“Good Morning, Girls!” The voice of Howard Weiss assaulted the girls’ rooms earlier than usual, throwing them all off, “You’ve got a long shuttle ride today! So best to get out and give this midweek challenge all you’ve got!”
~~~
One Long Bus Ride Through The Desert Later
All of the girls had opted to use the bus ride as a way to get back the couple of hours of sleep that Howard had rudely stolen from them that morning. Because of this, the girls didn’t recognize the fact that they had been driven all the way from Las Vegas to Hollywood until Drake had woken them up to get off the bus.
They walked out of the bus and into a movie set that was clearly decorated like a forest. It was almost convincing with real trees and various mushrooms and plants strewn about, if not for the fact that there was a clear outline where the muddy floor they were hoping for transitioned into a bright blue tarp, which clearly was laid atop the asphalt of the movie lot.
“Girls,” Drake said, clapping his hands together, “Have we got a treat for you today! Because today, I’m excited to announce that the celebrity guest brought on to introduce our third midweek challenge is none other than world famous actress, Genie Schutter!”
The trees in the makeshift forest set began to rustle, and out from the trees came an elegant, brown-haired centauress. The brown hair of her horse half matched the color of her hair, which was tied back and braided in a warrior’s style pony tail. Her horse half had no visible anatomy, and the only thing preventing her breasts from hanging out was a rather skimpy piece of brown fabric. Shockingly, she had two sets of arms, one of which was aiming a bow at the girls, while the other two carried two very intimidating war axes. She was screaming bloody murder, until she spotted the girls, her entire demeanor changing in an instant as she lowered her weapons and said, “Hello girls!”
“And… Cut! Excellent shot Genie,” A short man in a director’s vest said, walking through the guests as she gave her a bottle of water, “It’s gonna look great for the cross-promotion advertisement. Anything you need before I give the guys the rest of the day off so you can do this judging thing?”
“Yeah, could you help me out of this costume? You know I hate the way the horse hair the costume guys used feels,” Genie said, scratching uncomfortably at the spot where her human skin met with her horse half.
“Sure thing! Costume!” The director shouted into a megaphone, two stagehands running out holding a large screen between them. They placed it down, blocking the cameras from seeing what they were doing to Genie, although several pieces of brown, furry fabric were placed onto the screen. After only a few moments, the two stage hands appeared around the edges of the screen once more, lifting it up and carrying it away.
Genie was now wearing a slightly more conservative top, in that it was a short-cut, green tank top that allowed for extra room in the shoulders to give her two sets of arms more room. However, it was now revealed that Genie wasn’t actually a centaur, but rather a humantaur! Two pairs of short pink skirts (the front pair being modified to make way for her second torso) maintaining her modesty, while a simple pair of red converse shoes were on each pair of feet.
Genie stretched out her back torso in a similar manner to a lion, bending her front legs while standing on her tiptoes with her back, exclaiming, “Whoo! It’s always so nice to get out of that.” Drake ogled Genie as she sauntered her hips, to which she said, “You can look all you want Drakey, but you better remember the rules I gave about wanting to touch.”
Drake broke his gaze, shaking his head as he recounted, “Yeah… I remember Genie. ‘Not unless I put a ring on it’.”
“Glad to know we’re on the same page. Now girls, follow me into ‘The Enchanted Forest’!” Genie used her four arms to produce an interesting wave effect, as she slowly walked backwards into the forest, the girls following close behind her.
~~~
Central Clearing
“Welcome girls! To ‘The Magical Clearing’ at the center of ‘The Enchanted Forest’!” The clearing itself was rather beautifully designed, with blue, luminous mushrooms set about the water’s edge, giving a nice blue glow to the area that was seemingly blocked off from sunlight. “Now, in my new movie ‘The Realm Wars V: Invasion of Hatvan’ I play the warrior princess, Jeanne, who after being tasked by her father, Ja- I mean The Magician King, to retrieve the one mythical artifact, through which he could stop the virus placed upon his kingdom by his archenemy, from the Hatvan Realm. After journeying through the maze-like twists and turns of the enchanted maze, I enter this magical clearing and retrieved the artifact!” Under her breath, she whispered so that nobody could hear her, “I mean… it didn’t look anything like this in real life… but that’s what you get when you hire shoddy ghost writers…”
She cleared her throat, “Now, your challenge is simple. Clutching on to your artifact,” she walked down the line of contestants, handing each one a tiny golden statue, “Make your way back through the enchanted forest! First one to make it to the entrance wins!” She began to walk away with Drake, before looking over her shoulder and saying, “Oh, and girls. Don’t bother trying to come back the way we came in. The enchanted forest’s already changed the paths around.”
And as the pair crossed the threshold of the clearing, the branches closed off behind them, leaving the girls in the center of a massive maze.
~~~
Sinopia
“As long was I just keep my right hand to the wall, I’ll find my way out of the maze eventually,” Sinopia said to herself, cheerily walking along the rather dark trail in the forest, completely oblivious to the fact that the paths around her were shifting around in order to make sure she went in a loop.
~~~
Sable
Sable carefully walked around the enchanted forest set. Any little noise she heard would cause her to jump a little bit in the air. She was never much of an outdoorsy kid growing up, and it seemed that this challenge was hitting her a bit harder than it was the other contestants. Every time she turned a corner, she almost swore that she saw something move out of the corner of her eye.
“It’s okay Sable…” She started telling herself, “It’s just Drake and the crew playing up the scare factor… They wouldn’t put us in this forest if there was anything actually dangerous in here…” Just as she had finished this thought, a growl came from behind her. As Sable turned, she hardly had the time to scream as she was captured by a large, green blur.
~~~
Outside of the Enchanted Forest
“Genie… look, I know that the reason we broke up is because I didn’t want to get married. But I’m telling you, Genie, I’m a changed man! Can’t we just get back together again, but not get married? I promise I won’t bring that up again,” Drake told her.
“I don’t know Drake,” Genie said, “I’m just not sure that you’re ready for a real relationship. Because I know what you really want, and I’m afraid what I’m after is love, not lust. I want it just as bad as you do, but if you’re not willing to be exclusive, than I’d rather not waste my time and energy.”
“Is it really that much of a crime to not want to get married? I’ll be exclusive to you Genie, I won’t even enter a restaurant if there’s another girl there, but I just can’t tie myself down with all of the expectations that come with marriage!” Drake pleaded.
Genie decided to just ignore this outburst, looking down at her watch, commenting “Hey… It’s been a while since they’ve been in there…”
“Genie, Please just listen to me!” Drake continued to whine.
Genie continued to ignore him, pulling out a little device with a green oscilloscope style line. The line was going haywire, with almost a constant level of visual blur on what should have been a perfectly straight line. “Morgana!” Genie cursed under her breath.
“You know, if you really didn’t want to get back together, a simple no would suffice, Genie.”
“Drake,” Genie said, standing up from her specialized seat, “I need to make a phone call. I’ll be back in a bit,” and she began walking away from the production so that she could double back around into the forest set without being seen.
“Ha! Who’s dodging commitment now!” Drake shouted back childishly, before looking back towards the camera and realizing that they had been recording the entire time, “And… uh… Let’s go back and see how our contestants are doing!”
~~~
Maya
Maya felt like she had been walking for ages. She had been lucky, the way she took out of the center of the maze leading her to a stone path that she thought she could follow to get to the exit, but it really seemed that this path was endless.
Just as she was about to round another corner, one of the branches from the nearby tree swung out, striking her cleanly in the eye. “Aggh!” She shouted out in pain, covering her eye with both of her hands to block any more assaults on her sole means of seeing. She tried to squint a little bit, but the pain was still too much, leading to her to start stumbling around a bit… before she found herself pressing up against something slimy.
“What the-“ She didn’t get to finish her sentence, the large green wall opening up and swallowing her whole.
~~~
Sinopia
“Hello Mr. Rock!” Sinopia said, as she passed the same vaguely head shaped rock for the fifth time, finally stopping in her tracks. She bent down to pick up the rock, and asked it, “Mr. Rock… Do you think I’ve been walking in circles?” She shook it up and down, indicating ‘yes’.
“Hm… Then I guess it’s time to change up my tactics!” She threw the rock to the ground, “From now on, I’m going with the left hand only strat!” She stuck out her left hand, and it was only a matter of moments before the forest had once again trapped Sinopia in a circular loop.
~~~
Annette
“Man… If only Rocky were here,” Annette said as she walked through the forest, “This place reminds me so much of when I first found him…”
Annette paused for a moment at a fork in the road. She stuck her nose up in the air, “Formaldehyde?” she said aloud, “Why would there be something like that in the forest?” She started to follow her nose, going down one path until-
Suddenly, a green tentacle shot out through the air, directly towards Annette. She managed to duck out of the way in time, revealing what had been stalking the contestants this whole time.
The strange creature did not really have a tangible form, more so looking like a giant green blob than anything else, although it did have an almost mutated like face. Inside the blob, floating in two capsules that looked like they were filled with orange goo was Sable and Maya, both frozen with a look of terror on their face. An additional two sacks of orange goo were floating empty on either side of her friends.
Annette, never having seen a beast like this before, she stood in shock as the beast sent another tentacle of goo her way. She was certainly going to share the same fate as the others.
The tentacle dropped to the ground. “Annette! Get down!” Genie shouted, holding a sword that glowed bright red. Annette did as she was told, lying down on the ground, as she watched the humantaur actress make quick work of the slime monster.
After the beast was fully down, Genie sliced through the two orange sacs, Sable and Maya gasping for air as they were suddenly able to move again, spitting out large amounts of the disgusting smelling slime. “Annette, can you help the others get on my back? It’ll be easier and safer if I just walk you all to-”
“What was that thing!?” Annette managed to finally get out, “Where did you learn to fight monsters like that!? What’s that sword?!”
“Look. I really don’t have the time to answer all of your questions," Genie sounded annoyed, "The challenge was just supposed to be a fun little shifting maze, but clearly somebody messed with it. We need to focus on getting you girls out safely, and before another beast like that comes to attack. Now will you please help them up? They probably feel really weak after being eaten alive.”
Annette made to help Maya up, when suddenly the trees around her began retracting.
~~~
The Edge of the Forest
"Congratulations Sinopia!” Drake announced, the forest set slowly sinking into the fake earth beneath it, revealing the other contestants and Genie, who quickly did her best to hide her fancy sword, “For being the first to make it to the end of the forest!”
“Oh my God! I won!” Sinopia said, Genie wincing slightly “I did it!” Little did Sinopia know, the forest had taken pity on the girl who had managed to walk around in a circle for almost a full hour, warping the maze terrain to let her leave.
When Drake turned around, he looked bewildered by the other contestants and Genie, “What happened in there?!”
~~~
Outside of the Movie Studio
“Well…” Drake said, after being given a short explanation by Genie (who did not reveal all the facts about what was actually going on) “I think we can all agree that there were some things that went on in there that would probably be better that we simply forget.”
The camera panned over to the contestants, where Annette still looked like she was in shock from her monster encounter, Maya and Sable were soaked in orange goo that reeked of Formaldehyde, and Genie looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there right now.
“But, I cannot-“
“Yeah yeah. I officially declare this challenge over. Sorry Drake, I’ve gotta go!” Genie said, running off after seemingly spotting someone.
“O-okay” Drake said before whispering, “call me…”
Drake put on a brave face, turning back to the camera and announcing, “Well folks, I guess that’s our show… Make sure you all vote on what you think an appropriate punishment for our losing contestants would be. Goodnight Everybody!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
& And Now, A Word From Our Sponsors &
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“In a world,” The voiceover for the trailer began, “Beset by an ever-growing darkness,” The screen showed what looked like a shadow falling over some British country-side. “The Great Magician King, Jerome Schrodinger desperately searches for a cure.”
The screen cut, showing a muscled individual with the head of a lion, sitting around at a large war room table. To his right, sat the centaur played by Genie, and to his left, the foot of a giant could be spotted. “Ariel, you know Zolthar better than anyone else. Where would he have hidden the cure for this plague?” The lion headed individual asked in a rugged, action hero voice.
The screen cut over to what looked like a poorly, cgi-ed genie, her skin dark blue and a disturbingly realistic human face patched to its animated head, “My liege… I think I might know where…”
“So he decides to send the person he knows is best for the job,” The voiceover explained.
“Jeanne, I need you to go on this dangerous quest. You’re the only person who can do it.” The lion headed king said.
“But Dad! What about Jamal? He’s a giant!” Jeanne whined.
“Because dear, I need to send my best, sneakiest spy in, and with your elf brother, Derrick, out of commission from the plague, you’re the only one I can trust to complete this assignment.”
“Join Jeanne, as she travels to the dangerous Hatvan realm,” The voiceover said, a small video of Jeanne on some sort of modified hover bike riding through a red desert. “Explores the enchanted forest,” Another video played of Jeanne walking through the Enchanted Forest set that the day’s challenge had gone through. “And maybe find love?”
The video cut to Jeanne and a tall, handsome, man who was half scorpion, clutching each other in a tight embrace, “Oh Ben… We can’t! I am bound by my father to never be able to date one of Zolthar’s men!”
“And I bound by Zolthar. But who are they to challenge love that blooms on the battlefield?” He pulls her in for a kiss, causing little blue electric sparks to fly out.
“Starring:
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as King Jerome
Taylor Lautner as Benedict
Zac Efron as Jamal
Daniel Radcliffe as Derrick
Fergie as Ariel
Arnold Schwarzenegger as Zolthar
and Genie Schutter as ‘Jeane Schrodinger’
The Realm Wars, Episode V: Invasion of Hatvan. Coming Soon to a theater near you!” The commercial ended with a shot of the rather simplistic logo of the movie, the orchestral John Williams score getting louder.
~~~
Meanwhile… Another time, in another Realm
“So… What do you think, Daddy?” Genie asked after the projector showed the trailer for her upcoming movie.
“Remind me why I have a lion’s head in your movies, Genie?” the Magerian King, Jake Schutter asked.
“It’s because you’re so brave! Like a Lion!” Genie responded back.
“Well. I hated it!” Her stacked human brother, James said, “My character's just always told that he's too big to go on missions!”
“At least you're healthy in the stories!” Her regular human brother, David said, “It always seems like Genie finds some excuse to say that I'm sick! I'm not sick that much!”
“Now kids,” Jenny, the Magerian Queen smiled, “Don’t belittle your sister’s hard work.”
“Yeah!” Genie stuck out her tongue at her brothers, “If you think you could tell a better story, find your own realm to become a movie star in!”
“Maybe I will!” James crossed both of his sets of arms, “And my movies will make so much more money than yours!”
Jake just sighed as his children continued to argue. Even grown up, they still seemed to act like children.