Mom had told me the same many times: “Stay away from the Valley of Sorrows.” It was a good advise. Those who walk into the valley dissapeared or changed until they were unrecognizable. Actually I didn't want to go through there but the city of Haven was at the other side of the Valley.

I had thought on two other possible routes, the Sulfur mountains or the Endless desert, but the stories the elders told about those places were also quite unnerving. Besides, the journey would be much longer. I wasn't particularly fan of the elder's bullshit, but I didn't have any other source of information.

So there I was, traveling through the valley, with my wrists and neck tied to a wooden stick over my shoulders. A second rope in my neck linked me to the man in front of me. A third rope linked me to the man behind. A row of six people walking towards our deaths. Lengths of rope joining our ankles made the trip even more pathetic.

Our captors were corpulent and tall, so they needed to stop from time to time to eat. Whenever I heard their grunts and their strong jaws chewing the raw meat and cracking the bones, my stomach felt sick. Knowing that a pair of days earlier we were seven people in the row made the espectacle even worse. I was the second. The man before me used to pray in silence to whatever gods he believed in. I kept telling him that he didn't need gods, he needed weapons, though in absence of weapons a good miracle would suffice, I guessed.

The ape-men finished their third lunch and made us stand up again threatening us with their spears. They didn't seem smart. Threatening with a spear someone who knows is going to die anyways was pretty stupid. Threatening someone with a spear when their hairy muscular arms clearly were more dangerous was even more stupid. I had two theories. Either their behavior was due to some kind of tradition and there wasn't any particular reason, or they were following someone else's orders. If they had a leader maybe they were taking us with him, her, it or whatever. In that case we had a good reason to keep walking. This leader might feel some pity and let us leave. Maybe we could become their slaves. Maybe we could kill it in a pointless suicidal blaze of glory.

I didn't believe in any god, so I was my own god, with all the responsabilities. When I was desperate I needed to make a plan, any plan, bacause I knew that no one was coming. On the other side, I didn't believe in demons. I was my own demon, so I had the power to ruin all my plans. The plan was to find their leader and improvise, the devil is in the details...

In our hunting trips, my dad used to say that I was very lucky. A day later, the man in front of me was abandoned by his gods and eaten by a bunch of disgusting ape-men. It was my turn. A few hours later we arrived to a village were a few tens of ape-women were doing their daily chores which apparently included eating their ape-childs' lices and also the lices of their ape-husbands, ape-boyfriends, ape-friends and ape-whatevers. Awpesome...

In addition to the tents made with leather, rope and wood, were the ape-men lived, there were also, at least, a hundred prisoners in a few big cells made also with wood and ropes. Most of them seemed scared, or angry. The rest just seemed resigned and defeated. Our captors took me and my four unwilling companions to one of those already full cells. They untied us and shoved us inside. Then I understood why the prisoners hadn't tried to break or dismantle the cells, even when they seemed quite fragile. The ape-men were just too strong, it was impossible to overpower them. Each of them weighed, at least, the same as three humans.

There was nothing to do other than to wait. The ape-women brought us water and meat. I drank the water but left the meat. I could imagine what kind of animal were they using to feed us. Besides, the meat was raw and had insects. Either they didn't know shit about health care or our lifes were going to be short anyways. Both, probably.

The night came. Along the day more groups of ape-men had arrived with more prisoners. I noticed that there was a full moon. During all the day a group of old ape-men dressed in something that barely looked like a tunic, had been wandering around a big hole on the ground. They take turns kneeling, uttering some rhythmichal sounds that were probably words, a song maybe, throwing pieces of meat inside the hole and beating their chests with their fists, also rythmichally. Then I realized that everything seemed surprisingly coordinated. Full cells, songs, the moon..., it was some kind of festivity.

The moon was about to reach the zenith. The ape-men opened my cell and made us walk towards the hole, testing my father's theories about my luck. The ape-men dressed in tunics kept uttering the same sounds in unison this time. Suddenly, a strong roaring emerged from the hole, perfectly coordinated with the moon's rise. All the ape-people shut up, gathered around us and stared at the hole.

One of the apes dressed in a tunic, who I deduced was some kind priest, made a gesture to a pair of soldiers. They grabbed a prisoner by his arms, took him to the hole and shoved him inside. We all could hear a short squeak, a strong creak, some chewing and silence again. Whatever was waiting for us in the hole, didn't seem pleasant. Other priest pointed at a woman and the guards repeated the process. Again a squeak, chewing and silence in a matter of seconds. The prisoners were already well aware of our fate. The next chosen one tried to fight but his efforts were quickly interrupted by a punch in his face that left him unconscious. They threw them into the hole anyways. Apparently our suffering or its absence were irrelevant, we were just food. Some of the prisoners tried to run but we were surrounded and our enemy was much stronger. Others preferred to cry, to piss themselves or to pray.

Whatever was inside the hole didn't seem to have a limit. The captives were falling one by one. It was finally my turn. Spurred, perhaps, by my pride and my despair I didn't wait for the guards and advanced on my own. Inside the hole, close to the edge, there was and old and rusty metallic grille. There was a circular hole in the middle, big enough for an human or even for and adult ape-man. Most of the grille was actually a gate. On one side there were two big and rusty hinges. On the other side there was a large iron bar passing through a big eyebolt. To my mind came, perhaps, the world's most stupid idea.

I grabbed a stone and jumped on the grille. Down there, on the dark, I could see a bunch of tentacles wide as an human waist, each of them ended in four claws. I could hear a soft but constant roaring. I was supposed to fall through the hole and the ape-men were supposed to make sure of it, but they didn't seem to want to get closer. I didn't know how much time would they need to gather enough courage so I got busy. I hit the tip of the metal bar. It barely moved an inch but a part of the oxide detached. The guards looked at each other with a mix of fear and confussion. Both were horrified but none of them wanted to jump into the hole. I hit a couple more times and the bar moved several inches through the eyebolt. A tentacle hit on the grille under my feet and I almost lost balance. The roaring increased in intensity. Either the monster was intelligent and understood what was happening or it was just hungry. I crossed my fingers and striked again with all my strength. The bar tumbled out. For a brief moment everything seemed to freeze. The guards, the monster, the captives..., all in perfect silence. A bunch of tentacles hit the gate, which opened with a strong creak making me fly out the hole. The fall knocked me out.

I regained consciousness a couple of minutes later and what I saw amazed me. The monster was nothing more than a dark green six feet spherical body with lots of long and thick tentacles all around and eyes in the gaps between tentacles, except for a big mouth with several rows of teeth. It seemed to prefer to eat ape-men as it was chasing them and ignoring the humans. The apes had left their homes and all their belongings and were running away in small groups, taking a different direction each.

Some of the former prisoners wanted to thank me. They used different dialects of the same language, one of the few positive remnants of the old world. I ignored them. I already had lost too much time. I got in one of the tents looking for anything valuable, as I had lost my backpack when I was captured. Apparently they had the means to cook meat and they had also gathered some fruit and vegetables. I put in a leather bag as much food as I could carry, and filed a wineskin with water. I also grabbed a spear and a knife made with some kind of sharp-edged stone. I left the village saying goodbye more or less politely whenever any of my new unwanted friends insisted too much. What were they thanking me? I had just tried to save myself.



A couple of days later I found a river. I was very lucky as my water supply was suffering terribly. I took off my sweaty and dusty leather clothes, barely a top and a short skirt, and jumped into the water. After a week walking under the hot sun, to float on that river felt really good. I caressed my breasts with one hand and touched myself down there with the other. Solitude had its advantages, indeed. I heard some steps. I submerged myself so only half my face and the upper part of my light brown hair could be seen, and hid behind some bushes.

It was a young man, more or less my age. He was one of those who had been captured by the ape-men's before me. He was already inside the cell when I arrived to the village. He looked around looking for something. Probably me. He found my stuff. I grabbed a couple of stones ready to defend my scarce belongings, in case he intended to steal something. Instead, he just sat next to them. I stayed behind the bushes hoping that the sucker would fuck off, but he didn't. He just got up a couple of times to drink water and take a pee.

-What the hell do you want?- I asked when I ran out of patience.

-Hey, where are you?- He got up and looked around.

-What do you want!?- I yelled.

-Ok, ok. Slow down. I just wanted to meet you. That's all.- He raised his hands as a sign of surrender.

-Turn around and walk away.- I didn't trust him not for a second, but I would surely trust him a bit more with a spear in my hands.

-Please, no. I just want to talk with you. I promise.

-I'm naked, you moron. Turn around!- He did as requested. I ran towards my belongings and dressed quickly. I grabbed the spear and got ready to attack as soon as I saw something suspicious.- I don't want to meet anyone. I'm not buying whatever you are selling. And I'm sure as hell I'm not sleeping anywhere near you.

-You are overreacting a bit, don't you think?

He kept teeling that he wasn't going to hurt me. I didn't trust him, but I had to admit that he hadn't done anything inappropriate other than following me. Perhaps I was being too wary. He didn't even seem to be armed. On the other hand, maybe he just wanted to spy me while I was in the water, but I ruined it when when I heard him. He was so interested in making me trust him that he even gave me a part of his food, which was even more suspicious, so I rejected his proposal.

Despite my roughness he still was being nice. He told me a few jokes and made me laugh. No one had made me laugh since my parents died years ago and I loved the feeling in my stomach. After a couple of hours I began to accept the idea of having a companion in my trip. I hadn't realized yet how lonely I was being feeling so far. I told him that I was going to Haven, but I lied when I said that my family was there waiting for me. He told me that he wasn't interested in that place but his village was in the same direction, meaning that he was going to walk at my side, in front or behind anyways. I surely didn't want him at my back. I preferred to have him in front so his corpse could warn me about any possible danger in the route, but I couldn't ask him to be my human shield. We agreed to stablish a simple defense system. I would tie a rope around my ankle, it would make a loop around the branch of one of the trees and then he would tie the other end around his ankle. That way, if any of us moved the other would notice the tug. It wasn't perfect but it was good enough.

Nothing happened the first night, nor the second or the third. Just tranquil conversations, and a couple of harmless discussions. The fourth day, though, something changed. He mentioned the topic that sooner or later someone always mentions, especially if they are single and young. He just mentioned the possibility. He didn't touch me and he didn't insist too much. He was being polite. Still I rejected it. It wasn't for fear, as I was sure that I would defeat him in a fight. Neither was it for lack of desire or curiosity as it would have been my first time and it had been a long time since I reached adulthood. There was other reason.

-Let me see you, at least.- He said.

-It's not a good idea.- He had actually a point. Well, in fact, he didn't had a point but neither did I have a good reason to reject his idea, as I was actually curious about what would happen. I wanted to show him but I had some doubts.- You won't like it.

-Come on, that's not true. Besides, if I don't like I just have to close my eyes.- He kept pushing. I reluctantly accepted, and showed him. Her face proved that my doubts were appropriate.- That's... That's why you are going to Haven. You think they will accept you.

-Yes I...

-Well, they won't!- I wasn't expecting that answer. He had been so nice so far.- You are a monster!- I could feel his disgust. The first time someone had called me that was my grandma when my head barely reached her midthigh. My mom slapped her face and my grandpa slapped my mom's. I didn't saw them again.

-Excuse me, what?- I wasn't a child anymore. I could have killed him the first day before his nice words could be able to mess with my head. I had respected him and I deserved the same.- What did you say!?- My anger was boiling.

-You are a monster! And I wanted to...- He pretended to be about to vomit.- It's so disgusting!

-Why!?- I yelled.- I have a penis and a vagina. What makes me disgusting!?- I didn't let him answer, I didn't care.- You want a monster!? I'll show you one!

I grabbed from the ground the knife that earlier I was carrying on my waist. The rest became blurry. I regained control a few minutes later. I was covered in blood straddling his chest. He had a lot of wounds on his chest and arms and a few more on his face. I guessed I should be ashamed of my outburst, but I wasn't. At that moment I was pretty sure that he deserved to die, though not like that, perhaps.

It didn't mattered. I had to keep going. I needed to find that city, Haven. They would help me. They would make me better. There I could be just myself, and nothing less.