(Clown TF / Twinning / Various TFs)

Rain poured on a dark street in the middle of nowhere. On the street sat a lone girl named Edith sitting in her car fidgeting with her keys trying to start it. “Come on work stupid thing!” the blond shouted as she tried to start up the car. It had been an hour since her car broke down in the middle of nowhere. There was no signal on her phone and not a single person had passed her, she was stranded in the rain alone. She considered walking hoping to find somewhere to ask for help but there was nowhere in sight and with the storm raging outside she would rather take her chances holding out in her car.

“God,” she sighed letting go of her keys and suckling back into her seat defeated. “Why did this have to happen to me? Suck in the middle of nowhere without a charge and a broken car. How can this get any worse?” She shut her eyes tired from her long drive and drifted off to sleep hoping the storm would pass in the morning.

 Hearing a knock on the door she nearly jumped out of her seat as she awoke, she looked out the window and didn’t see anyone. She looked out of the mirror and saw a pair of bright headlights. Her eyes went wide with excitement she was saved. She flung her door open and ran out of her car and to her savior. She tilted her head confused as the person who knocked on the door was nowhere to be found, and the car wasn’t what she was expecting.

It was a beat-up yellow New York-style cab, a cab like that suddenly appearing out in the middle of nowhere was a shock what surprised her was its size as it was tiny as if someone shrunk it down to half its size. Hearing her door slam shut she turned around looked back at her car and saw a strange figure standing in the darkness. The figure was short enough to be the driver of the car and was also quite round.

“I was trying to offer you a ride toots,” a nasally voice came from the figure, “And you thank me by slamming me with the door?” the figure said approaching the light and Edith saw him causing her to step back and her jaw to drop.

He was a short man who was notably overweight wearing a beat-up blown suit that looked a size or two too big on him, with a yellow and black checkered tie around his neck, and a cap on his head reading “Crabby Cab”. But what caught her attention was his clown makeup, he had a pair of white circles around his eyes with orange half-ovals under his eyes that made his eyes look heavy and tired, a large white circle around his mouth, and a bristly green beard, oversized ears, and to top of off a big yellow clown nose.

“Whatcha looking at toots?” the clown asked as he walked in front of her, “You're the bozo who slammed your door in my noggin?”

“I’m sorry, but am I still dreaming?” Edith asked staring down at the clown in disbelief.

The clown sighed as he walked pasted her and to the door of his cab, “If you don’t want a ride then that’s your problem toots. He pointed to the cab sign on the top of his car, “But I wouldn’t bet on any other bozo driving out here in weather like this.”

She shook her head and waved her arms, “Wait you will give me a ride?”

“You don’t seem too bright toots, so let me spell it out for you,” the clown said stoking his brow with a displaced look on his face. “I’m a cab driver that’s what I do!” she shouted. “So do you want a ride or not, I could have already found another bozo by now so you're wasting my time!”

Edith looked at her car and back at the clown who was now crossing his arms and pouting. “Fine” she sighed, “I guess I don’t have any other choice.” she grabbed her phone and opened her trunk to grab her bags and placed them in her cab's tiny trunk. The cab driver motioned to her passager door and she opened it. She was hoping that somehow the inside of the cab would magically be bigger, but it was as small as it looked on the outside. Edith could barely crawl into the seat as her head touched the roof and she had to cull up her legs just to fit, and once she sat down a loud fart came from under her butt, she reached down and pulled out a green whoopie cushion. The insides weren’t much better than the outside or the drive, the seats were falling apart, there were stains everywhere, empty beer bottles and fast food wrappers littered the floor, and there was a bobblehead that resembled a sexy clown dressed in the same uniform as the clown, and a pair of fuzzy dice alongside a cigar scented air freshener hanging from the mirror. Edith knew she was in from a less-than-comfortable ride.

“Where to toots?” the cab driver huffed as he climbed into his seat.

“Just to the nearest town, I have a modeling job in there” she grunted already regretting climbing into the filthy tiny cab.

The driver grunted and put the key into the car he turned it and the engine sputtered to life and then died down almost instantly, he kept turning the key getting the same result and started muttering profanities under his breath. After a good minute or two of the car not starting he tipped he had exposed a massive bald spot in the middle of his head causing his hair to look like a green ring around his head. He got out of the car and ran to the side and kicked it causing it to sputter back to life and black exhaust to come out of it.

“Ready to go toots?” the driver growled.

Edith rolled her eyes and nodded. The driver stepped on the petal and swerved around Edith’s car nearly hitting it. He drove off into the night with Edith. The car ride was silent neither one wanting to start a conversation and Edith was more than happy to keep it that way. They had to be driving for hours but Edith could only see nothing but darkness and the road with no signs of life other than the crabby clown driving her. Her eyes started to grow tired once again she tried to fight it not wanting to fall asleep with the stage clown man, but she couldn’t resist no matter how hard she fought and give in to her drowsiness, and her eyes shut.

Visions of the circus began to dance in Edith’s unconscious mind, the bright light and the music overtook her senses as if she was there in person. Clowns performed tricks and gags on a stage in the center of a brightly colored tent. Like the strange cab driver, the clowns had wild proportions some being impossibly lanky and thin and others being impossibly round and short, the only thing that was similar about the clowns was their crazy bodies. Edith couldn’t help but feel giddy like a child watching the clowns on stage. A spotlight was shown on her and the performance came to a halt the clowns stared up at her waving and beckoning her to join them. She looked around to see if they could be summoning someone else but there was a large area of empty seats around her. The other audience members turned to her cheering her to join the show, but they weren’t humans but were more clowns. Edith tried to push herself off her seat but she felt an invisible weight on her chest holding her down, but the happy cheering of the clowns encouraged her to get up causing her to push past the weight and jump to her feet. As she walked down the path leading to the stage she felt shorter and heavier, once she got to the stage a dingy green cloud formed in the center. She covered her nose and mouth from the foul smell and saw a tiny yellow car roll out of the cloud. It was a taxi just like the one she was in. The car seemed to beckon her to it as if it was calling out. She slowly walked towards the taxi and just as she was about to place her hand on the door she was consumed by the green cloud.

Edith’s eyes burst open and she was met with the same green cloud. Accidentally inhaling the smoke she began to cough and wheeze and reached for the window and rolled it down letting the foul smoke escape the car and her to get a breath of fresh air.

“Hey what’s the big idea toots?” the clown shouted turning to her. Edith turned to face him and saw a lit cigar in his mouth, he took it out and blew a puff of green smoke from his lips.

“Are you smoking?” Edith asked, “What is that stuff it smells terrible?”

“Yeah, so what if I’m smoking?” he said, putting the cigar back in his mouth, taking both hands off the wheel, and crossing his arms. “My taxi my rules, if I wanna smoke then I’m gonna smoke.” He put his finger on a button and rolled the window back up causing the green haze to return to the car. “If you got a problem then I can leave you here, and you figure out how you are going to get back to town.”

“What the hell put your hands back on the wheel!” Edith shouted pointing at the steering wheel frantically. The clown scoffed and put his hands back on the wheel. “Fine, I won’t complain about your smoking.” The two sat in silence for what felt like an hour, Edith stared at the empty road and the dark forest. As the green haze grew in the car Edith had no choice but to inhale it causing her to gag once more. Whatever the clown was smoking was foul but it does have a funny buzz to it. As she inhaled more and more secondhand smoke her mind felt lighter and more at ease. “What kind of cigar is that?” she mumbled accidentally.

“Oh, this?” she said cocking his head towards her and pointing to the label on it. “Special Crabby Cabbie Cigar. These bad boys are one of a kind and only me and my bros know how to get our hands on these.”

“Bros?” Edith asked raising her brow curiously. “Do you and your brothers own this weird circus-themed taxi?”

The clown pulled out his wallet and opened it causing it to unravel hundreds of pictures of clowns who look precisely like him standing in front of cabs that look exactly like the ones he drove with the only difference being that the background was in different places from famous cities to landmarks. “It’s a family business, the best cab in all of Clown Town,” he said with a smug look on his face.

Edith grinned and looked back out the window, “You guys must be lucky, go to all those crazy places.”

“Want a smoke toots, these things help keep your mind at ease?” the clown asked reaching into his jacket and pulling out a cigar. Edith eyed the brown cylinder and had to peel her eyes away and shook her head. “Come on it’s on the house.”

“Sorry I don’t smoke anymore,” she sighed,” do you know what is in those things?”

The clown took out his cigar and blew out a puff of smoke and used its flame to light the one for Edith. “Don’t worry toots these things don’t have any of those bad things, these are a special Crabby Cabbie family recipe that keeps your mind at ease, and the next thing you know we will be at your destination in a snap. So what do you say?”

Edith looked back and forth between the clown and the cigar in his hand. He motions for her to take it, she sighed and snatched it from her hand, and put it between her lips. Edith took a drag from the cigar and coughed smelling the foul smoke fill her nose. Disgusting she thought as she looked at it between her fingers but for some reason, she couldn’t take her mind off the cigar and placed it between her lips again then blew out another breath of green smoke. Same as the last time foul and disgusting, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Thought you said that you didn’t smoke toots?” the clown grunted, “You smoke like a pro.”

Edith took the cigar out of her mouth and blew another breath of smoke, “I smoke a lot when I was in high school,” she sighed, “My parents found out and threw a fit.”

“And you let those losers tell you what to do?” the clown asked.

Edith looked towards him not noticing that she had more legroom and her head wasn’t touching the roof, “Being threatened to get kicked out of the house was enough for me.” she frowned. She took another puff of smoke none the wiser as she shrank into her seat. Edith continued smoking with the clown and each puff caused her to shrink more and more unaware as her clothing grew baggy and no longer clung to her body, and soon she was just as tall as the clown perfectly fitting in her seat.

“You know what I think?” the clown piped up. “Well screw them! Who are they to tell you how to live your life?”

“I wish it was that simple,” she sighed, “I haven’t been able to hold a job back then and they had the money.” she took another drag at her cigar and felt her chest begin to bloat but didn’t care to notice. “I wish I had your job, driving around seeing new places and meeting new people,” she said quietly to herself.

 With another puff of smoke her belly fattened out as her body rapidly gained weight losing her shapely curves and slim figure becoming large and pudgy. Yet Edith didn’t notice or care as her weight increased belly grew out and round like the clown next to her giving her a rotund figure. Despite her new large size Edith fit perfectly in the seat as if it was made for her. Her feet grew longer and her fingers lost a digit but she still didn’t notice as they fattened up. Her body continued to change as her cheeks fattened up her voice grew nasally like the clown next to her. Her face changed losing its sharp feminine features as they fattened up and rounded out much like the clown. She continued to smoke and her body continued to change her hair darkened becoming a dingy green and receding into her head creating a dingy green ring as the front and top of her hair vanished. Her ears tripled in size and her nose started to change as it began to grow and round out into a yellow ball that grew in size being visible in her line of sight. And that was what finally caught her attention only because she bumped her cigar into it.

“Holy shit!” she screamed causing the clown to jump and swerve the car nearly causing it to go off the road.

“What was that for toots!” the clown shouted.

Edith looked at herself, she stared in disbelief at her body nothing about her besides the clothes too big for her body resembled her. She was short, fat, and around just like the clown. She looked at the cigar in her hand and then looked back at the clown.

“What did you do to me!” she shouted her voice sounding nothing like what it should sound like sounding more like the clown’s but slightly higher.

“Oh, I should have told you,” the clown said with a grin, “The more you smoke my family’s brand the more you become part of the family.”

“What!? She screamed, “Why didn’t you tell me, bozo!” Instinctively putting the cigar back in her mouth she crossed her pudgy arms over her fattened belly. “Why the hell would I want to be a fat ass clown like you? Turn me back right now!”

“If that’s how you ask nicely, then you will fit right into the family,” he grinned, “Besides didn’t you say that you wished you had my job so be happy.”

“Happy,” she growled taking another puff of the cigar causing her lips to grow less plump and green hairs to grow around them. “I will be happy once you turn me back!”

“Sorry toots no can do,” the clown laughed, “I don’t carry anything other than those cigars. If you don’t want to change any further then put it down toots, it’s as simple as that.”

Edith stared at the cigar in her hand she desperately tried to keep it away from her mouth but she internally longed for a whiff of the smoke and the feeling that it gave. She lost at her internal battle and took another puff from it. And sighed as she grew a full beard. “Why the hell did you have to make it so addicting?” she groaned knowing that she was fighting a losing battle.

The clown just smiled and blew a puff from his cigar. “What can I say my family makes the best cigars around.”

Taking another puff Edith watched as her skin took on a more pinkish hew. She couldn't help her urges to continue smoking and took a long puff from her cigar causing white circles to appear around her eyes and yellow half-circles below them. She wanted to tear the cigar away from her roll down the window and throw it away to save herself but she could bare to part it from her lips longer than it took to blow out the wondrous smoke. It made her feel giddy as it was the only thing that could calm her in this crappy world. Taking another puff hair exploded from her arms, legs, belly, and armpits normally she should have been disgusted at the thought of even the slightest amount of body hair but it made her feel at home. Taking another puff her ass lost its firmness and became an unappealing mass of flab. And with another puff, her fattened breasts sank slightly losing their perkiness and just becoming mounds of fat man boobs. And with another puff an adam's apple formed in her neck its bugle barely visible through her double chin.

“So what’s it like being a clown cab driver,” she laughed her voice sounding nothing like her own but exactly like the clown’s. She looked over at him and then back at herself in the mirror she looked exactly like him, she expected to be freaking out but instead, all she could do was grin and laugh at the thought of her old slim and sexy body turned into a sloppy gross fat man’s body.

“Why do asking pal?” the clown asked sounding nicer than usual. “Looking for a job?”

“Well before I go all the way, I want to know what it is like,” she giggled to herself while twilling the cigar between her sausage fingers. Giving up her dream of becoming a beautiful model, to become a gross cab driver. For some reason, the idea of leaving everything behind and driving around made her smile.

“Well it’s the pits pal,” the clown grunted, “Dealing with noisy passengers, traffic, weather, gas prices, and more. It’s a real pain in the ass if you ask me. But it’s a living.”

“Is that why you are so crabby?” she laughed, “Or is it part of the brand?”

“A bit of both,” he groaned, “I was once like you smoking a cigar a clown gave me, and the next thing I knew I was short and fat and wanted to drive to the ends of the earth in my taxi,” he sighed, but after a while, you will understand why we become so crabby.”

“Eh whatever bub,” she said taking her cigar out of her mouth., “I don’t care but it sounds fun, it sounds much better than being a stinking model with stuffy parents.” Edith exhaled a large cloud of green smoke that seeming went on forever and simultaneously as she blew out the smoke something began to grow out of her womanhood. It was long and hard with the lips of her vagina inflating and becoming a pair of sacks. He smiled as he patted his new penis losing the last part of the person he once was, who was he before again? Well, it didn’t matter. “See bro it’s no problem.” he chuckled, “Whatever my old life was probably even more of a drag than this if I can’t remember it?”

“That’s what I said when I first joined the family business brother,” the driver sighed, “You will learn soon enough and then you will put the crabby in Crabby Cabbie, it happens to all of us.”

Edith crossed his arms and frowned, “If all of our brothers are like you, I can see why you are so crabby.”

The clown sighed with a frown, “It runs in the family.” He took a drag of his cigar and turned to Edith, “So deal with it.”

Edith looked down at her cigar which was nothing more than a stub and turned to the driver. “You don’t need to be so rude, where brothers after all.” he pointed to his brother’s pocket and grunted, “Hey pass me a smoke.” The driver groaned and reluctantly reached down into his jacket and pulled out a fresh cigar and tossed it to his brother. Edith took the cigar and looked at it and grunted to his brother, “I need a light too.” His brother annoyed pulled out his lighter and flicked it open and held it out to him. Edith lit his cigar and plopped it back into his mouth and flopped back into his seat with an annoyed look on his face.

“Next time don’t forget your clothes,” his brother grumbled pointing his cigar at Edith’s clothes that no longer fit him. “Ain't my fault you chose to wear those rags and forgot your cigars at home.”

Edith looked down at his clothing with a confusingly annoyed look on his face. His clothing wasn’t his uniform but casual human clothes and strangely they were feminine, he wondered why he would ever wear anything other than his uniform and a human woman’s clothing as well. His brow scrunched it was all too frustrating to put the pieces together and only made him even more annoyed and crabby just thinking about it.

His brother took another drag from his cigar and waved it wards him, “You’re lucky I carry a spare uniform in the back.” He popped his cigar into his mouth and angrily grumbled, “It’s bad enough you lost your cab, I can’t believe you lose your uniform as well.”

“Hey pal, don’t act like you haven’t lost your cab before our big brother was telling me all about it,” Edith shouted face full of rage.

“Can it little bro.” his brother groaned, “If you keep it up your walking.”

The two brothers sat in crabby silence smoking for the rest of the car ride. It was a good few hours before they drove into town. Edith’s brother dropped him off at the motel. He popped the trunk and Edith grabbed a small dirty travel suitcase something in his mind told him that it should be bigger and look different but he annoyingly brushed it off. He entered the motel to get changed, and everyone in the lobby gave him strange looks. He grumbled to himself about the estranged looks he received, “Have these bozos never seen a clown before?” the thought to himself. He flung open the door to a public bathroom and entered one of the stalls to change.

Inside the suitcase was his family's signature uniform. A beat-up blown suit and matching pants that were a size or two too big, a matching brown vest in a similar condition to his jacket, a dull grayish-white shirt, a black and yellow tie, old brown loafers that were falling apart, grayish cap with the name of his family’s business on it, and luck for him a pair of old boxers. He tore the weird clothes he was wearing off of his body and slipped his real clothes on. Everything seemed either too big or too small on his body but it felt just right on his body. He exited the bathroom stall and tried to look at himself in the mirror but found his body too small to even reach the mirror.

He crossed his arms and grumbled, “Whose bright idea was it to put the mirror so high up? What are they expecting giants to use it?”

“AGGGHHHHHHH!” An annoying ear-piercing scream caught his attention, he turned to bind a woman with blond hair wearing a bright pink tube top and short shorts staring at him with a look of fury on her face pointing at him. “What the hell are you doing in here you perv!”

“Perv?” he thought to himself as his anger boiled, “Who the hell thinks they can call me a perv!” He walked up to the woman and put his hands on his hips angrily. “What did you call me blondie?”

“Excuse me!?” she shouted looking down at the clown. “Get the hell out of here you perverted freak!”

“Oh, now you are calling me a freak!” he shouted somehow even more enraged at the woman. “While at least I’m not some dumb bimbo!”

“Who the fuck are you thinking that you can come in the woman’s bathroom and insult me, you fat freaky midget clown!” the woman shouted putting her hands on her hips as well in anger. “Freaks like you who think they can waltz into the woman’s bathroom and spy on us are the worse, so get out before I get my boyfriend to beat your fat ass!”

He looked around the bathroom noticing a distinct lack of urinals, which made him even more annoyed figuring someone must have switched the labels or something like that. “Names Crabby,” he grunted, “And why do you think I would want to spy on a bitch like you?” He let a small smile slip as he said mockingly, “Your flat as a board and you have an attitude worse than your looks.”

“What the fuck did you say to me freak!?” the woman shouted.

Crabby smiled as he lit a cigar and blew a puff of smoke in her face, “That’s right your not as hot as you think you are toots, why would any self-respecting man want to perv on you?”

“What the hell,” she coughed trying to fan the smoke away from her face, “You piece of shit!” she felt a tingling in her body and her voice began to sound higher, “Who the hell do you think you are calling me shit!”

“Hey, toots I’m telling you this for your good.” he groaned, “I’m doing you a favor and this is how you treat me?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” she coughed, “Like you have any taaaaaaaaaaaaaaste-” she shouted as the world around he grew. The world wasn’t growing she was shrinking. Her small tube top and short shorts slid off her body as she fell towards the floor as her body shrank leaving her only seven inches tall. Before she knew it she was drowning in her clothing she crawled out of the sea of her clothes and covered her small chest finding herself naked. The sight of a giant shadow on the tiles caused her to fall in fear, as the giant rotund figure of the clown stood over her. “W-what d-did y-you d-do to me!?” her tiny voice shrieked.

Crabby knelt and lowered his hand to the ground and motioned the girl to step onto it. “Like I said fixing your look.”

“Fixing my look?” she cried in fear and anger, “Look at me I’m tiny! You better changed me back right now!”

“Sorry toots,” tCrabby sighed, “That’s not how my magic smoke works. So you either step onto my hands or you can enjoy being seven inches tall for the rest of your life.”

The woman frowned as she gave in, not like she had a choice. She climbs into the Crabby’s hand defeated. The force of Crabby raising her to his eye level caused her to fall over and nearly topple off his hand and fall to her death. She covered herself the best she could and weakly shouted to him trying her best to still sound intimating. “What are you going to do to me?”

“Fix you up to my liking toot,” he grunted and blew a puff of smoke at her.

She once again nearly fell off from the clown's smelly breath of smoke. The smoke was disgusting back when she was of normal height, but thanks to her size being consumed by it made her nearly throw up. She felt her body tingle once again. Her breasts and butt shot out in size growing massive and larger than her head to comical proportions. She struggled to maintain her balance with the air of new weights on her chest and behind.

“What the hell?” she moaned out as she cupped her breasts them being much more sensitive than before.

“The bigger the assets the better the gal my brothers and I always say!” Crabby chuckled.

Before the woman could process what was happening another breath of hazy green smoke caused her to topple onto her inflated behind. The tingling feeling spread to her feet as they grew longer, next to her hands as her ring and middle fingers merged, and the strangest of all her head started to inflate growing to half the size of her body. She struggled to get to her feet her new massive head proving to be a challenge weighing her down.

“Why is my head so massive!” she shouted her rage-filled face coming off as more comical due to her new portions.

“Eh, it’s part of your new job.” Crabby shrugged.

“My new job?” she cried out.

The clown didn’t respond but just blew another puff of smoke at her causing her to fall to the ground. Her body started to tingle once more as her skin turned pinkish like Crabby’s. As her pinkish skin rose up her body it reached her head giving her matching makeup. As it reached her hair it turned a dingy green matching the clown. Crabby blew another puff this time a green mist surrounded the woman’s body wrapping around her forming into clothing and dissipating leaving her dressed like the clown but form-fitting.

She looked at herself with disgust, she looked like a freak and her clothing was disgusting. “Why do I look like a sexy female version of you freak!” she shouted in disbelief.

“Hey, I told you that I was going to turn into what I think is sexy and you look quite sexy to me toots!’ he chuckled, “Now let’s wrap this up I have to get back on the road.”

“Wait you are not done!” she cried in fear trying to shield herself with her hands. “I’m sorry please turn me back!”

“Sorry toots, but I ain't got a way to turn you back,” he smiled as he blew a puff of smoke at her consuming her in the green haze. “But I think you will like this better, I know I will.

The woman’s feet started tingling, she looked down and witness a black circle spread from out of her feet. “What are you doing to me?” she cried in fear trying to pick her feet off her base but they refused to move locking together. Her shoes and feet merged together being a single mass and her shoes lost their leathery textures becoming solid plastic. The plastic spread up her legs causing her legs and pants to join her feet as a single molded piece of plastic. All she could do was watch as her flesh hardened with her ugly clothes fusing them to her body and becoming ridged and unmoving. Her transformation spread up her newly massive breasts turning them into preventively molded domes on her plastic chest. As the plastic moved up to her arms they forcefully repositioned themselves on her hips. Tears formed in her eyes as every part of her beside her head was cold unmoving plastic stunk in a pose that accentuated her breasts and behind. Her neck thinned out into a small metallic wire and then coiled around itself, causing even the slightest breeze to bounce her head madly. “Please stop!’ she cried as her head started to inflate growing rapidly to the size of half her body, “I’m sorry!” She shouted, but she wanted to cry out more pleas but her face started to turn to plastic and her mouth was forced into a big goofy smile. She tried to close her eyes but they were forced open as they became nothing more than a simple painted-on detail of her plastic head.

She wanted to run she wanted to do anything but she couldn’t move. All she could think about was moving, she didn’t care that she was tiny or a plastic clown all she wanted was movement. Any movement, just to move is all she could think about she no longer feared the clown holding her in the palm of his hand if she could speak she would be begging the clown to give her some kind of movement. But she didn’t need to speed for her wish to be granted as the clown flicked her on her nose causing her head to bobble back and forth. Just the simple movement of her head bouncing was enough to push her over the edge, it was all she ever wanted and ever could want. Life as a human woman who stole the look of every man who passed her felt empty now, all she wanted was for her massive silly head to bounce back and forth.

“See I told ya, that you would be better like this.” Crabby said with a smug grin, “You look better toots and you no longer have that annoying yappy mouth, and besides, I have a piece of eye candy to keep me company.” he grabbed her head stopping it from moving he lifted his hat with and plopped the bobblehead under it and dusted off his hands. “I consider that a win-win.”

The clown left the bathroom turning to address the door reading that it was in fact the woman’s bathroom. He grumbled and shrugged figuring that it was for the best that someone changed the signs to mess with him as he got a sexy bobblehead out of it, still refusing to think that he walked into the wrong bathroom. A large muscular man stood in front of Crabby glaring down at him.

“I heard my girlfriend screaming and you just walked out of the woman’s bathroom!” he shouted spitting in the clown’s face. “What was a freak like you doing in the woman’s bathroom punk!”

Crabby rolled his eyes and tried to walk past him, but he move to block his path. “Don’t look at me bub, it’s not my fault that some bozo switched the signs,” he said with an annoyed shrug.

“Likely story coming from a freak like you!” the man shouted getting more in the clown's face, “If my girlfriend tells me you did anything to her even look at her I’m going to beat your fat ass flat!” he said shaking his fist in the clown’s unamused face, “You know what why don’t I kick your ass right now, you freak like you probably was perving on her anyways.”

“Blond chick with no tits?” Crabby asked shaking the ash off his cigar, “Why would I creep on her, she isn’t much of a looker. Perfect for you bub.”

“THATS IT!” the man shouted as he reeled back his fist and plunged it deep into the clown’s face causing his fist to sink deep into it like a balloon searching out the back of his head till it reached its limit and bounced back flinging out of the Crabby’s face and into his own knocking him straight to the ground and to the floor in the middle of the lobby. The woman behind the counter, a young couple, a skinny man, a group of college girls, and a young woman all stared at him then at the clown smoking at the clown. “What the?” the man shouted his face red with a mark of his fist.

Crabby smiled as he approached the man who was frozen on the ground still trying to process what was happening. He lifted his hat revealing the bobblehead under it, “Yeah I fixed up your gal to my liking.”

“What are you?” the man whimpered backing away slowly.

“I’m a crabby clown who doesn’t like people who insult me,” he said with a twisted grin across his entire face, “Why don’t I show you what happens to those to call me a freak?”

“Please no I’m sorry!” the man cried as the clown blew a cloud of green smoke that consumed him. As the smoke dissipated the man’s body was flat with a white outline around him. His limbs refused to move all he could do was look around and scream. His body started to change its shape, his arms and legs pushed against his sides and his arms fused with his torso, and his legs merged together. His entire body started to shift fusing and contorting into a long cylinder that was larger on top and small on the bottom and wrapped around itself. His clothing turned a dull goldish color and reached itself into a rectangle around the middle of his body, then his body started turning a dirty brown beside his hair which turned an ashy gray and became an oval that the top of his body. His face contorted with fear moved down his body to the center of his clothing-turned label, his face was forced into a simple cartoonish frown becoming immobile. His eyes were the last of his humanity to go turned into simple black ovals with an angry eye brown between them. A hole was punched at the top of the white outline and a string formed within it. And finally, the man’s body shrank to fit into the palm of the clown’s hand.

Crabby picked up the flattened image of a cigar with an angry face and took a long whiff and smiled, “Cigar scented my favorite smell!” he chucked holding the air freshener in his hand and then shoving it into his jacket pocket. The rest of the people in the room stared at him in fear unmoving. “What’s that matter with you?” he grumbled, “Never seen a clown before?” The skinny man was the first to make a move making a break for the door, but the door wouldn’t budge. “I’m not a performing clown so when I put on a show it is a pretty damn special occasion so I’m not letting you run out on me bub?” the man tried to plead with the clown but he just shrugged it off and blew a puff of smoke that flew at the man consuming him instantly.

As the smoke dissipated the man looked more bloated and was greenish. He tried to speak but all that came out of his mouth were farts. His lips grew long and floppy as his body grew rounder. His body kept getting fatter and fatter and his limbs started to pull into his body. He was nothing but a round ball with a head with long flappy lips. His body started to shift his head striking into it leaving nothing besides his lips behind. Then it started to flatten out a bit becoming a bloated disk with the logo for Crabby Cabbie on it. Finishing the transformation the whoopie cushion shrank to a traditional size. Crabby walked over to it and stepped on it causing a loud fart to come from it. He smiled and scooped it up and stored it away in his pocket.

He turned to the couple and smiled. They hugged each other tightly and held their eyes shut as he blew a cloud onto them. When the cloud disappeared they were naked and fuzzy everywhere beside their head the man was blue and the woman was red. They both looked at each other in shock feeling their changes. Their hair grew out and was pulled upwards and tied together. The two tried to pull away and untangle their hair but their attempts were futile as their hair merged into a single strand and their arms striking into their torsos didn’t help. Their limbs shrank away causing the woman to fall to the floor and the man to be pulled after her. The couple could only wiggle still desperately fighting to miraculously stop their transformation. But their attempts were in vain as their bodies started to change shape expanding into a large cube with white dots sown onto it. Their heads were the last to change as their jaws expanded sinking into their cube body and creating a hole through their head, they shared a scared glace as their heads turned to a simple plastic arch with their hair which was now a thin white thread wrapped around it. The pair shrunk to a more appreciated size. Crabby walked over to the pair of fuzzy dice and twirled them around making sure they bounced off each other before putting them under his hat alongside his bobblehead.

He next turned his attention to a group of college-age girls who were on some sports trip. They just hid in the corner and whimpered. Crabby rolled his eyes and blew a cloud of smoke at them encasing the entire group. They shrieked as each girl's hands fused to another’s foot creating a crumpled chain of girls. Some struggled to break free while others accepted their fate. Their bodies started to flatten and their clothing grew outwards engulfing them and sealing them inside their tight cocoon. The girls squirmed in their cocoons as their bodies changed. Their limbs merged together with their bodies. Their necks forced their head upwards and their jaws opened wide. And then their bodies deformed and warped into a simple long tube with their jaw being the opening. Any resemblance of humanity left the girls as their features melted away and their bodies became transparent yellow with a band of black checkers wrapped in the middle. The squares of clothing changed to yellow plastic with a yellow checkered border around the edges. Like the others, they shrank and the clown slid them into his back pocket with a diary grin on his face.

He patted the pocket where he put his new condoms and said with a smile. “You can never be too prepared on the road.” He looked towards the counter seeing it empty and frowned, and speaking of which. He blew a puff of smoke at the counter causing it to melt revealing the hiding woman behind it.

Like the others, she tried to plead and like the others, the clown just rolled his eyes and blew a puff of smoke at her. Her body straighten out and her legs fused and her arms fused with her chest. Her skin tingled as her body started to become cylindrical and glass smoothing out her body as she transformed. Once it reach her neck it started to get skinnier and grow longer until it reached her head where it slightly widened again and her hair become a metal disk covering the hole that formed. And her insides became a brown liquid. Her body to a size fitting of a bottle. He grabbed her popping her cap and took a deep swig of her downing every last drop of one gulp letting loose a loud satisfied burp. He stuck the cap back on his bottle of beer and it magically refilled.

“Booze is the perfect thing to help me concentrate,” he said stowing the bottle away in his jacket, “especially when driving.” he laughed. “Well, the show’s over folks, and thanks for your genius gifts.

“Um, you forgot about me?” a wall woman with messy hair and an oversized hoodie said holding her hand up.

Crabby looked at her scratching his head, she was barely notable even after pointing herself out, he shrugged and smiled it’s not every day that someone made his job easier and just walked up to him. “Sorry toots, you blend into the background so well.”

“I get that a lot…” she mumbled.

“So you want me to transform you?” The clown grunted. He looked at his cigar it was nothing but a stump. He frowned and groaned, “So what will it be kid hurry up and tell me what you want me to do with you I’m a very busy clown.”

“Well can you turn me into something that you will use a lot?” she stepped forward and asked while scratching her head. “I’m kinda into transformation stuff with people turning into items, and well never thought it was real let alone actually happen to me. You see I just want to be useful and noticed, can you turn me into something like that, please? I don’t care what I become I just want to be used a lot.”

The clown reached into his jacket pocket his hand searching for something but was unable to find it causing him to grumble to himself, then at the woman, “If you want to be useful then could you give me a light?”

The woman looked nervous and frowned, “I’m sorry but I don’t have a lighter.”

The clown blew a puff of smoke at her and smiled, “Well toots you will soon.”

She smiled as she was consumed by the green smoke, and as the smoke dissipated she stood there unchanged coughing away the smoke. She looked down at herself feeling no different than before. “Nothing happened?” she said softly.

“I’m pulling all of the stops of you toots,” Crabby grinned, “You want to be part of my personal collection and what could a crabby cab drive like me without a light for his cigar?”

“Something’s happening?” she said wide-eyed as her clothing started to shift. Her baggy clothes clung tight to her body and merge together, her sleeves began to shrink up her arms, and the top of her hoodie followed suit stopping above her breasts. Her pants shrank up her body like her hoodie stopping right at her butt. The material of her clothing changed becoming a lighter yellow lighter and stretch fabric with a black checker design around her breasts and butt. Her sneakers changed into a pair of yellow high heel clown boots. Her new leotard barely clung to her body due to her lack of curves and assets looking like it was about to slide off her.

“Isn’t this a little revealing a too big?” she asked holding up her leotard.

“Don’t worry toots,” the clown chuckled, “I’m sure you will grow into it.”

Before she could say anything her nose started to inflate and turn yellow going to the size of a golf ball. The skin around her nose started to turn chalk white spreading across her face and turning her already pale face pure white. As the lack of color spread it changed her face her eyes became large and rounder her irises became yellow, her mouth grew impossibly large and her lips become fuller with yellow lipstick covering them. Yellow circles appeared on her cheeks and around her eyes. Her entire face looked faltered as if it, was just drawn on. Her messy hair grew out and turned yellow with black streaks running through it, once it reached past her butt it shot up tieing itself into a pair of large pigtails. The whiteness spread down her body reshaping it and crushing her waist into an hourglass shape. Her arms followed losing any semblance of fat as well as her hands losing her middle finger. With a pair of loud pops her breasts inflated growing larger than her head and filling out her leotard nearly bursting out of it. Like her breasts, her butt and hips ballooned out to match her breast. And her feet grew filling out her boots. Like her face, her entire body took on a cartoonish 2D perspective as if she was a living drawing

“Um, isn’t this a little much?” she said in shock feeling her massive bouncy breasts and plump behind. “I think that this is all a little too big for my liking?”

Crabby rolled his eyes and blew out a puff of smoke from his cigar, “Sorry toots, but I’m making you to my liking.”

“Wait can we talk about this!” she screamed as the smoke engulfed her and her voice went silent. A small green rectangle that fell on the ground was all that remained of the woman.

The clown reached down and picked up the cheap plastic lighter and smile at the printed image of the clown girl leaning forward pushing her breasts out and giving a cute yet seductive smile and on the back, she was pushing her butt back. Crabby rubbed the image's breasts and ass with his fingers and flicked it open creating a small flame. He snuffed out his cigar and pulled out a new one to light and put the lighter into his jacket pocket. He patted his pocket with a smile and said, “You said I could do whatever I want toots, at least I won’t have to listen to you complain.” Crabby left the motel stepped out into the rain and gave a glance back and forth across the pocking lot and crossed his arms. “Now where did I park my cab?”

“Wait no don’t leave!” the sound of a woman’s voice and the clacking of her heels caught the clown’s attention. Running after a bus was a woman in a suit with short black hair. The bus paid her no attention and sped off without a second thought. “Damnit!” she shouted watching the bus drive off.

Crabby shrugged and rolled his eyes and approached the woman, his first customer he should have been excited but felt like it was going to pain. “You need a ride toots?” The woman turned and looked at him with a confused look, “Names Crabby your not-so-friendly cab driver.” he said tipping his hat to her.

“You're a cab driver?” she said holding back laughter.

“What’s so funny toots?” he growled causing her to laugh.

The woman calmed herself down and smiled, “Sorry it's just that you are so cute, please forgive me if I offended you.” she said with a warm smile, “It’s just not every day you see a clown cab driver.”

“It’s every day for me toots,” he grumbled taking a drag of his cigar. “So you want a ride or not?”

“Yes please!” she eagerly shouted, “I have an important meeting tomorrow in the next town over and my car broke down, but I was lucky enough to make it here.”

“So you are a busy woman?” the clown groaned, scanning the parking lot for his cab. “Just letting you know that we will get there when we get there, if you want me to drive any faster then that will be extra.”

“Oh it’s fine,” she frowned, “my meeting is not until the afternoon.” she looked down at the tiny clown with an annoyed look on his face. “It would be nice to have your job, being able to see different places and meet new people all I do is sit in boring meetings.”

“My job isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be toots,” she groaned growing increasingly annoyed at the disappearance of his car, “There are plenty of annoying people according to what my brother’s told me, kinda like you right now.”

“I’m sorry?” she said frowning. The two stood in silence for a while the clown looking for his cab and the woman trying to stay dry. She looked at him and spoke up, “Is something wrong or should I just wait for the next bus?”

The clown took a deep breath and frowned, “You know what you want to help?”

“Sure? The woman said looking confused. “What do you need?”

“I’m having car troubles,” the grumbled angrily with his arms crossed. “Some joker must have taken my cab.”

“Do you want me to call the police?” the woman asked scratching her head.

“No, I got us a better idea.” the clown grinned and blew a puff of smoke at the woman.

“What the hell?” she coughed fanning away the cloud of smoke. “What did you do that for?”

“I need and cab and you wanted to see what my job was like,” the clown said with a large grin on his face, “You sound like someone who could use a break from your old job anyways.”

“What are you talking about?” she coughed. She opened her eyes and saw her hands forced into a fist, she stared in wide-eyed horror as her hands turned back and started to inflate and reformed into a pair of circles. She screamed as her hands morphed into a pair of tires and rims. “W-what is happening to me?”

“You said you wanted to help me with my car trouble,” he chuckled, “ and what better way to help than become my car!”

‘You piece of shit!” she cried as her heels exploded as her feet turned into wheels like her hands causing her to fall on all fours. She groaned as her limbs were forced straight tearing her skirt in the process. She moaned in pleasure as her lower body started to morph expanding and changing into the back of the cab shredding what remained of her skirt and stockings and hardening into metal and plastic.

She breathed heavily and weakly smiled. “Why does this feel good?” she said to herself. She gasped as her upper body began to morph into the middle of the car busing out of her suit. She could feel the cold rain on her metal body and the worn-out leather of her seat, and it felt good. “You know what this isn’t that bad?” She smiled, “I could get used to this, driving around being a tax cab without a care in the world!”

“Well I’m glad here it is, it’s much better than sitting in a stuffed suit all day in a stuffy office,” Crabby chuckled. “Right toots?”

Her head started to change growing out and wider. “You bet!” were the last words she said as her mouth became her grill she gave a wink to the clown as her eyes turned into headlights. The car's body wasn’t done changing as it compacted itself to better fit its driver’s size.

The clown smiled as he stepped into his car, “Shame I lost my first customer, but hey what is a Crabby Cabbie without their trusty cab?” he chuckled to himself. He lifted his hat putting the bobblehead on the dashboard and the pair of dice and the air freshener on the mirror. “Well I better get to work,” he sighed as he pulled out a drove away to find his real first customer. And after a while of driving, he saw a young blond woman waving him down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere stuck in the rain. He groaned and pulled over.