“Alright everyone! Please gather in the auditorium for your first midweek challenge!” The voice of Drake echoed through the house.
Drake stood on the stage of the auditorium in his normal attire as the six contestants leisurely walked in. Behind him stood six similarly shaped, plain wooden boxes, a low quality, black and white picture of each contestant stuck to the front of each one. As the contestants stepped up onto the stage, Drake began his spiel, looking directly at the nearest camera, “Good evening contestants. Today’s challenge is a rather simple one, but it also represents a key skill a good assistant must have. This skill, of course being that ‘an assistant is willing to spend long, anguishing hours trapped up in a tightly confined space. The rules are simple, each of you will step into the box with your face, which has been carefully measured out such that you have a inch of space on all sides when you’re standing up right. Of course, these walls are pretty flimsy, so if you put too much pressure on them, perhaps like leaning on them to ease off your aching feet, the entire box will collapse and you will be disqualified from earning this week’s prize.”
“So, is everyone ready?” Drake asked as the contestants made their way to their designated coffin. Once he received a nod of approval from each contestant, he continued, “Great! Then get ready to close those doors! 3, 2, 1!” An airhorn sounded from somewhere off screen, and the doors were magically closed. Almost the moment that the doors were closed, Saffron’s cabinet came crashing around her. Drake looked at her in shock, “Um… Saffron? Did your door not close correctly?”
“No. It did,” Saffron said, making her way off of the stage and towards the auditorium doors, “I just think this challenge is going to be super boring, so I’d rather spend my time here having fun than just standing around all day.”
“Fair enough?” Drake said, giving a quizzical look towards the camera before turning back to the other contestants. The camera feed split to a hidden night vision shot of each contestant standing in their respective container giving similarly confused looks. “I guess that’s one down, five to go!”
~~~
Saffron & Amanda
“Hi Amanda!” Saffron said as she spotted Amanda watering some orchids in the greenhouse. The greenhouse looked like many rooms in the mansion did, opulent to the point of excessiveness. There were hundreds of variety of plants of every shape and size that took up almost every square inch of earth that wasn’t already taken up by a stone pathway.
“Oh, hello dear,” Amanda said, turning slightly. It took her a lot of energy to straighten up, but she eventually managed to get herself and her baby standing up. “You'll have to forgive me, but what was your name again?”
“Saffron,” saffron said, sticking out her hand, “Saffron v̸̸̧̀͝x̶̕͏̶͠n͘͝i̷͜͢͟ų̵̡̀̀o̴̢p̵͘҉f̢̀͘”
“Oh my, that’s a lovely last name.”
“Thanks! So, what are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be resting?”
“Probably, but David knows I’m here and how long it usually takes me to water everything. If I took too long he would probably send someone to check on me.”
“Well, don’t you have gardeners to help?”
“Oh no. You know David, he thinks that everything can be solved with a little bit of magic. Well, after the second time he tried to maintain the plants by magic and had managed to almost destroy the house again, I had to finally step in and forbid him from helping out,” Amanda chuckled at her reminiscing. “Now if you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing in my lovely little garden sanctuary?
“I wanted to see if I could poach some roses or a house plant. Add a bit of green to my bedroom,” Saffron said, eyeing around the Greenhouse for her target.
“Well, if you wanted something like that, you could have just asked David rather than stealing it. I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded.”
“…Would it be okay if I take some my roses back to my room?” Saffron asked.
“Sure thing dearie,” Amanda said, waddling over to her rose bush and cutting a few. “Could you conjure a vase or something for these?”
“No problem,” Saffron said, reaching behind her back and pulling out a yellow striped vase with water in it, which Amanda placed the roses into. “So, how have you been coping?” Saffron asked, gesturing slightly towards Amanda's distended stomach.
“Without magic?”
“Yeah, I don’t think I could ever go nine months without magic.”
“You say that now,” Amanda said, hugging her stomach and smiling, “but there are some things that are more important than magic- ooh!”
“What?”
“She’s kicking,” Amanda smiled, now rubbing her stomach, “Do you want to feel?”
~~~
Main Stage - 2:00 Hours into contest
“We’re two hours in to our endurance challenge, and besides Saffron, everyone has managed to stay in the game,” Drake said, giving a brief recap of the game thus far, "So, how's everyone holding up in there?" Some groans of boredom escaped from the boxes containing the remaining contestants. “Fantastic! Well, I'm about to your days much better because I have some good news. Well, good news for those of you who want to give up that is.”
From offstage, two crew members wheeled out a table with a feast of food on top. Everything from apples to zucchini and everything in between. “Now, I know you all must be getting hungry,” Drake said, “So, if you quit right now, you’ll get to enjoy this delicious spread of food straight from the craft services table along with the rest of the crew.”
Drake wasn’t sure if this was going to be enough to encourage anyone, but clearly it was, as both Jill’s and Holli’s box crashed open as they made their way towards the craft service table. “Well… that was easier than I thought.”
“Shut it Drake,” Jill said, as she stuffed her face with a chicken salad sandwich, muttering, “that’s the last time I skip breakfast.”
“Well, I’m sorry Holli and Jill, however you are out of the contest. If any of you three want to join them, you’ve probably got an hour before all of this food is gone,” Drake said in a sing song voice hoping to entice some more people to give up on this contest. When nobody else destroyed their box, he said “Suit yourself," making his own way towards the delicious spread.
~~~
Main Stage - 6:00 Hours into contest
“Alright, we’re six hours into the contest. Does anybody have to use the bathroom?”
“Yes please!” Cameron squealed. The feed from inside his box showing off that he was holding tightly to his bladder.
“Well, unfortunately you’re not getting it.”
“What?! I thought all endurance contests have to offer bathroom breaks,” Cameron whined.
“Technically we do. However it’s not like we’re forbidding you from going to the bathroom," Drake winked towards the camera.
“Fine, just shut up then!”
Of course, Drake wasn’t going to shut up. He had to try and squeeze some content out of this waste of his time. They were going to cut this section to only the most important parts anyways, so any time he was here, having to watch these stupid boxes, the more of his precious free time was being cut into. “Well, alright then, I will shut up. But I hope you don’t mind. I’m just going to pour myself a nice, big glass of lemonade.” Drake took his time pouring out his rather large glass of lemonade from a massive pitcher which was conveniently close to his microphone so that the remaining contestants could hear the sound of rushing liquid loud and clear. What should have been a ten second thing was extended to a glorious thirty seconds of sheer, bathroom-inducing agony. He took just as long to drink said glass of lemonade as he had to pour it, making sure to waterfall the drink into his mouth to get the best sound effect.
It was on the third glass of lemonade that a contestant finally broke out of their cage. Ophelia gave Drake her worst look as she rushed as quickly as she could to the door of the auditorium. As he was still drinking, he didn’t even get the chance to start speaking before she had left the room, “Sorry Ophelia, but it looks like your out. What about you Cameron? Do you still have to go.”
“Yeah,” Cameron said, determination in his voice, his legs still tightly pressed together “But I can hold it in a bit longer.”
~~~
Main Stage - 10:00 Hours into contest
*CRASH* the sound of last of the contestant’s box crashing woke Drake up. He had fallen asleep some time in the last four hours of simply watching these infernal boxes. He was going to have to have a chat with whichever producer thought this contest was going to be a good idea for entertainment. But, his suffering was finally over!
He looked over, and Cameron was passed out and spread eagle on the floor. “*Yawn* Well Cameron, it looks like you’re out, leaving Leela as our winner once again!” The door to Leela’s casket opened, revealing herself inside, her legs twirled around one another and her hands pressed together in front of her chest. “Leela?” Drake said once again, breaking her out of her meditation.
Her legs unwinded as she stepped out from her box. “Great! What did I win this time?”
“I’m glad you asked, because the people at home get to vote on it! Let’s see what they pick!”
To Saffron: “Wow, I could not believe you had that story. Though I am curious on what would have happened if you were the head instead of the body? Normally with head detachment, I often see people be the head while their bodies just aren't really conscious. I'm surprised that you wake up as a body instead.” -quad2
You’re right that most people who detach their head, they’ll lose control of their body, however someone who’s practiced detaching as much as I have have perfected the ability to remain in control of any parts that I detach. Of course, if someone were to attach my body parts to something else while they’re detached, I would lose anything that wasn’t connected directly to my brain.
That’s why my Dad taught me and my sisters how to store our brains in our chests, right next to our sweet little hearts! That way if someone sneaks up behind me and tries to break the connection between my head and body, they can’t just have their way with my mindless body. It’s also how my sister knew that I would be fine when she stole my head. If I still stored my brain in my head, my sister would have put my head on her body and I would have had full control.
To Ophelia: “You’ve had a number of fascinating lives.. Care to share any? Were they all in this reality?” -BaiSuzhen
Sadly, accessing the complete knowledge of our past lives is something only a full fledged witch is capable of, and I am still in training. Although, I have had visions of past lives pass through my mind when I was asleep. Most of them have been positive, although a few have been negative. For instance, in a past life my spirit inhabited the body of a butterfly that was sadly consumed by an evil spider. In another, I was a queen of a small tribe in central Africa that died when the Europeans were colonizing the area. As far as I can tell, these all occurred within this plane of reality, however when I become a full fledged witch I will be able to tell you if they did.
To Saffron: “Animation magic would be a great way to have a magician on stage without actually having a partner. Ever considered disguising a mannequin?” -BaiSuzhen
One thing my oldest sister warned me about is to never, ever animate anything that is not obviously non-human. Apparently what will happen is that the new life will be confused that it’s not truly human, and will do anything in its power to become fully human. I don’t know what exactly that entails, but it doesn't sound like a good thing. I guess it would be feasible to give life to and practice with a mannequin, but it would have to be one of those ones that don’t have a face… maybe missing a limb or two just to be extra safe. Fernando is probably as close to human that I’m willing to comfortably go though, and besides Mannequins are hard and made of plastic, not fluffy and full of love!
To Saffron: “Animation magic is a great ability, but how much experience do you have with the opposite? Have you ever put your mind into an inanimate object, either a mundane household item or animating one of your stuffed friends with your presence inside it; or have you traded places with an animated entity, being the teddy bear for your body?” -FlexibleAnatomy
Believe it or not, in College my Sorority’s Philanthropy revolved around placing our consciousness into stuffed animals. For those of us who offered (usually those of us who live in the Washington DC area, and even a few non Sorority volunteers) we’d go to the local children’s hospital on Christmas Eve and put our consciousness into stuffed animals while the staff stored our bodies, so that on Christmas every child in the hospital could have their own living stuffed animal. We’d generally stay around for a week or until the kids conditions got better so that they could leave, and then while they were sleeping, all sneak back into our bodies. Of course, there are some people who would decide to stay this way full time and so when their kid leaves, they’re passed on to the next kid in the hospital, like my Grand Big did. (Producer’s note: For those who may not understand the US Fraternity and Sorority system, a Big is generally the person who helps you through the selection process and makes sure that you understand the responsibilities of the organization, thus a Grand Big is a Big for your Big)
I’d usually feel bad for the kids who didn’t have someone willing to act as their full time companion while they were in the hospital, so when I leave I always make sure to animate anyone’s who’s person had to leave so that nobody has to feel bad about their little buddy suddenly losing their life.
I tend to avoid swapping consciousness with something I’ve already given a body to, because sometimes they tend to act a little… weird when they’re not in their body. When I animate something, they only get a light version of all of our senses. Like, they have many of the same basic senses like we have, but it’s not like I give them all the variety of sensors, like heat sensors, or *whispers* pleasure sensors *stops whispering*. All the extra feedback kind of means they go a bit haywire in testing them all out (if you catch my drift). After that, they get a little… depressed when I eventually have to swap them back. Although, now that you’ve brought it up, I totally need to get David to get me another giant stuffed bear just so I can hang out with Fernando and truly understand what it’s like to be a bear!
To Saffron: “Hi! Me again. Your name is quite unique, at least to me. Is there any history behind it?” -@Cheesyteretr1al
Hello Cheesy! My Dad says that he named me after the color of my hair!
To David: “Could someone pick up that phone, because I ****ing called it!” -HeraldOfOpera
Mr. OfOpera, I ask that you please cease your pushing of Cameron on this topic of discussion. I have already had a heart-to-heart with him, and he has a legitimate reason for his poor performance last Saturday. It is a sore subject for him, and I shall not have members of my audience causing unneeded stress for the contestants that are under my care.