The unicorn wore a black bodysuit adorned with obvious but effective repair work, an eyepatch, and a long unkempt mane. She also wore a blank look that nonetheless radiated contempt for the two other unicorn mares before her. They were almost identical, wearing crisp suits, sunglasses even indoors, and neatly-trimmed short manes. Only the colouration of their coats marked them apart, red and blue.

"You know why you are here?" The red one asked

"I can guess." The unicorn responded.

"Try us." The blue prompted.

"You want me to do something for you. Something you can't risk anyone important on."

"Correct." One of them said. She didn't care which.

"Well, something for the good of Equestria can go buck itself. I've no loyalty to what calls itself Equestria now..."

"We're not Equestrian, and we know you and the present de facto government are not friends. We have no expectations you'll be doing this out of the generosity of your heart for us, to be brutally honest. If you can get this done, you will be paid. You're not our prisoner..." Red cut in.

"I'm not? So what was the whole busting into my place with a dozen blacksuits and then dragging me here? Fun and games, a little laugh before we got to business?"

"Merely for the look of things. Ponyville is not a place where openly associating with us is always a good thing. We had to remove you without attracting the wrong kind of attention. "  Blue clarified.

"I wondered why most of them were griffins."

"And now you know."

Red then produced a file, but held it above the desk for a few moments.

"Before we begin though, I'd like you to confirm a few things. What is your name?"

"You know my name." The unicorn one sighed.

"Just answer." Blue ordered.

"...Plissken."

"Interesting. Which meaning did you pick it for? It could be the Zebra word for Magic. Maybe it's Buffalo for Serpent, what with your snakelike charm. Or maybe the old Unicornian word for... Oh, now what was it that it meant in old Unicornian." Red smirked.

Plissken gave no answer or reaction.

"Irrelevant ultimately.  As I said, we're not Equestrian. All we need is to know what you'll answer to in conversation. But what of in your deeds? We asked your name, now let's see. Name your price." Blue smiled.

The unicorn gave her a quizzical look.

"What's the job?"

Red dropped the file, and opened it to remove a picture.

"This is the Isle of Catrina. It's barely four kilometeres square. So small it's not on most maps, but it's where the self-styled Empress of Scootland and Ierne lives. She's the most powerful warlord in the North, and she's halfway to making her title true."

"I know of her. Queen Cadence of Ierne is not a fan of her work, what with the whole trying to conquer her homeland vibe. So, what's the point?"

Blue spoke now.

"Last night, she launched an attack on the Queen's palace. The Queen and Crown Prince gave themselves up to spare their children."

Plissken gave little in the way of a visual response but spoke nonetheless.

"How noble of them. How many of their servants died before that? Don't answer, I'm guessing it's double figures. And so am I right that the two royal pains are stuck on Catrina island, surrounded by the Imperials now?"

"Correct. As for casualties, we don't know." Red answered.

"What do you know?"

"If we move in ourselves, the only real option at this time other than you, we stand a thirty percent risk of a mission failure and an almost total chance of casualties in the low hundreds, not to mention drawing our forces officially into the action. President Hummel wishes to avoid that at all costs. And that's where you come in."

"I see. So, you're going to happily give me what I want if I can give you what Hummel wants... Rescue a pair of pampered idiots, and I bet you want me to kill the Empress if I can?"

"If possible. The problem lies in the fact no one knows what she looks like."  Red began.

"The Empress is an enigma. We've no idea what species she is, but she claims to be an Alicorn. A true Alicorn, not just a winged unicorn like the Queen..." Blue trailed off

"In her defence she never claimed to be anything more than that. Not that I enjoy defending her."

"But nonetheless, the facts are we can't give you anything on the Empress. She's secondary. So is the Crown Prince, in a manner of speaking. Queen Cadence is the last, best hope for a unified Equestria that is... favourable to our goals. We need her alive" Red reminded her.

Plissken snorted again.

"You mean everyone else either has aspirations of world dominations, is Fraternist, Harmonist, or Lunarian? She's the only one that ticks all those boxes the middle class griffins like in a neighbour? Rich, powerful, pretty trophy husband, handful of bratty-slash-darling kids, in charge of over half the country.... I honestly thought you would have learned from the Zebralands but fifteen years later, and it's ten times worse than what you managed in all the time over there. Good job. How'd that work out, or should we ask the Unified Empire of Sphinxes?"

"I'm glad to see you keep abreast of foreign politics. Past mistakes aside you know the job now. What's the price?" Blue pressed again.

"You want me to infiltrate probably the most dangerous spot in all of Scootland, to rescue two ponies I have no love lost with. And I'm free to name my price. What's the cost though? What does the Empress want?"

"Astute of you. Her demands are very simple. She wants Scootish and Iernian independence from Equestria recognised, and she also wants the bodies of Celestia and Luna. Oh, and some money, so many billions but honestly money is never a major goal in these sorts of things. Except to mercenaries."

Once more Plissken had no reaction.

"Good luck with the second last one. They took themselves with Discord."

"Yes, some nasty side effects from it all. The Elements of Harmony all vanished with them, almost every pony in Ponyville instantly and permanently petrified by all that magic backwash, only a hoof-full still alive... Of course, you won't have been there. None of the survivors ever spoke about what happened. Just stories one pony walked away from it all and never looked back." Blue mused.

"Stories indeed. Whatever happened, that's all in the past. The point is, they gave you impossible demands. How do you fill them?"

"We don't. They gave us three days, after that, they start sending the crown prince back to the Equestrians, one part at a time. Six hours have passed, so you'll have two days by the time we get you in." Red said.

"Maybe they'll start with his penis to save on the postage so you'll pay the money. The rates for the Royal Mail must be insane in warzones so a small package would be the best to send first." Plissken noted.

"Perhaps. But that's all we can tell you."

"Impossible demands, meaning they want to be attacked. The Empress seeks to reveal herself to a large Griffin army, or hopes you jumped the gun and went in hooves flying to provoke an even bigger war. Elegant in a way.

"Quite. So, what's the price?" Blue asked.

"...I want you to obtain every single so-called Statue of Ponyville that's found a way into the hands of those ghouls that call themselves art collectors. Even the fakes."

"And I expect some money too?"

"Yes, but money is never a major goal in these things except to mercenaries."

"You are a mercenary." Blue noted.

"Oh yes. Seventy-five hundred thousand, and a safe house somewhere secure in your country then. Liberty City would be most agreeable."

"Done. Now, equipment. We can get you in easily enough with a submarine now we actually have some... "

"All of them formerly Equestrian." Plissken noted.

"...but we would prefer a deniable operation. We can replace your camouflage suit..."

"No. This one has some special spells programmed into it. Besides, you want deniable, a fresh new Griffin issue suit is hardly covert if I'm caught. I assume weapons will be older?"

"Old, but well maintained. How does a Danny sound?"

"Ingram 10? Sound suppressor, I should hope. Otherwise it sounds very loud. And difficult to aim."

"It'll have a scope. We'll even mount it on a side your eye can use. A Falcon P-1911 for a sidearm. Also suppressed. Flares and a radio to contact us for extraction. Knives and the like. I doubt you want half an armoury for this job. And a hoofwatch so you can keep track of time. We'll explain it more when you see the stuff and the detailed plan."

Plissken nodded.

"Let me inspect the goods first, then let's get going. Oh, what happens if I shoot the Crown Prince in the plot?"

Red shrugged.

"Frankly, we don't really care if you put one in his head. One less pony to carry out of there."