“Hell… you mean to tell me Naomi was here the whole time?!”
“Well… maybe? I mean, I don’t know who put it here, but its-, her… I mean, the poster’s been there for like six or seven weeks, at least.”
“Just… why did you…”
“I didn’t do anything! The poster’s been there for ages! I just, sorta, noticed it was there one day…”
“And you didn’t think it was weird that there was a full body, life sized poster of Project Manager Naomi Oakai posted in a men’s restroom?!”
“I mean… not really? I mean, no less weird that normal. We sort of set up this office in a hurry after the move. It’s very clearly an apartment complex we renovated in a rush, and we still have boxes of materials, supplies, equipment, and probably a few interns laying around. And it’s not like we don’t have that graphic designer hung up by the cubicles, or that one intern-calendar in the break room. So, seeing a latex-clad full-body poster posted up by the wash didn’t really seem out of the ordinary! How was I supposed to know it was a manager?”
“Uhg, this whole move has been such a shit-show. She’s been missing for three months and I find her, in the bathroom of a minor office, laminated and pinned to a wall… Just… just tell me, why was she posted up in the men’s room?”
“Well… I dunno. I didn’t post it… her… up here. But, uh… the poster is super well laminated. And guys mostly kept her clean… Uh, I think Josh may have hung her up”
“Yeah, Josh, the guy who can’t tell us anything because of his run in with the Total-Immersion Latexification Submission Bodice ™, so we won’t be getting any answers from her, unless she can figure out how to wriggle in morse code. Well, at least we found her. Corporate has been pestering me for months to find Naomi.”
“So… are you going to turn her back?”
(Sighs) “Nah, can’t. The reversal process only works within ten days of printing, otherwise the magic settles and the morphic field crystalizes. If the timeframe you remember is correct, it was already too late to restore her when she was first hung up here. This may be the first time she’s heard it, but she’s a poster now and forever.”
“But, if she’s just going to a picture, why bother searching? I mean, uh, might as well leave her here?”
“Well, her transmission was a big milestone. We’ve proven we can revert the process… if we don’t lose the subject in a move for three months… but even if we didn’t restore her, she’s still the first person to be wirelessly transmitted in a physical state over a significant distance. We’ve been receiving requests from the Museum of Arcane Sciences, and corporate thinks it’d be a good way to spin this whole thing. They’ve got a space in their Transformed Trailblazers section waiting for her, with a lovely plaque all set up. C’mon, help me get her down. And if you really need something to wank to that badly in here, try talking to that new intern, Stacy. Her work’s been pretty lousy, and you could probably talk her into the old fax machine if you try…”