We sang together, I had no time to be scared or nervous. It was quiet like the eye of a storm, I saw people wipe tears from their eyes, until we finished, and the storm broke loose in full. People were cheering so loud, the floor was shaking. I heard the Lola song from multiple corners. Then Noreen was hugging me, followed by the rest of the band. The owner of the pub came at us, tears in her eyes. You are always welcome here, she said, I love to hear you sing more often. She wanted to pay me, but I declined. Save it for the orphanage, I said, I know they need it.



After that I was promised free food and drinks for life. I laughed, clearly not aware how special we had sounded. When Ian took me in his arms, he said, I didn't know you could sing, at which I replied, me neither.



At the end of the evening I was tired but I had promised Noreen I'd stay. She told me to come an hour early the next day to her apartment which was real close to the dance studio, and we'd practice more. Then she hugged me again, telling me I'd be a sensation.



Ian drove me back home. He was clearly anticipating taking me to his place, but I told him I wasn't ready yet for more than kissing, and in some way he actually appreciated that. His goodbye kiss in the car took five minutes and it left me breathless. Again. Then he made sure I got inside the building, stealing one more kiss.



Carla was waiting for me in our room. In one look she got things right, but she smiled as I told her everything, literally everything. She chuckled at my new license and was amazed when I sang part of the song I had performed. I explained how confused things were. With Ian I was 100% girl, but with Carla there was still a piece of boy in me. And both were in love. I needed her now more than anything and she understood. I was safely tucked in her arms when we finally fell asleep.



My first official singing lesson started with fifteen minutes of reading Gaelic song texts. For some incredible reason I could pronounce it exactly like Noreen did, and when I read a piece all by myself out loud, I got most of the meaning. She did ask a bit about my relationship with Ian, but for a big part I was honest, telling her I was not ready yet for more than just kissing and enjoying each other, which satisfied her curiosity. Other than that, she acted as the best big sister I could ever have.



Singing gave me a similar satisfaction as the dancing. It was just more personal, apart from the few duets that we practiced. When you sing solo, any mistake is your own, but I found I loved it more and more. What is the chance you have a talent, a super power, you never knew you had?



It got me thinking. None of this would have happened had I still been a boy. Singing with my voice as a boy would freak out people. And all the dancing I did worked because I let myself being lead, as the girl I am. I wouldn't have Carla's love, or Ian's love, or Noreen's big sister love, or Gemma's best friend friendship. And neither would my popularity in the school be as it is right now. I reacted automatically to the name Lola, and the other day when someone yelled Brian to another guy, it took me a minute to realize I had not reacted myself to that name, not even glanced up to see who had the same name.



There was really nothing that made me want go back to being the small boy I was. In heels I was most of the times three inches taller and I really didn't want to lose that. Even in my dreams I was Lola, and I was planning my future as Lola. I just hadn't told my parents yet. My dad would not be surprised, as he had always already called me as strong as a girl. I think my mom would love it even, having a daughter. I just needed to be sure before I could tell them...



Lola? Lola, you're still with me?

I looked in Noreen's laughing face. She had left for a minute to get something, and I had started day dreaming. She had a dress in her hand that looked very much like what the other girls were wearing in the dance studio. It had been hers, before she'd grown out of it. And if it fit me, it would be mine, she promised. It was a perfect fit, like everything else had been going my way lately. There were shoes as well that fit perfectly but also lifted me up more than three inch. I hugged her as the sister she was becoming to me, and she changed as well, getting ready for dance practice.



I had not been able to tell Gemma what had happened the night before. Just a short message that she had to come here by herself. I knew she wouldn't be jealous of my new dress, but she'd also wonder how she could get one herself. And luckily, Brody had a sister and she had a spare dress that would probably fit Gemma. Minutes later we were both dressed like the rest of the group, and I promised I'd tell everything that had happened on our way home. It was enough for her, and when the dancing started we could think of nothing else.



But when Noreen started to sing, as part of one scene, I managed to tell Gemma it was Ian's sister. And my singing instructor. She was surprised but there was no time for questions as Noreen wanted me to sing with her. There was plenty of clapping as several members had heard us sing the night before. The rest was stunned in silence as they heard us sing together.



The director invented a new scene on the spot, where we would first sing against each other, before finally joining into the duet together. It worked, and the emotion when we finally joined forces brought many to tears. This was going to work.



Gemma's face was priceless. I didn't know you could sing, she said. Neither did I, I replied, I only found out last night. On our way back to the dorm I told her everything, including the lesson I had before with Noreen. Gemma was extremely excited for me, like a BFF should.



The next week was more of the same. Gemma and I double dated a few times with Brody and Ian. We took her to the Irish pub, where I sang another two songs with Noreen. And slowly, Ian and I became closer.