On the bridge of the USS Enterprise, a familiar scene unfolded.

"Captain, we are receiving a distress signal from a civilian transporter, the Patch Velocipede," Lieutenant Commander Data reported.

"And we are of course the only ship in the area as usua-" Picard began.

"Pardon me, Captain, but sensors show at least seventeen other Starfleet vessels in range, six of them far closer than ours," Data clarified.

"...Are you sure?" Commander Riker asked.

"Yes, Commander."

"Oh. Well then... This is awkward," Picard said.

"...What do we do now, Sir?"

"I... honestly have no idea, Number One. This scenario is unprecedented...."