My name is Emma Abbott, I’m an investigative journalist (actually I’m just a student who writes a column once a week) for the Carlisle Cougar, the campus newspaper at my community college.
I’m 20 years old, regularly stressed, intuitive, clever, cute, single and not looking, you know... fairly normal, right? Anyway, this is the story of how I became not so normal.
Tuesday, September 5th
I’ve been seeing a lot of strange things on campus lately. Students with extra arms, their heads on backwards, holes in their torsos, bits of them missing, rearranged body parts and elongated limbs... sounds ridiculous right?
And don’t worry, none of them are in pain or bleeding or dying or freaking out. They’re all just chilling while existing in these seemingly impossible states. So of course, I needed to get to the bottom of it!
I was sitting in the Cougar Café on Tuesday morning drinking a macchiato from the built in Starbucks we had (it wasn’t that good) when I was fortunate enough to spot one of them. A pretty brunette - had her legs and arms swapped. She was talking with some friends, sitting on her arms, which were crossed on the chair so she was ‘sitting’ criss cross and then her legs were laid out on the tabletop. With confidence and some Emma charm, I put my drink down and walked over to them.
“Hello, my name is Emma Abbott. I’m a journalist for the campus newspaper.” I introduced myself polite as ever.
“Hey, Emma. I’m Rachel.” She held up her right leg and I candidly ‘shook’ her shoe with two fingers.
“Lovely, nice to meet you Rachel. Anyways, I’m looking into how exactly there are so many students walking around with body parts swapped and what not.” I explained to her.
“It’s the new magic club.” Rachel told me. “But you gotta know magic to get in.”
“Right, magic club.” I found it difficult to believe her, but her legs and arms were swapped so... “Where can I learn magic or at least, speak to the sponsor of this club?”
“It takes a lot to learn magic.” Said Rachel. “But if you want to talk to him, the sponsor is Dr. Bluebell- biology teacher. I don’t know where his office is, though.”
I quickly copied this information into my phone. “Okay! Thank you, Rachel!”
“You’re welcome.” I turned and walked away, this knowledge breathing new life into me.
Dr. Bluebell. Biology. I looked through the website until I found his name- Kaden Bluebell. Okay, office? Use Your Head. No, really. It said Use Your Head. And office hours said ‘Daytime’.
So I had a smart ass on my hands.
Once I was home at my apartment I decided to ask my roommate Alice if she knew him. Alice was cute and nerdy, but also knew how to push my buttons. And whenever our bisexual urges got the better of us we’d umm- experiment a bit here and there. That was until she started dating this one guy from her work. Anyway, back to the story.
“Dr. Bluebell? Nah, I had Dr. Clemens remember?” She said, not looking up from her phone as I sat next to her on the couch with my laptop.
“Oh yeah.” My heart sank. “Why does it say this on the school site? Can I find out when he’s teaching or when the club is held?”
“Em, you look up clubs.” Alice grabbed the laptop from me and smacked around on the keyboard a bit. “Shit, I don’t see it.”
“Of course! It’s a new club, it must be! Why didn’t I think of it before?” I grabbed my laptop back.
“Because you’re dumb.”
I rolled my eyes and stood up from the couch. “Right, well I can’t sleep until I get to the bottom of this.”
“Bottom of what? It’s magic!”
“It’s magic? Alice, magic does not exist!”
“Uh, yeah it does. There’s a guy in my speech class who looks different every time, like yesterday he had a hand where his neck would be and he was holding his head up with it.”
I paused. “Okay, that could be like paper mache.”
Alice shook her head. “It’s his real hand. The other week his legs were on backwards. Or was it his torso? All I remember is that his butt looked cute.”
Once again, I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I need to know more. Google search time!”
I spent the next hour and a half surfing the web instead of doing my homework. Normally that would sound like a sin to me, but this was obviously an exception. Magic couldn’t be real, right? Anyways, I didn’t find anything on Bluebell, I searched ‘real magic’, ‘magic on college campuses’, ‘community college magic’, ‘magic classes’, ‘body part magic’, nothing! I even went through hashtags on Twitter and Instagram, I texted friends, still nothing! Was I experiencing some sort of fever dream? Maybe. I decided to go to bed. Maybe I just needed a good night’s sleep after all.
Wednesday, September 6th
So I didn’t sleep that much. Surprise surprise. Well, I woke up at 6 and couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to head to campus. I got there just as it opened and began to look for any clues that might lead to uncovering this magical mystery.
The club had no bulletin board, as expected. It was only mid September so a new club would still have some kinks to work out. I strayed over to the science area, but none of the classrooms were in use yet. So I decided to just find a nice place and take a quick nap.
Ended up being late for Calculus. Fuck me. I apologized so many times to my instructor I think I lost count. No wait, it was seventeen. Yeah, that sounds about right. Then to make matters worse I passed by a girl who had no torso. I’m not joking. She was a head, shoulders, arms, and then she was hips and legs. It wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t be possible. It couldn’t be possible. But there it was. Ughhhhh! I would’ve asked her some questions too, but I was too caught off guard!
In Comp 2 I found it hard to focus what with my very concept of logic and reason being challenged. I asked the people I sat around and they knew nothing- then I decided to ask my instructor after class if he knew Bluebell. I don’t know why I didn’t ask my Calc instructor. Oh yeah, I was bombarding him with apologies.
“Hmm, name sounds familiar.” Said my Comp instructor, Dr. Thompson, upon my inquiry. “Maybe ask the office administrators?”
“Well here’s the odd thing, I looked him up on the website and instead of an office number it just said ‘Use Your Head’.”
He chuckled. “Miss Abbott, I don’t think any professors would put that on the school website. It might be some hackers messing around I’m sure they’ll change it back soon.”
“Right.” I thought for a moment. “Well, thanks.”
“And Miss Abbott, I expect your essay to be top-notch on Monday.”
“You can count on it!” And I left to go to lunch.
At lunch I met up with a friend of mine, Michael, who I used to work with. Well, his schedule and mine sort of cross over so we’ve been meeting for a few weeks. He’s cute and may or may not have a thing for me (but who could blame him if he did?) Of course, poor Michael wouldn’t be spared from my obsessions.
“So, you’ve seen the students walking around with their bodies all weird right?” I asked him without any kind of a segue, come to think of it the way I worded that was ghastly.
“Umm, what do you mean?” Michael asked, taking a bite of his chicken.
“Like, this girl the other day, her legs and arms were swapped.” I said, clearly coming across as way too over obsessed.
Michael chuckled. “Emma, are you okay?”
“No I’m not, you know this.”
“Okay well, I saw this one guy with no arms or legs, just hands on his shoulders and feet on his uh-“ Michael patted his hip. “This part.”
“That’s called a hip. But yeah! That’s exactly what I’m talking about, apparently there’s a magic club on this campus and that’s why they’re all... weird! And it’s supposedly sponsored by a mysterious Dr. Bluebell.”
Michael swallowed his food. “Bluebell? Hey! I have him for biology!”
“You do?!” My heart soared. Finally some answers! “Where is he? Where is his office? What does he look like?” I scooted closer to Michael with every inquiry.
“Whoa, calm down Em. He should be teaching right now, down in the science area you know where the labs-“ and with that, I shot up and grabbed Michael by the arm.
“We’re going!”
“Wait! Emma, let me finish eating first.”
“You can bring that with you.” I folded my arms.
“Nah, I’ll stay here. You can find him, he’s got shoulder length blue hair and glasses. Real skinny. Wears a lab coat.”
“But Michael, if you know him then you can introduce me and it won’t be awkward!” I argued.
“Well you’ll just have to wait for me to eat.”
I decided to coax him into just coming with me. Being adorable and charming has its perks after all.
“Michael.” I cocked my head to the side. “Do it for me.”
He took a bite and hesitated. “Oh fine.”
“Yes! Let’s hear it for my Emma charm!”
“Yeah, your Emma charm. Although I’m not sure where the charm ends and the weirdness begins with you.”
I giggled. That was probably the most accurate description of me ever.
We left the café and walked down to the science area. When we got there, Michael showed me Dr. Bluebell’s classroom. But it was of course dark and empty.
“Dang, he must’ve just left.”
“No!” I whined. “Michael, I need to talk to him. Email him and tell him that Emma Abbott from the Carlisle Cougar wishes to interview him.”
“He said not to email him unless it’s class related.”
“Dammit!” I plopped down on a nearby bench. “What about his office? Do you know his office room number?”
“He doesn’t have one I don’t think.”
“Ugh! Okay whatever, I guess he is just a smart ass then.” I folded my arms.
“Why are you so obsessed with this whole magic thing anyway?” Michael sat down next to me.
“Because-“ I turned to him. “I’m a logical person, and the things I’ve seen go beyond logic and reason. I just need answers, you know?”
Michael nodded. “You’ve always been like a Hermione type.”
I chuckled at that. “I’ve always seen myself as Ginny Weasley from the books. But I can hardly deny that I’m Hermione too.”
Then I sighed and leaned against the wall behind me. I bumped my head against it a few times, as if trying to knock all the thoughts around in my mind hoping maybe they’d manifest into something new. And then Michael said-
“Hey, was that door there a second ago?”
I whipped around and stood up. Sure enough, there was a door there. And it surely wasn’t there a second ago.
“Michael-“ I smiled and laughed. “This couldn’t be it, could it?”
He shrugged. “Couldn’t be what?”
“Bluebell’s office!”
“But I don’t think he has a-“
“Michael, a door just appeared. Out of the wall. This has to mean something, right?”
Then the door opened. I saw a tall, thin man in his thirties with straight, long blue hair dressed in a lab coat and suit with small round glasses. Seemed to fit the description. He appeared to be very calm and gentle, like he would never hurt a fly.
“Oh, hey Dr. Bluebell.” Said Michael.
“What are you up to, Michael?” He asked my friend.
“Just hanging out with my friend Emma.”
He looked at me.
“Hello!” I waved my hand at him and smiled.
“Emma Abbott! You must be the young woman wishing to know about magic?” He said, smiling and opening the door the rest of the way.
“Yes! That’s me. I’m from the-“
“-Carlisle Cougar yes. I am impressed, you took the advice from the webpage seriously!”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You used your head to find my office!”
I was confused. “I-“ then I remembered. “Oh! I bumped my head against the wall! Of course! That was actually a total mistake.” I laughed nervously.
“Ah, oh well. I’m still a bit rusty on mind reading. Won’t you come inside?”
“I will!” I agreed, a mixture of excitement and nervousness stirring within me. “Are you coming, Michael?”
“He- is not invited because he has a chapter on chromosomes to read.” Bluebell said.
“Oh y-yeah. Sorry, Dr. Bluebell.” Michael waved to me and I waved back. “Bye Michael! See you Monday!” And Bluebell closed his office door.
The office itself was normal looking, with some science and magic-inspired decorations and posters on the walls.
“One of my pupils, Rachel Murray, pointed out to me that a young woman from the campus newspaper was asking her about students walking around with their body parts swapped.” Bluebell told me as he walked around and sat behind his desk. I just kind of stood there awkwardly with my arms folded.
“Yeah! Oh yeah, I met someone named Rachel whose arms-“
“-and legs were swapped. Indeed. She’s an amateur sorceress, so she is undergoing that particular transformation to broaden her horizons in magic. You, however, don’t seem to have any magical precedents.”
“I uh, no.” I shook my head. “I actually didn’t even know magic was real until I saw some students walking around like that.”
“Of course. I’ve actually been teaching science courses here at Carlisle for five years, and only this year was I allowed to start a magic club. I guess those on the board who believed magic to be synonymous with ‘witchcraft’ finally became the minority.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, that makes sense. But how come no one else was asking them how they’re walking around, say, with their head on backwards? Am I the only one who’s taken notice?”
“Pretty much. That fact that you noticed at all means you are very intuitive. Magic literally creates a wall of normality if you will, so that people won’t start freaking out when they see that student with his head on backwards.”
“Right.” I nodded confidently. “That makes sense.”
“And now, as a reward for your intuition, I’d like to give you a magic trick!”
“Really? So like, teach me one and that way I can get into the magic club?”
Bluebell shook his head. “Not quite, rather I’m going to cast a spell on you that will allow you to attend the next magic club meeting.”
“Oh.” My heart was racing even faster. The thought of my physical body being changed to the extent of some of the students I’d seen was thrilling, if a bit scary. “Alright well, I’ll be honest. Some of the things I’ve seen, I’m not sure if I’m ready to uh- be that yet.” I admitted.
“Sure you are! But in any event, we are going to start off with something relatively simple. But first, I’d like to give you some background.”
I got a bit antsy. “Okay.” I nodded.
“So, like I said, I was finally able to start a magic club here once two of the college board members retired. Magic has been viewed as synonymous with witchcraft for some time, but it is now coming to popularity. Especially in Europe and Japan. Here in the US, religious values have really blocked it from gaining a major foothold until recent years. In fact, regions such as the Pacific Northwest are seeing a boom in the area of magic. It’s kind of in proportion with the legalization of marijuana.”
I nodded. “That makes a lot of sense! So that’s why I never knew magic was real. I grew up in a religious household and argued with my parents quite a bit before I finally moved out when I was 18.” I recalled. Bluebell nodded.
“Yes, so the negative stigma of it is very much still ground into the culture. But fear not, there is a place for you here.”
“Yay!” I clapped. “So what’s the magic trick you’re gonna do to me?” I asked anxiously.
“You’ll see in a second. But first, I’d like to bring something to your attention. You seem like a very intelligent and kind young woman, but I just need to warn you. A few years ago when I was doing private magic lessons I had a pupil who tried to permanently alter a girl who had a crush on her boyfriend. She tried to change her face around, and the pupil in question suffered severe consequences.” Bluebell explained.
“Wow, what happened to them? Both girls?”
“I fixed the one girl, and the other was suspended for a month with no face.”
“Oof. Sounds brutal.” I said.
“Yes, but the thing with permanence magic is that, while it is real, I do not teach such things. I may tell my pupils that what I’m teaching is permanence magic so that they don’t try anything. I’ll then later reveal to them that it is indeed real.”
I processed all this for a moment. “Wow, so this is all real and has lots of depth to it.” I said.
Bluebell nodded. “Yes, but today I won’t be teaching you how to do magic, but rather I will be casting a spell on you. It is actually a form of permanence magic, since you won’t be able to reverse the spell yourself without further instruction, but I will reverse it when you attend magic club on Friday.”
My heart was beating out of my chest. “Wow, so when are you going to do the trick?” I asked.
“Right now, if you’re ready.”
I hesitated. “I’m ready!”
“Okay then, one… two.. three!”
Something was very different. I was all of a sudden down on Bluebell’s desk, or I was looking up at him at least. I could feel my chin and jaw resting on the surface of the desk but I was still standing somehow. I also couldn’t move my head. Needless to say, I was confused. “Umm, what did you do to me?” I asked with a giggle.
“I will show you.” And he reached forward, putting his hands on either side of my head and I was lifted up, I could feel my hair hanging down but not brushing my neck or my back. “You value your mind and intellect, yes?” He asked.
“Uh, yeah of course!” I chuckled nervously.
“So this is going to be an interesting experience for you, having your mind taken away. Or really, separated from your body.”
I didn’t know what to say as Dr. Bluebell rotated me in his hands. And standing there was- me! Well me, except I no longer had my dirty blond locks, bright green eyes, dimples, button nose, or anything from the neck up for that matter. Yeah, I was headless. So my head was in Dr. Bluebell’s hands. I was speechless, I had no idea how this was even possible.
“How are you feeling right now?” Bluebell asked me.
“Umm, confused?” I chuckled. “How am I still alive?” I pondered, realizing I could still control my body. As I lifted my hand, the headless girl in front of me did the same. It was like looking in a mirror but flipped.
“You are only externally beheaded, therefore your throat, arteries, spinal cord, all that, are still connected internally.” He explained.
“Right, so umm, what do I do now?” Was all I could think to ask.
“You tell me. What do you think you should do?”
“Put my head back on?” I said truthfully.
“Incorrect.” And then I turned, or rather, Bluebell did and began slowly walking around the office. Moving while standing still was disorienting.
“If you wish to know and understand magic, then you must be comfortable with such things as this. You may not like the idea of being apart from your head, because you rely on it. For thinking, knowing, learning, and perhaps for some vanity related reasons as well.” He was right about that. “You may fear that your body will go off and do something foolish, without your head to guide it.”
I looked over at my body, standing there with my arms folded. I looked like one of those headless mannequins you see at the mall, especially my neck. “But I can still feel my body.” I told him.
“But what if you couldn’t?” Bluebell suggested. I thought about it.
“Well, I’d have no way of getting my head around. Assuming it’s still- not on me.”
“Yes, so, your body may be something you take for granted. And that’s why I’d like you to rely on your body more. Miss Abbott, you have- or rather, you had a very good head on your shoulders-“ I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “-but now, you will have to rely on your body to do a lot of the work. It is a separation of mind and body, of energy and matter, of what you may see and what you may do.”
Speaking of my mind, it was being blown in more ways than one in that moment. Dr. Bluebell was really opening my eyes to the whole world of magic. A million thoughts, questions and ideas were pouring through my disconnected head at that moment. This is the one that made it out of my mouth-
“So, the lesson is that, while I may be smart and clever, my head can’t do all the work.”
“Precisely, and now you must learn the importance of the body. To find balance.”
“Wow, my mind is properly blown.” I said.
“As it should be, so come and retrieve your head when you are ready.” Dr. Bluebell set my head down on the desk again facing my body. I was again resting on my jawline.
I took a moment to watch my body. I jumped up and the headless girl did the same. I raised my hands and she copied me, then I brought a hand to the top of my neck, where my head had been for the past 21 years. I was wearing my choker too which I thought looked cool. That was still me, right? The headless girl was wearing the same t-shirt, cardigan, jeans, and Chuck Taylors that I had been. She had my bag slung over her shoulder. I could control her, but she didn’t really feel like- me. But I suppose that was the whole point of this.
“So, do I just- pick up my head?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I stepped forward, and my body came closer to me. God that was disorienting. But not as disorienting as picking my head up off the desk. Moving independent of my body was really odd, like I was seeing out of a handheld camera. I turned myself in my hands to face the rest of the office, and tucked my head under my arm. My chin and jaw actually provided an adequate grip.
“Very good, I think you’ll have no issues carrying your head around for the next two days.” Dr. Bluebell told me.
“Right, wait what about driving? I need to drive back to my apartment after my next class.” I told him.
“You can put your head back on if you need to, but it won’t stay if you make any sudden or jerky movements. So be careful.”
“Got it!” I gave a thumbs up.
“So our meeting is on Friday at 4. Just come to campus and like you did before, use your head.”
“Right, that will be a lot more evident now.” I giggled.
“Exactly. See you on Friday, and don’t lose your head.”
“Of course!” I walked to the door. Walking wasn’t actually as hard as I thought it’d be, but I think it was because my head was facing straight on while under my arm.
“Thanks, Dr. Bluebell!” I said, trying to turn my head. I waved my free hand.
“Please, call me Blue.”
“Okay. Thanks, Blue!” I opened the office door and stepped back into the hallway, turning my body to smile at him before I closed the door, which vanished as soon as my hand left the handle.