The Late Night Sexy Show: Lisa and the Artist


As the saxophone riff, heavy breathing and the nude silhouette fade, Martin Staithe and Angelica Thrust are shown seated together on the sofa from which they have conducted many an interview.

Angelica begins. "Good evening, and welcome to the Late Night Sexy Show."

Martin smoothly continues the flow, by adding, "Later in this evening's program our 'frequently nude' reporter, Mary Plenty, will be visiting famed artist, Magnus Dressler, best known for his works that involve taking garments and half destroying them before, and sometimes while, they are modelled." There follows a short montage of models wearing dresses that have been partly ruined.

When the montage is complete, Angelica follows with, "then after our regular review of the most recent adult video titles worth watching, our semi-resident magician, Gabriel, has an illusion to present that he says will complement Mary's report. That should be interesting, especially as we have another viewer who has volunteered to take part."

"But before all that we will be talking with Martha Sheridan, formerly, and much better known as, Betty Boobs, about her career as a star of adult films and what she is doing since she retired from 'The Bed on the Set' (which is the title of the first volume of her memoir)."

The shot widens to include the interviewee's sofa, as is customary, where a striking older woman in an elegant white satin gown and a fur stole sits. The interview proceeds.

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After the ad-break, Martin and Angelica introduce a report by the show's 'frequently nude' reporter, Mary Plenty, who visits the studio of Magnus Dressler, an artist famous for video installations and exhibits of clothes being destroyed, in some instances while being worn, and others prior to being worn, by models. The artist himself expounds on the technical difficulties of constructing destructible dresses, fortunately enlivened by visuals of some of the garments mentioned, most of which leave little to the imagination when it comes to the physique and proportions of their models. This inevitably climaxes in Mary wearing one of his semi-soluble dresses and giving her final remarks to camera, while the dress is sprayed with tepid water and begins to fall apart, exposing the reporter's naked form underneath.

The shot returns to the presenters, and Martin invites viewers to visit the show's website to watch the full version of Mary modelling the Dressler Semi-soluble Dress and several others. They then proceed to the video reviews, with the usual collection of gems and horrors. Then later than usual in the running time the second ad-break occurs.

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"Welcome back, to the final part of the Late Night Sexy Show," begins Angelica, "Where we will be watching, our favourite magician, Gabriel, perform a piece of magic that he says will complement Mary's report about the artist, Magnus Dressler."

Again the shot widens to show the interviewee's couch, sat there is the familiar figure of Gabriel, dressed in imitation of Magnus Dressler, in T-shirt with a rip across the chest and distressed jeans. Beside Gabriel sits a young woman in a white sun-dress that almost reaches her ankles.

"Welcome back, Gabriel. Where is the lovely Annika?" asks Martin.

"Unfortunately, she can't be here this evening, due to a long-standing family commitment, but we have managed to get, at very short notice, a willing volunteer from your mail-bag of volunteer viewers. This beautiful young woman is Lisa."

Both presenters say, "Hello, Lisa," in unison, with Angelica adding, "So, Lisa, how are you feeling about the prospect of being in one of Gabriel's illusions?"

"Naturally, I'm a bit nervous about being in an illusion on live tele, and, of course, having seen some of what that Dressler fellow did to ruin some, what started out as, gorgeous dresses, I'm a bit worried. But the destruction of that dress he called 'After the storm' was spectacular; who knew that electrical discharges could do that kind of damage and the girl wearing it over that metal mesh under-dress was very brave. I hope I'll seem as brave when this is finished."

"So, you, like us, haven't been told what is going happen then?" queried Martin.

"Well, he showed me the cabinet, but then there wasn't much to see; just a frame and four panels. Then he gave me this dress to put on; which makes sense to me; if he's going to ruin a dress, I'd far rather he ruined one he supplied, instead of one of mine."

Gabriel was looking slightly impatient, so Angelica steps in suggesting they move to the demonstrations area where the illusion was to be performed. They all rise to go there. The shot transfers to the demonstrations area and the four arrive there in a few seconds; the director fills the gap with a reprise of the saxophone and heavy breathing signature tune of the show.

The area seems to be empty. Gabriel takes charge; he is aware of the presenter's tendency to make unhelpful comments or do unexpected things if not kept busy. So he has Martin go and fetch the items stowed behind the curtain that hangs at the rear of the performance space, while guiding Lisa to a mark on the floor and then guiding Angelica to the side to be out of the way of what will happen next.

"Lisa, please stand still and raise your hands above your head so they form a spire." In his pocket he presses a button that starts a winch that lowers the cabinet from the studio ceiling. The cabinet frame is made of square tubes of steel forming a box frame not quite four feet high with four feet about sixes inch high. The top of the frame is covered by a patch of stretchy fabric that allows things to pass through by stretching round them.

"Lisa, when the top of the frame reaches your fingers, just push through it, OK?"

Lisa is concentrating on being within the cabinet without being bumped by it during its descent, so just nods. Once the fingers have passed through the fabric topping the frame, she gives several wriggles to facilitate the passage of her arms, head and shoulders through the stretchy stuff at the top of the frame. At this point the feet reach the floor, guided the last few inches by Gabriel so that the feet land square to the onlooking camera.

Martin has brought out some stuff that seems to be some plastic panels and a couple sticks with straps attached. The magician passes the panels to Angelica to look after, and accepts the sticks, before asking Martin to go and fetch the last item.

As Martin returns behind the curtain, Gabriel goes back to the cabinet and fits the ends of the sticks to the top of the frame just behind the line of Lisa's upraised arms. "Lisa, you may lower your arms now and hold them in front of the horizontal bars; I shall be strapping them, not tightly, to them, so that your arms don't get tired." Matching his actions to his words, Lisa has her arms supported straight out from her body, just above the cabinet's frame.

Gabriel invites Angelica to bring forward the plastic panels, each of which, she has found out, consists of a thin wooden frame with a thick polythene sheet attached to it, just the right size to cover a face of the cabinet. The plastic is clear enough that general shapes can be perceived through it, but not much more. There is a rattle as Martin drags a tall pot from behind the curtains; the contents of the pot are not visible, because there is a cloth draped over them.

It does not take Gabriel long, with some minor help from Angelica, to fit each of the plastic panels to the frame; the top of each panel is fitted under a rim at the top edge of the frame and secured in place with a black stripe of the cloth-backed adhesive tape, known in theatrical circles as gaffer tape. The resulting sight is a translucent cabinet in which Lisa stands, covering her armpits down to a little above her ankles, so that about an inch of the dress shows. At the top above the top of the box is Lisa's head and shoulders and her arms, help out to the side, supported by the bit of extra framework. The shoulder straps and about half an inch of the top edge of the dress are visible.

As the camera takes in Lisa's predicament, Gabriel takes Angelica back to the side where Martin is waiting. The magician uncovers the pot to reveal the hilts of many swords. He draws one with a simple cross-piece at the hilt end and demonstrates its solidity, by tapping the point on the studio floor and making an effort to flex it, with very little noticeable effect.

Taking the sword to the cabinet he drives it through just below the top edge of the frame, where the vague silhouette of Lisa's body, also as logically dictated by the obvious continuation of the visible parts of Lisa from above the frame, indicates should be the middle of her upper chest. Lisa flinches at the suddenness of the action and then smiles as if the experience was vastly better than the anticipation.

Gabriel quickly organises Angelica and Martin to hand him more swords, until there are a total of five swords evenly spaced along the underside of the upper edge of the cabinet, going from front to back and a further three going just below these through the sides of the cabinet.

"Now that the basics of the illusion are in place, it is time to introduce a random element into the proceedings, as Mr Dressler does. In this instance, you are that random element," he says, indicating the show's presenters. "You will notice that there are another eight swords still in the stand. I ask you to take the swords and thrust them through the cabinet, making sure that they make contact with our brave volunteer and go all the way through. And making sure that blades are in a vertical orientation." Lisa is still looking a little apprehensive, but not in any pain.

Martin and his co-hostess do not need another invitation and quickly, the two have thrust four swords each through the cabinet and the volunteer's body contained within. While this is happening Gabriel detaches the cabinet's frame from the frame above, from which it was suspended, by removing the wire cables that made the connection from both frames and tossing them aside.

"How are you doing in there?" asks the magician.

"It's alright. Actually, it's quite nice. And I can feel that the cloth of the dress has been cut where the swords have gone in, And I suppose it's also cut where the swords come out, but I can't feel that, because the sword tips pushed it away from my body. So what happens next? I assume something will happen next; from what I've seen of your magic, you're not one to do a directly straight-forward illusion, so what's the twist?"

"Allow me to show you, as well as my helpers," He nods towards the show's presenters, "and the viewers at home." He rapidly unstraps Lisa's outspread arms and asks her reach upward again. Using the controller in his pocket he lowers the frame that had previously had supported the cabinet so that Lisa can reach it. "Please, put your hands through the safety-loops and grasp the bar."

After some fiddling and a little help from Gabriel and Martin, Lisa grabs hold of the bar above her head.

"Now hold on!" instructs the magician, pressing a button on the winch controller in his pocket. The bar is pulled towards the studio ceiling, pulling Lisa with it. But the swords in the top of the cabinet remain in place, but the others, inserted by the presenting duo, are dragged up the cabinet until they run into the swords criss-crossing the cabinet top. There is also the sound of tearing fabric. As Lisa emerges from the fabric top of the cabinet, the dress shows vertical gashes, but the flesh beneath does not.

As Lisa is drawn through the top of the cabinet, the blurry image of her body follows, until she is dangling from the bar above the cabinet in a dress with many lengthwise rips in it. Gabriel kicks over the cabinet with a great clatter and then lowers Lisa back to the floor and allows her to detach herself from the trapeze bar.

Gabriel stands next to Lisa in her slashed dress and waves the presenters in to take their positions either side of magician and volunteer assistant. "I am willing to bet that Mr Dressler has not attempted to shred a dress while it was being worn by a model," he says. "Lisa, I know it's not much but you can keep the dress as a souvenir." The strips of the former sun-dress have been dislodged by Lisa's movements, resulting a view of her breasts and her flat belly.

The floor manager is giving Martin and Angelica the 'wind-up' signal. So instead of asking Lisa how she enjoyed the magic, they begin to trail the planned highlights for the next show.