“...so anyway, ‘cause I’m like, kinda horny when I wake up, I’m like, you wanna go a third time? And he’s like, yeah babe, totally,” Samus said to her gaggle of girlfriends around their cafe table, recounting her previous night and current morning, idly gesturing with her fork to emphasise her point. “‘An I’m suckin’ his dick and stuff and his phone goes off and ‘cause he’s such a dumbass he, like, lets it go to speaker and his girlfriend wants to know why he’s late for their breakfast date!”
There was a round of oohs and catcalling from most of the girls, Samus grinning as her friends joined in her disapproval.
“And I’m like, ugh, you’re sleeping with two women at once? Like I’m not good enough for you? Guys like that are, like, such trash.” Samus rolled her eyes and made a show of her disgust. “So anyway, after that I called my two other boyfriends and rearranged my dates so they, like, don’t find out, ‘cause that’d be like, such a hassle and I accidentally left my shopping at Dan’s place, so I don’t want Sam findin’ out before I get my stuff. I was totally just about to dump Dan already but like, he’s got the keys so I gotta do one more date with him first...”
“You don’t think it might be time to stop playing around like that?” Cassie said out of the blue, causing Samus to stumble a little.
“Uh, why?” Samus said, genuinely confused.
“Well, you know, you can’t really do that kind of thing forever.” Cassie said, her eyes distant as for once she seemed to be looking towards the future rather than living for the moment. “We’re getting older, you know? We can’t be doing the bachelorette routine for the rest of our lives.”
“Yeah, but I’m young and hot now.” Samus pointed out, having not thought once about her age in the last year. Getting old was the furthest thing from her mind. Was Cassie starting to get sentimental on her just because she had been going steady with her boyfriend for most of the year? Samus had sworn that she wouldn’t last longer than a month and yet they just refused to break up.
“That’s the point, now you are.” Cassie pointed out. “But what about in five years?”
“Well, Jessi’s still gonna be hot when she’s thirty.” Jenni giggled. “Trust me, we’re gonna be, like, the sexist grandmas ever.”
“Ew, gross.” Samus pouted at the idea. Getting old? Being a granny, even if a sexy one? No way! She cutely cleared her throat, a high pitched eh-hem sound that sounded like a small animal had made it. “I’m just gonna, like, think about that when it happens, okay? There’s no point worryin’ about it now.”
“Cassie’s right.” Krissi said unexpectedly, Samus having expected the rest of the group to blow her off and join in Samus’ sentiment, but the atmosphere had turned rather serious. “I was kinda thinking that the other day as well. I’m twenty-four now, that’s, like, practically ancient. This is totes the age where we’re supposed to be thinking about getting married ‘an stuff.”
“I know, right?” Jenni chipped in. “I thought I was gonna die if I ever hit twenty-four.”
Hang on a moment, Samus thought as her eyes flickered around the table as Cassie, Krissi, Daisy, Ashley, and Jenni all confirmed that they were either twenty-three or twenty-four years old. Hang on, hang on, hang on! Samus was twenty-nine, and these girls were acting like it was the end of the world hitting twenty-five! Despite her armour of the finest genes money could buy, Samus suddenly felt like she would age and turn to dust at any moment. Her friends were all so young! She was like a total grandma compared to them!
“Yeah, well, it’s not that you look twenty-four, right?” Samus said to Jenni desperately, more for her own reassurance than her BFF’s. Samus may have been almost thirty, but it wasn’t like you could tell after all of her splices, and thanks to her copycat friend circle, Cassie was the only one at the table who looked a day over nineteen. “So, like, it’s not like you really are or whatever, right?”
“It’s not about being twenty-four on the outside, it’s about being twenty-four on, like, the inside or whatevs.” Jenni said sagely, getting a round of nods from the group. This dealt a devastating blow to Samus’ mental defences as she realised there was no escape, and bitterly cursed Samus Aran for wasting her golden party girl years on dumb stuff like saving the galaxy. She could have spent her twenty-first birthday doing body shots with hunks, but nooooo, she had to spend it killing Ridley for the first time!
“Two years ago I never thought I’d hold a boyfriend for more than, like, a month, but I’ve been going steady with my guy for four months now, and it’s like, way better than my last eight boyfriends put together.” Ashley commented, bringing the topic back around. “And I’m like, why wasn’t I doing this before?”
“Same here.” Daisy agreed. “But you know me, I was never into the one-week-boyfriend thing, I just wanted to find the right guy. And you know, I’ve got needs to fill every now and then, but those guys don’t count if I don’t even get their number.”
“Come on, it can’t be that great.” Samus laughed nervously. Come to think of it, most of her girlfriends had been going steady with their boyfriends, save for Jenni, who belonged only to the party. Even if she was otherwise alone, at least she could count on Jenni to back her up!
“Yeah, I was thinking, I totes got to get myself someone like Cassie’s.” Jenni smiled, as Samus looked on in horror, brushed aside without a second thought. “You two are, like, the cutest couple!”
“Yeah, well I haven’t found a guy who thinks I’m more than just a walking pair of tits. Those guys are worth three dates at best.” Samus found herself saying amidst the positivity, surprisingly bitter at the fact that she seemed to be the odd woman out. She began to tap her fork against the table irritably. Guys were pigs and they didn’t deserve her, so why was this bugging her? Was it just because they had something she didn’t? She couldn’t help but feel like it was more than that.
“Come on Jess, your perfect guy’s gotta be out there.” Daisy put a hand on her shoulder in sympathy, her enormous breasts wobbling slightly from the gentle impact. Well, Samus thought to herself smugly as she glimpsed down at her breasts clad in a skimpy pink dress, who wouldn’t look at these boobs and see her as the best walking pair of tits they had ever seen?
“I could totally find him if I wanted. I’m just… not trying right now.” Samus said weakly. “And even if I did, there’s no way he’d be marriage material! There’s no way there’s a guy any girls of our standard would wanna marry on this colony.”
“Well, actually, about that...” Cassie said with a blush, and Samus blundered right in like a knight tripping over his own suit of armour.
“What, you’re getting married now?” Samus scoffed sarcastically.
“Uh… yeah. Neil proposed last night.” Cassie said gently, then smiled awkwardly, lifting her hand to show off the engagement ring on her slender finger. “Surprise!”
Samus’ fork that she had been waving around fell to the table with a clatter, her mouth hanging open even more dumbly than ever. Five identical expressions of shock stared at Cassie. Then, the table burst into an uproar...
*****
As Samus carelessly swiped away a number of notifications on her phone, one stuck out: her monthly bank statement. Normally Samus wouldn’t have paid it any mind, and indeed for the last two years she hadn’t. Her bounty hunting fortune had seemed nigh-infinite, and she had expected to make up the losses with her illustrious modelling career. As a result, she had spent freely and carelessly, without as much as a thought of what might happen if the monetary demands of her lavish lifestyle ever outstripped her fortunes. Had her career taken off the way she had intended, perhaps she wouldn’t have been forced to think about it for once, but now the alert from her bank was unavoidable.
Let’s see, Samus thought to herself as she scrolled down the list of expenses she had incurred last month. Samus wasn’t one for math, but even as somebody who would flunk just about any math test she was given right now that involved more than three digits at a time, one thing was obvious: that negative number was a lot bigger than the plus, and her fortune was rapidly declining. If Samus had looked at the raw numbers and broken it down, which she absolutely did not have half the patience to do, she would have discovered that her bounty hunting fortune was in fact completely gone. Every last credit of it had been spent in a tornado of thoughtless spending, leaving a respectable but far more modest amount left over from her year as a slightly successful career model.
Thankfully, with the help of her bank’s projections, it was clear as day to Samus that she had a time limit on her bachelorette status. At the rate she was going, she’d last a scant few months before she was dead broke and out on the streets. Well, not quite out on the streets. Her apartment alone was worth a fortune with how much money she had put into it, but it would break her heart to part with the apartment she had turned into what appeared to be a sized up bright pink dollhouse.
Worst of all, she’d be the only girl who wasn’t rich amongst her friends! The idea was humiliating, and Samus shuddered at the thought that she might walk up to her friends and tell them sorry, but she was trying to save a little this month, so could they perhaps go to the beach today instead of shopping? Worse yet, asking somebody like Jenni for money! Sure, Jenni occasionally covered the expenses of their partying or the odd group splice, but that was just common courtesy! Samus had done the same for her besties many times, as had the others. As a group of rich heiresses, the idea that their money might dry up one day was the furthest thing from their minds, as all of them besides Samus were self-sustaining thanks to their families. Meanwhile, Samus was a self-made rich girl, and had neglected to keep making it.
“Maybe I should cool it off a little for a couple of months, just until I land a rich hottie…” Samus uttered to herself thoughtfully, running a finger along her fluffy bottom lip as she traced the top lip with her talon-like nail. Touching her lips had become an unconscious action thanks to the very slight pleasure she felt from the touch due to her enhancements, and when Samus was thinking she had a tendency to raise a finger to her lip, having more space to work with than if she were to stroke her chin. It tended to make her look extra vapid, and Samus wasn’t even conscious of her habit most of the time.
It seemed like a sensible enough suggestion to herself at first. Sure, she had the self-confidence to believe that if she really wanted to she could net a rich boyfriend in a week or less, but she immediately blanched once she realised what this would entail. All of the expenditures that would be first on the chopping block were all staples of her daily life, none of which she was willing to part ways with individually, let alone all at once. Sure, she could tone them down, but she was Jessi Hale! She took pride in not toning things down.
So for starters, she couldn’t just cut back. No matter how she looked at her list of expenses, these were all essentials! First there were the basic living necessities: makeup, hair products, skincare products, nail polish, and the like. Samus and her mane went through a lot of shampoo and conditioner, going through a whole bottle in a few days on average, and it would last less depending on how picky she was feeling. Next was another vital essential: her clothing budget. To cut down on this was simply unthinkable! It was practically a work expense, she should try to see if she could charge it to her workplace. Shopping for clothes was her passion, a buzz that she couldn’t go more than a few days without. It would be better to be seen naked than seen in public without the most up-to-date fashions. So she couldn’t cut that!
Similarly was splicing. Samus was downright offended at the mere thought of letting her beautiful body rust and decline, unable to keep up with an ever-advancing world. The tiny, ridiculously busty shortstack kicked her short, thick legs irritably from her bed, lightly pounding the pink covers with her matching varnished toes. She didn’t even take up half the length of her enormous bed, which personally she felt made her extra fuckable, like a tiny island in a sea of bed. Anybody could see that she still had so much more to work with, her body was still a work in progress! It was really another thing that the agency should be paying her for! In fact, all of these things should be business expenses! How could they expect her to even leave her house without them?
Sure, if she cut down her products, only bought new clothes once a month or so, and didn’t splice she’d easily break even, but was she even living if she did that? That was like, all of her hobbies! What else was there even to do? No sir, this simply would not do. Samus reinforced her determination to dig for gold, because that was the only thing that could sustain her lavish lifestyle at this point. Asking your average person to lower their standard of living was hard enough, let alone somebody as thoroughly spoiled as Samus was at this point.
There were a few ways she could skimp on cash in the meantime, Samus figured. She could rely on guys to pay her food and drink bills whenever she was out, that would be easy enough. And she could thrust the bill for her shopping on a new boyfriend at least once, and she tended to go through boyfriends at a rate of one date per boyfriend, maybe two or three if they had a huge cock…
Samus paused, then giggled. Why was she still acting like she was going to go through boyfriends like she went through expensive tiny bottles of hair conditioner? She was only going to be aiming for big fish from now on, where all she had to do was cling to their arms and put her body to work to never have to worry about another bill in her life. This was going to be a piece of cake!
But what if it took longer than she thought? One last vestigial piece of unconfidence manifested in her reckless and bloated ego. Maybe she should relax a little on the splicing, it was easily costing the most in her bills due to her habit of going in every time she thought of a tiny thing to change, barely noticeable to the naked eye. Perhaps it would be better to land a guy and tweak herself to his tastes? She could be literally made for him…
Samus mulled it over, then disregarded it. The more she thought about it, the more it bothered her. Her body was not for him, whoever it might be, it was for the whole world! Her body was carefully crafted to be as beautiful as possible to as many people as possible, save for those with unsalvageably poor taste. This was why her hip to bust ratio remained a perfect hourglass, as to not split the vote on tits vs ass. And more than that, her body was for her! She always thought of herself first, and making herself happy meant making sure that everybody thought that she was beautiful. If she couldn’t be considered the most beautiful, then what did she even have? The fact that everybody was copying her was proof that she was right. What if she did something different and they stopped copying her? It would spell doom for Jessi Hale.
Samus did her best to stop these worries from wrinkling her perfectly smooth brow. It was times like this when she wanted to book an appointment out of habit, to see if she could get that pleasant buzz of smoothing out some perceived imperfections. But she held off on booking any appointments just in case. She had to remain ahead of the curve than try to catch up, but she had a little time to work with. She just had to land a man before her copycat situation got even worse...
*****
“Like, thanks for the new wardrobe baby,” Samus cooed while clinging to the arm of Brad, her newest and longest lasting boyfriend.
The tall, handsome man was pretty much the total package. He was young, rich, handsome, rich, had a nice body, and was rich. They’d met in a club three weeks ago and had been going steady ever since she’d given him half a dozen blowjobs that fateful night.
“No problem, Jess,” Brad grinned, slapping her ass possessively as they walked through the mall. “Gotta keep my girl looking hot, right?”
“Totally.”
“So what say we hit up the Splicing clinic next?” Brad asked with a grin. “I’ve been wanting to see what you’d look like with better boobs since we started seeing each other.”
Samus quirked her giant lips in what passed as a scowl for her overly spliced, inexpressive face. She did want to make her breasts bigger at some point since she needed to stay current, but having her boyfriend be the one to suggest it made it seem wrong somehow. She was supposed to be doing these splices for herself and her career, not because some boy wanted them. She was a strong independent woman, after all and didn’t want to make herself over just to get some guy to like her more.
“Like, maybe next weekend, baby,” Samus cooed, drawing his muscular arm farther into her cleavage. “I wanna go home and show off my new underwear for you,” she added with a naughty giggle, hoping to distract him from his suggestion.
*****
Two weeks later, Samus was regretting a lot of life choices while she was out on a date with Brad.
It had started nice enough. He’d bought her a fancy dinner while she sucked his cock under the table like she was supposed to. He’d also complimented her new dress and how well it showed off her recently spliced boobs that he’d paid for, despite her funny feelings about changing herself for a guy instead of herself. But the money he had saved her was too good to pass up, so she let it happen. Besides, she was probably going to make her boobs bigger sooner or later anyway.
But then things got awkward. Right in the middle of dessert, a tiny blonde in the same dress as Samus showed up, and started screaming at Brad.
“What the fuck, Brad?!” she wailed. “I totally knew you were cheating on me!”
Samus blinked in confusion, staring in shock at the other woman. She was a tiny, absurdly curvy blonde, just like Samus, but her butt was a bit bigger than Samus’s. Since they were wearing the same dress (probably both bought by Brad) and had the same calf-length platinum blonde hair and ginormous uber-spliced boobs, it would’ve been hard for most people to tell them apart.
“I-I can explain, Bunny!” Brad stammered, looking back and forth between the two women in panic.
“This is, like, so not cool,” Bunny stomped her foot. “I’m your wife, you’re supposed to, like, only buy me splices to make me hotter.”
“You’re married?!?!” Samus gasped in horror at her boyfriend.
“Does that really matter?” Brad scoffed. “We both knew what this was, Jessi.”
Had she been the other woman this whole time? This was so not cool.
Before Brad could say any more, Samus rose from the table and ran out of the restaurant, holding back her tears.
*****
Two months later, Samus had put that unfortunate incident behind her. She’d found a much better sugar daddy than dumb old Brad. Lou Leffer might’ve been old enough to be her grandfather, but he was rich enough to buy a few planets and owned a famous modeling agency, Playtoy Publishing, so dating him was helping her career too. It was a total two-for-one deal as far as she was concerned.
“Like, how does this bikini look, Louey?” Samus posed, thrusting back her new butt that the old man had bought her. Her thong practically vanished between the enormous tan cheeks of her ass, causing the only sign of its existence to be the dental floss thin pink strings that were stretched over her incredibly wide hips.
If she were to be completely honest, Samus admitted that she hadn’t planned on upgrading her already outrageous ass just yet, but her new boyfriend had been insistent, and she had reluctantly given in to make sure she kept up with her competition. Besides, it was just part of staying one step ahead of the crowd, or whatever. Plus it helped even her out after stupid Brad had thrown her perfect boob to butt ratio out of whack. Yeah, when she thought of it like that it bothered her less.
“Like, but what about my bikini, Louey?” cooed the identical blonde on Samus’s left.
“You both look great,” Lou said between grunts as he wrapped his hands around the third naked blonde who was writhing around on his lap. The old man may have needed to eat a pound of pills a day to keep up with his three girlfriends, but the money he gave them every week more than made up for it. “And I’m sure Jessi will look great in her swimsuit when we’re done. Isn’t that right, doll?” he grinned as he gave a possessive grope to the girl’s enormous chest.
“Like, I’m Jessi,” Samus sighed. “That’s Bessi.”
Really, the only downside to dating Lou Leffer was that the old horn-dog never had only one girlfriend. She knew that getting into it with him and hoped that after Brad’s cheating and secret keeping, it’d be better, but it didn’t feel much better. Samus’s co-girlfriends were Bessi and Julie, another pair of ultra spliced models she’d met a few times over the past year. So while she was glad to know that she was hot enough to make the famous publisher want all his girlfriends to look like her, she didn’t know what to do to make herself stand out and get Louey to put a ring on it.
The fact that he paid for all their splices to make sure all his girlfriends matched all the time made it that much harder since the old man couldn’t tell any of his girls apart when they were all together.
*****
“What’s wrong Jessi? You’ve barely touched the new catalogue.” Jenni asked, concern in her big blue eyes as her bestie hadn’t even filled one shopping bag on their day out just yet. She had sensed that her BFFsie was feeling down lately and had attempted to take her out on a personal date to cheer her up,
“Oh, it’s like, ya know, like, yeah, ‘n stuff.” Samus mumbled, holding up a pink leopard print miniskirt that hardly excited her right now. “You get it?”
“Uh, I, like, don’t get it. You’re, like, way out of it today, and I’m, like, not a mind reader, ya know?” Jenni shook her head, sending her huge twintails tussling. As a chronic avoider of stress, she knew it when she saw it, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it in her own way. “First rule of being practically sisters, you gotta tell me what’s wrong!”
Samus let out a breathy high-pitched sigh at her near twin. She couldn’t tell her about her money woes, as that would be utterly humiliating to reveal that she wasn’t on the same level as the wealthy heiress. Maybe she hadn’t ever been to begin with. Samus began to droop, deciding that at this point a little context couldn’t hurt. Jenni was one of Zathor-4’s premiere gossip hounds, and would get some form of truth out of her eventually.
“Even if I, like, buy all this stuff, I’m not gonna get to wear most of it.” Samus said sadly, the two settling into a nearby trendy cafe as Jenni’s feeble arms’ energy wouldn’t allow her to carry her shopping bags long enough to hear Samus’ woes.
“Why not, though?” Jenni asked after ordering a latte. “There’s like, two and a half weeks until it’s out of season, so, like, that’s only two outfits a day which is super easy!”
“That’s not it. I’ve gotta wear what my boyfriend likes.” Samus explained.
“It’s your boyfriend.” Jenni pointed at her for emphasis. “He should like whatever you wear because you’re wearing it!”
“He’s a guy who knows what he wants, and he wants what he wants.” Samus had ordered a girly drink far earlier in the day than she normally did, and was already wondering if she should buy seconds. “If he says today is booty shorts day, I gotta wear ‘em. And if I don’t wear a skirt when he says so, he gets all grumpy.”
That wasn’t even getting into the half of it, Samus was reluctant to say out loud, deciding she’d definitely embarrass herself if she mentioned Lou’s special uniform for his girls to wear around the house. Lou had spent at least forty years with not a single woman telling him no, and she was worried she’d burn her chance if she stepped out of line without amassing enough influence within his harem to make him unable to live without her. But what did that even entail?
“Well your boyfriend sounds like a real jerk.” Jenni said flat out. “I’m not saying you should dump him, but, like, you should totally dump him. And if he comes crawling back, then you tell him what you think about thinking he can tell a girl what to wear!”
“Yeah, but he’s rich.” Samus mumbled.
“So what? I’m rich and I don’t commit crimes against fashion.” Jenni said confidently, reminding Samus of the gap between them. “He sounds like he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Then who does?” Samus wondered.
“Somebody who, like, loves you on the inside and, like, lets you do whatever you want ‘cause they wanna make you happy. I bet a girl like you could totes find somebody who’d fall for them right now in this room.” Jenni smiled encouragingly.
“I dunno, the guys in here aren’t that hot.” Samus peered around the mostly empty cafe. “You’re the hottest one in here and you aren’t even a guy.”
“I’m okay with that,” Jenni giggled. “But we’re like, the same level of sexy, so that makes both of us the sexiest girl in the room. So does that mean you gotta fall in love with one of us?”
“I would never fall in love with myself.” Samus said confidently, remembering a word she had overheard recently. “That would make me a nar, narsissy, narcissist. And I’m totally not one of those.”
*****
“Like, this so isn’t fair, Louey,” Samus pouted as she looked across the living room of her sugar daddy’s mansion.
“How isn’t it fair, dear?” the old man asked in a patient tone. “I offered you girls a chance to be centerfolds in this month’s edition of Playtoy. You were the only one who said no, honey bunny.”
“Yeah, but that’s cuz, like, I’m too classy for porn,” Samus weakly protested.
She didn’t feel classy wearing Lou’s “girlfriend uniform” as she was. The bright pink bunnysuit, fishnets, and heels combo might have been a classic look, but it was also so associated with Lou Leffer’s brand of cheap interchangeable floozies that it was starting to drive Samus nuts. She didn’t want to be part of a matched set, she wanted to be a guy’s one and only! That made it a lot easier to get money out of rich guys since they wouldn’t be spending it on other girls.
“And that’s fine,” Lou nodded. “Truth be told, I’m a bit possessive, so it’s nice to know that at least one of my girls isn’t out there flashing her tits for the entire galaxy to masturbate to.”
Samus’s huge blue eyes blinked in confusion. Was this the sign that she wanted? Did this mean that she’d finally gotten ahead of the other girls in the harem? Was this her chance at landing the big one?
“Like, do you really mean that, Louey?” she squeaked in a small voice.
“I do,” Lou grinned, beckoning her to sit on his lap. “That’s why when Bessie and Jessi move on to bigger and better things in a few months, I want you to be the one to help me pick out their replacements, Julie.”
“...actually, I’m Jessi,” Samus sighed and paused right before her enormous ass landed on his lap.
“Oh. Sorry,” Lou chuckled in feigned embarrassment. “Does it really matter though? We both know how this works, Jess.”
“Yeah, but, like, what if I don’t want it to work like this no more?” Samus rounded on him, her face turning red. Normally Samus couldn't work up the drive to contradict such a powerful, confident man, and the way he made it sound so obvious and natural almost made her back down and think to herself that she was just being silly by getting so worked up about it. But discontentment had been bubbling up for a while now, and enough was enough. “What if I don’t wanna share?”
“Then you should find someone else to take care of you,” Lou sighed, shaking his head. “Monogamy has never been my thing. I assumed that was the case for you as well considering how eager you were to join us and have me buy you and the other girls splices.”
He didn’t sound angry, more like he was disappointed. But him being calm just made Samus all the more mad.
“Well, like, you can keep your dumb ol’ splices!” Samus said as she pulled the decorative bunny ears headband from her head and threw it onto the ground. “Like, we’re totally done! I’m gonna find a guy who just wants one girl to be his totally hot arm candy and makes me feel special!”
During her uncharacteristic rant, the old man had been rearing back and trying to give the tiny blonde some space. By the time she finished yelling, his expression fell and a look of comprehension came over his wrinkled features. “I hope you do find someone like that,” Lou said with an almost kind smile. “Keep the uniform. It makes your ass look fantastic. Let me know if you ever change your mind. Good luck out there, Krissy.”
“It’s Jessi,” Samus growled before pivoting on her heels and walking out of the man’s mansion and his life.
*****
“Ugh, I should have gotten Louey to buy me that ring. Then I could have, like, at least gotten some more money out of him,” Samus grumbled as she painted her nails on her bed, a largely unnecessary act of vanity given she had spliced herself to have naturally tinted fingernails that nonetheless helped relax her after that bad experience. A constant flow of vapid celebrity gossip droned from Samus’ TV, telling tales of the ostentatious parties that Samus was reminded that she could no longer afford to hold. Money was tight recently, and she had been leaning almost entirely on her rich boyfriends to fund her lavish lifestyle. When she was between targets, Samus had to limit herself to going clothes shopping only twice a week and waiting until she was close to running out of products before buying more, a concession of poverty that galled a socialite like her. How could anybody live like this?
It was all she could do to tell herself that it was merely a safety measure to make sure that she didn’t have to cut down on her splicing budget. No matter how minute the adjustment, it was an essential maintenance to keep her ahead of the crowd. Even then, Samus was starting to feel like she was at her wit’s end as to how to differentiate herself from even her own social circle. Bigger boobs, a better ass? Her perfectly balanced melons were big enough that she’d have to go up at least another two cup sizes before anybody noticed. Her face was so smooth and doll-like that she didn’t have even the slightest creases when she scowled and pouted, and her doctor warned her that if she bloated her lips much further with the current splicing technology she’d have a speech impediment.
As Dolly had joked on her last trip three weeks ago, splicing was at the point where any major changes were more to do with personal preference than anything. Samus bit her puffy lip, her painted eyebrows curling the only way to tell that she was frustrated. She tried to distract herself with the TV after she applied a protective layer to her nails that dried them almost instantly, but the busty reporter was like looking into a mirror, and even she was only distinguishable from many women you could find on the street these days by her badge and pink uniform. However, she eventually said something that managed to capture Samus’ attention.
“...and in other news, the Federation has reported that they’ve discovered a spacecraft believed to belong to the long-missing Samus Aran right here on Zathor-4!”
Samus perked up, all ears as the camera showed an extremely dusty and dull orange ship being towed away by the Federation military. Oh right, her ship! She had totally forgotten all about that old thing! Samus’ first thought was that they could have it, but then she groaned and rolled over on her bed. She totally could have sold it to afford her next shopping trip! SHe was sure that old piece of junk could, like, at least afford a week or two’s worth of dresses! It was of course worth far more than that, but Samus had long forgotten the value of her own equipment.
“The Federation has claimed the rights to Samus’ famous power suit in her absence, and has announced plans to reverse engineer the Chozo technology that powers it…” The reporter continued on, Samus turning up her nose at the concept. That was her trademark, they should just keep their hands off.
“Good luck with that.” Samus said dismissively. “Those old guys are like, way too dumb to use my stuff. I’m the only one smart and talented enough to wear it. You gotta be, like, wise ‘n stuff.”
Not that she’d wear something that ugly and uncomfortable these days. She couldn’t even imagine wearing something that stuffy and sweaty, let alone doing actual physical labour in it! She had done her time in the pits, right now it was her job to live as comfortably as possible.
“Ah!” Samus realised all of a sudden, slapping her perfectly smooth forehead in realization. “I could have, like, totally sold it!”
Samus cursed her lack of foresight, confident that she could have totally taken those Federation bozos for a ride by making them pay top dollar for a suit that they couldn’t even figure out how to use, let alone mass produce. Well, this was still fine by her. The suit had some sentimental value, but Samus could barely remember what that sentiment was. She could settle for the knowledge that ten years from now, she’d still be the only one who ever wore anything that looked like it. That was pretty much a fashionista’s dream, after all.
But anyway, there were more important things that some dumb old tin can, like her trip to the club tonight. She needed to get fucked and work off all of this stress before she came up with her next plan...
*****
Though Samus was too proud to admit it, her next plan was pretty much the same as her last plan - find a sugar daddy to take care of her growing financial issues. Once she’d broadened her horizons a bit, she was having much better luck than her last two semi-successful attempts. Jessi and her current boyfriend, Marcus, had come to an “understanding” and been going steady for almost three whole months now.
Like Brad, Marcus was young, rich, and hot since he was a recently retired Spaceball player who had gone into acting. Like Lou, he was always upfront about what he wanted and expected out of a girlfriend. And what he wanted was some pretty arm candy to show off at events and parties, something Jessi Hale was all too happy to be. On his arm at red carpet events and galas, she was finally starting to feel like the star she was always meant to be. Sure, the tabloids kept getting her mixed up with other identical models, but she knew that sooner or later, the name Jessi Hale would be a regular on all the best magazines and gossip sites.
Unfortunately, also like Lou Leffer, Marcus wasn’t remotely a one-woman man. Sure, he wasn’t the type to parade around in public with three identical bimbos dressed as bunnygirls, but it was also obvious there were other women on the side for him. Samus simply brushed it off and took pride in being his main girl. She was the only one he took to parties and bought splices for. Sure, there were some nights, she’d get a text from him that said ‘Seeing one of the side girls tonight. Sorry.’ But that was more of a courtesy than Brad ever gave her and unlike Lou, Samus didn’t need to ever see or share him with the other girls, so she took that as proof of how serious he was about her.
“How’s the upgrade feel, babe?” Marcus grinned, playfully smacking Samus on her enormous ass that followed her around like some kind of bumper.
The tiny blonde moaned and suppressed a shudder at his action. She’d wanted to get an upgrade to her curves again to balance things out after her last two boyfriends threw things out of whack on her perfect hourglass figure. Marcus had been all too happy to pay for it, but he’d insisted on throwing in something for himself as well.
After realizing that his girlfriend had given herself a lip sensitivity upgrade or two from her splicing and having lots of first hand experience at how eager it made her, Marcus wanted to give her an equally intense sensitivity splice for her over-inflated breasts and ass. Samus was too grateful for him covering it all to refuse his request.
Now though, she was starting to regret it. Sure, it made pretty much everything remotely sexy feel ten times better, since a simple grope or a playful spank could leave her a squirming satisfied mess, but it was taking a lot to get used to. She gave herself some small sensitivity upgrades ages ago, but this was a whole new level and made it kind of awkward for her when she was out in public with him. If she sat down on a hard chair too fast or if someone accidentally bumped into her boobs (a fact of life at their current absurd size), Samus would either get so worked up she needed Marcus to take care of her right then and there, or she’d look like some kind of chap slut who’d just come in public and find everyone staring at her, and not in a good way.
She wanted people watching her because they were jealous of how hot she was, not because she was the weird girl who soaked through her thong after bonking her boobs against someone’s elbow.
But that was something to worry about another time. Tonight was another fancy red carpet event as Marcus’s arm candy. Samus was wearing the newest, sluttiest Le Blanche dress she could find and had her absurd mane of blonde curls done up into a pair of curly pigtails that hung down past her knees, the latest hair fad on Zathor-4. She looked and felt like the perfect trophy girlfriend and hopefully soon, she’d be the perfect trophy wife and never need to worry about money again. Things were finally looking up.
...or at least that’s what she thought.
“Oh em gee! Marky!” squealed a high pitched voice that Samus instinctively knew spelt trouble.
Fighting through the crowd to get to them was a pretty brunette(!) girl wearing a clingy black minidress. It had been so long since Samus had seen a woman with anything other than blonde hair that it threw her off guard. Aside from its strange color, her hair was also kind of on the short side, barely coming down past her giant bubble butt. She was also weirdly tall for a girl, standing at an impressive 5’6” that meant she was nearly at eye level with most men while she tottered around in her 5 inch heels.
She had the same doll-like face of most spliced girls, but her body was a far cry from Samus’s social circle and their devotion to the perfect hourglass and the phrase ‘bigger is better.’ Her breasts were barely bigger than her head, practically pancakes compared to Samus’s new mammoth mammaries, but the girl’s hips and ass were downright insane in comparison, almost as big as Samus’s own, giving the brunette an impressively pear-shaped figure.
“Oh, hey Monica,” Marcus casually waved in greeting.
Monica?! Samus recognized that name from Marcus’s phone. One of his numerous “side chicks” as he’d always called them. When she’d learned early on that there were other girls in his life, she’d been mad, until Marcus told her that she was the hottest of them all and was the only one he’d bring to big events and do special things for. It made Samus feel a bit better, knowing that she was the top girl in his harem, unlike with Lou, but it didn’t make her feel as good as she thought it would.
Knowing there were other girls and seeing those other girls were two very different matters as it turned out. Samus swelled with pride as she compared herself to this other girl. She’d been picturing Marcus’s other girls as more copies of herself, but it felt good to know that Monica wasn’t nearly as sexy as her. Hopefully, all the other girls were like that, not being able to hold a candle to Jessi Hale. Who could, after all?
...So why did she feel so bad when Marcus stood and chatted to this other girl for a few minutes before waving goodbye? This was exactly what she wanted, wasn’t it? She was the hottest girl, had a rich boyfriend to be her sugar daddy, and she was in the lead against all her competition.
She was winning. Why didn’t she feel better?
The night continued on, with Samus soaking up attention on the arm of her man while paparazzi took pictures of her and Marcus. Hopefully, this time they’d get her name right. This was exactly what she needed, a mutually beneficial relationship where she used her man for money and fame, and he used her for sex and the vanity points of having such a good trophy on his arm. Everyone wins.
So why did her mind keep drifting back to stupid Monica and her stupid hair and stupid face? Why was she getting so mad at the idea of Marcus going to that girl later in the week instead of taking Samus out? She knew what he had with Monica had to be meaningless and was only using her for sex, so why was it makign her feel so twisted up inside?
Finally, towards the end of the event, when most of the reporters had packed up, Samus took Marcus aside, doing her best to look stern and serious with her perpetually cute and doll-like face.
“Like, I don’t want you seeing that skank Monica anymore,” Samus said with as much force as her soft, squeaky voice could muster.
Marcus burst out laughing. “Ha, that’s a good one, babe,” he sighed, wiping a tear of laughter away from his dark brown eyes. “Wait, are you serious?” he asked in an incredulous tone. “C’mon, Jess, we both know what this is.”
She hated hearing that phrase again. “Goodbye, Marcus,” Samus scowled, before turning and walking away.
*****
Before she knew it, it was Cassie’s wedding day. Samus was incredibly happy for her friend, but also felt odd, not having a date for the big day. Her 5 boyfriends after Marcus had been even worse than him and incredibly short lived, with the last one lasting a total of 3 days.
Samus was a bit annoyed that she wasn’t Cassie’s Maid of Honor, but Cassie and Daisy had known each other for way longer and Daisy was better at all the boring organizing stuff Maids of Honor were supposed to help with. Regular bridesmaids like Samus just needed to wear the right dress, look pretty, and be happy for her bestie. That was something that even Samus could do no problem.
She really was happy for Cassie. She didn’t know him super well, but Neil seemed like a nice, non-creepy guy every time she’d met him. And besides, he seemed to only have eyes for Cassie, despite being surrounded by all sorts of super spliced mega hotties. It was almost enough to make Samus think that love wasn’t totally dead and made up.
And so Samus decided that she wouldn’t focus on any of the yucky feelings that had been in her head the past couple months. She wouldn’t think about her dwindling bank account, her growing fears of not being the hottest girl in the galaxy, or the odd clawing pain in her chest that definitely wasn’t loneliness whenever she heard her friends talk about their boyfriends and fiances.
She was Jessi Hale and she was the hottest, sexiest, happiest, and most supportive-est friend in the galaxy. Nothing was going to ruin Cassie’s special day, especially not herself.
Besides, she looked too good to be sad right now. Whoever said that bridesmaid dresses were ugly didn’t know what they were talking about. Samus, Jenni, Krissi, Daisy, and Ashely were all wearing the newest line of Le Blache’s formal dresses, ‘Minimal Miss.’ They were as fancy and expensive as they were skimpy.
Samus and her BFFs/doppelgangers were all wearing matching pink dresses. The hemlines were a lot longer than Samus and her friends usually wore these days, but the super high leg cuts on both sides of the skirt made the dresses a lot sexier. The tops of the dresses were done in a cross-wrap pattern that exposed a huge amount of side and underboob while leaving their tiny waists exposed by the large triangular opening above the skirt and below the top. Because the dresses were backless, the only things holding them in place were the delicate straps of the cross wrap that went behind their necks in a thin strip of pink fabric.
The group had, save for Samus, once again gotten excited over the idea of matching, which fit the theme of supporting Cassie’s big day rather than necessarily trying to steal the show on their own. Which made sense to Samus, given that she was, she hated to say, way hotter than Cassie who, while naturally hot as hell, refused to improve herself with splicing, which Samus didn’t get at all. Still, it had worked out for her, so she had never pestered her about it, and she had agreed to match her sexy dress with the others.
She comforted herself with the knowledge that she would stand out on her own, but for some reason it felt like a hollow reassurance today.
*****
The ceremony was too long and boring for her tastes, but she had to admit, Cassie looked great in her wedding dress. She might not have been a super spliced super hottie like Samus and the others, but she was still super hot by the old standards, and was dressed to remind everyone of that fact.
Cassie’s gorgeous white dress had a plunging neckline that showed off her naturally hefty, though not gigantic breasts, while the mermaid-cut skirt and train was cut and contoured to perfectly hug and outline the curve of her perky bubble butt and round hips. Samus was reluctant to admit it, but against a sea of almost identical girls on the altar and scattered among the wedding’s audience, it made Cassie the most noticeable and memorable girl in the whole church.
Considering how huge Cassie’s social circle of friends and acquaintances was and how many of her female friends were rich themselves, Samus felt like she was at a modeling convention considering how many of the women in the audience were essentially identical to her and her friends. Some of them were even wearing the same ‘Minimal Miss’ dress as the bridesmaids, just in different colors. Samus was already dreading trying to tag herself for her social media profiles in all the photos that were going to happen today. Would she even know which one of the 50 identical girls was her?
The happy couple said their vows, talking about how they’d met over two years ago while Cassie was at a charity event for an old school friend. They’d had some friends in common, but had never met before then, but sparks started to…
Samus tuned the rest of the vows out. She didn’t want to hear another reminder of how lucky her friend was. She tried to console herself with the knowledge that as nice as Neil was, he wasn’t even rich or anything and had a boring normal guy job, so he couldn’t have been that perfect of a guy for Cassie.
When Cassie and Niel kissed and officially became husband and wife, Samus still happily clapped for her friend, even though her mind was miles away.
*****
Samus was pulled back to reality at the wedding reception when the bride came to pull her away from the bar for some more photos of the wedding party.
“You okay there, Jessi?” Cassie asked cautiously as Jessi seemed unsteady on her feet. Samus had been the first to flee to the drinks at the afterparty, avoiding the company of even Jenni who had been loudly describing how her dream wedding would be at least eight times larger than this, having gotten herself excited after catching the bouquet at the expense of nearly bowling over three other women to do so. It was unusual for her to be antisocial on such a big day for such a close friend, and Cassie was forced to admit that she had deliberately overlooked the fact that Jessi seemed to be somewhat strained lately to focus on herself. And who could blame her? But right now she could afford to take a moment out of her day for her.
“Just peary!” Samus giggled, one hand on the table for support. “Uh, I mean peachy! I mean, I totes meant to say that. I would never say something I, like, didn’t mean!”
“Have you been saying things you don’t mean lately?” Cassie asked straight out, and Samus’ eyes went wide as if she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar despite loudly announcing that she was absolutely not about to stick her hand in the cookie jar.
“Nuh-uh!” Samus shook her head.
“It’s okay to be honest with us, Jess,” Cassie said with a patient, knowing smile. “We’re your friends and we all love you. You don’t always have to worry so much about fitting in.”
“B-because I, like, fit in so good already, right?” Samus asked, hoping she was right and hoping Cassie would stop doing… whatever the hell this was.
“Y’know, when you first came to Zathor-4 a few years ago, I had you pegged as a girl who needed a friend,” Cassie said, taking Samus’s tiny hand in her own. “You were so eager to fit in that I didn’t want to say anything when you started changing yourself. I figured you just needed a long vacation after everything that happened to your family.”
“Yeah, but that was a really long time ago…” Samus mumbled, and thankfully for her cover story that she could barely remember in her drunken state on top of it going unquestioned for years, Cassie interpreted it as Jessi merely referring to shortly before they met, which was indeed a very long time ago by now, particularly for those who lived without thinking much further than the current day.
“Maybe it’s time for a vacation for that vacation.” Cassie suggested gently.
“Uh, no, no vacations. Can’t afford ‘em.” Samus slurred out. “‘n less my boyfriend buys it for me.”
“Can’t afford…” Cassie got a bad feeling about this. “Is money a problem for you right now?”
““No, no, I had a lot of money. I mean, I have! I have a lot of money.” Samus hurriedly said, visibly panicking a little. “But, like, I should prob’ly ask for a raise from my agent, right? Bein’ pretty costs a lot, and it’s like, a lifetime of cash is actually like, not actually a lifetime… But ya know, it’s no big deal if, like, I’m dating the right guy, right?”
Cassie was silent, unwilling to interrupt as Samus continued to trip on her words.
“I just gotta keep trying, right? “Til I get famous, ‘til I get the right guy, ‘til I figure out how to stop all those bitches from copying me every time I get prettier…” Samus continued. “Uh, not Daisy ‘n Krissi ‘n Jenni and all of ‘em, but, like, all the other girls at the agency, and my boyfriends’s other girls, and everybody… I gotta stand out, right?”
Samus began to droop, having had one or perhaps five too many drinks by this point.
“I used to stand out. It was like, so easy.” Samus mumbled as her head fell into Cassie bosom. “But it wasn’t like anybody liked me for bein’ me, right? Just because I was good at stuff. So I gotta fit in and make people like me for bein’ me, an…”
Samus trailed off and soon there was something that sounded like a kitten snoring coming from her cleavage. Cassie wasn’t sure how much of that was just the alcohol combined with some bad relationships contrasting with her happy marriage, but it was clear that Jessi was in a bad place right now, and no matter how big of an inheritance she had, her lifestyle clearly had a finite limit.
*****
“Jeez, what happened to Jessi?” Daisy asked as Jenni rushed over to help Cassie carry Jessi somewhere more suitable for a nap. “I don’t care how tiring today is, she could have at least stayed awake until you cut the cake.”
“I don’t think she wanted to be awake right now in the first place.” Cassie said, catching the attention of Krissi and Ashley in the process. “I don’t think she’s doing so well lately.”
‘’Oh no!” Jenni gasped, looking concerned before putting a delicate, long nailed hand against Jessi’s forehead. “Is she, like, getting sick or something?”
“I don’t think so,” Cassie shook her head. “But I do think she’s been feeling bad for a while now.”
“That’s, like, so sad,” Krissi pouted. “I should take her to the clinic to get spliced next week. That totally always cheers her up.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Cassie gently disagreed. “I think spending money on a cheer-up splice might make Jessi sadder right now.”
Daisy’s large blue eyes seemed to light up in understanding. “Is Jess having money problems?” she asked, displaying some of the shrewdness she’d always had when compared to her friends.
“I think so,” Cassie nodded, lips pressed into a thin, worried line.
“What? That’s, like, so crazy though,” Ashley spoke up. “She totally paid for our splices last week when we got our lips redone. Jessi’s always had tons of money n’ stuff. Plus, she’s a model. You guys make, like, butt loads of money. Right, Jen?”
“I mean, like, modeling’s super fun,” Jenni shrugged. “But it’s not like me and Jessi are, like, super famous super models or anything. We’re just having fun hanging out with hot girls and putting on cute outfits and junk. It’s nice, but it’s not like I make more money doing that than I do helping daddy sell condos and stuff.”
The girls all reluctantly nodded in agreement at that. Jenni Martini had spent so much of her father’s real estate fortune on partying that he’d eventually forced her to earn some of it back helping buy, renovate, and flip properties for him here on Zathor-4 and the surrounding system. She wasn’t exactly a savvy business woman, but she made enough money doing that that she could survive on her own if her dad ever cut her off.
“Wait, like, does Jessi know that though?” Krissi looked around at her friends, a dawning look of horror maring her otherwise perfect, doll-like face. “She’s, like, always talking about modeling and stuff. Is that, like, the only way she’s making money?”
“She must have some investments or something,” Daisy said, looking more and more concerned by the second. “I don’t need to work since all those stocks I got from my parents make up for all the money I spend. I’m sure it’s the same for her too… right?”
Jenni shrugged and shook her head. “Me and Jessi don’t talk about boring money stuff like that,” she sighed. “Just, like, cute guys and love and gossip and dresses and stuff.”
The friends all grew silent as mutual realization descended upon them. Was it possible that their BFF had been having a bad year and they hadn’t noticed the signs?
“There’s gotta be something good that happened to her this year though, right?” Daisy asked the group, sounding more and more worried with each word.
“Come to think of it,” Ashley mumbled, “she never wanted to talk about, like, how things were going with her boyfriends either.”
“Yeah, she wouldn’t even let me meet her boyfriend!” Krissi gulped. “And she got all huffy when I talked about how well I was goin’ with mine.”
“Like, we totally need to do something about this, don’t we?” Jenni asked, shooting a concerned look at one of her favorite people in the world.
“Yes,” Cassie nodded. “But we shouldn’t do it now while she’s asleep and trying to convince us everything is fine. We don’t want to embarrass her. For now, let’s just enjoy the rest of the day, okay?”
The friends all agreed to that and vowed to do everything they could to help Jessi as soon as they could, whether the girl would admit to needing help or not. After all, that’s what friends were for.