Saturday Evening
Haruhi was unusual, a fact well known to her parents. She remained their daughter, and some slight eccentricities were not such a huge problem. She was merely not like other girls.
So when she entered the house one Saturday evening pale as a sheet, looking a million miles away her father still knew this was not normal. Something was wrong.
"Haruhi? Are you okay?"
She turned to look at him.
"...Yeah. I just had a shock, Dad. I'll be in my room..."
He'd leave her for now. Trying to have her explain the problem now would just make things worse.
Dimly in her mind she knew she'd already denied it. She'd known it couldn't be anything but true and still she had denied it and refused to believe it. She was sure she understood it was real now, but she wasn't sure she'd stopped denying it.
And now she was angry. Angry at whatever had caused this, angry at faulty brakes, angry at some faceless idiot who probably was feeling every ounce of guilt Haruhi hoped existed in the world. Angry at her friend for whatever had put them in such a position. Angry at fate. Angry at being powerless to have done anything.
But that was all she could really do. Anger was in now. Even so she cursed being rational today, even if someone would deny she could ever be rational. She cursed it because knew she had nothing to bargain with even though she would try. Depression would be a certainty eventually. All of it was pointless, she knew.
Drifting up the stairs and into her room, she sat on her bed for a moment before something caught her eye. A picture on the dresser. Her brigade, her friends, smiling. A picture that held that smile forever. Smiles that might never be the same for lack of one present.
A long look at it ensued. There was Kyon, looking like he was forcing the smile when he wasn't. There was Mikuru, nervous as always in front of any camera even for something like this. Yuki, with the worlds best poker face that only her close friends could read, and reading the picture showed she was grinning like a loon... in Nagato Yuki terms at least. Koizumi with his too-false smile for real just this once. The underclassmen members of the brigade, Takeru giving Kyon a run for his money in the pretending to fake a smile department, Hikari genuinely smiling like a loon plain for all to see. A mirror of Haruhi's own smile in the middle.
Despite her best efforts her eyes kept drifting to one smile she'd never see again. A thing precious to her. Blotted out. Destroyed. Annihilated.
She knew she was selfish. She knew she was bossy.
She knew that wishing the universe to obey her and just bring back her friend was a waste of time. She knew this was something that would never listen to her. She knew the universe didn't work that way.
She knew though that she had to try, even though when it failed she'd feel worse.
She knew throwing the photo down had been a mistake. She knew stifling a sob and trying to pick it up right away had been a mistake. She knew there was another copy of the photo out there somewhere, she could just ask... someone else for it.
Especially since fate had been cruel enough for that one tiny drop of blood to land right there on the picture. Of all seven smiling faces, it sought out just the right one.
She'd went to clean the cut, and decided to stop hiding what was wrong before her parents decided to confront her with it. They'd been upset as well. They knew all her friends. They would share her loss.
She knew they'd be there for her. Just like she'd have to be there for the other five of her brigade members. For the family of the one they'd lost.
She knew as she went to bed that night if she ever slept she'd think it all a dream until the truth came back. She knew she didn't want that.
She knew that the universe just didn't care.
Friday Afternoon
It had felt strange today. A sense of deja-vu, and as she'd walked into the brigade room it had felt so nice to see everyone smile.
Nice to see Kyon wave at her nonchalantly before putting Koizumi into check. Nice to see Takeru greet her. Nice to see Kari's happy smile. Nice to see Yuki raise her eyes from her book. Nice for Mikuru to bow and say hello. Nice for Koizumi to smile even as he lost another game to Kyon.
It was strange. It felt nice to just sit down in the room with all her friends. And she'd kept staring at one of her brigade members. Well, not staring. Just taking quick glances. A strange feeling like something had been wrong but was right now.
"Is there something wrong?"
Haruhi shook her head.
"No. Everything's fine."
A pleased smile was the response.
"Good to know. You looked like you had something on your mind."
Haruhi somehow connected that smile to a picture in her room. She didn't know why.
Still. She did know something. As strange as things felt, it was nice to see that smile for some reason.
She didn't know why it was nice.
She didn't care why, to be honest.