Part 1: Limbo

As the last member of the audience entered the theater, Michael closed the double doors behind them. After everyone was settled, a woman in what looks like a goth costume walked onstage. She was wearing a black short sleeve circle dress, a pair of black leather gloves, black fishnet stockings, and black knee-high platform boots. She stopped downstage, in the middle, and spoke.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we formally welcome you to our Halloween-inspired winter show. My name is Haley, your host, and I’m here to first explain how things will go down.” Despite the dark ensemble, Haley gave off a cheery demeanor.

“The theme of our show is hell, more specifically, the hell structured in Dante’s Inferno, but all the punishments have been reinterpreted in our own very special ways,” she continued.

“Tonight, we will be showing you our take on the punishment handed out to sinners in the Nine Circles of Hell. Of course, being the creative and insane bunch that we are, all the contraptions that didn’t make it into the show are displayed in the halls beside the theater all the way to the rear lobby,” she pointed to the exits.

“Since Christmas time is about giving, we have decided that before the punishment for each circle is demonstrated, a random member of the audience will win a chance to put one of our lovely assistants into a death machine of his or her own choosing!” she explained. The audience applauded.

A stagehand escorted onstage a woman with a hood on her head. She was wearing a blue bra, blue panties, and modest blue heels. Her wrists were cuffed together behind her, and the cuffs on her ankles were connected by a short chain, letting her walk. She had a metal collar, a chain in the front acting as a leash. The stagehand positioned the woman beside Haley and handed over the chain to her. “By the way, all of our ladies who will appear tonight are all wearing the same clothing as her,” Haley remarked.

Another stagehand came in and placed a small table beside Haley. On the table was a clear bowl full of pieces of paper. “All right, I sure hope you people still have your tickets on you, because…” Haley reached in the bowl. The audience members quickly searched for their tickets. “…ticket number 889, please claim your prize!” The spotlight quickly found the ticket owner, scrambling down the wide center aisle.

With a stagehand guiding the winner onstage, he shook Haley’s hand.

“What’s your name, sir?”

“Todd,” the man replied.

“All righty, Todd, you have just won…” Haley took off the woman’s hood to reveal a medium, straight hair brunette. Her mouth was covered by a bandana. “…Deedee! Please kill her however you like,” she said nonchalantly. Deedee shot Haley a look before she put the hood over her again. She could do little to protest with Todd yanking on her collar as a stagehand rushed them offstage.

“With that out of the way, we can now enter Hell,” Haley said as the curtains closed behind her. She begins to narrate, “According to the Inferno, at the boundary of Hell lies the river Acheron. The passage across the river is undescribed, but the contents of Hell are.”

“Hell is structured in nine concentric circles, the sins increasing in wickedness as we go deeper. The first and outermost circle of Hell is Limbo. Here, the virtuous and unbaptized dwell in a lesser version of Paradise, for they did not believe in God. Their punishment is denial of eternal life, but our interpretation is way better,” Haley said as the curtains opened once again.

A single spotlight shone, and onstage was a pink-haired woman. She was standing, her ankles locked in what looked like metal tubes, bolted to the stage by very short poles. It kept her legs from moving, but if she should lean to far forward or backward, she could lose balance. Her wrists were cuffed, tied with rope in front of her chest. All her garments were black instead of her blue, but like Deedee earlier, her nose and mouth were covered by a bandana. Apparently, it covered a gag, because she could only muffle.

“Yes, ladies and gentlemen,” she continued. “tonight, we will do the ‘Limbo’ name justice.”

The rest of the lights came on, revealing the woman’s full predicament. She appeared to be in the middle of a hallway, the front wall serving as an invisible fourth wall. The back wall seemed to be lined with horizontal slits across it. She was sideways against the audience but oriented along the hallway. Adjusting to the influx of light, she squinted her eyes.

“Welcome, Suzy, to the first circle of our Hell, Limbo!” Haley exclaimed. “Your punishment is to do limbo for all eternity!”

At the end of the hall, in front of Suzy, a red line laser lit up. Haley approached it, nonchalantly produced a cabbage from thin air, and threw it onto the laser. The laser burned through the cabbage, splitting it in two upon contact.

“MMMMMM!” Suzy yelled a muffled protest, trying to shake off her bonds.

“All right, let the limbo begin!”

The sound of a machine whirring to life was heard. The line laser began accelerating down the hall toward the trapped Suzy. Apparently, the laser was at eye level, so she composed herself enough and ducked under it rather easily.

Having done its job, the laser slowed to a stop at the other end of the hall.

“Don’t worry, ladies and gents, if a laser misses its mark, another one tries lower,” Haley explained.

A second laser appeared in front of her. This one was now at neck level.

“MMM MM-MMM!” Suzy could not believe the situation she’s in.

The second laser came in, but just like the first one, she ducked under it easily. It settled under where the first one stopped.

“Hmm, we have a real fighter here, folks, so why don’t we ramp up the difficulty?” Haley said as a laser at waist level lit up. Upon seeing this, Suzy gulped.

The third laser accelerated towards her. Suzy held fast as she barely ducked quick enough. The third laser stopped under the first two.

“Not bad, girl. Not bad,” Haley complimented her captive. “LOWER THE LASER!”

A fourth laser lit up at hip level. Unbelievably, Suzy steeled herself, a look of concentration shining through her eyes. The laser began to move.

With all her might, Suzy leaned back as far as she could go. Time appeared to slow down as the laser passed over her body. It shone her stomach, and it barely missed her bra. Her eyes tracked every inch of the movement of the laser as it passed over her face. The parts of her hair unfortunate enough to be above her face got cut off.

Suzy set herself upright once more, panting, sweating, and now with short hair. She could smell the singed ends of her hair. She wanted to relax, but this was hell. There could be no relaxing.

“Damn you, woman!” Haley mockingly shouted. “Ugh, I wanted to have some fun, but clearly, you’re too good. That’s why we’re gonna use our kill shot now!”

The final laser appeared. Suzy’s eyes widened, and she began to panic. Knee level. With her restraints, there would be no ducking under this one.

“Hehehe, not such hot shit now, huh, Suzy?” Haley’s voice adopted an evil tone.

Suzy started to try squirming her arms out of its ropes, but they wouldn’t budge. The last laser began to move. She then desperately tried to kick her legs free. Alas, the metal did not yield.

“Yes, this is what you should have been doing this whole time! Struggle! Squirm! Writhe in tortuous agony for eternity!” Haley’s words began to scare some of the audience.

Eventually, Suzy gave up and closed her eyes, bracing herself for the laser’s contact. The laser shot past. Silence fell on the room.

“Eh?”

Suzy opened one of her eyes. She inspected her knees and found them unscathed. Even Haley was confused. She looked at the five lasers arranged vertically at the other end of the hall, yet Suzy was unharmed.

Haley spoke to the offstage men. “Did uh… did the laser malfunction or something? Guys, can you check?”

“Everything looks okay here, ma’am,” a stagehand said softly. He handed over something to Haley.

Haley turned to the audience. “Well, folks, uh, looks like we have to move on with the show. Unfortunately, we’re out of lasers, so Suzy here gets off scot-free,” she explained disappointedly. Suzy, on the other hand, was ecstatic.

“Okay, we’ll turn off the lasers and bring in the thing for the next circle. And…” Haley pressed the red button on the remote handed to her earlier. Suddenly, and silently, the five lasers began acting weird. What was once a column of five horizontal lasers formed into a red screen of light. They began to accelerate toward Suzy.

Having heard the sound of lasers moving, Suzy’s celebration was cut short as she turned around. A great flash of white light momentarily blinded everyone. As everyone’s vision returned, everyone found the lasers all settled back where they started, returning once more into five lines. A sound from the middle of the hallway diverted everyone’s attention back to Suzy.

Suzy’s ankle restraints had opened, releasing her legs. Her right leg fell to the floor, while her left leg stayed upright. Everything above mid-kneecap had been instantly erased.

Haley went over to Suzy’s dismembered legs and inspected the damage. The open ends seemed to have been cauterized at the moment of contact. She picked up the fallen right leg and stroked up the calf with her free hand. Leg in hand, she walked downstage toward the audience. She took off the heeled black shoe and stroked the foot’s sole. No response from the leg.

“Not such hot shit now, huh?” Haley replaced the shoe and threw the leg back where its pair stood, knocking the other leg over.

“Hehe, got you good, huh, folks?” Haley asked the audience. They were speechless, still reeling from what happened to Suzy.

“Jeez, tough crowd,” she said to herself. The curtains behind her began to close again. “Anyway, moving on, I don’t want to bore everyone with more excerpts from Dante’s epic, so we’ll just get right into the second circle.”