Jim couldn’t take it anymore. As admirable as Michael’s attempt to transfer classic Christmas tales into new NBM takes, it simply wasn’t good enough to actually be put to the big screen.

Hitting pause on the remote, he got back to reading his emails, when suddenly he got an email from his superior. It read:

‘Hey Jim,

So, as you know, we simply got too many ticket sales during 2017, so we’re going to need to waste some of this extra income so we can write it off for taxes.

You know what to do.

-Greg, Executive Producer’

Jim sighed. Opening up the file listed, ‘Contingency Horror Movies’ he began scrolling through the list of various pilots, until he found one that looked just good enough to pass off as not an obvious cash grab.

~~~

‘Snowmageddon’ - A short pitch by Jerry Pollux

“Oh my God! Mom! Look! It’s snowing!” Olivia said. It had been about a week since she had returned home from college with her elder sister, Karen. While they had both caught glimpses of snow at their colleges, they were not expecting a white Christmas when both returned to their home in Florida.

“What?!” Their mother said, looking up from the TV, “But that’s impossible, it has to be almost 70 degrees outside!”

“It must be a Christmas Miracle then!” Olivia said, rushing to their closet and putting on a heavy jacket, Karen close behind her.

The two rushed out the door, and immediately knew something was up, as despite the fact it was snowing, it was still warm. So warm in fact, that both sisters took off their winter coats, discarding them near their front door. The snow was beginning to accumulate on the large open lawn of their estate. While the family was not rich, their parents had been lucky enough to get a large plot of open land, which was always great when they wanted a quiet holiday.

Of course, currently the little plot of land was anything but quiet. In the few minutes it had started snowing, a surprisingly large percentage had started sticking to the ground, leading to a pretty even coat already covering the ground where they had yet to walk over.

Back inside, the two girl’s mother was still busy watching the TV, flipping to a news channel, curious if they were covering this strange occurrence.

The news caster was a plucky young asian woman, and she seemed to have just started her report, “That’s right Steve, it’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. Despite the fact it’s still warm, and feels as though it’s actually heating up, there’s still snow falling everywhere. Families and neighbors alike have came outside to enjoy. Our recommendation? If you’re traveling, it would probably be best to get off the roads and to a safe location as quickly as possible, then come out and enjoy what may be a once in a life time chance!” Their mom calmed down, still slightly anxious about the random appearance of snow.

Outside, enough snow had gathered on the ground that the two girls had began to build a snowman, Karen handling the body, while Olivia was rolling up a slightly smaller ball. “Hey Karen. Is it just me? Or is it getting hotter?” Olivia said, wiping a beat of sweat off her forehead.
“Yeah. I think it is,” Karen said, “Do you want to go back inside and get some warmer clothes?”
“Well, you know how mad Mom gets when we drag a bunch of snow inside…”
“Okay, and let me guess, you’ll be embarrassed, despite the fact that I am your sister and there’s literally nobody around for miles, if you were the only one to strip down?”
“Uh huh,” Olivia said.
Karen sighed, relenting, “Fine, but I’m keeping my bra and panties on.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to take those off,” Olivia chuckled, stripping down to her underwear as well, enjoying the surreal feeling of the snow against her skin while still feeling warm.

The two continued rolling their snowballs, until they had a truly massive 2-ball snowman. Despite the fact the snow was still falling, the amazing thing was that the snow was extremely light, allowing them to make snowballs much larger than either had rolled before. They dug underneath the snow, pulling out some rocks and two large sticks to make the face and arms. They considered using their discarded clothes as actual clothes for the snowman, but realized they would most likely stretch out and be ruined if they wanted to actually get them on the snowman.

The two stepped back to admire their handiwork, until Olivia had to ruin the event by stepping back, rolling up a snowball, and chucking it at Karen, hitting her square in the head. Karen, immediately turned around, and after giving Olivia a death glare, began frantically to scoop up snow and fling it at her sister. Snowballs flew back and forth between the two, some landing (most missing). Eventually, both girls began to tire out, but Olivia felt just enough strength left in her to form one last compact ball of snow, before tossing it.

As the ball flew through the air, Olivia stared down in horror at her arm in horror. The ball hit Karen straight in the stomach, the snow breaking apart, and what was encompassing the snowball fell to the ground. The two girls shrieked in horror, Olivia at the fact that her hand was now missing from her wrist, and Karen at the offending hand that now was in the snow in front of her.

Back inside, their mother had got up to check on the progress of the ham she was cooking (it was still going to need a half hour), and was now back in front of the TV. Her attention was briefly pulled away from the TV from her daughters screaming, but was pulled back once again as the Christmas program she was watching was interrupted by a special news cast. The camera showed the main newscaster, who was looking ill, saying, “This is an emergency broadcast. Whatever you do, do not go outside! Lock your doors and windows! Under no circumstance must you let anyone who’s already outside back into your house!” Their mother, fearful of this announcement, quickly went and locked the front door, and closing the blinds on the first floor.

“Oh my god! Olivia! Are you okay?” Karen asked, looking fearfully at the hand, which laid unmoving in the snow. Suddenly, the hand began to twitch, showing it was still alive at least.
“Yeah, I’m fine…” Olivia said, walking over and picking up her hand, she tried to stick it back on her wrist, and was grateful when it did. “I just, feel a little weird all of a sudden.” Olivia was receiving a strange mix of senses, as though she could feel from the snow that surrounded her.
Karen was thankful that Olivia seemed okay, but that feeling was short lived, as Olivia reached up, grabbed her arm, and pulled down. Olivia stared in shock as Karen proceeded to attach the arm below her own, the feeling of her arm disappearing as it seemed that Olivia gained control.
“Olivia! What the fuck is going on! Tell me!” Karen screamed.
“I think… We’ve become snow, or something.” Olivia said, as she crouched down and began to pack some snow together into a rudimentary tube. Once it was a satisfactory length, she proceeded to take the tube and try and stick it to her chest beneath her other arm. As the snow made contact with her skin, it began to shift into her skin tone, become a replica of her own arm.
“Oh wow!” Karen said, but Olivia wasn’t listening, as she disconnected Karen’s arm she stole and gave it back to her.
“Yeah!” Olivia said, “This gives me so many ideas!”
“Well… what should we do with this power?”
“I don’t know…” Olivia said, making another arm, bringing her total back up to four, “but I have the strange urge to… ‘spread’ this power?”
“Yeah… I guess that’s the word I would use to. Like, it’s something in the back of my mind telling me I need to get more people to join us,” Karen said.
“Well, I’ll go get Mom, you can just wait out here,” Olivia said, making her way to their door. She was slightly shocked to find that, not only was the door locked, but the shutters were all closed.

The girls’ mother was completely enwrapped in the special news report that was going on. “We happen to have the head of the Department of Science on the phone here now to explain what’s going on,” the anchor said, a picture of the man’s head being displayed next to a phone.
“So, what we believe is happening here is an act of bioterrorism, but since we have yet to receive any demands, we cannot be sure. Currently, the outbreak has only affected the Florida region, but  we fear that this may either be a test run, or will spread enough on its own that it could completely wipe out the human race as we know it. This strange compound that looks like snow is in fact a very contagious form of a combination of cancer and water. Any human cells it has came into contact with slowly, but surely transform into a similar cell, that will affect others in a similar manner. Of course, this cell has a much lower boiling point than normal water, but it should be made clear that, if brought to a high enough temperature, these cells will become liquid and inert. Please stay away from any sources of water and once again don-“
The feed cut out, as it suddenly switched back to the asian reporter. She had stripped down to her underwear, but it wasn’t doing much good, as it appeared that she had gained a large amount of muscles in the short time since she had been on screen. “Hello everyone, it’s me, Linda, once again. I’m standing outside the offices of Local Channel 31, where a crowd has formed attempting to get into the building. I would like to personally retract the statements made by our station. Once again, the snow is perfectly safe, and we would recommend, nay demand, that anyone who is still indoors, come outside and join us-“ The mother could not take it anymore, turning the TV off right as the people bashing against the studio’s door broke in.

Olivia walked back around the house, and was not shocked to find that Karen was already playing with herself. She had separated her legs and had rolled them up into large balls, which she had placed against her chest, giving her an additional 2 rows of breasts. She was mashing and blending them when Olivia finally got her attention. “Hey, Mom locked us out.”
“But why! If she could see what the benefits, she would join in a heartbeat!”
“I know! And I think I have the perfect idea…” Olivia grinned.

Back inside, the mom had done a quick stock of what she still had, since it seemed she was going to have to stay cooped in until this storm passed. She had enough to last probably at least a week or two, if she really stretched, but was brought out of her reverie from the sound of something loud crashing in the living room. Rushing back, she saw that the fire in the fire place had been put out by a large pile of snow, which she stayed back from as it began to melt. However, she was shocked as something else fell through the chimney. It was the head of her younger daughter! “Hey Mom! Come outside please? We miss you!” The mother screamed, running to the wall thermostat and boosting the temperature of the heater to the highest it could go. As she did, Olivia’s head was rising from the little pile of snow that had remained from the melting snow, a copy of her hand now attached directly to her head. As she approached her mom, she pleaded, “Please Mom! Don’t put the temperature up!” Her body was losing stability, unevenly melting. One of her eyes slid, splatting to the floor. She was only 5 feet away when her hair fell off. “Mom! Just touch me! I don’t want to melt! Mommy!” She shouted, but it was not good, right as she was about to touch her mom, the last of her melted away.

Back outside, the back-up head that Olivia had made said, “Yep, the head melted.”
“Damn it!” Karen said.
“Not to worry, the others will be here soon…” Olivia said.

As people could be seen beginning to approach the house in the distance, Olivia smiled directly at the audience, before the scene cut straight to black.