Link and Midna stood before the throne of the rightful ruler of the Palace of Twilight, currently held by its un-rightful ruler Zant, mortally wounded and driven into a corner. Although he had lost his dignity in the fight against him, screeching and stamping his feet in a violent tantrum, he had fallen at the hands of the two, and now sought to reassert himself one last time before his inevitable death, revealing the source of his power, Ganondorf.

“Already he has descended and been reborn in this world…” Zant laughed between ragged breaths. “As long as my master, Ganon, survives, he will resurrect me without cease!”

“Like he’d revive such a useless servant!” Midna yelled back with a vengeful smile on her face. It didn’t matter how he had nearly killed her and Link several times, as long as she got back at him now she’d have the catharsis she had craved for so long.  “And if he’s stupid enough to bring you back, we’ll just kill you again next time, as many times as it takes! Or maybe we’ll just kill him first!”

Zant looked offended by the very idea, but quickly returned to his usual smugness.

“Of course, I can’t return to my master with nothing to offer but failure.” He seemed to agree, letting out one last cackle. “You were nothing in the form I gave you, princess! That Hylian you brought shall be the same!”

Before Midna could assemble the Fused Shadow and harness her power to impale him, or Link could draw the Master Sword to finish him off, Zant began to glow with a radiant twilight. Link instinctively moved to grab his shield, but it was too late, and Zant simply exploded, his wild laughter’s echo fading as the hero of Hyrule was bathed in cursed magic. It seeped into his skin, a similar feeling to when he had entered the Twilight Realm for the first time and gained his cursed wolf form. Midna, for better or worse, didn’t notice a difference, living with this sensation every day.

“That piece of…” Midna gnashed her teeth, denied her final revenge. “Of course he took the coward’s way out! Well, it turned out he was just some stooge anyway.”



Midna laughed bitterly, a sound deep with frustration as the object of her revenge was finally gone.

“Well, it sounds like we have bigger problems than that, now that it turns out he’s this Ganon’s stooge. I knew he couldn’t do anything this big on his own.” Midna turned things around to business as usual, trying to return to her usual confident tone of voice. Normally she would have brooded over it for much longer, had Zant not left them with one last surprise. “Let’s get back to work and get out of here… Hey, Link? You feeling okay?”

“I think… I think he did something to me.” Link said, sounding strangely out of it. “It feels different than last time…”

She turned to see her stoic companion unusually woozy, swaying on his feet. She was instantly concerned, having spent enough time travelling together to forget her own frustrations and scan over him for any wounds. Her huge eyes widened at what she found instead of any blood, her mouth falling open as she stared at Link’s face, the top half stained with a familiar dark greyness as if somebody had thrown paint on him. His gloved hand, looking strangely loose, rose and touched his ear. While as a Hylian it was naturally long and pointy, this was different. He could fit his whole hand around it, having grown longer, wider, and stuck out straight from the head rather than a natural human angle. It was also the same black-grey, and his tunic seemed to slump on his shoulders as he felt it. From the nose down his pink flesh faded to grey, and between blinks his bright blue rises turned a deep red, the whites of his eyes turning yellow, just like Midna’s.

His glove slipped from his arm entirely, the straps around his forearm unable to be held in place by the now baggy sleeves. Link stared down at his bare hands, his fingernails turning pointed and darkening to grey with almost glowing green highlights. Beyond that it was like looking at a child’s hands, far too small and delicate to be the calloused workman’s hands he was used to. Midna stared down at her own, finding them to be an almost perfect match save for the size, and even then Link’s seemed to be rapidly shrinking to correct that.

“Midna?” Link asked, sounding drained and weak. “I don’t think he’s just trying to force me into my wolf form again, is there anything we can do?”

Link had been visibly shrinking the whole time, and was almost a head smaller than when he started, his heavy chainmail and tunic falling on much narrower shoulders, looking more like a dress that dangled well past his hips to his knees. He awkwardly stumbled out of his boots, pulling out tiny feet that slid out of his socks and hit the palace’s stone floor unsteadily and awkwardly. Link’s hood hit the floor, pushed off not by his lengthening hair, but because it seemed to now be too small for his head, his cranium expanding as his head became disproportionately large relative to his slender shoulders.

“Midna, say something!” Link cried, his voice rapidly rising in pitch. He looked over at Midna staring helplessly at him, clearly knowing exactly what he was turning into. Link had his suspicions at this point, but was in no position to do anything about it other than get these now painfully heavy clothes off of him.

By the time Link began to undress, Midna staring with her mouth agape as she was overwhelmed by the realisation of what was happening to him, Link was half his usual height, looking distinctly girly as he threw off his tunic, chainmail, and after a little hesitation, the final shirt underneath. No bigger than a child, he had delicate, narrow shoulders turned black like Midna's, forming a vest pattern around his chest with a light streak down the middle. His nipples faded but his chest seemed to puff out a little, forming a feminine curve that alluded to broad hips yet hidden by his desperate attempts to hold up his pants with his tiny arms. Finding them unusually heavy and slowly straining his dainty arms, Link gave up on it, letting them hit the floor and expose his rapidly widening hips, one black, one light grey, his ass cheeks turning round and puffing up until his midsection dominated his frame. He put his hands on his hips and felt them get pushed apart until his hips were wider than his shoulder, although barely wider than his oversized head, his mostly masculine face mismatched with his obviously feminine proportions.

Link’s grey cheeks flushed with a little red as he braced for exposing himself to the world, only for nothing to flop out as he abandoned his pants. His hands traced his swollen thighs inward, those red cheeks going completely pale as he, or now she, found nothing between them. It was obvious looking at them that they had almost nothing masculine left about them besides their face, and even that seemed to be rapidly softening. Her legs continued shortening until they were awkwardly stubby, Link taking a step forward and nearly falling over, her tiny arms flailing as he failed to balance his new proportions and the weight of his oversized head. Things were made worse by her belly bloating up, turning plump and rotund like Midna’s. The distended weight of her new pot-belly threw off her centre of gravity even more, and it was all she could do but yelp and try to avoid falling down on it.

Her wide-open mouth exposed long, fang-like canines, her lips getting softer as he pressed them together upon recovering. her long, pointy nose began to flatten and shrink inwards into a cute, tiny button nose, while her eyes became huge and round, fitting the enlarged proportions. Her sharp cheeks softened and rounded out, completing her new feminine appearance, although if one looked past the painted skin and feminised head, one could make out some of Link’s original appearance. It was helped by her hair remaining mostly the same at the front save for her bangs growing out a little with their usual sandy brown colour, but the back was a different story. Her hair had grown out into a long ponytail-shaped mass, fading to a deep green and a pointy tip that was reminiscent of her trademark hood.

Dazed and confused by her sudden transformation and new body, Link finally lost her balance and fell backwards, her fall softened by her big butt and pile of clothes. With the transformation complete Midna seemed to regain her senses, clenching her teeth as she became absolutely furious.

“Zant, that bastard!” She yelled, balling her fists together in frustrated helplessness. “He’s cursed you the same way he did to me!”

She could do nothing but point out the obvious as Link came to terms with her new body, awkwardly rising to her feet as she tried to deal with her stubby limbs. She looked up at Midna, used to doing so in her wolf form, but it was a much stranger experience when they were roughly the same height. Seeing Midna so distraught, she began to relax, settling into a familiar pose that she had seen Midna in so many times.

“Well, this isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” She said cooly and calmly in her new high-pitched voice, Midna freezing in shock as she watched Link slouch slightly, her pot belly thrust out as her pear-shaped figure was emphasised. Link ran her hands up her body, flexing her almost clawed fingers experimentally. “When I saw my arm change, I was worried I might be turning into one of the twilight beasts we saw earlier.”

“How is this any better!?” Midna shouted at her, rushing towards Link and grabbing her by the shoulders. “He’s turned you into this tiny ugly thing, just like me! All that work, just to end up how I started!”

“I never thought you were ugly, you know.” Link said calmly. Midna stiffened, turning her head away to hide her expression.

“You should have said so earlier, idiot.” She awkwardly stood turned away for a moment, then snapped back around. “But this isn’t about looks, you know! There’s a reason why I went looking for a meathead like you to defeat Zant! One of me was bad enough, I don’t see how two are going to help!”

“You’re already pretty strong as you are, aren’t you?” Link pointed out, remembering her help leaping huge distances, taking out hordes in a single series of strikes, and the simple brute strength of the hand she formed out of what usually seemed like hair. Link attempted to clench her ponytail together to do the same, only to see no response. She supposed she wouldn’t learn how to use an extra limb right away…

“I had all the time in the world to get used to this.” Midna shot back, flexing her hair with ease. “And on top of that, I was quite good with magic to begin with. No offence, but I don’t expect an amateur like you to be a natural! For all we know you might never get the hang of it no matter how long you’re stuck in that form!”

“Who says I’m stuck in this form anyway?” Link stubbornly resisted her pessimism. The two imps were standing face to face, Link finding it a surreal experience. “Maybe I could switch to my wolf form, then back to human from there.”

“Oh, you think it’ll be that easy, huh? Let’s find out.” Midna said cynically, but was eager to eat her own words as she produced the twilight fragment that allowed freely changing between human and wolf. She tapped it against him, the mere touch usually enough to trigger the transformation, only for the two to stand there awkwardly.

“See? Cursed means cursed.” Midna scowled as she put the now worthless fragment away. “There’s no easy way out of this. I thought killing Zant would be enough to undo it, but now we have to take out that master of his if we have any chance of putting us back the way we ought to be.”

“Still, I made the most out of being a wolf.” Link stuck to her guns. “And I’m still at least humanoid. Between this and flying, there’s a chance I could still fight the way I always did.”

Link optimistically dug the Master Sword out of her pile of clothes and drew it from its scabbard, and the difficulty that took should have been enough to make it clear how bad of an idea it was, her hands barely wrapped around half of the grip, but Link tried to raise it just the same, grunting as her arms wobbled and buckled just trying to lift it up to a ninety degree angle.

“Link, put that thing down, you’re not going to-” Midna sighed before letting out a girly shriek as Link swung it with all her force, a limp swing by human standards that just barely kept itself off the ground, but was quite dangerous towards those less than three feet tall. Midna dove for cover, helmet clattering against the ground as she cowered, more terrified of her companion than she had been of Zant.

“Put it down, put it down!” She begged, Link barely able to swing it a second time before it slipped out of her hands and flew a few feet, Link left standing there stiff as a statue with her tiny arms outstretched.

“I should probably try swinging it with my hair next time…” She laughed awkwardly while Midna glared at her.

“Got any other bright ideas, genius?” She glowered at him, it starting to sink into Link how dire their situation was. He had assumed that Midna was simply clumsy and untrained when she had unsuccessfully used the Ordon sword and had given up too easily, but now it seemed that she had wielded it with far more grace than Link just had.

“Perhaps with some training…” Link suggested and was swiftly cut off.

“We don’t have time for you to start from the ground up!” Midna clenched her fists. “Ganon will probably make his move now and he’s probably far more powerful than Zant ever was, and what if Zant really does come back? I couldn’t defeat him, and there’s no way you can either!”

“Just calm down, we’ll figure it out.” Link said, her calm smile wavering. “For now, let’s see what we can figure out.”

The two began to go through Link’s inventory, Link digging through her pockets and pouches while Midna materialised her items that were too large or numerous to store on Link’s person. Bombs, arrows, and various trinkets fell to the floor with a thunk or clatter, and they sifted through them together.

Some were immediately worthless, like the bow and arrow. With Link’s stubby proportions there was no way she could use it properly, it was almost as tall as she was. The hookshot was worthless, as Link was already getting the hang of floating, trying it out on Midna’s suggestion. She was excited to achieve flight, but knew it was of limited use once she had to actually fight somebody. Bombs were clearly effective, but there were only so many she could drop on enemies before she ran out. Link suggested that Midna could twirl the ball and chain around with her hair, but she seemed less than enthusiastic now that she had the Fused Shadow.

“Okay, what’s left…” Midna rummaged through the pile, brushing aside the Gale Boomerang and lantern to find Link’s bottles. Milk wasn’t going to help, and neither was any regular red potion, but didn’t they have something else? There was a flash of purple from the scattered jars, Midna’s eyes lighting up as she remembered.

“Aha! I had forgotten all about this thing!” Midna said excitedly, Link looking over from counting how many bombs they had left and if they could still go to a store in this form to see Midna triumphantly holding up a bottle with a mysterious purple fluid in it.

“Ah!” Link pointed at it, remembering it as well, Midna’s familiar devilish smile plastered over her face.

“Thank the goddesses we saved this thing!” She said, holding in her hands a bottle of Great Fairy’s Tears, the reward Link had received for conquering the Cave of Ordeals. The Great Fairy they had met at the end had told him that it would heal all wounds and instil the drinker with great power, although Midna had remarked at the time that if Link could get through that cave in the first place, he probably didn’t need any more muscle.

“I was saving it for an emergency.” Link mentioned, impressed at how big the bottle was at her current size.



“Well, what could be a bigger emergency than now?” Midna reasoned. “Do you think being cursed to turn into an imp counts as a wound?”

“She didn’t say anything about curses, let’s not get our hopes up too high.” Link shook the bottle a bit, watching the glittery liquid slosh around. “Still, I agree that this is probably our best shot.”



“It can’t possibly hurt, right? We’ve got other potions if you get hurt.” Midna said optimistically. “Come on, let’s try it! What’s the worst that could happen?”

Link gulped nervously, having no idea what it would actually do, suddenly wishing she had asked the Great Fairy a few questions about it at the time. She popped the cork, and was about to drink it down in one go when Midna grabbed her arm.

“Hold on, let me have a sip first.” She snatched it out of her hands, taking a preliminary sniff of it. “Even if it doesn’t break the curse, I deserve a power-up too, right?”

Link nodded, knowing she was going to need Midna more than ever from now on.



“Just don’t have more than half of it, okay?” She warned her, watching Midna grin and gulp it down, stopping just at the halfway mark and wiping her lips.

“Tastes better than I thought.” She smiled, handing it back. “Maybe we should go back for more?”

Link shuddered at the thought of having to do the cave again in her enfeebled state, throwing her head back and draining the bottle in one go. There was almost more of it than she expected, with now relatively large the bottle was compared to her, more than enough for both of them to get a full dose. Link had expected it to be salty based on the tears part, but it was rather fruity, all things considered. She took a deep breath and put the bottle down, standing back from her belongings.

“Well?” Midna asked apprehensively. “Feeling stronger yet?”



“I don’t know.” Link admitted. Wouldn’t Midna be the first to tell, since she drank first? “How about you?”

“Nothing yet.”



At the time, the two would have agreed that it was reasonable to expect that the tears, intended for light-dwellers, to work the same as on Twili. The idea that it might have unpredictable results was the furthest thing from their minds.

“Ooh, here it comes!” Midna said excitedly, feeling a strange sensation building in her. Something that made her feel lighthearted, almost elated. “There’s this swelling in my chest!”

She stood tall and proud at her tiny height, Link staring at her with her big eyes for any sign of a change, eventually noticing something that was indeed rapidly changing about her.



“I think your chest is swelling!” She pointed directly at the middle of Midna, whose eyes slowly drifted downwards and her thoughts took a decidedly different turn. Namely, to breasts. Breasts had been a privilege she had enjoyed as a princess, and had been largely revoked when she had been transformed into an impish creature. There was just barely enough left to make it clear that she was a woman, but the modest yet full chest she’d possessed had been stripped from her. But now, looking down at herself, she felt the same as she had back in those days, only now she was shorter.

“What the hell!?” Midna exclaimed, cupping her new breasts in her tiny hands, just barely able to contain them. She was about to express more confusion when she paused. “Oh! Oh, oh, oh!”

“What is it?” Link asked, blushing slightly as he watched Midna’s boobs slowly but surely expand, spreading her fingers apart and pushing her palms outward.

“Behold, Link! The first sign of my original form!” Midna said proudly, placing her hands on her hips and thrusting her now rather large chest out, her boobs round and shapely, enough that even a full-sized Hylian could cop a handful and feel satisfied. “”Tis a rather odd place to start, to be sure, but it seems the time of my return has come!”

Link stood dumbfounded by Midna’s proclamation.

“But you aren’t any taller.” She pointed out dumbly, so distracted by Midna’s chest that she didn’t notice that her own wasn’t so slight anymore.

“I will be soon, give me a minute!” Midna said defensively, leaning forward as her breasts sagged slightly under gravity. Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was, to regain something once lost!

“Midna, something feels off. I don’t feel any stronger, but I don’t feel exactly the same either.” Link said anxiously, feeling a certain weight in her own chest, but Midna didn’t hear it at all, too excited by her bold assumption.

“In just a moment you’ll see what you’ve been missing out on, Link. ” Midna said, starting to feel a little giggly. Her hands, placed on her already wide hips, were getting further apart, while Link felt her thighs rubbing together, shifting her stance considerably wider to avoid it. “Before my curse, I was known as the greatest beauty in all the Twilight Realm! I won’t be needing this anymore!”

“Something’s really off, Midna! I feel funny!” Link exclaimed as Midna removed her stone helmet and cast it aside, proudly baring the face she once so eagerly obscured, surprising Link enough that she did look at Midna as she requested. True to her word, she did look more beautiful than usual, although not in a way that made her any less impish. Her eyelashes seemed longer and thicker, and her lips seemed plump and kissable. Her eyes, usually fierce, seemed a little rounder and friendlier than before, but still, she was an imp.

“Oh, shut up!” Midna said irritably, pouting at Link with her puffier lips. “Just sit back and bathe in my beauty, okay? You’ll be back to normal soon too!”

“I don’t feel normal, Midna!” Link moaned, feeling her thighs rub together yet again. She felt something expanding in the back, clutching her already sizable butt. She was certain it was getting bigger, overflowing and dwarfing her hands! When she looked back at Midna, who was currently thrusting her very curvy hips outward, she was sure that she could see her ass getting bigger too!

“Well you should soon!” Midna said, her breasts now big enough that a human hand would have struggled to wrap its fingers around them. They were huge, round, and surprisingly perky despite their size, almost twice as big as they had actually been when Midna wasn’t an imp. Midna pointed at Link, the green pattern on her fingertip starting to glow pink instead. “See? Your boobs are getting bigger, too!”

Link looked down, gasping as her eyelashes lengthened and made her look even more shocked. She grabbed her similarly huge boobs, letting out another small gasp at how sensitive they were when she squeezed her new flesh.



“Midna, I don’t normally have boobs!” Link pointed out, Midna staring vacantly at her for a second, then looking like she was snapping out of a trance.

“Wait, you’re right, guys don’t have boobs!” Midna foolishly pointed out the obvious, then realised that she really wasn’t getting any taller, but she was certainly getting wider. “And I’m not turning back to normal either! I’m getting big, but I’m not getting bigger!”



“The tears are doing something to us!” Link said, starting to feel light-headed.

“Of course they are, you dummy!” Midna yelled back, waving her hands for emphasis, her chest wobbling as she leaned forward, and her ass wobbling as well from the motion. For a moment it seemed like her breasts might form a perfect hourglass with her hips, when her ass, used to being the defining appeal of her figure, started to make a comeback. Midna and Link almost stumbled as their asses blew up like balloons, hips surging almost a foot past their shoulders into an absurd pear-shape that was complemented by thighs so juicy and thick they couldn’t help but rub together and wobble with each step. You could have balanced a tray on their bubble butts, big enough on their own that their cheeks seemed as big as the entire rest of her torso, particularly when you could see that from behind, without increasingly huge dangling boobs blocking your view, that their waists had shrunk inwards, creating a delicate appearance despite their bulging proportions.

“Midna, what’s happening!?” Link asked, her voice going up another octave as her bangs grew out, obscuring one of her eyes as they turned from sandy brown to sandy blonde. The pink on Midna’s fingers spread down her up to her body, the neon lines turning bright pink as the ones on her legs matched. Link’s shifted as well, the two a perfectly curvy pair.

“How should I know!?” Midna snapped at her, the two groping themselves, feeling themselves up as their hands traced the curves of their body in disbelief. Midna groaned, her breasts so sensitive and heavy as they rapidly approached the size of a human had. “What does this have to do with getting stronger?”

“I don’t know, but…” Link said, her own chest filling out just as much. Link was about to express more concern, say that they never should have drunk those tears, when a switch flipped in her mind. A cup that had been filling suddenly overflowed, and the pink lines on her body glowed as the last green was snuffed up. A cuff appeared around her ankle, reminiscent of her wolf form, now a cute anklet accessory. Link smiled, looking rather airheaded as her lips, thicker than a thumb, curled into a confident smile. “But this is great! I feel so sexy!”

“What!?” Midna exclaimed. “Are you crazy!? You look like a…”



Midna paused as well, her own green fading in favour of pink. Her eyes glazed over, and when her focus returned, those same eyes were vacant and glossy. “...total bombshell!”

The two stopped panicking, their cries turning instead to the occasional muffled moan of pleasure as they felt themselves up, getting a good feel for how huge their hips were, how bountiful their boobs were, and they only had to take a few steps forward or sit down to get an appreciation for their massive asses.



“Like, what were we freaking out over, again?” Link asked, having gotten distracted by her own curves. She felt like she was on top of the world, giggly and cheerful. “We were, like, changing ‘cuz of that potion thingy, and then you were like, uh…”

“Telling you how beautiful and sexy I am.” Midna reminded her, feeling light-headed and ecstatic. “Oh, I mean how sexier I was getting. You’re totes sexy too, by the way.”

“No way, you’re sexier!” Link giggled, Midna giggling in return at the flattery. Her hips were thrust out in a sexy pose emphasising the junk in her trunk, wishing she had an audience.

“Not just sexier.” Midna reminded her. “We’re like, super strong now!”



“Are we?” Link questioned, feeling up one of her boobs with one hand, the other hand squeezing her ass. She caressed the flesh, feeling like she would never run out of it, and thinking to herself that it’d feel even better for somebody else to cop a feel, squeeze it, and then finally…

“Like, ‘course we are! That’s the whole reason why we drank it, dummy!” Midna reminded her, slapping Link’s huge imp ass and sending ripples across the mewling sexpot’s flesh. “I feel great, we’re def stronger now!”

“I do feel, like, really good right now…” Link murmured. She was distracted by how plump and soft Midna’s lips were, and how good it’d feel if she pressed her own pillowy lips against them.

“Yep! We’re, like, totally way stronger, I can feel it!” Midna said, the rush going straight to her head.

“I get that we’re, like, more powerful and stuff, but why’d it, like, make us sexier too?” Link asked an obvious question, pouting as she tried to puzzle it out with her meagre brainpower. Midna put a finger on her lip, thinking about it for a while before something resembling a spark fizzled in her mind.

“Because the bigger we are, the more magic is in us, obviously!” Midna smiled, proud of her explanation.

“Ooh, that makes perfect sense! You’re so smart, Midna!” Link clapped, in awe of Midna’s mighty intellect.



“Of course I am!” Midna’s swollen head swelled further. “And there’s, like, no time to waste! We’re gonna go take Ganon down, no problem!”

“Yeah!” Link cheered, boobs jiggling as she thrust her hand into the air, Midna putting the Master Sword away in her magical inventory and leaving the rest of the obviously useless items. Link was so excited that she gave into her impulsive desire as she leaned in and kissed Midna right on the lips, just as soft as she had hoped.  Their boobs squished against each other as the two locked lips and held it, muffled sounds of pleasure coming from them as they enjoyed their mutual sexiness, Midna reaching out and groping Link’s ass just to make her kissing more passionate. Midna totally understood it, she’d want to make out with herself too. After almost a minute of kissing and feeling each other up the two parted, giggling at each other and heading out.  The two felt great, fantastic even, like they could do anything. What could possibly go wrong?

–

“Like… how’d we lose?” Midna asked the world as she and Link laid groaning on the red carpet in front of the Hylian throne face-first in their own cleavage, Midna’s hair-hand reaching out before falling limply to the ground. Link was propped up by her boobs a little more, struggling to her feet before falling back on her squishy ass, then slumping backwards with an exhausted, battered groan. The Master Sword was off somewhere to the side, having been easily slapped out of her feeble hands. They had smashed their way in with the Fused Shadow, then simply flown right up to the throne room, bypassing any monsters. In their bubbleheaded states they had challenged Ganondorf, who had defeated them within seconds. Link had been barely able to carry the Master Sword any better than before imbibing the tears, and been reduced to a twitching heap by Ganondorf’s energy blasts. Midna had charged in with the Fused Shadow, but had zero coordination with it and had simply bowled herself over before being dismantled by Ganondorf’s calculated strikes, her power overwhelmed in its clumsy, unfocused state.

“The two of you imbeciles never stood a chance.” Laughed Zelda as she floated gracefully to the ground, or rather Zelda as possessed by Ganondorf, who had turned the once-proud princess into his plaything by inhabiting her body to fight the foolish hero who had dared to oppose him. Truth be told, he thought as he looked down at the princess’s slender body and humble bust, feeling a little second-hand inadequacy compared to the marshmallows in front of him, this generation’s Link had been far more pathetic than he had expected. First the hero had shown up in the form of a cursed imp, a parting gift from his servant Zant, then had given off some vapid babble about defeating him in a tone of voice that reminded him of some of the more boy-crazy Gerudo teenagers. He wasn’t quite sure how they had ended up as shortstacks either, but he wasn’t complaining.

Taking the form of Zelda had meant to be an insult and grind away their morale, but morale seemed to be about the only thing the imps had going for them, so it seemed rather pointless now. He had expected the fight to drag on much longer, starting with them forcing him out of Zelda’s body before the battle escalated. He gazed down at Zelda’s delicate arms, already starting to feel a sense of ownership. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to stay in Zelda’s body a bit longer? Left to her own devices, Zelda might get some foolish ideas about opposing him again, and if Ganondorf assumed Zelda’s identity, he could more easily quell the population. A gentler hand could be just as effective as power, after all. Being the lone man in an all-female race had resulted in some awkward boyhood years wondering what it was like to be the fairer sex, and after being trapped in a dimensional prison for hundreds of years, he didn’t mind airing out those feelings a little.

“Hey Midna…” Link gasped, the two lined up close enough to speak to each other. “Weren’t we supposed to be, like, super strong?”



“Well I totally was.” Midna grumbled, more embarrassed than anything. “You’re the one who lost your sword, like, right away!”

“I knew it, that stuff didn’t make us stronger at all! You lost just as bad as I did!” Link complained. “It just made us all sexy and stuff! We never shoulda had it!”

“Shut up! I bet if we hadn’t had it, we would’ve lost, like, twice as hard!” Midna said stubbornly. “Besides, you were the one who got that stupid potion from that stupid fairy!”



“It was your idea to drink it!”

Ganon let out a deep, haughty laugh befitting of an evil princess at the two’s bickering.

“It looks like you two brought me some amusement in the end after all!” She said smugly, crossing her arms beneath her comparatively washboard bust. “I changed my mind! I don’t think I’ll kill you two after all.”

“You won’t?” Link said hopefully, her heroic spirit mostly eroded by her dimwitted, giggly brain, and just happy that he was showing mercy on them.

“No, I have a much better job for you two.” Ganondorf grinned evilly. “You two can be my royal jesters!”

Midna grit her teeth and pouted as Ganondorf laughed, but didn’t have the energy to protest. She groaned and slumped over, Link’s eyes rolling back in her head as she passed out too. Unfortunately for the two imps, they wouldn't be any smarter when they woke up…