"911. What is your emergency?"
"Yes. I want to report a drunken - OUCH - driver. I'm right behind him. Swerves all across the road."
"Thank you! From your phone's location I can tell where you are. We'll send a police unit out. Can you describe the car?"
"Sure. It's one of those - DONK - sportsy cars, like a non-SUV. Red of course - DINK -."
"Very well sir. Are you okay? I hear all kind of..."
"Oh thanks - OUCH - not sure. Unless I can report the condition of the road to you as well? I mean, there's potholes just everywhere! - CRACK -"
"Eh. Condition noted. I'll pass it on to the proper authorities. Thanks again sir! - Click - Moron!!"