Magic shorts: How to lose an audience

Monty and his assistant Arlene had been on the small stage for nearly fifteen minutes which they had filled with Monty's card manipulation routine, some quick change and a sword box. The party goers seemed to want bigger illusions and audience participation.

Monty called forward the hostess and birthday-girl, Valerie, and sent Arlene to get the 'tube'.

He asked Valerie how she felt about magic.

"I like magic in general, or I wouldn't have looked for a magician to entertain on my birthday, but I don't have any yearning to become a magician's assistant. If you need someone to be in line for sawing in half or sticking swords through, you're better off looking at someone else."

"Ok, noted. How about floating?" he asked.

"I think that'd be alright as long as I wasn't floating too high, because heights make me dizzy."

Arlene arrived with a square tube, which on inspection was a cuboid frame of light wood and covered in stretchy fabric and open at the top and bottom.

"Arlene and me are going to use this to make you float. So first we need to lower it over your head so that you're standing in it, then we'll get you floating in stages. Just stand still and follow instructions and we'll do the rest."

Between them Arlene and Monty raised the tube and lowered it until the lower edge rested on the stage with Valerie standing in the middle.

"First thing, now that you are in the tube, is that we need you to rest your hands gently on the top edge; one in the middle on my side and the other in the middle on Arlene's side. The important thing is that they must be rested there; we don't want you to grip the frame or lose contact with the frame."

Valerie moved her hands to the positions that the magician had suggested and asserted that she understood that he wanted to keep her hands in light contact with the top of the tube.

"Time to practice a few things, before we get to the magic itself. And your friends will get to see how we start before you are floated."

Magician and assistant raised the tube until it was a little below knee high on Valerie. Her feet in her low heels and her stockinged legs were in view but not her knees or the hem of her skirt. Monty made approving noises about how she maintained her hands resting on the top edge of the tube without causing it to bear weight. The performers lowered the tube to rest on the floor.

"That was good as a practice, but not particularly amazing. This time you need to lift a leg and we will float that half of your body."

The tube was raised to the same height as before, but there was only one leg to be seen; Valerie's left leg. The crowded reaction to this was mixed; some cheered and laughed, while other's jeered. The tube was placed back on the floor.

"This time lift your other leg," suggested the magician.

As the tube was lifted this time Valerie's right leg became visible. The onlooker reacted similarly, but the bias was towards the jeerers.

As the tube touched down once more, the magician said, "Please, Valerie, have some faith and lift both legs and we'll make sure that you are floating. And remember that you are only supposed to rest your hands on top of the tube."

The performers broadened their stances and lifted the tube. This time there was nothing below the tube. Arlene holding her side of the tube one-handed leant down and passed her arm under the tube in the space that most of the audience felt ought to contain at least one of Valerie's legs. Valerie's top parts from her chest up were visible above the tube, she seemed entirely puzzled by what seemed to be happening.

The duo lowered the tube and shared the applause with Valerie. Arlene glanced into the tube where Valerie stood concealed from her waist down.

Arlene whispered to Monty, loud enough to be heard by him as they bowed deeply, "It's happened again!"

As they straightened Monty cast a glance into the tube and his face showed his surprise and shock. Valerie picked up on this and asked, "What's happened?"

Arlene answered for them, "Look down and see."

Valerie looked down into the tube and realised that all her clothes below her waist were no longer there. "What have you done?" she asked in an accusing tone to the magician.

"It's alright, no one can see and we know a method of getting your clothes back that works ninety-nine percent of the time."

"Well, get on with it!" the hostess commanded.

"Would you like to see that again?" the magician asked the audience.

"We've seen it already and it was ok, but not great," shouted somebody from the midst of the crowd. "Why do we need to see it again?"

"Because this time Valerie hasn't got her shoes on." Monty and Arlene lifted the tube to reveal Valerie's naked legs up to her knees and her bare feet.

The gathering cheered the sudden change in the state of Valerie's legs from clothed and shoed to naked and barefoot. A few wondered how far up this went or how this might have been achieved and all the hands of all the participants on stage had been in view the whole time.

The performers settled the tube on the floor and made ready to lift it again, giving Valerie the instruction lift a foot.

The tube rose once more to show Valerie was standing on one bare foot. Several of the audience were catcalling that they had seen this already.

The tube descended and re-ascended after Monty had told Valerie to lift the other foot.

As the tube lifted there were no feet on the floor. Monty lifted the tube higher in the hope of seeing what was going on under the tube. This raised the top of the tube to neck height on Valerie while still not showing anything under the tube. The performers began lowering the tube only to notice that Valerie's shoulders were now bare. Rather than risk revealing the host to be topless or possibly completely naked, the magician lifted the tube until it was above where Valerie had stood and then placed the tube on the floor behind him.

The birthday party cheered the disappearance, until Valerie's husband started a call for her return.

The performers were not in a position to be able to return Valerie to her loved ones, because the only magic they knew of to retrieve Valerie from wherever she had disappeared to required the light of a full moon; that had been last week.

Realising that the party had become hostile and there was no prospect of giving them what they wanted, they decided to leave. There was a big puff of smoke which billowed around Monty and as it cleared Monty was no longer there. Meanwhile Arlene took up a cloth that lay in a pile where it had be slung aside after covering the crystal casket, which was her usual introduction into the show. She hunkered under the cloth and disappeared from under it only seconds before the audience stampeded onto the stage to try to find Valerie.