Link’s eyes slowly open, delicate lashes fluttering as she turned over, turning her head away from the gentle sunlight that streamed in through her window. She snuggled deeper into the most comfortable bed she had ever slept in in her life, beating even the waterbeds of the Zora. It was even greater than the feeling of falling into an actual bed after days of sleeping on whatever uncomfortable terrain he could find in his days as an adventurer, Link thinking that right now, it would be very difficult to ask her to go back. A princess couldn’t be expected to rough it without so much as a sleeping bag, could she?

But even the most comfortable bed in all the Mushroom Kingdom couldn’t keep her drowsy for long, and with a yawn and a gentle stretch Link emerged from her four poster bed, her feet hitting the luxurious carpet of Princess Peach’s guest room. She yawned again, rubbing her eyes and throwing the curtains open to reveal a simply stunning view of the Mushroom Kingdom, rolling plains of green as far as the eye could see, save for the silhouette of Toad Town buildings in the distance. Link had seen it many times in the two months since she had arrived in the Mushroom Kingdom, transformed into a princess and dragged willingly to another universe, and it never seemed to get any less beautiful. Hyrule was a beautiful kingdom to be sure, but the Mushroom Kingdom seemed brighter, more vibrant, more colourful than the world she knew, as befitting its whimsical inhabitants.

Link smiled, then turned on her heel, her baby blue nightgown twirling with her. In order to be ready for another day in a kingdom as beautiful as this, she needed to be beautiful herself! Link glanced at her elegant features in the mirror as she entered the bathroom, wondering if it was the spell that kept her hair remarkably presentable after a good night’s sleep, or if it was simply natural for denizens to wake up with merely a few exaggerated tufts of hair sticking up that could be easily brushed back into shape. After taking a quick shower and using no less than four types of hair product on her silky, voluminous hair, Link dried herself and her hair off, brushing it back into its distinctive usual shape. Then there came the most enjoyable part: doing her makeup. Link relished the sensation of her plump lips gaining a bright blue coating of lipstick, her already idealised and blemish-free face gaining a subtle blush, painting her eyebrows and giving her eyes a matching tint. She smiled brightly at her reflection, towel tied around herself, and then proceeded to her wardrobe to decide what to wear today.

Peach had spared no expense in making sure that Link had something to wear, although her wardrobe had largely quite intentionally amounted to blue versions of Peach’s favourite outfits, Link’s eyes passing by dresses with short skirts for tennis, and other sports,  a cute top and skirt combination for golf, and even a sleeveless top and hip-hugging shorts for basketball. Peach seemed to be quite the athlete, having rattled off a seemingly endless list of sports for Link and her to partake in at her leisure, Link’s head spinning as she finally realised why she had been such a capable fighter in the first place, and that Peach’s descriptions of her sporting hobbies back home hadn’t simply been formal outings for show. There was even a catsuit supposedly intended for biking, Peach laughing that she figured she should get one for Link given her ownership of the Master Cycle.

There were even more outfits in Peach’s own wardrobe, but Link’s ones were hand-picked and intended to bring out the princess in her, Peach pouting and telling her that it would be a waste to go to the effort of transforming her only for her to dress casually during her stay. Link didn’t mind at all, and out of the many options before her ended up quickly boiling it down to two variants of the dress she had arrived in, specifically the dress itself and a simplified version of it, Peach having revealed that the lacy, detailed dress she wore as a fighter was, in her words, to fit in better with everybody else, her preferred dress at home being a simple version with flat colours that shocked Link with its simplicity. But it fit in perfectly with her home world, and Link eventually decided to pick the simple one to match. If she needed one of the other outfits, she would simply change into it after the two of them had decided what they would do for the day.

Link hummed happily to herself as she headed down the hallways of the castle, a skip in her step in her high heels as she greeted the

“Good morning, princess!” One of Peach’s mushroom retainers called as she passed, Link smiling and waving to him, enjoying his blush at the beautiful princess’s acknowledgement.

“Top of the morning to you, princess! I trust that you’ll have an excellent morning as usual!” Said the moustachioed Toadsworth, the oldest of Peach’s servants as he nearly bumped into Link. He seemed to have convinced himself that this was the best greeting for somebody from a medieval world, and it amused Link too much to correct him. Link recalled her first meeting with him, Toadsworth exclaiming that she had found yet another new princess, and asked where Link had come from this time.

“Pleased to meet you, sir Toadsworth.” Link had said, curtsying and trying not to tower over him too much. “My name is Princess Link of Hyrule, and I’m delighted to be your guest.”

“Oh, no need for any sir… wait Hyrule? But Princess, didn’t you say that was…” Toadsworth trailed off as he turned to Peach in confusion, gears turning in his head until he remembered where he had heard that name before. “My goodness, first a princess from space and now a princess from another universe! Princess, I must ask that next time you tell me before you invite an otherworldly being! I don’t know what tea to serve them!”

Link giggled at the memory of the face he had made, finding that Peach had simply the most charming servants, even if their competence seemed to vary wildly. They were quite suitable for a place like this, Link supposed, where Peach lived a remarkably stress-free life that failed to match up with any of the expectations Link had of a princess. Zelda had lived a life of rigorous ceremony and duty, eager to escape from her father’s crushing expectations and the weight of the kingdom that would one day rest in her hands. As a result travelling across Hyrule had been a relief for her, even with the constant stress of being unable to become the saviour of Hyrule that she was expected to be, and ever since Hyrule had been saved, had been swamped with the work of rebuilding a kingdom from scratch.

Peach, on the other hand, seemed to have no such responsibilities. Things like management or taxes or budgeting seemed to be of little concern to her, assuring Link that things always seemed to work out and that she didn’t have to worry about them most of the time. Based on what she and everybody else said her kingdom experienced a hostile takeover or crisis of some kind every couple of months, and yet although the citizens supposedly reacted appropriately while it was happening, as soon as it was over they celebrated then went back to their ordinary lives like nothing had ever happened. Link could hardly wrap her head around the idea, but was happy to live without complaint in a kingdom that wasn’t on the verge of calamitous disaster. She reached the door to Peach’s outdoor garden, picking up a light blue parasol she kept by the door. She had initially worried that her new pale complexion fared poorly with the harshness of the sun, but even after the Mushroom Kingdom sun had proved gentle she formed a habit of carrying it around, feeling like it filled the void a sword otherwise would.

“Over here, Link!” Peach called from a sunny spot in her garden, a table set up with tea and snacks already prepared. Link closed her parasol, having had it open for the short walk there, and was soon sipping away, although she always had a slight moment of hesitation ever since Peach had spiked her drink and transformed her in the first place. Who know what she might try to turn her into next?

“So, what would you like to do today, princess?” Peach asked, looking just as lovely as Link did. “Golfing? Tennis? Karting? Basketball? Or perhaps we could do some shopping? Oh, maybe I should introduce you to one of our parties! You see, you start on a giant board, and after everybody’s had a turn we play a minigame…”



“Any one of those would be lovely, princess.” Link said, unable to quite keep up with the barrage of potential activities. “But, uh, perhaps we should save the party for another time? I seem to recall you mentioning being crushed by boulders and falling into lava during those…”

“Oh, that’s all just part of the fun.” Peach brushed her concerns aside. The two chatted for a while longer, and Link suddenly realised that the topic of when Link would return home or be turned back to normal hadn’t come up even once since she had arrived. It made sense for Peach to avoid the subject, but Link herself had felt no desire to raise it herself, always ending the day wondering what fun she would have the next, wondering which one of Peach’s strange and exciting friends she would meet, most of which seemed to live in a similar idyllic state. In fact, as far as she was concerned, she was having more fun as a princess than she had ever had working as a hero and adventurer. Sure, it was a spoiled existence, but didn’t she deserve to be spoiled a little after all her hard work?

“You know, Peach, I was just thinking…” Link said, pausing briefly to serve herself a sliver of Peach’s delicious cake, lest she eat too much and start to get addicted. Link set her fork down on her plate, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin mostly to show off her refined body language. “I think it might be time for me to move out of your guest room. I’ve spent far too long intruding on you, getting in your way if you have another guest. It’s only becoming of me to not overstay my welcome, wouldn’t you say?”



Peach’s face froze for a moment, Link relishing the fact that she had managed to catch her off guard for once.

“I was thinking that I should have a proper room of my own, if I’m to stay here.” Link smiled, enjoying watching Peach’s face light up.

“Oh, of course! I was just thinking of that myself!” Peach laughed now that she knew that Link had been hiding no plans to return to her old life behind her back. “It’s so small in there, so stuffy! We simply must get you out of there as soon as possible!”

Link was about to laugh back that it was the largest room she had ever stayed in in her life when suddenly, a shadow was cast over the two of them. Link frowned, having seen no large clouds on her way here. Was it about to rain out of the blue? She looked up and her mouth fell agape as what was above her was no cloud, but instead an enormous wooden airship held afloat by propellers, an entire fleet of them following close behind and enveloping the castle within their shadows.

“Get behind me, Princess!” Link said instinctively, nearly spilling her tea as she leapt to her feet and dashed in front of her, her stance shifting from ladylike to ready to throw down.

“I was just thinking that it had been a while since Bowser invaded.” Peach said strangely calmly, not even leaving her seat even as an enormous anchor fell from the sky and flattened one of her garden’s grass sculptures, soldiers descending along the chains. Stubby brown creatures called Goombas marched towards them, reinforced by oversized turtles, some of which were winged creatures that hovered overhead. There were even wizards with magic wands that Link was particularly wary of, so preoccupied with taking in the threat that she hardly noticed Peach’s lack of a reaction.

“Hey, there’s two of them this time!” She heard one of the platoon leaders remark, the ground troops muttering amongst themselves.



“Is it Daisy? I don’t think we’ve ever kidnapped Daisy before.”



“No, idiot, she’s blue, that means it’s Rosalina!”



“Isn’t Rosalina taller?”

“Yeah, this one’s like a blue Peach! Maybe it’s a new princess?”

“Are you sure it’s not Daisy? I can only tell them apart because she wears yellow.”

“Her hair’s not even the right colour, moron!”

“It doesn’t matter who she is!” A burly koopa declared, unknown to Link but known to Peach as the fortress commander Boom Boom.. “I’m gonna take her in for King Bowser! He’s gonna be pumped when he finds out he’s getting two princesses this time!”

The koopa went in swinging, clearly intending to tackle the two of them and seize them before they had time to react, but Link was more than ready for them, snatching up her parasol and swinging it like a club, bowling the unprepared koopa over onto his back.

“H-hey! What’s the deal!” He said, Link kicking the floundering turtle back to his forces, who rushed to stop him before he flattened the goombas. “Who said you were allowed to fight back?”



“I did!” Link declared, harrumphing and managing to put on a girly display of indignance. “I’m not letting a single one of you uncouth barbarians lay a finger on either of us!”

“Barbarians? That’s a little harsh…” One of the other soldiers remarked, and Link found herself being tapped on the shoulder by the princess she was trying to protect.

“Calm down, Link.” Peach advised, to Link’s disbelief.

“Calm down? You’re being invaded, princess! Your kingdom is about to be conquered!” Link exclaimed, running on full combat instincts.

“It’s not a big deal, it happens all of the time.” Peach said, but Link wasn’t quite ready to match her relaxed pace.

“Well not this time!” Link declared, stepping up and daring the others to approach.

“Link, there’s no need to-” Peach started, but was interrupted by a battle cry from the various forces as they all tried to be the one to be the first to capture this brutish new princess, Link deftly dodging Charging Chucks, swatting Goombas away with her parasol, and stomping Koopas into their shells with her high heels. The second wave seemed much more reluctant to approach, intimidated by her as she wiped sweat from her brow, feeling like it had been a while since she had really gotten herself into a good fight. Even as a princess, she felt exhilarated and ready to remind Peach that she was just as strong as she ever was.

“Okay Princess, I think we can make a breakthrough from here.” Link said, panting and taking Peach’s hand. “If we make it to the chain we can climb up and challenge their leader, or we can make it out of here and see if we can regroup with the Mario Brothers and-”

“Alright princess, that’s enough from you for one day.” Peach said, suddenly snatching Link’s parasol out of her hand. “I’m starting to feel sorry for them.”

“Hey!” Link protested, looking like a child who had just had their toy taken away from them. “I was using that!”

“There’s a certain protocol that you’re ignoring right now, Link.” Peach sighed, putting her hands on her hips. “I think you’re forgetting that you’re a princess right now, not a hero!”

“Look, I know that this is supposed to happen to you all of the time,” Link argued. “But you can’t just expect me to-”

“Now! Get ‘em!”

Link let out a girly shriek as she was jumped by thirty of Bowser’s foot troops at once, having crept up on them while the two were arguing. The pile of bodies eventually dispersed to reveal a very grumpy Link completely tied up with rope, glaring at a similarly captured Peach for distracting her.

“I think it’ll do you a world of good to be kidnapped for once.” Peach smiled, Link pouting and giving in, not fighting back as she was picked up and hoisted along to below the largest airship. An enormous figure in what could only be described as a clown-faced personal aircraft descended upon the two of them, Link squinting up and soon recognising the imposing figure within.

“Gwah ha ha! That’s a good look for you and your new friend, princess!” Bowser laughed nefariously as the airshop dropped a cage next to them, the two princesses being ushered in and the door slammed shut behind them.

“Who’s the new dame, anyway?” Bowser asked, climbing out of his craft for a moment to inspect Link. “I thought it was Rosalina, but she’s taller. Is that Daisy in a blue dress?”



“King Bowser, meet Princess Link of Hyrule.” Peach proudly introduced her, Link sighing and giving him a pained but polite look.

“Eh? Ain’t that the name of…” Bowser looked back and forth between the two of them with visible confusion until eventually he settled on Link.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were, you know, a guy!” Bowser apologised sheepishly. “You know, since you didn’t have the makeup on and everything. I always thought you were really pretty, though! Always happy to kidnap another princess, I always say!”

“Charmed.” Link said unhappily, and something suddenly occurred to Bowser, who shoved his face up in Link’s and squinted carefully at her.

“Wait, hang on, are you actually still a guy, and you’re just crossdre-”

“I’m a lady through and through, for your information!” Link pouted, Bowser scratching his head and shrugging. He climbed back into his clown car and linked it to the cage, personally carrying the two princesses away as they watched his forces take over the castle behind them.

“Well, now what?” Link asked, exasperated at the casual nature of this hostile takeover. “We wait for your heroes to come and save us?

“Ah, so you remember! Good, I won’t have to explain.” Peach would have clapped her hands together had she not been tied up. “Oh, don’t look so upset, you’re not a princess until you’ve been kidnapped at least once!”

Link refused to talk, wondering just how she had ended up like this as she settled in for the long trip.

–

“Here we are, princesses.” A skeletal Koopa guard gestured at the door to what Link assumed was their cell, the two having been carried all the way to a menacing stone castle emblazoned with the face of Bowser himself. She had been surprised enough when it wasn’t a cell, but was shocked when she followed Peach through to what appeared to be a large and fully laid out bedroom, complete with personal bathroom, wardrobe, a sofa, a TV, video games, and a mini-fridge.

“We are being kidnapped, right?” Link asked incredulously, Peach grinning smugly as the door was locked behind them.

“So, what now?” Link asked, feeling exhausted as she flopped down onto the sofa. “We just wait?”



“Pretty much.” Peach said, looking to see if Bowser had remembered to provide a tea set for them. “Until the Mario Brothers get near the castle, then we’ll be suspended over some lava in a big metal cage.”

“I thought we’d skip straight to the cage part.” Link admitted, starting to understand why Peach had barely reacted to being captured. “Why, this place is even better than my room in your castle!”



“Bowser is such a gracious host, isn’t he?” Peach smiled, sitting herself down next to Link.

“What is your relationship with him, anyway?” Link asked, resisting the urge to put her face in her palms. “Just the other day we were playing golf together! Actually, didn’t we race through this place three weeks ago in those karts of yours?”

“I thought you understood that we have an on-off nemesis relationship.” Peach said as if it were the most simple thing in the world.

“When you said you got kidnapped a lot I assumed it would be by somebody else!” Link said, feeling indignant that she felt like she was being the silly one in this situation, like everything Peach said was logical and it was her that was out of place and not understanding. “That he was, you know, a former enemy! He didn’t seem like he was about to kidnap you while we were playing tennis together! And you said he’d be over for more tennis next week!”

“That’s right, he will be.” Peach confirmed.

“Right after he tried to conquer your kingdom?”



“That’s right.”



“I give up.” Link groaned, slumping in her seat. “You have the strangest lifestyle, Princess.”

“How does being kidnapped in your world?” Peach asked, looking totally innocent somehow.

“Well, usually it’s just Zelda who gets kidnapped, most of the time.” Link explained wearily. “The dark lord Ganon, or Ganondorf I suppose he says he was called before he turned into a giant pig, kidnaps the princess and uses her magic for some evil plan, and then says he’s going to kill her when he’s done with her, and then I guess the Link of her time saves her before that happens. I think that’s how it worked for the older Zeldas, our Ganon doesn’t really talk, and it was more like she captured him..”

“Goodness, how awful! Zelda, I mean, the other Zeldas should complain about that!” Peach exclaimed. “It must make the other times they're kidnapped quite awkward!”



“No, there usually isn’t a second… never mind. I don’t care anymore.” Link gave up. “Would you like to play some of those video game things while we wait?

–

“Do we have to wait much longer?” Link complained as the two dangled over red hot lava, suspended over it in a metal cage. “I’m getting sweaty, and I don’t want my makeup to run.”

“It shouldn’t be too long now.” Peach assured her, calmly waiting in her own cage.

“You know, I actually do feel quite helpless.” Link admitted, gloved hands wrapped around the cage.. She had just gotten comfortable after several days of being kidnapped when they had abruptly been yanked out of their Bowser, who seemed to be preparing for his climactic showdown with the Mario Brothers. “In fact, I’m not sure what I’ll do if those two don’t rescue me! What if that Bowser fellow doesn’t let me out?”



“Are you feeling a little distressed?” Peach’s smile began to widen.

“Perhaps just a touch.” Link said. “He could just leave me in this cage for as long as he wants, or throw me in a cell I can’t get out of! I’d truly be waiting for a hero to save me.”



“You would, wouldn’t you?” Peach prodded her along.

“Yes, he’d have to rush up and valiantly defeat him, then take the key and free me.” Link said enthusiastically. “Then he’d sweep me off his feet and ask me,'' Are you alright, princess?”, and then I’d say “of course, now that you’re here!” and then he’d carry me off.”

“I’m glad you’re finally enjoying yourself, Link.” Peach giggled, and Link blushed.

“That’s just speaking theoretically.” Link mumbled. “I could probably break out if I really wanted to. I’d just, you know, have to wait for my chance. Just not right now!”

After a little longer, Link heard a door open and yelling in the distance, Bowser shouting his menacing pre-battle speech.

“Oh, there they are!” Peach said, clapping her hands together.

“They’re quite small next to him.” Link realised, squinting to make out the details. “Are you sure they can beat somebody like him?”



“Oh, all the time, I wouldn’t worry about it.” Peach said breezily.

“Ah, watch out!” Link nearly shoved her face through the bars as Bowser began to breathe fire. “Jump, jump! Ah, no, you’re going to land on his-”

Link winced as the green brother landed on Bowser’s spiky shell with a comical cry.

“Come on, you can do it! Go for it!” Link began to cheer as the two began to turn the tables, Peach feeling no need to interrupt as Bowser was finally knocked off balance and send tumbling into the lava.

“They did it!” Linked cheered, beaming and clapping as she practically hopped up and down in her cage. She suddenly caught herself and coughed awkwardly, trying to act like Peach hadn’t seen that. “Um, will he be okay? We have tennis next week…”



“Oh, he’ll be fine.” Peach giggled. “Now straighten up, here they come!”



Link stiffened and did her best to look dignified and princess-like as the two brothers approached the matching princesses, unlocking the cages. Link took the hand of the green one whose name she just couldn’t ever seem to remember, ready for him to help her step away from that oppressive heat.

“Uh, are you alright, Princess? He asked in a funny accent, Link giggling at his endearing look of concern.

“Of course, now that you’re here!” Link smiled, and to her surprise instead of being helped out she was instead swept off her feet, put into a princess carry by the surprisingly sturdy man and carried well away from the lava, being reluctantly let down back to her feet once they were a safe distance. She was so tickled by the experience that on impulse she decided to lean down and kiss him right on his big nose, leaving the cartoonish man so shocked he nearly fainted then and there.

“Luigi, wasn’t it?” She finally recalled with a smile, him sending his nose bouncing as he furiously nodded, looking very happy that somebody finally remembered it for once. Peach giggled, having gotten similar treatment from Mario and provided an appropriate reward in turn, and Link leaned in, whispering into her ear.

“I think it’d be alright if we did this again sometime.” Link said, wondering if she truly did count as a princess after this…