Hen Night: Part 1

It was late and we were drunk, but that is expected when you return from a hen night. There were six of us, Kate (that's me), Cassie (the bride to be), Bridgette, Karen, Ally and Tanya. We had come back to my place to crash after spending an evening flirting and drinking to excess. We chose my place, because it is a short taxi ride from the nightclubs we had visited and my husband was away. It did not take long to get the glasses out and finish another bottle of wine.

The chatter was flowing as freely as the wine, when Tanya asked, "So, Katie, how come we have free run of your home? Where's your hubby?"

"He's away with his work." I replied. "He's usually away several weeks a month."

"What's he do?" asked Ally, who I had only met for the first time that night.

"He's a magician. He's normally touring cabaret clubs or sometimes gets a short run on one of the big cruise ships." This revelation fascinated everyone and they all started speaking at once. So I explained. "Yes, Bernard is really a magician. He makes his living entertaining people with magic and illusion. Yes, he does have some assistants. No, I'm not worried about him having an affair with one of them. Yes, he does the famous tricks of sawing a woman in half and the rest of it. I don't want to be his assistant. Why? Because I can't dance and I'm too shy to wear the skimpy costumes required in front of the public. Of course I know how they work, Bernard will try any new trick on me before teaching it to his assistants. No, of course it doesn't hurt, I wouldn't put up with it if it did; in fact, I quite enjoy some of the tricks, when we perform them in private. Yes, we have got some of his equipment about here, Bernie practices with me or his assistants in his studio out the back and he can't take everything with him. No you can't go and have a look at Bernie's stuff, coz I promised never to touch it while he was away." This was the cue for much wheedling on the part of my guests and I gave in.

----

We moved the party to Bernard's studio, which was a mess, as is usual when he is away.

"Sorry about the mess, but Bernie has a tendency to leaving everything where he dropped it. It is one of his faults. Usually all these props are stored in the store room over there, but he gets it all out to choose what he is going to take with him. Oh, and you did promise not to touch anything unless you knew what you were doing." I reminded them. If I had drunk less earlier that evening, I might have realised that that promise was bound to be broken.

The first five or ten minutes the girls confined themselves to open cabinet doors and looking inside things and asking what this or that was for. Then they went to explore the props separately.

A while later, Bridgette called to me in a panicky tone, "Can you come and help me get Cass out of this thing?"

I went over to Bridgette and began to ask what the problem was, when I noticed that the problem was Cassie with her head in the stocks of the guillotine.

Under normal circumstances, I would have pressed the hidden release button and let Cassie out, but in my drink effected state I thought that I was perfectly justified in punishing my friends for not keep their word about not interfering with stuff. "Oh!" I exclaimed, "You've started it now, we're going to have to finish it."

Cassie screamed, which brought the rest of the gang running from wherever they had been. "I was only trying it out to see if having your head through the stocks was comfortable."

"And are they?" I asked.

"No," protested Cassie. "They are digging in at the bottom of my throat and at the top of the back of my neck."

"That's because you're in the wrong position."

"I know I'm in the wrong position. Having your neck trapped in the stocks of a guillotine is definitely the wrong position."

"That's not what I meant. What I meant is that to do this one properly you aren't supposed to be kneeling on the floor. You are supposed to be standing up and bent at the waist so your body is horizontal; well that or strapped to the bench over there that I assume you moved away. That way your neck is cut straight making it so much easier to put your head back on afterwards."

"You're kidding me, right? Just let me out of here." Cassie seemed scared by the prospect of losing her head before she could get married in a few weeks.

"I wish I could," I said, trying to feign regret. The only one not fooled was Bridgette, who flashed me a smile to show she would play along and she trusted me to not turn the evening into a disaster, but she also was not going to give me an easy ride either.

"Why not?" challenged Bridgette. Who then leaned down to help Cassie get into the position I had specified, partly, I guessed, to make her more comfortable, but mainly so that when the moment came she would be ready for whatever the denouement of this charade was.

The other girls echoed Bridgette's question.

"Well," I began, "if it had been any of Bernard's other guillotines, I could easily release Cassie, but..."

Tanya interrupted, "How many guillotines do you need?"

"Bernard has four. The two he took with him and this one and the one over there. The first one he uses on an audience member. That one just drops a small blade through the participant's neck and then he releases them none the worse for the experience. That's good for at least five minutes, longer if he picks a good volunteer."

"I always thought that that was done by the blade falling into the top stock and being caught and triggering a duplicate blade to fall out of the bottom stock," commented Alley.

"I guess a lot of people think that, but that's not how Bernard does it. The blade actually passes through the spectator's neck and the magic keeps them from harm. He proved it to me by having me write something on the blade in the top position, put me through it (I definitely felt the blade pass through my neck) and then I could see the word on the blade below my neck, exactly as I had written it."

"And the other one? Why would he need to take two guillotines?" asked Tanya; she seemed more interested in the magic than Cassie's unresolved plight.

"The other is an assistant only type of guillotine. The blade is longer than the stocks are deep and there's a wooden block on top. When the blade falls on that one it looks like the assistant's head has fallen into the box, but actually the bottom of the stock releases and the assistant has to drop their own head; it takes quite a lot of practice."

"That one over there," I continued, "is similar, except the blade goes through but the head does not fall; the magic makes the intersection of blade and neck work somehow. Bernard considered taking that one, but having Kelly and Sandra with him, he can set the head drop guillotine to not release the bottom stock, so it has the same effect as that one.

"So, what's different about this one?" pleaded Cassie.

"Oh, this one does the job properly, the victim's head is really severed from their body. Bernie, usually only uses this one for Halloween. The assistant's head is chopped off and then picked out of the basket and put on a spike where it will insist the volunteer unfortunate enough to have come up and been persuaded to pull the lever (although some of them seem only too happy to do the dirty deed) is co-opted as a stand-in assistant until Bernie puts his assistant's head back; usually a trick or two later. "

"So you're telling me that you allowed me to put my head in a genuine guillotine with no way of releasing my head unless it is cut off." Cassie was blaming me for her predicament.

"No," I countered, "I'm telling you that you put your own head in a genuine, and very sharp, guillotine and the only way to get you out is to drop the blade; even after I warned you not to try any stuff if you didn't know what it was and how to use it properly." I refrained from adding, 'Your fault, not mine.'

"How long do I have to stay in here until your husband comes back? Surely he can release me."

"Bernard's not due back for another week. Anyway all he would do is drop the blade and then put your head back on your neck, after giving you a very long lecture about not interfering with stuff you don't understand. Which is what I plan to do now (but I might shorten the lecture). That'll save you the wait and me the whining about you being stuck where you should not have been in the first place."

Before she could say another word, I kicked the cushion-laden basket into place to receive her falling head and touched the concealed blade release. The handle on the other side is a dummy, designed to come off in the hand of the volunteer; doubling their guilt for the assistant's head landing in the basket.

Of course, nobody expected the blade to fall, so there was a chorus of screams all round then a thud as the block weighting the blade was stopped by the stock that held Cassie's neck, but no longer her head. That landed in the basket, scattering a few cushions over the edge with the force of the impact.

In the confusion, Cassie had stepped backward and raised her torso showing her neck-stump. Bridgette, still shocked that I had beheaded the bride, had enough presence of mind to take charge of making sure that the headless body did not get into any trouble.

Before much more could happen, the telephone repeater in the workshop rang. I knew instantly that Bernard had felt the magic happen and was calling to find out what was going on. I moved to go back to the main part of the house to answer it. The girls said that I should stay and put Cassie back together. I told them that she would be alright for the duration of a phone call and that I needed to answer this, because you don't get unimportant phone calls after midnight.

When I lifted the receiver, Bernard's voice said, "Kay-tie," splitting my name into two syllabus to imbue it with sufficient weight of disapproval. "What have you done?"

"I cut off the bride's head with the Halloween guillotine."

"And how did this happen?" He was trying to conceal a certain amusedness beneath a gruff tone.

"You know we were coming back here after Cassie's hen night and the subject of why I was a married woman home alone came up and things happened from there. They persuaded me to show them the workshop. I told them not to touch anything, just look, then Cassie put her head in the guillotine and could not get it out. So, I chopped it off to show that she should have been more careful and followed instructions. I suppose I could have just released the stock release, but where's the fun in that?"

With his amusement even less well hidden, he said, "And has the lesson been learnt?"

"I don't know, they were barely passed being shocked when you rang. I hope they don't do something stupid while I'm talking to you. By the way, how are your nieces enjoying their working holiday in Paris?"

"Kelly is doing great, she's a natural on the stage. She's taken to illusion and magic like a duck to water. If she wants to be my assistant full-time, I'd love to take her on, if Brother Chris does not disapprove too strongly. Sandra, on the other hand, is trying, but I can tell the only thing she is really getting out of this is some money to help her studies and some tales to amuse her friends. But that's beside the point, what are you going to do with your hens?"

"I don't know. I could just pop Cassie's head back on and herd them back into the house before more harm can be done. But you know how nice the magic feels after the shock has worn off, they might insist I do magic for all of them...." I left that thought hanging.

"Well, you're in luck. We haven't got a show tonight, so you can have a trick for each of your hens and one for yourself, if you want, but don't make it any more than that, because I promised the girls an excursion to the Eiffel Tower tomorrow, to make something of their day off and I don't want to be too tired for that. And remember to save the security camera footage, because it'll probably be amusing to watch when I get back."

I thanked him and told him I loved him. I went to the kitchen and picked up another couple of bottles of wine and enough glasses, before heading back to the workshop.
------
Despite the time I had taken talking with Bernard and getting more wine, no-one had plucked up the courage to pick up Cassie's head from its nest of cushions, although Bridgette had guided the body to a place where the head could see it. They were all, including Cassie, discussing whether I had gone mad pulling a stunt like that. They paid me no attention until I deliberately clinked the two bottles together.

Bridgette was the first to speak. "Was the phone call important?"

"Not really. Just Bernard checking up on me. I guess he forgot the time difference between here and Paris." Most of the girls seemed relieved to hear that the call had not been news of a bad thing happening. "I told him about having been stuck in a situation where I had to lop off Cassie's head. He seemed ok with that; he trusts me with the magic. He did suggest that as you lot are responsible for persuading me to let you into the workshop in the first place, I should punish you all."

Agreement came from a surprising quarter. Cassie said, "Yeah, why should I be the only one to suffer?"

"Well there you have it you naughty hens, the bride says that I'm going to punish you, so that's settled. And she's going to help me."

"Wait, I can't help you. I'm just a head," Cassie protested.

"No, you're going to help me punish Bridgette, who helped you get into the jam you're in, and then between us we'll give each of the rest a taste of what you're feeling. It might take a few minutes to get proper control of your legs, but then we can do something to Bridgette." Bridgette was the only one of those present that had ever assisted Bernard; she'd been shown the thin model sawing; the illusion version.

"Cassie close your eyes and I'll pass your head to your body. Just stand still and hold out your hands." I left little time for her to consider these instructions, because I have found the less you think about something magical the more natural it seems. Her eyes closed as I leant down to pick her head up. I took a hold around her head about her ears so she was facing me and lifted it. As I lifted and turned to place the head in the body's outstretched hands, she made a 'woo' sound as if she was on a rollercoaster. I kept my hold on her head until I felt her try to take it out of my grip; that way I was sure she had it and was not going to drop it. "Ok, you can open your eyes now, Cassie."

Cassie opened her eyes and the smile on her face was mirrored there. "That was, kind of, fun, once you get over the fear that you're going to die," she commented. "Do I put my head back on now?"

"You can try, but it won't work. I'm the only one here who can un-behead you and I shan't do that for the moment, as a guarantee of good behaviour." This time I was telling the truth. "And you're going to help me punish this lot."

"I guess that'll be fun, but how am I going to help you if my hands are full holding my head?"

"It'll be alright. We'll have a glass of wine and you can walk about holding your head for a few minutes, until it comes natural, then you'll find you can put your head down on a flat surface and walk your body about quite naturally as long as you can see it. So wine first, then some practice at being headless, then we saw Bridgette in half."

Everyone seemed happy with the proposed sequence of events. Casey got to try out her new state of being; Bridgette had been in a thin model before and was not worried and the rest were not thinking much further than the glass of wine.

I opened a bottle and it was soon poured down our collective throats. At first Cassie seemed worried that drinking would lead to the wine pouring out of her severed neck, but I assured her that it would work as if her neck was connected just like her breathing, which was unimpeded, despite the skin over her neck stumps.

As the first bottle was proved to be empty by inverting it, I declared it was time for us to cut Bridgette in half. She got up and looked around to find the thin model sawing box and headed for it. Me and the other hens pushed some of the clutter aside to form a space, which I chose to make sure that the camera would get a good view.

Bridgette threaded her way through the chaos of discarded illusions pushing the thin model sawing table. As she arrived, she asked, "How come your hubby left this behind; surely you can't have a properly satisfying illusion show without a sawing in half illusion. Don't audiences expect it nowadays?"

"It's ok. He's taken three sawing in half illusions with him."

Tanya's curiosity surfaced again. "Three? And he leaves one behind?"

"No he's left more than one behind. That one and that one and those two over there and this one here are all sawing in half illusions of different types."

"How many ways are there to saw someone in half?" she asked.

I decided a display of my knowledge would improve their confidence in my competence when it came to the others being involved in illusions of their own. "I know of three, not counting the jigsaw and the buzzsaw which are technically 'sawing through' illusions."

"So, this one? Why didn't your husband take it with him?"

"Because he's got a newer, more up to date one that has clear boxes. This one he only uses with less experienced assistants; if he can get enough rehearsal time with an assistant, he prefers to use the 'Clearly Impossible', because of the greater audience impact." I answered.

"'Clearly Impossible'? What's that?" Ally asked; she seemed to have not worked it out from context.

"That's the name most magician's give to any sawing with transparent boxes. It was the name the inventor gave to the version he invented. I think it may have been trademarked, but I'm not sure. Anyway it seems to be suffering the same fate as the Hoover, which started out as a brand name, but became a name for the thing it was famous for."

"Weren't you going to saw me in half?" asked Bridgette, who was in the act of removing the stocks and blades from their storage places inside the box on the sawing table.

"Sorry, Bridge, I got side-tracked. Thanks for bringing the thin model over, but you're not going in that one." She looked surprised. I pulled forward another cabinet. "I'm going to cut you in half with this one."

For a moment, her jaw refused to work. "But I don't how that one works. Won't that be a problem?"

"You mean like cutting Cassie's head off was a problem because she had never been beheaded before?" I queried.

I detected Cassie trying nod and then having discovered how ineffective a headless nod is, she said, "Yeah."

Bridgette admitted defeat, and came over to look at the cabinet I was telling her would cut her in half. She whispered, "You'll get me through this safely, right?" I gave a confident nod to say, 'Yes.' Louder, she added, "So, me bringing that one over was a waste of time?"

"Of course not. I can use that on someone else later. I'll even let you choose who." Tanya, Karen and Ally shuffled nervously at the hint that one of them might be the future occupant of the box.

Bridgette turned her attention to the box I had told her she would be cut in half in. First, she walked round it; I assume she was trying to work out the trick of it. All she concluded was that the top half of the vertical cabinet would be pushed sideways onto the top of the table mounted beside the lower half of the cabinet, but with no obvious slots for inserting a blade, how this was supposed to make some semblance of sense escaped her.

I opened the doors in the side as one, so as not to fold the roller blind mounted on the lower part of the door, but attached to the upper part. Bridgette came round to look into the interior; she found it empty of blades and fake limbs. She seemed to take this a good thing, because she did not resist my gentle push to get her to step into the cabinet. With Bridgette in the box I closed the doors, while she took the hint presented by the holes in the front of the cabinet. Her toes wriggled their way into view in the flat triangular opening at the base of the lower section, her hand emerged from the bottom corner of the upper part and her face showed in the opening for that.

"You alright in there?" I asked as I opened the triangular viewing doors in the front of the illusion. The lower door was hinged at the side next to the entrance doors, the top was parallel with the dividing line but a couple of inches below it and the other side curved down to meet the hinged side at about shin level. The upper door was the same but turned 180 degrees with the face hole above the curved edge and the hand-hole being a cut out section in the bottom corner.

"I've been in more comfortable places." She quipped. "Am I getting fat? Or is this meant to be this tight across my hips?"

Rather than criticise my friend's physique, when I felt I could probably do with losing a few pounds myself, I said, "It's meant to be tight up to the waist, to keep your legs from moving about too much." I closed the viewing doors. "We're nearly ready. Karen, there's a pot of assorted swords behind you. Would you bring me one with a sharp edge, please?"

I picked on Karen, because she had been noticeably quiet since the magical events had started and Cassie, while having got her headless legs sorted, did not have a convenient surface to place her head on to free up her hands for such duties.

The sword she extracted from the container was plain in style, but had a very sharp edge; Bernard asserted that I could shave my legs with any of his swords; I have never put that assertion to the test. Cautiously, Karen handed me the sword; her manner made me suspect that she would be the most difficult to persuade to partake of the magic.

I held the sword up for all to see, particularly Bridgette, before I fed it through a slot in the edge of the table part of the apparatus; the sword's edge jutted out enough that it was inside that edge of the cabinet. Bridgette complained that she could feel it at her waist, through her blouse. This reminded me to suggest that she untuck her blouse from her skirt so that it did not get damaged as the sword went through. Her hand disappeared for a long enough to achieve this.

"So, I guess, the next thing is you pass that sharp sword through me, right?" commented Bridgette, not anticipating the prospect with any enthusiasm.

"No. That's not how it goes. It goes like this." I flicked up the small bolt that held the cabinet's upper part in place over the lower and pulled the handle just above the blade slot and with it the entire upper half of the cabinet slid smoothly onto the table structure next to the lower half.

Bridgette let out a squeal, which owed a lot more to surprise than pain. The others squealed in sympathy and then fell to giggling at the sight that presented itself when I re-opened the viewing doors. The lower half stood where it had been, but the upper half was sitting on the table part and there was at least an inch between the two parts.

"That felt weird," said Bridgette, "not at all unpleasant, just weird."

I silently directed her gaze down and sideways to where her toes were visible. She saw her toes and wriggled them. Then realization dawned, her hands went to her belly and followed it down to the top of the table. She stuck her head as far out of the face-hole as she could and glimpsed the top of the lower part of the box she had stepped into. This was covered by the cloth of the blind on the door.

She looked me in the eye and said, "You've really done it, haven't you. You really cut me in half!"

I nodded as if this was the most natural thing in the world.

"But why?"

"Why not? You're not hurt or in danger. In fact, you're in a magician's workshop and practice room, would you expect anything less? You know from Cassie's example that there is real magic; I feel sure you'd have been disappointed, if you found that I had faked it."

"I guess so," she admitted, "But all the same you could have warned me."

"I did, but you weren't listening; too busy planning how you impress our friends by pretending to be sawn in half."

"Ok, you sawed me in half. What happens next?"

"That depends, how do you feel about using one of these?" I handed her a double joystick game console controller.

"What am I meant to do with this?" she tugged on the lead that trailed from the handset and waved the plug on the end at me.

I grabbed the plug and reached passed her to the back corner of the upper box and plugged it in. "Both boxes are motorised. The left stick controls the lower half and the right one does the upper half and the buttons on the corners adjust the height of the table." She quickly tried both joysticks and all the buttons, but nothing happened. "Patience, Bridge!" I chided, "Give me a chance to disconnect the two halves, Bernard would kill me if you burnt out the motors. Then I'll switch it on for you. While I finish here, getting Bridgette ready to move, why don't one of you go and get the tray with the wine and glasses? I left them by the guillotine and Bridge's lower half would make a great table." Cassie made a move to go, but I stopped her by saying, "Not you Cassie, we don't want to lose you or the wine, if you should trip on something, because I can tell that you are still a bit unused to being headless." Ally got up.

A bit of fiddling about later and the two parts of the cabinet were detached from each other and I flipped the power switches on each half. As Bridgette took control of her locomotion, I cautioned to be careful about not running into things, because if the cabinet was damaged it might be difficult to get her two halves reunited. While she was practicing moving about in two halves Ally return with the tray and bottles. We put the tray on top of Bridgette's lower half and Cassie took the glasses round to the other girls, while holding her head under one arm; Bridgette trundled passed and scooped up a glass for herself.

While we emptied another bottle, the conversation ranged widely, but seemed to avoid the question of who would Bridgette choose to occupy the sawing box she had brought over.

When the bottle was empty, I laid it aside. "Ok, Bridge, who's next to be 'punished'?"

It became obvious that Bridgette had given it no thought what so ever, assuming that I was kidding, or distracting her from the only illusion she know how to perform. Her face showed a cross between indecision and panic. She seemed to be trying to work out if she could find a plausible excuse to pick anyone; not wanting to been seen to be picking on anyone. Her face lightened and she smiled a little. "You're Kate's next victim, Tanya." Before Tanya could do more than point at herself with a look combining disbelief and betrayal, Bridgette added, "You've been asking questions about magic all evening; it's time you felt what it feels like."

Cassie seemed to approve the choice, perhaps remembering that Tanya had been asking questions about magic while she was in the guillotine rather than doing her best to stop the blade from being dropped.

Tanya's initial shock at being picked dissipated as something like curiosity and a spirit of adventure took hold. She had registered that neither Cassie nor Bridgette had shown any signs of pain, but the idea of becoming a Tanya in two parts still seemed an impossible and slightly scary prospect. "What would I need to do?" She gave the impression that she assumed that this one must be fake.

"Well, you can start by taking that dress off, because you don't want it to be turned into a two-piece, do you? You'll have to tell me where you got it; you have such great taste in clothes."

"Why? Surely if doing magic regularly damaged the assistant's clothes, you'd see the damage on the assistant's costume."

"Yes, true, but the magicians have thought about that and design the costumes so that they aren't in line to be damaged, such as mid-riff-baring tops and bikinis; skimpy outfits aren't just to cater for the men in the audience. Some go so far as to enchant the costumes with self-repair spells, but that's very expensive and only worth it if you are doing a long run in a big casino or such like. Then there's the fact that if you are doing the illusion instead of the magic there is no problem, except preventing the costume from catching on anything; skin-tight outfits aren't just for the boys either."

At this point I registered that Tanya was not wearing a bra, which was probably the reason for her resisting removing her dress. "Go on. It's not like you have anything we haven't seen before."

Unhelpfully, Bridgette appended, "Or quite a few men."

Tanya's reputation was not snow white. She said she was looking for Mr Right, but we reckoned that she seemed very willing to test-drive anyone with the right qualifications; we often remarked, behind her back, that those qualifications were a pulse and a penis. Despite this thought I felt that Bridgette's remark was unhelpful. Then I remembered that I was meant to save the security camera recordings for Bernard and I did not want my husband ogling my friend's tits; even if it was going to be in grainy black and white.

"How about I find you a costume of some sort and you can be sawn in half in that," I suggested.

They all seemed excited by the idea of costumes, so I led them to the wardrobe area and allowed them to rummage. I tagged along with Tanya to help chose a costume that was sawing-friendly. While the others poked about and commented on the selection of costumes covering the full spectrum from 'this is gorgeous,' to 'your husband must be a sexist pig, if he expects anyone to wear a costume like that.' That last one, I told them, I had bought to spice up our sex life and had enjoyed the afternoons I had spent in it.

The costume search for Tanya had come down a sexy schoolgirl outfit and an Arabian harem costume. I encouraged her to choose the Arabian outfit, because I did not want to have to replace the stockings that went with the schoolgirl.

Tanya took the clothes into the small changing area. While she changed, Cassie asked why I had a wedding dress in amongst the rest.

That brought back memories. I told them about the time I had attended a Halloween party as 'the headless bride' while really headless much as Cassie was as she listened to the tale. Once I had been beheaded I dressed in the dress and Bernard fitted a small shelf on the side to rest my head on, then fitted a veil to hide the straps holding my head in place. I had enjoyed it and the opportunities to tell many men 'My eyes are down here' had not been passed up. The only downside that I remembered was that eating and drinking had been a cumbersome affair, with my mouth not where I am used to it being.

Then I had a brainwave, I conscripted Ally and Karen to help Cassie change into the headless bride costume, which meant she kept her head and freed up her hands to help me, without the need to constantly find resting places to put her head.

As Tanya emerged in the harem outfit, the other three bustled passed to occupy the tiny changing area. "Where are they going?" she asked.

"They're going to help get Cassie into my headless bride outfit; seems rather fitting doesn't it? And because that costume has a place to put a loose head, she'll be more useful with her hands free from head holding duties."

"Ok, while we're alone, what's the secret to being sawn in half?" Tanya whispered conspiratorially. It seemed that Tanya had not got the message that the magic was real and that I intended to saw her into two sections, unless I passed that privilege to Cassie. "Won't I need to put out some fake feet or hide in the table or something like that?"

"There is no secret to this sawing in half," I assured her, "because you don't need to do anything; it'll all be taken care of. You don't need to do anything special, because I know what I'm doing." I felt that this was close enough to the truth, as if I insisted on the plain truth she would think I was lying to her.

While we waited for Cassie to be put into costume Bridgette trundled passed and asked if I could make her two halves go faster. I told her that there was no 'turbo' button and reminded her to be careful about not damaging the equipment.

I found the head shelf that went with the bride costume and when Cassie came out decked in the white dress I fitted the shelf and strapped her head in. After a few steps she announced her approval of the arrangement and asked how long we were going to have to wait before half our party was in two parts each. We headed to the area where the sawing box was and I called out to Bridgette that we were about to start the next 'punishment'.

I was the last to arrive, having taken a detour to pick up something. The rest of the girls were looking into the box, commenting variously that it looked tight, comfortable and a bit scary. I thought it was time to get things moving, so I said, "Right girls, it's time to get Tanya into the box. You've had enough time to find the fake feet, if there were any. Let's do this thing!"

I had expected that Tanya would reluctantly get into the box and still more reluctantly allow me to shut the lids. What happened I certainly had not foreseen; Karen and Ally grabbed Tanya, by the shoulders and ankles and lifted her into the box. Tanya did not struggle for fear of being dropped, this gave me the chance to get them to hold her down while I closed the lids over her. Ally seemed to know that Tanya was ticklish, so if she threatened to attempt anything, Ally ran her finger up Tanya's soles, causing fidgeting that prevented any coordination of limbs and body by our boxed semi-volunteer. With Tanya struggling it took a while to fit the stocks and open the side panel to show her arms and legs sleeved in the gauzy fabric of the Arabian costume.

With the stocks in place and an arm pulled through the side panel, Tanya subsided. I guessed that with no obvious way out, it seemed pointless to struggle; she claimed later she was tired from the struggling and tickling and needed a rest. I got Ally and Karen to give the box a turn, more to give Bernard a proper view, but it also had the benefit of keeping the two women involved and thus it might seem more natural that they would end up inside an illusion.

"Now that you are in the box with no way out, Karen and Ally will look after your ends; making sure that there is no doubt that they are real. The only thing left is to decide what to saw you in half with."

"Ok, I'll bite," said Tanya, "What'ya got?"

"Sword, blade, handsaw, lumber saw, jigsaw, sabre saw, bowsaw, I can even bring over the buzzsaw if you really feel you want to go that far."

While I listed the tools we could be tormenting her with, Tanya was trying to wriggle her feet to get them in through the foot stocks. First she tried to pull them straight in, then she turned them sideways, but found the opening was narrower than the depth of her heel too, and finally tried them at an angle only to discover that whichever way she tried there was always some part of the foot in the way of getting the rest in to allow her to compact herself into the upper half of the sawing box.

As she was concentrating on freeing her feet, she did not make any attempt to select from the bounty of options I had laid out for her. Rather than wait, I stepped away a few steps and picked up the item I had detoured to fetch. "As you haven't chosen in time, I get to choose and I chose the lumber saw." I lifted the six foot sawblade into view and hit it with a hammer showing them all that is was solid metal, except for the wooden handles at each end. I had chosen this implement so that the maximum number of people were directly involved in the illusion. I laid the blade across the box and told Cassie that she was going to be on the other end. The only person not part of this was Bridgette and she had chosen the victim in the first place.

Tanya saw the chosen tool and panic spread across her face, the rate of spread doubled when I laid across the box and invited Cassie to take hold of the other end. Cassie, with her changed point of view, took more time that might otherwise have been the case to take hold of the handle.

"Wait! I'm not ready!" shrieked Tanya.

"Of course you are," I countered.

"But I can't get my feet in," she moaned.

"You'll be fine," I said, treading the border between reassuring and dismissive and not being sure which side I ended up on. "Ok, Cassie let's get this done, before Tanya whines too much."

Cassie's displaced expression showed a little uncertainty, but she did not prevent me from lining the saw up to the slot over Tanya's middle. The lined up saw dropped into the gap until it rested on Tanya's belly.

"Stop! I can feel the saw on my tummy."

"Where else did you expect to feel it? Across your ankles?" I asked mischievously.

"I didn't expect to feel it at all. I feel the teeth pressing into me."

"Cassie, pull when I say pull then we'll go from there. It'll be easier on Tanya if we can keep a steady rhythm going. Ready? Pull!" As I push there was a moment of resistance from Cassie, then she was helping. Tanya squealed her shock at feeling the saw teeth running over her belly; I know from experience that that's all you feel, there is no feeling of the teeth biting into your skin or tugging at your guts as it goes through.

Tanya must have thought we were toying with her, but still been afraid that we might accidentally cut her. "Hey, be careful! You know how ticklish I am; if I jiggle you might cut me."

The other girls could see that the saw was gradually lowering, implying that it was lowering through Tanya. None of them let on that what Tanya said she was feeling was at odds with what appeared to be happening.

Cassie's expression of 'Why am I doing this?' changed to 'What am I doing?' when she felt the increased effort of cutting through Tanya's spine; she might not have noticed if Tanya had been a little further up or down so that the saw slipped between the vertebrae. The spine gave way quickly under the strokes of the saw, which soon came to rest in the base of the box on the metal shelf there to prevent it falling through. Cassie seemed relieved when I stopped sawing and stood back; as did Tanya.

"You had your fun," she said, "Now can you let me out of here."

"Not quite yet," I replied. "There are a few bits and pieces to do before we get to that part."

"In that case, can you get on with it, please? Because those tight foot stocks are beginning to chafe against my shins."

I picked up a divider blade and tapped it to demonstrate its solidity, before offering the chance to do the same to Ally at the foot end, then Karen at the head end, directly over Tanya's face.

"What are you going to do with that?" Tanya asked.

I placed the blade on the box lid and told her that I would be putting it into the box, once the saw came out, because I did not want to clear up her guts if they fell out of the box. Cassie aided me in lifting the saw from the slot and I replaced it with the divider fitted into the guide slot in the lower half.

The next divider I inserted following the guide in the upper box, part way down, I angled it so that it appeared to be jammed in the slot. We went through the whole 'the blade's stuck, pull the head' routine and the blade, with an unnoticed nudge from me, dropped into place. Bernard does not do this, but then when he does the sawing he does it a serious manner, where such playful antics would be counter to the feel of the performance.

With blades safely in, I stowed the saw and then leaned over the table to unlatch the catches on Cassie's side. I warned Ally and Karen to keep the two halves pressed together while I undid the latches on my side. I put a hand on each blade handles and on cue as I said "Separate!" they pulled as I pushed and I stepped between the two table halves.

Tanya felt the contradictory movement of her two halves and heard me sing, "Ta-da!"

"Ok, what's happened? Something doesn't feel quite right."

"Shall we show her?" I asked. The consensus was that we should. I took another step forward and placed a hand on each of the front inner corners of the boxes and then stepped back again, leaving Karen and Ally to push their ends forward and inward until the half tables were parallel.

"My god! You've really done it! Those are my feet. How?"

"By magic, of course. And may I add, quite well, for someone who doesn't get much practice." I was trying to be modest, because I thought I had done a marvellous job of performing this classic illusion.

Tanya tried to reach across the gap between to two tables to touch her feet, between us, me and Ally, shifted the foot table to make this possible. As she touched her feet and giggled as if tickled.

"Alright, I'm convinced you really sawed me in half. Now put me back together!" she demanded.

"Why should I?" I asked.

"Because I don't want be cooped up in this box for the rest of the evening." I was relieved that she did not say that she did not like being in two pieces.

"Ok, we can sort that," I said. I reached over and pulled out the foot stock and released the catch holding the lid shut. "Try sitting up!" I instructed. Tanya looked puzzled. "You know, like you were doing a sit-up, so try not to use your arms." There was a tap as the box lid lifted briefly and then fell back.

"That feels weird; like I'm sitting and lying down at the same time."

"I know," I commented. "Ally, take a good grip on Tan's ankles and pull, but stop before her arse falls off the end of the table."

Ally gave me a questioning look, then did as I had asked. Soon Tanya's lower half clad in gauzy harem pants was sitting on the end of the table and she was staring at her hip. She reached out to check it was real and flinched as she felt herself poked in the thigh with her finger. Above the waistband stood about half an inch of belly and this was topped off with a plane of skin that totally matched Tanya's skin tone, because it was her skin.

"That was not the end I was worried about being cooped up. It's just that the view from down here is a bit limited," complained Tanya.