The next morning, with the frustration and the alcohol out of her system, Samus was ready to start putting together a plan to enjoy her vacation in peace. Clearly, she thought as she brushed her hair after her shower and took a good long look at herself in the mirror, wondering just how she was supposed to make that face less recognisable. She didn’t have the first idea of how to use makeup, and figured it probably wouldn’t make that big of a difference anyway. She stared for a while, microanalysing herself before concluding that doing so was a total waste of time. What did she expect, for it to metamorph into something else if she stared at it long enough?

She abandoned the mirror with a sigh. Samus Aran was not going to stop being Samus Aran with a change of clothes and some makeup. It wasn’t like she wanted to put a huge amount of effort into her appearance just so that people wouldn’t gawk at her on the street. For one thing, they were already gawking because of her first attempt. And no matter what, Samus Aran in a disguise was still Samus Aran…

“That’s it!” Samus exclaimed, another one of her impulse decisions striking her. She had been looking at it from the wrong direction the whole time! Her mistake had been trying to disguise Samus Aran. It was Samus Aran going on a vacation, and as long as she thought of it like that, she was always going to be on the defensive. Instead, she should take a page from any good master of disguise’s book: construct a new identity and act accordingly. Then they wouldn’t see Samus Aran, but rather just another vacationeer having a normal day, and any resemblance to the bounty hunter known as Samus Aran was entirely coincidental.

“Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic.” Samus said out loud, putting a finger to her lips and teasing them a little. She wasn’t some superspy or on a top secret mission or something, she was just a celebrity trying to stop people from bothering her on her day off. When she put it that way, it helped put things in perspective, and it was best to take a moment before she did anything stupid again. But it wasn’t like her first idea had completely failed, she mused. It was just that she couldn’t expect people to never look at her face. A little something to throw them off her trail might go a long way. And this time, it wouldn’t be something major like having these beachballs stuck to her chest.

A few minutes later, Samus was in her medical bay, looking at the machine that was the beginning and end of her problems. The inspiration for using extremely expensive medical equipment for such a petty purpose came from when Samus had used it as intended, as it turned out. She had suffered heavy injuries after an intense firefight, suffering gruesome injuries to the chest. Amongst other things, she had, to put it quite unsexily, lost her entire original left breast before the machine regenerated and damaged muscle and tissue, leaving it good as new. However, Samus had spent a long time afterwards suspecting that her boobs had gotten slightly larger after the treatment, eventually creating the train of thought that put that theory to the test, where it passed with flying colours.

Of course, breasts weren’t the only thing it could expand. There were features for things like facial reconstruction, although only reconstruct. Samus couldn’t exactly command it to scramble her facial features until she looked like a brand new woman, not that she had any desire to do something like that in the first place. She didn’t want to go too crazy, just a couple of things that were fairly inconsequential and could be easily reverted later on. She made sure to enter her values very carefully this time, dreading the consequences if she screwed up.

With the machine ready to go, Samus took a deep breath, wondering if what she was about to do was really a good idea. Oh, to hell with it! What was the point in stressing over something meant to stop her from stressing in the first place? She laid herself down on the bay’s bed, determined to put the first step in her plan into action without further hesitation. The machine lowered over her, Samus closing her eyes as it got to work. She felt a prickling in her lips, and her eyelids tingled, the two areas it was focusing on. Within minutes the tingling subsided, and Samus pulled herself upright, eager to get to the mirror to inspect her handiwork.

When she did, Samus was stunned at the difference it made. Her lips had, as per her instructions, doubled in size, full and puffy and instantly drawing attention to themselves as they dominated much more of her lower face. She could feel their poutiness, playing with them a little before focusing on her now much longer and thicker eyelashes, looking like she had applied a healthy dose of makeup to them. She looked more glamorous, and her puffy lips curled into a smile. This could work!

--

Having spent so much time basking in the ambience of desolate alien landscapes, Samus had almost forgotten what it was like to soak in the hustle and bustle of a heavily populated metropolitan era like the main shopping district on Zathor-4. Hover-cars and taxis flew overhead as the skyline was dominated by huge buildings ranging from hotels to apartments to shopping complexes. Thousands of pedestrians marched up and down the busy streets alongside Samus, and while it wasn’t lacking for the elderly or families with scores of k1ds in tow, Samus was already getting a sense for why this was a party hub for the young with too much time and money on their hands. There were gaggles of mall brats roaming the streets weighed down with more shopping bags than thought humanly possible for one to obtain in a single trip, brash young men either trying to pick them up or glad that they weren’t being dragged along by their girlfriends. Samus still considered herself a young woman, but couldn’t help but feel entirely divorced from this reality, like she was on another plane of existence to their carefree self-indulgent lies. Today, she was here to bridge that gap.

To be more specific, Samus was in desperate need of a new wardrobe. She had come to terms with this even before the boobpocalypse, and it was more relevant than ever. She started to lay out a mental map as she entered one of the most popular malls, bombarded with women’s clothes stores on every side. Ostensibly this was a general-purpose area, but it felt like there was nothing but cafes and women’s clothing stores as far as the eye could see. Seas of shoes, droves of dresses, and enough salons to sink a ship. Just how did they compete with each other like this? There was spoiled for choice, and then there was this mall, and Samus had absolutely no idea where to start with it. Fortunately, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing for a woman on a mission to change her image.

Fortunately, she noticed as she scoped out the fauna of the shopping mall environment, she at least wouldn’t have to worry about not finding something that fit her. Suspiciously huge boobs were common with the obviously wealthier patrons of the mall, and catering only to the petite was not universal. Samus ended up discreetly following a G-cupped woman and her boyfriend to a store that she was certain could fulfil her needs, deciphering her vapid babbling into useful information that this place was, “like, totally to die for and had totes the cutest clothes for the cutest girls”.

Samus, on the other hand, had to work to stop her newly enhanced lips from curling with distaste at the tacky wardrobe the store had to offer. If there was a place built for clubbers, this was it. Blindingly bright pink, gaudy patterns, with short skirts and cleavage for days. Normally, Samus wouldn’t be seen dead going near it, but that was exactly why she was here. One of the revelations Samus had had was simple enough. If you were going to recognise somebody, it was much easier if they looked exactly how you expected. Disrupt this pattern, and they would second-guess themselves. Therefore, Samus had planned to eschew her initial plan of getting something tastefully casual and blend in, but this was just too much. She wanted to look casual, but not look like a slut.

“Maybe next time.” She told herself as she backed off from the store, retreating to something more up her alley. After perusing a much more normal store for a while, Samus ended up imitating somebody she had seen after a quick internet search, settling on a middle point between fashionable, casual, and after she had been scared off by the tacky bimbo-oriented boutique. After some educated guesses, Samus walked out wearing a long, baggy top and some leggings, which combined with her more exaggerated eyelashes and plump lips, convinced her quickly that this was the type of new image she needed. It wasn’t a very Samus Aran thing to wear, which was perfect.

Now towing a bag with some other outfits in it, Samus was pleased with how the loose top muffled her massive chest. She could still feel its unceasing bouncing, but it wasn’t quite as conspicuous to the casual observer now, which would put her new tweaked face to the test. She had seen herself in the mirror a few times since departing from her ship, and she had to say she wasn’t opposed to her new look. It was actually pretty fun to see something new in the mirror, she was surprised to find out. With her chest downplayed she wasn’t getting as many looks either, which was a relief, and the tight leggings felt just like she was home back in her zero suit. Less excitingly, she also had several bras at the bottom of her bag to remind her that she needed a new swimsuit. Now, it was time for her next major destination.

“Good morning, take a seat wherever you want and we’ll be right with you!” Samus was cheerfully greeted by a receptionist as she stepped into a salon, ready for her next big change. Samus couldn’t remember the last time she had significantly changed her hairstyle, which meant that it was the next best thing for her disguise… no, the new her. Samus Aran could get her trademark hairstyle back when the fun stopped and it was time to get back to work. Samus drank in the scent of hair product and perfume in the all-white salon, looking around at the other girls getting elaborate hair treatments while they made idle smalltalk with their hairdressers, save for the ones who obviously came so often they were practically friends.

“What would you like us to do today?” Samus was asked by a trendy brunette with curly hair, Samus realising that she hadn’t put that much thought into it, and had just assumed that she’d have figured it out by the time she got in here. Without stopping to think too much about it, she merely pointed at the hairdresser’s reflection with a smile.

“Actually, I was thinking of getting something just like yours!”

Almost an hour later after having her hair thoroughly styled and having more products than she could hope to remember run through it, which turned out to be a surprisingly relaxing experience, Samus ran her fingers through her now curly, bouncy hair, impressed at the mass the stylist had managed to tease our of it as it went from straight and controlled to playful and fluffy, spreading out to her shoulders. Even her trademark bangs had been curled out of existence, which combined with her altered facial features made Samus feel like she was borderline unrecognisable already. It definitely wasn’t a Samus Aran look, that was for sure. She had a spring in her step as she left the salon with a big thumbs up from the stylist and a bag of hair product with detailed instructions for maintaining it.

Although her hair was slightly heavier than before, Samus felt like a load had been lifted from her shoulders. She was free, free from the woes of being Samus Aran! She was like a new woman, ready to truly relax and unwind. Having been in work mode for so long, she felt like a change like this was necessary to truly separate business and pleasure. Now all she had to do was sit back, relax, and do whatever she wanted until duty called. What could possibly go wrong?

--

The sun was setting on Samus’ second day of her vacation, and although she had gone all over the place, after her haircut it had been ultimately uneventful. She had drifted around the mall sipping fashionable coffees and staring at store displays, but her first real experience with shopping had her wondering what everybody else saw in it. Perhaps it was because she didn’t really have anything in mind and was doing it for the sake of doing it, just because that’s what everybody else was doing. Samus wasn’t one to go with the crowd, and suspected that if she actually cared about fashion or overpriced handbags and makeup she might have a better time. She supposed that she’d never be a mallrat like the other girls even if she tried, and although she normally wouldn’t mind, she couldn’t help but feel like she was missing out on something.

Samus considered heading back to her ship for a peaceful night, but was unsatisfied with such a boring end to her day. She had started strong and peaked too early, and wanted something exciting to round out her day. She floated around the entertainment districts, and was eventually drawn in by the loud music and excited crowds of a certain club. The lights were flashing, the music was pounding, and people were grinding against each other in the decadent club that was supposedly the most popular in the colony. Samus’ displeasure was obvious on her face, being the last person to go to a club were she not forcing herself. Maybe she shouldn’t have even tried to bother, she thought as she hung around the bar, wondering if she should even get a drink. What was she going to do, wait for somebody to hit on her? She should just go home...

“What’s the matter, your boyfriend ditch you or something?”

Samus was broken out of her stupor by a girl in a crop top and denim shorts leaning in, taken aback by the abrupt interrogation.

“What?” She said dumbly, the girl giggling.

“Lighten up, girl! You look like your dog died!” The girl teased her, Samus feeling embarrassed but slightly relieved that somebody had broken the ice. “Did something happen?”

“No, nothing, it’s just…” Samus awkwardly mumbled through the blaring party music. Just who was this sociable girl anyway? She wondered if this was normal for her, her own knowledge of partying being next to zero. She seemed a bit younger than Samus, but thankfully it wasn’t like it was a teenager talking to an adult woman.

“It’s just, I don’t usually go out like this, you know?” Samus attempted to say more casually. What did she have to lose?

“Well, first thing, you’re obviously thinking about it too hard, and second thing, you haven’t had enough to drink.” The girl said mischievously. “Come on over, I’ll introduce you to my girlfriends.”

“You sure?” Samus was still cautious, but the girl was undeterred.

“Totally! You look hot, so the guys’ll be all over you, think of it as you helping us out.” She giggled once again, and Samus decided to let herself fall into the rhythm of this obvious party animal.

“I’m Cassie, what’s your name?” The girl asked, Samus realising that she hadn’t come up with an alias yet.

“I’m, uh, J-” Samus caught herself. She was about to say Jenni, the name of the insufferable party girl she had worked as a bodyguard for, but the idea of being stuck with that girl’s name as her identity, to put it bluntly, sucked. She really didn’t want to be reminded of that girl every time somebody talked to her.

“Jessica!” Samus quickly amended.

“Nice to meet ya, Jessie!” Cassie smiled. She took Samus’ hand, and in that moment was drawn into the clubbing life.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, particularly once Samus loosened herself up with a few drinks. There was lots of chatting, drinking, being hit on by men that Samus decided to tease and play with rather than be repulsed by, and dancing despite Samus having never danced once in her entire life before. She was unsteady on her feet by the time the group she had been drafted into stumbled out, most of them including Cassie having attached themselves to some macho show-offs, all of which Samus couldn’t even recognise the faces of through her blurry vision. Samus parted ways with the group, managing to find her way home where she promptly collapsed onto her bed, passing out then and there.

When she woke up, the previous night was like a dream. She was a little hung over, but her Chozo genes made sure she didn’t feel nearly as hammered as the other girls must have been at that moment. Had she really done all that? It had all seemed so easy after the first few drinks despite her misgivings. It almost felt like a dream until she heard a beep from the phone she had bought for her trip, a civilian model that was currently flashing with a notification from a certain Cassie.

Looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow! xx oo

Samus broke out into an uncontrollable grin. She didn’t even remember exchanging contact details with Cassie, that was how exciting her night had ended up being. How irresponsible, how unexpected of the Samus Aran to be so carefree! And not once had anybody even looked like they recognised her the entire day. Maybe she really would take up this girl on her offer after all…