TRICK OR TREAT
by THE MAD TITAN!

Agent 69 adjusted her spider web, fishnet stockings and then carefully examined herself in the full-length mirror.  As always, she was pleased with her reflection.  She wasn’t sure what she should wear to the annual A.G.E.N.T. Halloween Masquerade Ball, but when she saw the Seductress costume at the uptown boutique, she knew it would be perfect.

The entire costume was black, from her three inch spiked heels to the leather bustier that was open from her neck to her hips.  The spider web fishnets were a pain to get on, but they were well worth the effort.  Agent 69 particularly liked the silk cape that flowed from her shoulders to just above her knees.

“That cute new guy in Linguistics is going to wet himself when he sees me tonight,” Agent 69 said to herself as she turned back and forth in front of the mirror.

Agent 69’s revelry was interrupted by the chirping of her cell phone on the table next to her bed.  She hit the “talk” button and before she could say a greeting, she heard Dominique Fortune’s voice say, “Agent 69, our sensors have detected a dimensional breach.  You are to check it out and report back to headquarters.”

“In case you forgot Dom, I have tonight off,” Agent 69 said dismissively.  “Send one of the lesser agents to check it out.  I have a big night planned for the ball tonight and for once, I am not going to miss it.”

Dominique tried very hard to suppress the anger she felt boiling up inside before she replied, “Of all our field agent’s, you have the most experience in dealing with interdimensional arrivals.  Your our best and brightest in this area 69 and I want you to handle it.”  Even though it pained her to say it, Dominique hoped that flattery would get Agent 69 to do as she was told.

“Nice try Dom,” Agent 69 said with a smile.  “But I’ve got the night off and there’s nothing you can say to change my mind.”  As if one cue, the doorbell chime rang at the front of Agent 69’s penthouse apartment.  “Gotta go sweetie, my limo’s here.  See you at the party.”  With that, she turned off her cell phone and tossed it on her bed.

Agent 69 paused to check herself in the mirror by the front door before she opened it.  Still satisfied that she looked ravishing, she opened the door.

“Trick or treat,” said the little girl wearing an obviously home made pink bunny costume said with a smile.  She held out a small orange pumpkin bucket in front of her for candy.

The shock of seeing a small girl dressed in a cheesy bunny costume instead of a limo driver shocked Agent 69 for a brief moment before she answered, “Sorry kid, not tonight.  I got a party to go to.”

Not deterred, the girl said again, “Trick or Treat.”  This time she shook the bucket a little to draw attention to how empty it was.

“Look kid, I don’t have anything for you and I don’t even think this building allows trick or treating,” Agent 69 said smugly.  “Now run home to your mommy before I call security.”

The sweet smile on the girl’s face quickly turned to an angry frown.  “When I say “Trick or treat” you’re supposed to give me candy.  That’s how it works.  Now give me candy!”  The anger in her voice was clear.

Agent 69 couldn’t believe her ears.  “Is this little brat telling me off?” she thought to herself.  Gathering herself up into her most intimidating tone Agent 69 responded, “I don’t have any candy, and even if I did, I wouldn’t give anything to someone dressed in such a horrible costume.  Now beat it!”

At first the little girl looked hurt.  Even though she muttered to herself, Agent 69 clearly heard her say, “I told mommy that this was a stupid costume.  I wanted her to buy me the fairy princess costume at the store, but she thought it would be fun if we made it together.”

Looking up, she realized that Agent 69 was looking at her like she was crazy.  This did not sit well with her, so she tried again.  “If you don’t give me candy I will have to play a trick on you.”

“What are you going to do kid?” Agent 69 asked, her voice dripping with mock fear.  “Throw your pumpkin at me.”

The mocking tone in Agent 69’s voice really angered the little girl.  Her pout rapidly turned into a menacing scowl.

Agent 69 wasn’t sure what shocked her more; the way the little girls costume just dissolved into a yellow dress or the way her eyes glowed bright red.  Her eyes opened wide at the realization to her situation.

At first, she was unsure as to what was happening.  All at once, the perspective of her surroundings was changing, the normal sounds of her apartment sounded hollow and far away and there was a strange smell coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.

“What’s happening?” Agent 69 groaned as her penthouse grew larger and larger.  Her tongue felt thick and dry in her mouth.

As her eyes still glowing bright red, Tantrum simply replied, “Trick or treat.”

She tried to move, but Agent 69 could no longer feel her arms or legs.  Her entire body felt numb.  She wanted to say more, but her mouth no longer responded.  

“Now this won’t do at all,” Tantrum said in her most mature voice.  “You can’t go out looking like that.”

Agent 69 had no idea what was happening.  She heard Tantrum speaking, but not with her ears.  It was like she was hearing her directly in her mind.  Then Tantrum did something strange, she reached above Agent 69’s head and lifted her up onto a table in the entry way.  Her view was filled with Tantrum’s cruel little smile and her glowing red eyes, until she stepped aside so Agent 69 could see her reflection in the mirror by the door.

The image in the mirror was of a large orange pumpkin with a pair of green eyes and Agent 69’s tell tale hair on top with a short green stem poking out of the top.  If she still had a mouth, she would have screamed in abject terror.

Slowly Tantrum glided back into Agent 69’s field of vision.  “Now let’s see if we can put a smile back on your face.” Tantrum said with a grin as she lifted a large knife into view.

The terror that filled Agent 69 was immeasurable as Tantrum slowly brought the blade closer.  As it neared her face, the blade left Agent 69’s field of vision.  She wanted to close her eyes so she wouldn’t see anymore, but she no longer had eyelids to shield her eyes from the gruesome sights to come.  

Agent 69 was shocked to realize that she felt no pain.  She could tell Tantrum was doing something to her by the way she wobbled on the table.  Tantrum was obviously concentrating very hard on the task she was performing, her brow was furrowed and her tongue jutted comically out the side of her mouth.

After a minute of work, Tantrum took a step back and admired her work.  “You look much better now,” she said in a praising manner.  With that she stepped aside so Agent 69 could see her handy work.

Even though she knew what Tantrum was doing, the sight of the large hole that covered nearly the bottom half of what used to be her face has horrific.  It was not exactly a smile.  The comically cut teeth on the top and bottom looked whimsical, but the expression was nothing less than melancholy.

“Oops, I almost forgot,” Tantrum said with a touch of surprise in her voice.  She snapped her fingers and a small light flickered into existence inside Agent 69’s gaping maw.  The source was obviously from a small wax candle.

Agent 69’s mind raged against her predicament, but she was powerless to do anything about it.

Tantrum then grabbed the green stem that emerged from the top of Agent 69’s head and slowly carried her to the large double doors that led the balcony beyond.  

“Holy shit, she’s going to drop me off the balcony!” Agent 69 screamed silently to herself.

Tantrum rotated Agent 69 so they could see each other eye to eye.  “I hope you don’t squash anyone,” she said with a laugh.

Then a voice that came from nowhere and everywhere at once said, “What do you think you’re doing young lady?”

Tantrum looked visibly shaken by the unseen rebuke.  “Nothing,” she meekly responded.

“You weren’t going to drop her off that edifice, causing her to explode in a mass of pulp, were you?” the voice said rather than asked.

The thought of her body splattering all over the street below nearly caused her to faint, if she could still do that in her vegetative state.

“But mommy, she didn’t follow the rules,” Tantrum whined.  “When I say “Trick or treat” she was supposed to give me candy.  If she doesn’t, I’m supposed to play a trick on her.  Those are the rules.”

“Well young lady, I’m sure the rules don’t include the termination of life forces,” the voice scolded.

“Yes ma’am,” Tantrum said sadly.

“Now put your costume back on and go about your Halloween antics,” The voice commanded.

She couldn’t explain how she knew, but the next time the voice spoke, Agent 69 knew that it was speaking directly to her this time.

“I’m sorry about my daughter,” the voice said calmly.  “She’s young and takes things a bit too far.”

“No kidding,” Agent 69 thought to herself.

“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” the voice asked.

“All I wanted to do was go to my party,” Agent 69 thought to herself.

Then the world around her shifted and changed.  Agent 69 was no longer in her penthouse, but in a large ballroom decorated for a Halloween party.  She tried to move, but was still unable.  Several people dressed in various costumes passed by and pointed in her direction.

“Agent 69 is really going to be pissed when she sees this,” a woman dressed like Martha Stewart in a prison uniform commented.

“Yeah,” a man dressed like a vampire agreed.  “But you gotta admit, whoever did the carving really captured her look.”

The small group shared a knowing laugh as they continued on with their partying.

Then a woman dressed as a medieval queen in flowing robes stopped and leaned in close to get a better look at the decoration.  “Looks like you found the source of the interdimensional breach 69,” Dominique Fortune said with a wry smile.  

“Enjoy the party,” she said happily as she wandered off, leaving Agent 69 to watch the celebration in mute silence.