"The last Metroid is in captivity. Or it was for a bit, anyway. The Galaxy is at peace. Samus Aran is bored." Samus mumbled as she scrolled through bounties, splayed out on her cockpit chair, one leg hanging over the armrest. She bet whoever wrote that felt real proud of themselves, and probably didn't appreciate Samus adlibbing it. It was meant to be the opening line of the movie loosely based on one of her adventures, before the whole project fell apart over casting disagreements. At the time, Samus had felt incredibly relieved to not have what was shaping up to be somewhere between an embarrassment and character assassination had never seen the light of day, but right now she would have taken front row premiere seats to it over her current pathetic state of looking at another dozen bounty hunting job offers that she was barely even pretending to consider before turning them down.
That screenwriter had at least one thing right. The galaxy was at peace for once, after a few planets exploded and she got a lot of angry calls from endangered species preservation groups. The Space Pirates finally ran out of ways to bring Ridley back, and they were reduced to a few stragglers with no central command, living up to their name of raiding the occasional ship rather than making large-scale operations. At the time, achieving this peace had been her lifelong goal. The problem was, peace was boring. Once you blew up a few planets and wiped out some of the most dangerous organisms in the universe it was hard to go back to taking out some two-bit crooks for pocket change and and being a bodyguard for some rich jerk's party girl daughter instead of safeguarding top Federation officials.
The latter example was what had sent Samus into her current apathetic state, having made the mistake of taking a very lucrative job that had turned out to be guarding a much less exciting client than the business mogul who had offered it. After that embarrassment, having been employed mostly as a show of wealth and power, Samus had promised herself to never take up a job that was less than she was worth. The problem was, she was worth a lot, and the exciting missions that had made her legendary were quickly drying up along with her famous adversary.
Which brought her back to where she was right now, still in the chair, still bored out of her mind. God, she wanted a vacation. She had been in business mode for how many years now? You wouldn't believe how much cash she was sitting on, gathering dust because its owner hadn't felt the need to kick up her feet at some ludicrously expensive resort sipping wine more valuable than the life savings of the person serving it. But it couldn't be helped, she had always told herself. She was a busy woman who needed to be ready to spring to action at any moment, with too much work to be thinking about...
Of course, that was it! Samus lurched upwards, closing the window and putting bounty hunting out of sight and mind for the immediate future. Why act like she was busy, or on the verge of being busy, when she was stuck in bounty hunting limbo? It was time for her to take a well-deserved break, to kick up those feet until somebody came begging for her help like they always did. She could see it now. A sunny beach, good food, a cold drink, all eyes on her, constant buzzing attention, tabloids swarming her, having to leave...
Samus smile rapidly drooped back into a frown. Oh right, the other reason why she hadn't taken many breaks. Despite her stoic image, Samus would describe herself as a little camera-shy when it came to public appearances. She had preferred to put up a wall between her and the public image of Samus Aran, hence most of her most famous public appearances being in her iconic power suit. It had certainly worked to build up some mystique, and there were still those who thought that Samus Aran was a man despite her relaxing a little in recent years. That was all good and well for her career as a bounty hunter, but in her private life, Samus didn't really want to stand out. She wanted to try living the normal life she had neglected for so many years, to just be another passer-by and not the celebrity Samus Aran, who she had found out first hand couldn't go outside without every news outlet and gossip rag wanting an interview with her. A little privacy wasn't too much to ask for, right?
Of course, her mystique had its upsides. Samus made some pessimistic searches for herself on the galaxy's expansive social media and a few other celebrity outlets to see if she was as recognisable as she thought she was, or if she was just being paranoid. She didn't have high hopes, as in a galactic society, there was an untold number of people thirsty for any news about whatever celebrities they chose to obsess over. Samus didn't get it at all. What was so interesting about some actor's life anyway, let alone a bounty hunter. What she found after some research ended up surprising her. While there were photos of her in her zero suit out there in the wild, it turned out that the topic of "just who is samus aran anyway" raged on thanks to her larger than life image.
Of course, while that idea seemed common across Samus' research of her own private life, they all seemed to agree on the major points. Samus was a woman, she was blonde, she was quite tall and muscular, and she wore a blue jumpsuit as her iconic outfit when she wasn't suited up. On top of that, the top results for herself were indeed real photos of herself, and she rated quite high on celebrity recognition quizzes. It was looking grim for Samus' hopes of a quiet getaway, until she stumbled across a certain comment left on a certain website.
"That's not Samus Aran!" the post said, which normally wouldn't have attracted Samus' attention were it not for the enormous amount of likes on the comment. The post went on:
"If you actually looked at her, you'd notice that this woman has barely anything in common with the real Samus Aran. Samus Aran is 6'3 and has has muscles you could grind iron on, this one is barely even toned. Her biceps are wider than that woman's waist, and her face is way more masculine than that. Notice the lack of a square jaw?. Don't even get me started on her hair, a ponytail like that wouldn't even fit in the helmet. If you thought about it for two seconds you'd realise how stupid you are. You really think the best bounty hunter in the galaxy would look like some blonde bimbo? And her boobs definitely aren't that big!"
Samus nearly fell out of her chair laughing. Exactly where did they get this description of her from? It was like they were upset that their mental image of her didn't line up with the reality. But for some reason their sentiment seemed to be extremely popular, with many other comments echoing it to some degree. It even seemed to be one of the reasons why the movie deal fell through, there had been a big backlash to the chosen actress with #NotMySamus turning out to be a goldmine for studying the public perception of herself. There was an expectation for her to be some sort of beefy space bodybuilder who was rugged and scarred and got in bar fights. In reality, Samus had slim muscle with more power in them than a drug-abusing bodybuilder thanks to her chozo genes, slender proportions, a face models would be jealous of if she might say so herself, hadn't had short hair since she was in the academy, and was quite proud of her generous but not too big C-cup chest. You'd have thought that people would have preferred a more conventionally attractive Samus Aran!
It seemed that the galaxy just wasn't ready for a feminine Samus Aran, she had concluded. She had gotten a good laugh out of it, but more importantly, she was much more confident in planning her trip. It wasn't like the average person expected to see a celebrity in their day to day life, after all. However, she soon found a flaw in her logic when she was halfway through plotting her trip to Zathor 4, one of the most glamourous colonies in the galaxy orbiting one of its wealthiest planets. It was a popular tourist destination, known for plentiful celebrities and other famous figures with money to burn, where seeing your favourite actor might not be so unusual after all. Samus hesitated for a moment, wondering if she should instead save some time and money and chart a course to some quiet backwater. But Samus was determined to push through and not compromise. After doing so much good for the citizens of this galaxy, they could do a little good for her before she went back to blasting monsters into bits so that they could sleep peacefully at night.
With her trip booked in and a swimsuit paid for with express shipping, Samus soon relocated to her bedroom with the whole thing settled, where she posed in front of a mirror wondering how she could make herself look more inconspicuous. She had to make do with mostly what she could do to her overall appearance, since her wardrobe's variety was severely lacking, Samus reminding herself to order something to wear besides a bikini as she worked on her image. Some sunglasses, maybe? No, now she looked like somebody trying to avoid being recognised. Maybe do something with her hair? No, she was going to have it down anyway. Pigtails maybe? People definitely wouldn't expect Samus to pick that type of hairstyle. Her lip curled in distaste at her ridiculous appearance, that was definitely a step too far. But she felt like she was on the right track. The impression she got was that people didn't expect femininity from Samus Aran. Therefore, if she were to enhance it in some way, or make it so that she had something that stood out as distinctively not Samus Aran...
"Oh." Samus said, getting a very foolish idea in her head as she looked down, picturing herself in a bikini. "I've got it!"
--
"Draw less attention to yourself, Samus." Samus muttered under her breath, trying to stop herself from turning an even brighter red as she wobbled her way out of the change room, turning heads in her wake. "Do something so that people won't stare at you the whole time..."
Samus tugged on the string of her bikini, which despite its thinness wasn't nearly as subtle as she had pictured it being. If anything it demanded attention, causing the viewer to question how it supported what it was carrying. Many onlookers were indeed asking themselves this question, it being the only thing that caused their gaze to tilt upwards, which Samus was pained to admit meant her plan was a success.
"Well, they definitely won't look at your face now, Sammy..." A mortified Samus said as she hoped her engorged nipples wouldn't fall out of her woefully inadequate bikini that struggled to protect the modesty of her heaving, mesmerizingly swaying and jiggling melons, having been watered well beyond the modest C-cup they had started as. It had been such an innocent, mischievous at best idea at the time. A quick treatment from her medical bay's machinery, intended to repair and regrow tissue after an injury, to add a little extra tissue to her chest and turn that public attention downward. After all, nobody would expect Samus Aran to have a chest like a swimsuit model! Well, as it turned out after an ever so slight underestimate of the values she entered into the machine, they probably wouldn't expect her to have breasts larger than her head either!
God, they were so heavy! And they bounced, and jiggled, and wobbled, and every other way Samus could think to describe the breasts that were the size of her head and then some when they were in motion. She had to suppress the desire to hold onto them, to hold them in place, knowing that doing so would only make it more erotic.
"This is the worst..." Samus moaned, having long-cancelled her plans for any beach frolicking right after she found out that undoing her little bust-up would take much longer than she had thought going in. Her bikini turned out to barely cover her nipples once it arrived, Samus having to breathe a sigh of relief at the colony's relaxed indecency laws. Stupid! Stupid Aran! How had she even left her ship in this state? Oh right, she had somehow managed to convince herself that it wasn't as bad as it looked. So much for that! As she collected her towel and prepared to do some relaxing, she was acutely aware of all of the eyes on her, some making an attempt to hide it, some not. It was quite the busy beach after all, under the artificial sun and surf.
After a while though and the initial embarrassment started to wear off a little, Samus realised something. She was getting a lot of looks, but like she had thought, everybody was just interested in gaping slack-jawed at her chest, and she was yet to hear any murmurs of recognition, particularly once she put her sunglasses on to further distract from her embarrassed visage. Today was a test run, Samus eventually decided after doing a few Chozo breathing techniques to reduce the flush of her face and truly drink in the beach atmosphere. If she could survive this, she'd be a lot more confident. She had faced down planet-ending threats, she wasn't about to be scared off by a few lurid gazes. Besides, she thought to herself sardonically, that rich girl she had to guard was even bigger than her. And she'd take a hundred horny onlookers undressing her with her mind than put up with that spoiled brat for another second.
Once she calmed down and started looking around the beach for more than watchful eyes, it became obvious that she wasn't the only attraction at the beach. Skimpily dressed beach bunnies with big busts and burly boyfriends dotted the beach, with many men preferring to watch the bounce of beach volleyball players more than Samus' pale orbs. Vapid voices and figures paid for by by daddy's credit card flooded into her observant eyes and ears, Samus spotting many women who had clearly had a similar procedure done, albeit much more professionally than Samus' repurposed equipment. Sure, she might have been one of the biggest, but she wasn't the only eyecandy to go around.
While it seemed tacky and hedonistic for a moment, the glamorous city and its luxuriously crafted beach experience reminded Samus just what she was fighting for. Thanks to her efforts these people could live out their ordinary lives, and that was a lot more satisfying to think about than anything else. Besides, once she had spent some time unwinding, she'd be eager to get back to her job of continuing to protect them. Probably, anyway. She was already starting to feel like she could get used to this.
Eventually the sun began to set, Samus having done little more than relax and acclimatise to the first day of her vacation by soaking in the sun, pausing briefly to watch the concession stand boy's eyes nearly bulge out of his head when she went to get a drink. She listened to a gaggle of beach bimbos giggling about their plans to party at the club all night long as they left the beach, and decided it too was time for her to go. A few minutes later she was back in a pair of jeans and the only real top she had managed to fit into, a very overstretched t-shirt that bared her midriff and a result of devoting most of its available fabric to covering her most prominent feature.
"You're still a terrible idea. Don't think you're sticking around." She joking chastised her own breasts, wishing they'd bounce a little less with each step. Surprisingly, she realised that she had cared less about the fact that she had modified her body than the fact that the change was embarrassing. There were some people who were intent on keeping their body as natural as possible, but as somebody who had had her body modified at an early age by the Chozo, Samus wasn't opposed to the idea of using science to go beyond her natural design when necessary. Although her Chozo genes were of much higher gravity than a botched boob-job, it actually wasn't the first time Samus had altered herself. Back during her military training days as a teenager, she had been quite sensitive over the bright green hair that her Chozo treatment had unexpectedly given her. She had ultimately chosen to pay for a gene splicing treatment that changed her hair to its current golden locks, and it was perhaps why she had made such an impulsive decision.
Still, what was done was done, Samus thought as she tugged the bottom of her shirt town as much as she could whilst the sun cycle dimmed and the night life began to stir, whether it was dying one's hair at a genetic level or encouraging one's breast tissue to engorge a little. Both could be easily remedied, although in the latter case it was enough of a hassle that she wouldn't worry about it until her trip was over. Right now she was just worrying about what she'd do before she returned to her ship, and perhaps without quite thinking it through, she fell back on her plans of spending a nice night out at a quiet bar.
Unfortunately, while her ridiculous boobs hadn't ruined her trip to the beach, Samus found that the small bar she decided to enter was another story. As the only woman in the small business she was attracting leers from every man in there, from the seedy middle aged men to the young rich k1ds taking a break from their usual raucous nights out. While she was confident in her ability to break every bone in their bodies if they laid hands on her, it was obvious that she was like a juicy hunk of meat ready to be savoured. She was already regretting coming halfway through her second drink when a confident, tipsy young man slid up to her at the counter, and Samus wasn't sure if she was bothered more by the way he looked at her chest or her face.
"Hey, don't I know you?" He asked with an obnoxious grin, Samus deftly swaying away from his attempt to lay a hand on his shoulder.
"I doubt it." She said frostily, which wasn't nearly enough for him to get the message.
"No, I definitely know you. I never forget a good-looking woman's face." He stared intently at Samus, before starting to chuckle.
"Shit, no way! What the hell are you doing here?" He laughed, making Samus uncomfortable that he had figured out something he wasn't supposed to. "And ince when did you have those tits?"
"I think you must have mistaken me for somebody else." Samus was starting to be glad that she had paid for her drink already, unconsciously taking on a position ready to rocket out of her seat and break his jaw if needed.
"Nope, you can't fool me!" He said proudly, the stink of alcohol on him. "You're definitely Sam-"
Samus didn't wait for him to finish before slamming her glass onto the counter and storming out as quickly as she could, her chest heaving as she ignored his protests and got the hell out of there. Damn it, damn it, damn it! How the hell was she supposed to enjoy your stay if some random horndog in a second-rate bar could recognise her just like that? She made a one-way trip back to her ship, miserable that she had already tripped up. She felt like an idiot for thinking that a pair of oversized tits would be enough to fool anybody. She should have used a disguise, or changed her face somehow, or something like that. Hell, she should have taken a page from those girls on the beach and gone to the club instead, where it would have been harder to make her out even if the chances of getting groped went up tenfold..."
--
"-antha Adams, the famous swimsuit model!" the proud drunk finished as the door was metaphorically and, had he been closer to the entrance, literally shut in his face. He paused awkwardly as the rest of the bar gave him looks of varying disdain, either for his poor pickup game or for scaring off the best tits they had seen all day, while the one ass man drinking a lonely glass in the corner was already missing those tight jeans.
“I hope she’s less of a bitch in front of the camera.” He mumbled into his glass, wondering if he should have just gone to the club tonight.