The Lab Accident.
by Vaughan</a>
This document is classified.
TOP SECRET
Unauthorized persons should read no further. The penalty for
reading this document or divulging the contents to an unauthorized
person is up to 6 years imprisonment and an
unlimited fine.
We were researching the possibilities if proton-neutron fusion
which would, of course, lead to an unlimited power supply,
without even the expense of plants to extract deuterium from the
sea. The underground lab was hidden under a small farm complex in
North Dakota and was almost entirely self-contained. We had
enough of everything to hole up there for over a year, if
necessary.
My name is Dr Caroline Phelps, My doctorate being in quantum
cohesion. I stand 5'3" in my stockinged feet so I usually
wear three inch heels. and at the lab I normally wear a lab coat
of a blouse and skirt; and if you must know bra, panties and
stockings. I have worked here for three years since gaining my
doctorate. I have got to know most of the staff at the facility,
but I am particular friends with Professor Thwaite, he lets me
call him Jim in private. We did not work together, just in
adjacent labs. When either of us had a problem that was
frustrating us, we would go next-door for a cup of coffee and
talk about it. We always found that talking and explaining stuff
to each other made things clearer in our minds, even if the
person talked to only had the faintest glimmer of what the other
was babbling about. Jim and me developed a bond of friendship,
respect and mutual incomprehension. The only time one was not
welcome in the other's lab was during the infrequent bouts of
experimentation.
Both our labs had large quantities of rare and exotic
equipment, chemicals and isotopes. It would difficult, if not
impossible, to reproduce what happened because the official
inventories were lost in the accident and it is always possible
that the cold I was suffering at the time had an influence on
what happened.
Eight days before the accident we had received a major
delivery of materials and equipment. So Jim and I had not seen
much of each other, because we spent all the available hours
preparing for the experiments. His laser experiments required
balanced charging of huge banks of capacitors and alignment of
targets to within microns. My work involved preparing samples for
my ultra-compression device.
On the day of the accident, I was ready to put my first sample
into the ultra-compressor and Jim was continuing his delicate
alignments with a low power, visible green laser. Elsewhere in
the complex others were preparing there work.
I placed the first sample in the ultra-compressor and began it
cycling to a pressure of 50 trillion atmospheres, when I felt the
first shock and then the second. Somewhere in the underground lab
complex a double explosion, of sufficient power for shake the
floor, had occurred. Such an explosion will have shower myriads
of high energy exotic particles through out the entire lab. There
were two obvious consequences of the shock (or possibly the
particle burst). The first was that my sample exploded with
sufficient force to knock me off my feet. The number and types of
particle flooding my body at that point would be anyone's guess.
The second effect was that Jim's huge laser fired and burned a
hole through my lab. I fell through the beam that crossed my lab.
When I hit the floor my torso from my waist up bounced left
and by lower half bounced right. It took me a while to realize I
had been severed. I did not move for fear I might break the cauterized
cut surface and bleed to death. I yelled for help. I
could hear Jim coming. I checked my sensation to determine how
injured I was. I had a small cut in my scalp that would take care
of itself. I had bruises all down my back. I hoped that fact I
was not feeling faint meant I had no internal bleeding. I then
realized I could feel bruises developing on my heels and the
rough texture of shattered safety glass under my buttocks.
Jim came in and was immediately and violently sick.
I asked if he was alright. He was shocked that I could do
anything, let alone calmly enquire as to his well-being,
especially in my apparent situation.
"Oh, Caroline, don't worry about me. I thought you were
dead or dying. How come you are still conscious. Did you know you
seem to be cut in two."
"Yes, I seem to be in two bits, but oddly I can still
feel my legs. There doesn't seem to be any bleeding." I had
a thought, if I can feel my legs perhaps they might move if I
tried to move them. I tried to move my toes and observed them
moving in exactly the intended ways. "I've just noticed I
still have control of my legs."
"Caroline don't get your hopes up, those were just muscle
spasms," he said gently.
I started humming a song and twitching my toes in time. At
first Jim looked worried, and then puzzled. "Let me get this
right. You have sensation and control throughout your body even
though you appear to be lying on the floor in two separate
portions. How did you get divided any way?"
"I think it went like this. When the floor shook my
sample exploded and knocked me to the floor. I must have fallen
through that beam on the way down," I said indicating the
green beam visible in the haze that hung in the air.
"That beam could not have cut you. It's just the
alignment beam." He said putting his hand into the beam and
blocking it. "But the big laser did fire," after a
pause, "No that can't be it. The brute only gives a three
millisecond pulse when fully changed so it did not last long
enough to cut more than a hole in the wall and the furniture in
here."
"You use that green laser, because it is low power. It
couldn't cut paper." I waved my arm through the beam and my
hand and wrist fell off and landed on the floor beside me. We
both screamed. Severed limbs are not usually a common occurrence
in physics labs.
I recovered my senses first and used my other hand to pick it
up. I looked at the cut end. It was black. It was so black that I
could not see and detail. I raised the stump of my arm and looked
at that, it was the same total black. I tried touching the
severed end together having been careful that they lined up.
There was a bright flash and I was holding my hand which seemed
to be re-attached to my body. I examined it closely and could not
even tell where the cut had been.
I asked Jim to carefully realign my legs and then bring then
in contact. With much effort he achieved that. I actually quite
enjoyed the sensations of having my legs touched by Jim.
There was another flash and I knew I was whole. I sat up
carefully avoiding the green beam that still crossed the lab.
A little experimentation showed us that only the green laser
light caused the cutting. Jim's higher powered red laser only
caused a painful burn. The other discovery was that only the
parts cut stopped functioning, so I determined not to allow laser
cuts to my head or heart. We were running an experiment to see if
my reaction times were impaired by severing. So I had placed my
re-severed upper half on top of a lab stool at Jim's desk and was
reading while Jim ran reflex tests on my legs which sat on the
bench, a couple of meters away. We had worked out a fiber optic
outlet for the laser to make the cutting much more controllable
There was a knock at the door and in walked deputy director
Purcell. Jim had the presence of mind to quickly throw a dust
sheet over my legs and my lab coat covered the fact it was only
my upper half behind the desk.
Without preamble he said, "You may have felt a shock,
I've been sent to check that everyone is alright and tell you
that there will be a meeting in the main dining hall at
three." he took a moment to check his watch and added,
"That's about half an hour. I'd better be going. See you
there." As neither of us looked hurt or spoke, he turned and
bustled on his way.
With Jim's help I get myself back together. he told me that
reactions seemed unaffected by separation. We departed for the
meeting.
The meeting was just about to begin when we arrived, so we
took a couple of seats near the door and scanned the hall to see
who, if anyone, was missing. I was pleased to notice that there
seemed to be no faces missing. This was confirmed by the
facility's director who told us we were lucky because we had not
lost any lives just about 80% of our supplies and access to the
world above both physically and via communications. The upshot
was that the government thinks we just lost communication and
will take their time getting round to rescuing us and we are all
likely to be dead in three months, long before help arrives. They
invited suggestions on how to get things hurried up.
We all left feeling deeply depressed, especially as there seemed little we could do. So Jim
and I went back to our labs to continue experimenting with my new
power. We discovered that with care I could cut off my own head
and still speak. We had a discussion about whether we should keep
my powers secret and came to the conclusion that we should;
otherwise some potty group of researchers would have me
imprisoned trying to stop me coming apart or trying to find out
how it happened.
The following day the word went round that all work was to
stop, as the flood of particles from the explosion and the
consequences of the ensuing shock-wave had made just about
everyone's experiments invalid and unrepeatable. So survival and
morale became the top priority. To the first end all the access
controls to the plans and environmental controls were lifted to
allow us egg-heads to apply our idling brains to the problem of
escaping with a message. While to the second, entries were invited
to an entertainment.
Not being particularly good with plans and such-like, we
decided to mount a magic show making use of my new found talent
for being cut, while concealing that it existed. With help of a
technician we construct a sawing in half box, a cabinet for the
mismade woman and a pair long tubes longer than my arm. Each of
these had slots added to let the laser light threw to cut me and
handles so I could maneuvered myself out of the way of the
blades, when Jim inserted them. We did bother to practice, we did
check that the slots were correctly aligned. I realized that I
needed a skimpier costume than the sleek gown I had first
intended, because while I was cut my clothes were not and they
would be in the way. But bikinis, halter tops and short skirt are
not something I had thought to bring for a long stay in an
underground laboratory. I enquired among my colleagues and the
best I could find come up with was Asian technician who offered
me a sari. I jumped at it.
The night of show I was in a brilliant blue sari which I had
managed to drape so it only came to my knees. Under this I wore a
blue top and under-skirt which came with the sari, panties,
tights and flat slippers.
The two acts that preceded us were nothing to write home
about. I used to like Mr. Purcell's jokes but now I have heard all
six more times than is good for them. Professor Sharp sang a song
I have never heard of in a language I do not know. While it was
lovely to hear, the heart-rending story of passion he said it
told was just not there.
Jim and me came on different sides of the stage. I stepped on
the stage and stopped in surprise. From somewhere he had managed
to rustle up an Indian's costume with turban and embroidered
jacket. He presented me to the audience. I was gratified to
receive a whistle or two from the audience.
Jim started with a rope routine that he told the audience he
had learnt from a beggar outside a conference in Bombay, but he
had told me he had learnt from a magic tricks book as a boy. My
job was to hold the scissors and second piece of rope. I was
astounded at the things you could do with a rope. When he turned
it into an endless loop of rope I was completely fooled.
"Of course, a magician cannot just have an assistant
without having her do something." He stepped into the wings
for a moment and returned with a lightweight bench with the two
tubes on. I picked one up and demonstrated silently that my arm
was not as long as the tube. I replaced the tube, carefully
making sure the slots still lined up with the laser. I reached
into the tube, nearly as far as I could and used the remote
control concealed in my hand to trigger the laser to cut across
my upper arm. I then crawled my hand along the ladder in the
bottom of the tube until it was in view in gap between the tubes.
The onlookers applauded so I waved. I carried on into the second
tube and when my elbow was visible in the gap I triggered the laser
in the second tube that cut my forearm. I continued to crawl my
hand to the end of the tube, that was easier because it was
dragging less weight. When my hand reached the far end of the
second tube Jim picked it and the tube up and shook my hand. The
audience clapped and cheered. When they had quietened a bit Jim
tipped the tube so my hand slid back to cut in my forearm and I
felt the parts re-attach. He then pulled the tube off my forearm
and showed it to be empty. He then fed my arm into the first tube
and tipped it so my upper arm re-joined. The applause when he
showed that tube to be empty and that my arm did not stretch was
great. I was actually enjoying myself.
Jim then did a card trick in which several of our colleagues
participated. This got a polite but not enthusiastic round of
applause.
"The tradition is that the assistant should be put into
impossible predicaments, of which sawing her in half is a favorite."
Jim announced. I went and brought on the two
parts of the sawing box and positioned them together and got in.
Jim shut the lid and open the side panels so I could be seen. I
shuffled about in the box until I was comfortable, then Jim
fitted the neck and ankle stocks. These were quite loose because
I needed to move a bit. Jim brought out his laser and performed
the cut. He made some comment about how else a laser scientist
would cut someone in half. There were the expected heckles that
such a low power laser could not cut the skin of a rice pudding.
"So you don't believe me that I have cut miss Phelps in
two. I'll show you." He took hold of the box over my lower
half and pulled. It did not move, because I had a firm grip on
the bottom box with my hands. "OK, on to plan B," he
said, unclipping the large hand-saw from behind the box. The
audience gasped. Jim shut the side panels, to allow me to
separate enough for him to run the saw through and insert the
blades. I winked at him when I was ready and then started
wiggling my feet. He ran the saw through box. Just in time I
remembered to unloop the sari from my top and conceal it behind
my legs. He then inserted a pair of blades and separated the
boxes. I took the opportunity to place my severed ends against
the blades. He re opened the side panels and I reached out and
waved. I don't think anyone noticed I only had a top on.
Jim pushed the two halves together, pulled the blades out, I
melted back together, he removed the stocks and shut the side
panels and opened the lids. I had just enough time to loop the
sari back over my shoulder before I emerged unharmed from the
box.
While I shoved the sawing box into the wings and brought on
the four section cabinet, Jim was performing a trick I had built
having worked it out from seeing it on TV. Jim had worked out
some good patter as he pulled the strings with colored tassels
on at either end of the stick. The audience seemed to like the
simplicity of the trick and the wonderful lines that Jim had
invented.
"For my final trick," he stated, "I shall
perform the trick know as the mismade woman. That will pay back
Caroline for upstaging me all evening."
He opened the cabinet, helped me enter the cabinet and shut
the doors on me. I stood in position and triggered the lasers. I
was now in five parts, if you count each lower leg as a single
part. We had a small light in the cabinet so I could see what I
was doing. I saw the first knee-level blade enter the cabinet, so
I flexed my ankles and used the handles to raise the rest of me
above. I did the same when the second knee level blade entered. I
did the same when the waist level blades entered except it was my
hips I flexed. This time I remembered to unhook the top of the
sari. The next blade was the upper neck blade. I had to position
my head on it so that it stood in the middle. I raised my head
and allowed the blade to enter under it, then I started to try
positioning it so it looked at the 'X' chalk on the inside of the
door. Jim gave an extra shove before I was ready and tried to
push the blade through my forearm. I shouted "OWW!". I
heard the audience of my colleagues go deathly silent. Jim pulled
the blade out a bit and finish positioning my head. I tapped the
box and said "OK" when I was ready. Jim inserted the
blade fully and the lower neck blade. He then opened the panels
in the doors to show I was still there. Once he had shut the
panels again, he unstacked the boxes and then restacked the boxes
'wrong' and reopened the panels. From the stage I was feet, head,
chest and hips. Weird.
He then did something that surprised me. He took the hip box
and walked down the steps at the front of the stage and placed it
open next to his reserved seat in the front of the audience, he
returned for each box placing it next to his chair in the
audience. He sat and lifted the box with my head in it on to his
lap. He signaled the MC that he was finished.
None of the performances after that were up to much. I think
they were un-nerved by seeing my disembodied parts, especially my
head in a box on Jim's lap.
After the show Jim trolleyed my separate parts to my quarters.
Having stacked the boxes correctly he wished me a good night. I
stood there furious for a few minutes, then I calmed down realizing
it was down to me to get myself out of the box. I
turned out quite easy to pushed the lower neck blade out from the
inside. Pushing the upper head blade was harder with the weight
of my head resting on it, but once there was enough gap to get my
hand through it was easier. I re-attached my head. I then realized
that if I reached out I could start removing the blade
from the outside, then push them from the inside, when the tip of
the blade cleared the outside. This procedure got me back
together and out of the cabinet. The effort had made me very
tired, so I went straight to bed. I had some and disturbing
dreams that night about being trapped in confined spaces while my
body was in any number of pieces.
I did not see Jim for two or three days after the show. He
seemed to be avoiding me. But I did meet Professor Sharp.
"Hello, Miss Phelps, I hope your alright after your
adventures. Its a pity it wasn't for real," he greeted.
"How do you mean?" I asked.
"Well, we examined the plans and there is a way out of
here, but, because of security, it's too small for a person to
crawl through. If we could cut someone into small enough pieces
to get through and re-assemble them on the other side, they could
get out and tell the authorities of our plight," the
professor explained.
"So, you thought me and Jim could apply some of our
magical know-how to get someone past the narrow ducts."
"Yes, I suppose that's what I thought. But it looks
impossible," said Sharp.
"Let me be the judge of what's impossible," I
exclaimed. "Show me the plans!"
We went to his office and called up the plans. The route to
and from the constriction in the duct seemed straight-forward.
The plans told us that the narrow tubes slightly bigger than my
head and about twice the length of my arms. I felt that it should
be possible with my ability.
I thanked Professor Sharp for the information and rushed off
to get the equipment I needed for my escape. I had soon
accumulate a small knapsack of ropes, food, drinks and other
supplies. I also got some coveralls with knee and elbow pads and
a hard hat. The last thing I needed was the laser. I realized I
could not take the laser with me because it was a unit that was 3
foot on each side that was moved about on casters. So I needed
the laser and several miles of fibre-optic cable to get the light to
me.
I arrived at Jim's Lab, knocked and entered. "I forgive
you," I said, "but you owe me a big favor. So connect
up the longest bit of fibre-optic you have to your laser, so I can
escape and get us all rescued. Don't tell anyone how I went but
give it 48 hours to tell them I've gone. I'll be back by then if
I fail.
A short while later I was crawling down the main ventilation
conduit with a map/diagram I had got out of the computer and
trailing a fibre-optic cable. It took an hour's crawl to get to
the narrow conduit, it was about an inch wider than I had thought
it would be. I tied a lot of ropes round my head and tied the
other end to my left wrist. I then undressed and bundled the
overalls into the pack and tied a rope from the pack
to my right wrist.
I set to work with the laser. First I carefully cut my head
off and placed it next to the end of the tube. The second cut was
from my neck to my crotch, so I was divided into left and right
halves. I crawled my right half through the tube, it was a tight
squeeze but I made it. I then crawled my left half through the
tube. After some jockeying by feel I manage to get my two halves
back together. I then pulled my head through the tube and
replaced that. The pack came next. I got dressed again and
continued on the mapped route. It took five more hours crawling
and then climbing the lift shaft ladder.
I arrived at the top in the main building and was promptly
arrested by security up there. It took them a while to be
convinced them I had escaped from the lab below. I showed then my
pass. It took even longer to convince them that communications
failure was not the only trouble down there.
Six weeks later I met Jim again as he emerged from the lab
into the light of day. I told him he still owed me for the box
incident and that he could take me to dinner after de-briefing to
pay me back.
Romance blossomed. The lab was repaired, work continues, but I
am now Mrs. Thwaite.
The End (I hope....)