“Now, for the tricks, your choices are:
*Assistant’s Revenge
*Dagger Head Box
*Drill of Death
*Guillotine
*Missmade
*Origami
*Radium Girl
*Sawing a Woman in Half
*Squeeze Box
*Wringer
*Zig Zag Girl
“Leela, as the winner of David’s introductory challenge, you will get to pick the order of selection,” Drake said.
Leela decided that she was going to go first, “Well, it just so happens that one of my favorite tricks is up there, so I’m going to go for Origami.”
Holli was next, “Well, I actually can’t do a majority of the tricks that are up there… so I guess I’m going to have to go for the Dagger Head Box.”
Jill went after her, “As much as I would love to do the Wringer, I feel like the fact that a trick called the Squeeze Box is up there is a sign, since the accordion is a squeeze box.”
Ophelia simply said, “The Drill of Death.”
Saffron was the penultimate choice, “The only one up there that I’ve never heard before is the Radium Girl, so of course I’m going to have to choose that one!”
And finally, Cameron got the last pick, “Uh… Nothing is really jumping out for me… But I really need to go big or go home, so I guess the Missmade?”
“Great! Now that that is out of the way, I’d just like to remind you all that the performance will be this Saturday. Leela, as a further reward, you will get preferential treatment for practices with David, although you will be limited to having just as much practice time with him as everyone else is entitled to. We will have an additional mini-challenge this Wednesday for an additional prize.”
~~~
Leela’s Practice
“Hello Leela, are you all done stretching?” David asked, entering the practice room.
“Yep,” Leela said, her rear currently sitting upon her head, “I just need a second,” Her body unfurled, allowing her to stand up. Instead of her regular red Sari, she was wearing a red tank top and black shorts.
“So, do you want your comments?” David asked, pulling out two pieces of paper with his and Amanda’s handwriting on them.
“Sure.”
“Alright… In terms of execution, both Amanda and I thought you had top marks. We felt that your showmanship was similarly fantastic, although Amanda wrote here that your act was a bit too long to be a bit that could actually be used in a show.”
“Fair enough,” Leela nodded.
“Otherwise, it really was a great first show, have you had any formal training before?”
“Not in show setting,” Leela said, “but I have had a variety of magic coaches.”
“Really? So did you get into magic for the more practical stuff?”
“Well, not originally. I got into magic for the same reason that other people get into playing a musical instrument when they’re younger.”
“Because you enjoy doing it?”
“No, it’s because I want to be the best.”
“… Sorry to burst your bubble Leela, but I think that magic is a bit too large of a field for someone to just be universally considered the best at something.”
“That might be the case, or it might just be because nobody has ever tried before.”
“Well, far be it from me to cast doubts on your dreams,” David said, clapping his hands together, “so, do you have any ideas how you want to put your own spin on Origami?”
“I have some ideas, but let’s just run through the trick normally a few times so I can get your timing,” Leela said.
“Sounds like a good plan, do you want me to slow it down at all?” David said, making his way over to where he kept the box he normally uses for his origami trick.
“No, I think I’ll be able to manage,” Leela said confidently.
~~~
Holli’s practice
“And then, we reappear your head,” David said, pulling the blade out of the head box. He flipped open the front door of the head box, revealing Holli’s smiling face, before pulling the entire box off her head.
“And that’s it?” Holli asked.
“Yep. Generally there’s a little bit more bravado to it, but this isn’t exactly a large show stopper illusion. I’d probably put this near the midpoint of the show.”
“But everyone else has picked show stoppers?”
“Not necessarily all of them, but besides the Drill of Death your’s is the only non full body illusion.
“Shibal!” Holli said, looking at the dagger head box, “Gah. What am I going to do?”
“Don’t worry Holli, I’m sure you’ll be able to think of something to add to it to add your own flair in a week.”
“Gah! Putting a spin on things was much more Arny’s forte than mine. I was much better at being the looks of the operation than being the brains.
“Don’t say that Holli,” David said, giving her a stern look.
“But it’s true! I might have been lucky enough to talk him out of his ridiculous contract, but I was still nothing but a piece of ass for Arnold to manipulate on stage!”
“Holli,” David said, grabbing her by the shoulders, “You did perfectly fine for your first solo act! Your execution and timing were phenomenal!”
“You’re just saying that.”
“No Holli, I have the comment sheets to prove it.”
“*Sniff* I really need this job David,” Holli whispered into his chest, barely being picked up by her microphone, “I’ve been barely employed for the last five years, and Lawrence is so close to retirement *sniff*”
“There there Holli.” David said holding her closely. “I’m sure everything will work out.”
~~~
Jill & Cameron
“No!” Cameron said, turning off the stereo sitting on the floor next to him. He was wearing a black T-shirt and shorts. “You need to put a bit more passion and strut into your step,” Cameron said. “Like this.” He emulated the strut that he was thinking of, his butt swinging almost comically wide with each step.
“I just don’t see why. It seems way too slutty to me,” Jill said, she was wearing a green tank top and black short shorts.
“It doesn’t have to be slutty! It’s just to add a bit of sex appeal to the act. You’re the assistant! You’re supposed to be the distraction, and you’re not going to draw any eyes if you just walk on stage like it’s no big deal. You’re what everyone has been waiting for. They might be there to see the magician actually do the magic, but the one they’re really keeping their eyes on is supposed to be you.”
“… I guess I can try to add a bit more strut,” Jill said.
“Great. From the top then,” Cameron said, going back to the stereo and pressing the play button once more. “And now… Introducing my lovely assistant, Jill McMillan!” Cameron said in his best announcer’s voice.
Jill walked out from her starting spot, swinging her hips as she did her best to stay balanced on her high heels. She walked to the cue that Cameron marked on the ground, doing her best to strike a pose and flip her hair.
“Alright, I think that’s going to be as good as we’re going to get for today. I’m sure David will be able to give you much more concrete criticisms than mine.”
“Thank you so much for helping me Cameron. I really appreciate it,” Jill went over to her water bottle, taking a sip from the green container.
“No problem Jill. I’m hoping that at least one of us makes it far.”
“Don’t say that Cameron! I’m sure you’ll do fine. Have you thought of any interesting ideas on what you’re going to do for your trick?”
“Not a clue,” Cameron shrugged, “It wasn’t my first choice, but I feel like there’s probably more ways to make the trick entertaining than the trick I wanted to do. What about you?”
“Well, I’m kicking myself a little bit, because I think my first performance would have been a perfect idea for a spin on the trick. So now I need to think of something original that won’t get compared to that.”
“If it makes you feel any better, if there’s anyone in this contest that can do it, I’m certain it’s you.”
“Stop flirting with me Cameron! You’re going to marry Alex, remember?”
“It’s not flirting, it’s just the way I am,” Cameron shrugged, “and I really do mean it.”
“No, because you know who else could do it? Leela.”
“Leela’s an expert, but there’s something to be said for the amateur’s perspective,” Cameron waxed.
“Very poetic Shakespeare. Now, do you wanna grab lunch or will you be eating alone?”
“I could eat.”
~~~
Ophelia & Saffron
Ophelia was only in the kitchen because she needed an apple for her brew, but as soon as Cameron and Jill entered, attempting to talk to her, she made her way to the door as quickly as possible to teleport her back to her room.
The only problem was, she was going a bit too fast, and so when Saffron opened the door to the kitchen just as she was about to slow down to reach for the doorknob, her momentum carried her forward, sending her and Saffron tumbling back into Saffron’s plush playground. The door closed behind them as they landed on Fernando’s giant stomach. “Oh! Hi Ophelia!” Saffron said, chipper as always, “If you wanted to come over, you could have just knocked."
“I didn’t mean to come over,” Ophelia said aggressively, getting off of Saffron and Fernando and readjusted her dress. “It was just an accident…” She looked around the room, the variety of animated stuff animals playing together, pantomiming talking to one another, int the center of the small bedroom’s floorspace several of them were sitting in a circle on a plaid blanket. “What is going on here?”
“Well, I was just about to get some sandwiches for our picnic, before you fell into me and landed on Fernando over here,” She patted the giant bear’s stomach, as the bear lifted up its paw and waved.
“Where did you learn animation magick?” Ophelia asked
“Oh this? My oldest sister taught me. I have severe loneliness whenever I’m far from home, and she used to suffer from it too, and she told me this was how she would get around it.”
“I’ve was always told that animation magick is among one of the most complex branches to master though. How could someone like yourself-” Ophelia petered out as she began raking her own mind, wondering how Saffron could know the spells to achieve this.
“Well, they always say that necessity is the mother of invention!” Saffron said, while Ophelia had trapped herself in her own mind, she had dashed back to the kitchen and grabbed a platter of club sandwich wedges for her and the stuff animals. She placed it in the center of the stuffed animals, before sitting down crossed leg in an empty spot of the circle. Each of the little stuffed animals similarly reached forward and grabbing a sandwich wedge, although none of them actually were able to take bites of the sandwich. “If you’d like, I could teach you.”
“*Pssh* You. Teach me… Actually, would you be willing to?”
“Of course! Well… For a price,” Saffron said, giving her a sly look.
“A price! Do you not realize I could hex you and make the rest of your life a living misery?”
“Probably, but then you still wouldn’t know how to do this!” Saffron said gesturing around the room to the thriving fluffiness.
Ophelia looked at her with a fury that she had not felt towards any other person in the contest thus far, before swallowing her fury (and her pride) and asked, “Okay. What’s your price?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
& Question Corner &
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Cameron: “Since it’s relevant now, besides your card tricks, what tricks do you enjoy performing, or having performed on you?” -FlexibleAnatomy
Well, as I was telling Jill yesterday, most of the magic I’ve ever done has been solo prior to teaming up with Alex, so before that I really didn’t get the chance to test out a lot of stuff and grow a preference for any specific tricks. When I was really young and my friends were still into magic, we would play magic pranks on each other like stealing each other’s limbs, or try to embarrass each other by ventriloquizing fart noises.
When we all grew up and I became the only one of my friends who still practiced magic, I slowly realized I didn’t actually like doing magic on other people. Since I didn’t have a dedicated assistant, when I entered the pro circles, I relied upon taking assistants from the audience. I would normally hang around for some drinks afterwards, and I found that a lot of the people I did tricks on would be the butt of their friend groups for the night, or just straight up leave the club after the trick was over. I didn’t really think that what I was doing was all that embarrassing, usually a classic like sawing them in half or something simple, but I slowly started weening two people tricks out of my act. Doing solo magic kind of limits you to a small variety of tricks though, which is why I primarily rely upon card tricks, because small prop tricks always seemed tacky to me.
Anyway, as for having tricks done to me… Alex and I have tried a lot of stuff, but I can’t really say that there was anything that I absolutely loved. I really liked doing some ridiculous quick changes… um… Ooh, assistant’s revenge too. We generally try to keep each other whole in our tricks, so it’s mostly transformation or location related stuff.
To Saffron: “I assume that you do a lot of detachment magic. If that’s the case, were there any moments where you lost a body part or got into an accident from cutting yourself up?” -quad2
Yep! Detachment magic is huge in my family. With such a large family like mine, it would be stupid to not put some sort of charm on all of your body parts so that you know where they are at all times. Of course, that doesn’t mean that all the parts on my body are my own. For instance, my feet are actually a friend of mine’s because they have the women tour guides at the Smithsonian wear high heels, and they just didn’t feel comfortable on my own feet. My boobs are actually my coworker's, because she knew I was going on this show and thought that my own were too little for the proper look of an assistant.
I’ve also definitely had a few accidents in terms of my love of detachment. You’ve probably heard about it a lot on the news recently where people who cut themselves in the same place over and over again, the parts become a lot harder to stay attached. Yeah, all of my limbs are a good tug away at any point from coming straight off. Also, one time when I was really young a friend of mine (ironically enough, the same one who traded feet with me!) dared me to go a month without my arms, and when I tried to attach them after the month was up, they didn’t want to stick on anymore! It took almost two weeks of magical therapy for them to finally recognize they were my own arms again and stay put.
To Cameron: “I recognize everyone who's cared enough to send in questions, and I can tell you right now that card tricks aren't going to get you anywhere unless you mix them in with other types of trick (such as using them in place of a more conventional cutting implement). You better step up your game unless you want to get knocked out second (the producers will probably veto knocking you out first due to the optics of doing that to the odd one out). I know this isn't a question, but Jill is right: from what we've seen, you don't stand a chance.” -HeraldOfOpera
Cameron: Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Producer’s note: Based on our contract, we’ve only been allowed to film within David’s home for five and a half weeks, and as such we have scheduled the contest to make the most of it. We are not going to pull a veto on any elimination votes, and will honor any decisions that the audience makes.
To Cameron: “To Cameron: Here's the flip-side. Upon closer inspection, the current challenge favors experience on the scene while punishing originality. It also provides a display of old standbys for you to think "where can I incorporate cards into this?" (Again, you can be "the card guy" if you're willing to go well outside what we'd normally call "card tricks"). All in all, you couldn't have asked for a better way to throw you a bone, because they couldn't have come up with one if they'd done it on purpose.” -HeraldOfOpera
Cameron: Cool, cool. I’m truly am impressed with the amount and variety of ways that you have told me that you don’t like me or my act. I understand, man. I’ve got the message. No point in repeating yourself over and over again. If you’ll excuse me I’m just going to go practice on my mediocrity right now, although I’m sure it will have no effect.
To David: “Remember, anything involving female anatomy is off the table for however long Cameron lasts. Not that you'd try to get those past the network…” -HeraldOfOpera
David: I don’t know what you’re implying, sir, but I run a strictly PG-13 show, in both senses of the word.
To Cameron: “It took me entirely too long to realize that Alex was female. Come to think of it, both of you technically have unisex names. Has that caused any misunderstandings before?” -HeraldOfOpera
Producer’s note: Cameron has refused to answer this question on the grounds that he has been offended by this viewer's previous comments.
To Saffron: “Are you capable of making a body part sentient? You could cuddle up with your lower half when you’re lonely!” -Cheesyterestr1al
I’ve thought about doing that before, but then I would feel really bad when it was time to join back together. It’s essentially the equivalent of brining a life into this world, and then killing it!
If I made it a copy of my own consciousness, then what would I have to talk about with her? I would already know everything that she does! Besides, my fluffy friends are more than enough to keep my homesickness at bay *Snuggles with Fernando*.