the road. "I'm more than happy to have a chauffeur today," he sighed, walking out behind her.

Chris got into the passenger seat and buckled himself in, resting his head back as he closed his eyes and let out a breath of decompression.

"If you don't want to talk much, that's fine. I'll be bothering the hell out of you when we're looking at clothes," Gretchen promised with a laugh.

Chris snorted, smirking slightly as he shook his head. "I know that's not just a threat. I'm going to check my phone for a few minutes." With that, he pulled his phone out, starting to browse as the car started and took off. He quickly noticed a series of missed calls from Dr. Rowena. His heart rate immediately picked up, wincing as a layer of cold sweat covered his body. Hands trembling, he opened his email, seeing one from the doctor as expected.

Deep breath; it's okay. You know Dr. Rowena can get overly excited, he insisted, trying to psyche himself up. He hesitated for another moment before opening the email and reading it over. As he got further into the message, his blood ran cold. It all made sense now; why did he ignore his phone like that!? He put his phone face-down on his knee, placing a hand over his face as he took slow breaths. It was his own fucking fault that his transformation sped up. His time as a man was already limited, and now he had even less time left to stand while pissing.

Gretchen soon noticed how solemn her companion became, turning a concerned look toward him while they waited at a red light. "Hey, did something else happen? Or are you just processing things?" It was hard to tell if he had just discovered something awful or if he was cycling through the stages of grief.

“Dr. Rowena-- she…” Chris hesitated, wishing he had another Xanax on him to take. "She said that sexual release and stimulation can speed up my transformation. If we didn't fuck, this wouldn't have happened," he grunted.

"Chris, I--," Gretchen started to talk and then bit her lip, thinking her words over carefully. She pulled into a gas station parking lot and stopped the car to speak. "Chris, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed for us to do anything. This is my fault," she weakly responded, a look of pure guilt spreading across her face.

Chris looked over at Gretchen and immediately felt bad. "No, no… This is in NO way your fault, okay? Neither of us knew it would happen, and I obviously had a good time. I just-- I'm mad at myself, not you," he growled, putting both hands over his face. "I don't want to be a fucking girl. I already had to lose my dick and balls, and now it will happen faster than I expected. I just-- fuck…” He slowly shook his head back and forth, sitting in silence for a moment as the quiet whirr of the air conditioning filled the car. "I know it's going to happen soon, no matter what, but I still feel frustrated!" He didn't mean to raise his voice, but it was almost too much to bear.

Gretchen momentarily paused, her eyes drifting to the corner as she thought. After a few seconds, she leaned over and grabbed Chris's arm, resting her head against his shoulder. "Sweetheart… I am going to be with you every step of the way. I want to have a conversation you don't want to hear, but I think it might be important."

Chris hated these types of conversations. He recalled those 'you need to hear this" conversations he had with his family in the past and wasn't a fan. He felt a pang of anger, but it quickly subsided. Gretchen was someone he trusted, especially when it came to mental health. "Fuck… Fine-- okay, what is it?" He murmured in response.

"Chris…" Gretchen started, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. "I won't pretend to understand how hard this is. I haven't had to change sexes, and I know I would be having a rough time if I found out I was going to be a man in a week or two. I enjoy being a woman," she started, resting her free hand on Chris's knee. "But, there's nothing we can do to stop this. Soon you will be female, but that doesn't mean your life will be over."

Chris's heart pounded, his ears nearly ringing as Gretchen spoke. He opened his mouth to say something, but a lump caught in his throat.

"We can still spend time together and have sex. We can still laugh, watch movies and play video games. You work a technical job from your home office, which you will still be able to perform after you become a woman. All the books you read, anime you watch, comics and manga you read… None of this will be taken from you," Gretchen promised, giving Chris's knee a squeeze. "Not only that but your health issues will be washed away, won't they? I'm sure Dr. Rowena already told you, but transience usually leads to a fresh lease on life. What did she tell you about that? I want to know. She told you some benefits, right?"

Chris's mind raced a million miles per hour as he slowly processed every word Gretchen uttered. Tears streamed from his face as a tiny pinpoint of hope manifested within him. She had a point, right? He could still do those things. And there were going to be some bonuses to enjoy-- right? He was desperate to convince himself. "Dr… Dr. Rowena said my health issues would likely vanish," he muttered. I" ll most likely be physically ten years younger as well…"

"See??" Gretchen said in a reassuring tone. "Yeah, you're going to be a woman. And some type of demi-human. But you will have more energy to enjoy life. You'll gain ten years of youth and be healthier than you've been in years, right? So, not only will you be able to do all of the same things-- outside of using a urinal, that you did previously, but you'll be younger, healthier, and have more energy to enjoy life! I know this is scary, but you're not dying."

Chris's eyes widened as he listened to Gretchen's speech. He had been so caught up in his own head while wallowing in despair that he couldn't see any of the positives. It was true that he would still be able to do all of his favorite things, and it was also true that he would have more opportunities to explore life in a body that was healthier and filled with more energy. He did not want to lose his cock, but she was right. He wasn't dying. It wasn't like Dr. Rowena told him he had one month to live.

"You know I'm right, huh? Well, I'm always right, so that's not a surprise," Gretchen giggled teasingly.

Chris let out a weak laugh of his own. "God dammit… You're definitely not always right, but you're right about everything you just said," he sighed, opening his eyes as he stared out the window.

"Besides," Gretchen purred. "I know this is bad of me to say, but I" m kind of excited. I genuinely believe you're going to be adorable. Once I know your new sizes, I will love playing dress up with the new Chris. I'm already a sucker for cute girls, and if we put your personality and soul into the body of a pretty girl, I might just grow even more obsessed with you, darling," Gretchen mischievously cooed, leaning up as she nipped his neck.

"H-- Hey! Cut it out. I'm not going to be some dress-up doll for your perverse fetishes," Chris insisted, unable to stay mad. His lips were curled into a smile at this point. Somehow, Gretchen could talk about his impending life as a woman without him feeling like he would have an existential crisis.

"Okaaaay! I'll calm down; I'm sorry," Gretchen pouted with a cheek puff. Her visage grew more severe as she momentarily turned her head away. "There's-- umm… One more thing," she sheepishly added.

"Just tell me. I promise I won't freak out," Chris promised.

"Sexual release speeds up the transformation, right?" She quietly asked.

Chris wasn't sure if he liked where this was going but simply nodded. "Yeah. That's the gist of it, I think."

Gretchen turned to face Chris one more. "Now, this is completely your decision. I am fine with whatever you choose, but I wanted to put an option out there for you." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and turning to face him. "I've done a lot of research on transience for my own knowledge. I know that the in-between stages of transitioning are often the worst. When you're not quite the person you used to be, but also not yet in the body you'll be inhabiting for the rest of your life. If you decide you want to speedrun this transformation and jump head first into the deep end, I'd gladly be the one who brings you there," Gretchen said reassuringly, reaching over to squeeze Chris's hand.

Chris paused, taking in this new information. He hadn't thought about that. If he lets Gretchen pleasure him, he might be able to get through the male-to-female bit of his transformation more quickly. He thought about the androgynous figure he saw in the mirror earlier and how upsetting it was to see his body in such a state. Would it be easier to see a complete woman in the mirror instead of whatever that was? This was a lot to think about. "Thank you. I will actually think about that," Chris promised. He was grateful for Gretchen and felt she was the only thing keeping him sane.

Chris stood outside the dressing room, waiting for Gretchen to step out. He couldn't stop thinking about their conversation in the car just thirty minutes ago. Life would go on. He could still do all the same things he loved. He would be healthier and younger. And, on top of that, Gretchen could help him rush through the transformation if he wished her to. Still, though. That creeping sense of dread and uncertainty welled within him. He liked being male. What would his family and friends think? Rodrick went through severe transience himself, so he would probably be understanding.

Gretchen stepped out of the dressing room in a beautiful white sundress. The skirt portion flared out at the hips, and the top hung off her shoulders, exposing her soft, glossy skin. "Ta-dah! What do you think?" She asked. "I'm wearing a strapless bra today. I really like the off-the-shoulder look. What do you think?" She asked with a bright smile.

Chris opened his mouth to tell her how beautiful she looked but paused as a wave of memories crashed over him. He recalled snippets of the odd dream he had overnight. He had been standing in an entirely female body while Dr. Rowena talked to him about his new anatomy and what it would mean to be female. In the dream, he ended up in a white sundress, much like the one Gretchen was wearing now. He vividly recalled the feeling of Dr. Rowena's hands sliding over his hips and ass, forcing him to take in the sensations of his female form. He remembered looking down at himself, seeing how soft and pale his chest and shoulders looked and how perfectly his breasts filled out that dress.

Why am I thinking about this now? Chris lamented, breaking out into a sweat as his heart rate picked up. Looking at Gretchen, he couldn't stop thinking about himself as a woman wearing that same dress. It fit him so nicely in that dream, didn't it? If those dreams were genuinely prophetic, he would end up with an adorable feminine form that would perfectly fill out a dress.

"Chris?" Gretchen asked with a voice of concern. "Are you okay?"

He looked at Gretchen as if she were a mirror, and he was looking at a reflection of his future. The fact he would likely be able to fill out a sundress as nicely as her in another few days terrified and fascinated him in ways he couldn't describe. What the hell is wrong with me? He cursed himself, the tension below his navel throbbing and intensifying.

In a month from now, would he be walking around in dresses like that? He'd have a fully formed pussy, a uterus embedded deep within him. All semblance of Chris's former physical form would be gone. Despite Gretchen's pep talk, he felt fear. Would he lose himself? Would he become a different person? What would happen to his ego and identity? Would the female hormones change him beyond recognition? All he knew for sure was that he needed to follow up with Dr. Rowena and look into the psychiatrist she recommended. There were some issues above even Gretchen's pay grade.

CHAPTER END

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