I'm not sure if this is going to be really easy to understand to some people, but I guess it's easier to just start off from the beginning.

My name is Hikari Kamiya (though everyone calls me Kari), and I admire someone. Well, I admire a lot of people. That kind of admiration though is respect. Like how I admire my mother's determination to eventually cook something edible someday, the way my brother never gives up, but that's not what I mean.

This person I admire, I respect him, but I guess it's gone beyond admiring. From when I first met him he was always a friend when I needed him and he could be there. He's faced his own troubles, and he's shared troubles with me. When I've had my problems he had been there as well. And he still faces his own.

The problem is, I want to face that problem with him. I want to help him, be there for him. But I know how afraid he is of what's going on, and I know this is how he's dealing with it, trying not to burden others with the problem too much.

I kind of wish he'd be a little more courageous and realise that I'm willing to be here for him, but I can't. You see, I should really be a lot more courageous myself.

I should tell him exactly how I feel. How I've felt since... I don't know exactly when. But at some point my best friend became someone I wanted to be more than just a best friend. What I want though, is something I'm worried he's afraid of. What's happening to him is barely understood by us, and all we know is it's not a risk to anyone's life.

Tonight though, I'm going to try to at least let him know that I want to help him more, that I want to support him. Even if I wimp out and try to make that confession into just an attempt to be more of a friend to him instead of what I really want, that's my objective.

Truth told, I'm terrified if I move too far too fast, I'll ruin it all. Everything we had before. Everything we have now, everything we could have.

And I'm aware that "too far, too fast" might be the wrong phrase when talking about something that's taken me years to even dare consider going halfway on.

I've admitted it to myself already. I want to help him, and I want to be there for him.

That's me halfway... Just to admit the other half to me at least. Should be easier than admitting to him.

I don't want him to be my best friend any more. Not just my best friend.

I want my relationship with Takeru Takaishi to be more than friends.

Okay, now I just need to tell him some of that... And I need to remember to balance the fact I'm not some little girl with a crush and say the childish L-word phrase that is "I like you", on top of the fact he will freak out if I say the other L-word phrase. Even if after at least three years of these feelings just getting stronger and stronger, I'm certain it's the truth.

He already knows I know his problem. He knows I don't care... Well, that I'm not alarmed by it, but that I'm worried for him and I support him. But I want him to know that no matter what it could mean for me... for us I wouldn't care. All the complications it would cause now and in the future, all the possible risks

But in the end the most important fact is I want to do anything for him. Even if it's to deny that truth for the sake of saving our friendship.

This is going to be the hardest night of my life. Again. And that's assuming he decides to stay here and not somewhere else. It's a full moon tonight and he was at Daisuke's last month, so my chances are good of having an attempt possible.

***

I wondered why I never did this before.

It's obvious now I think back about it. When I change, I get bigger. My clothing doesn't. So, I have to remove it or lose it.

But clothing that stretches out and can tolerate being bigger? Goodbye to Takeru Takashi reverting in his birthday suit after a night of being a were-renamon, hello... tightness around the crotch and a worryingly large amount of pressure on my legs.

Okay, so it was just a first attempt, and I needed to try bigger cycle shorts or something. And I also guess as I get older and I get bigger as a human, then eventually I'll be a little closer to the size I become when I change so the gap won't be so big.

I'd rather not face up to the fact I'll spend the rest of my life turning into a yellow fox Digimon but planning ahead for something small that could be a big change to dealing with this is worthwhile I guess.

The trouble I had at the time though was that idea would be amusing to a lot of people, so, I guessed I'd better go to the people who'd laugh least. Daisuke was out, plus the fact I was more than sure that other people there might be enjoying the look too much at that time. Koushiro was out too, he'd have come up with his own ideas that would have wound up making me abandon the whole plan.

I figured at the time that left the Kamiyas. I reasoned Tai ought to just connect the idea to how he kept his legs warmer playing Soccer during winter, by wearing a pair of shorts like this under his kit. And Kari... Well, I fugured, she'll snicker but she'll understand. She always does.

Of course, it hadn't worked yet. I was a little paranoid of rips, and hoping the shorts hadn't been stretched out too much so they fit human-me in the morning. And as I made my way to the destination,  I was noticing things feeling a little hot.

I was also thinking maybe I should try change the colour to something blending with my fur more. Black kind of stands out when the rest of you is bright yellow...

The door was out to avoid attention from anyone wandering around inside the apartment building, so I went for the window. Kari's window to be precise. Her window is usually unlocked, so I can just hop in. I'm never loud, but she always hears me. I can't even blame Gatomon, she spends most nights wandering around the rooftops if Kari has homework or a friend over (And it is her "fault" the window is left unlocked too). Tonight's no different. No Digi-kitty in sight, and Kari's head turned as I'm swinging in. Just a semi-normal night, just a new idea, and then hopefully something making things easier in the end.

"Hi." I said. She stared, and I knew she was looking at the shorts.

She turned away from me, and I had to hand it to her, she was good at suppressing her chuckles. If that's what she was doing, of course.

"Um... Hi..." She eventually replied.

"Yeah, I know, it looks kinda goofy, but... Think about it. In the morning, these should still be on me! I mean, obviously I'll still sleep in Tai's room but..." I said, then realised she was a little distracted.

"Sorry, Takeru, just... Just thinking about something. How's your plan working?" She said when I trailed off, and I saw her cheeks were a little red from what I had thought was holding the laughter in.

Of course, that was a snag. How is your plan working, asks my friend.

Daisuke is the friend, so, it's easy.

"Little tight around the crotch. And really kinda warmer than I expected."

However, friend for years or not, Kari is still a girl, I reasoned. Answering along those lines is downright rude...

"Working out so far. Might need to thing things through more..." I said.

"Let me guess, warm from the trapped fur? And I'm betting you might have them a size too small?"

Hopefully the size too small part wasn't visually obvious. Well, it wouldn't be, the Renamon has different
anatomy to the Human me... Well, different placements. Some things are stored differently if you get me.

"And cutting the tail hole was a pain. Getting it just right to have the tail grow out of it..." I joked. She sighed.

"You haven't cut a tail hole at all. That might be the problem. Your tail blocked pulling them up at the back so you pulled them too far at the front." She said.

I hadn't even thought of that.

"Ah... Um, can you look away while I try adjust them then?" I asked. And then she finally laughed.

"Takeru, you realise you're embarrassed about adjusting your shorts in front of me but you're never too bashful about the fact you routinely walk in here not wearing any clothes at all?"

I had frozen in place and felt my cheeks get red hot with embarrassment looking back on that fact.

She stood up to peer out of the window though.

"Go ahead, though. I'll just look  out the window."

I adjusted, and I heard the sound of the window locking. I was a little puzzled.

"Why did you lock it?" Like I said, she usually left it open for Gatomon.

"Gatomon wasn't planning to come back in tonight by the window. If she changes her mind she can knock."

She seemed to be moving herself around me, but I didn't take much notice of that.

"Look, Takeru... I have to tell you something. I... I admire you." She said. She was looking down at her feet nervously.

"Uh, thanks... I respect you as well..." I tried to reply.

"And... I want you to know that I'm here. I'm willing to do more to help you out and support you..."

I was nervous now. Kari seemed guilty about something, I'd thought. I was worried she'd maybe took it onto her conscience that she wasn't doing enough to help me or something.

"It... it's okay, Kari, if I need you I'll ask... You are my friend, right? I trust you..." I tried to calm her down before there was a problem. I figured if I told her she was offering something I already took maybe she'd be okay?

She seemed a little relieved.

"Okay. Good. I'm glad you understand that part..." She said, but seemingly more to herself than me.

She took a deep breath.

"And... I... I want to be there without you asking. I want to... I want to be more than just your friend. I want you to do a little more than trust me..."

I felt paralysed at that. I knew what she was saying. She liked me.

Well, I knew that. What am I, twelve?

The trouble was, I kind of had considered trying that myself. Once, when I was twelve in fact. I had been planning on saying something like that. Then a Renamon bit me and I became even more afraid of what that kind of confession could entail.

And all I'd really done was deny the wish to make that confession, justifying it with the problems. Even if she did say yes, what might happen? I mean, it seems odd to think about it but what about the future? Would I have made her into something like me if I bit her? Or even if I kissed her? I don't know if my condition is contagious like that...

And then I realised why she had locked the window and I felt more than a little trapped. She seemed to realise her mistake in locking it when I replied.

"Um... Kari, I... I need to think about this..." I said, and I glanced at the door. Before I even knew it, I was trying to leave the room. And Kari was trying to block me.

Neither of us had planned it, it was just reflexive. I was panicking to escape, and she was panicking thinking she had scared me.

We crashed into each other, and after a few nasty bumps and a tangle of limbs, my escape was thwarted. I groaned, Kari yelped a little. I tried to stand up, and then I realised I tasted something like iron in my mouth. I thought I had bit my tongue, and then I remembered.

As a Digimon, I had no blood. It was data, in a way. It might look like blood to human eyes, but it's just a red fluid. It doesn't taste of iron. Blood does.

Like human blood. Like you get if you have razor sharp teeth and accidentally bite someone's arm.

It wasn't the worst wound in the world in terms of actual damage. Just a couple of little punctures with a small amount of blood, but the implications were the worst.

Kari was glancing at it in confusion. And I felt a chill run up my spine.

A normal animal bite, you worry about tetanus, rabies, or whatever. I doubted I carried that.

But it was a bite that got me like this. And I have no idea if a bite from me has the same effects. It might have been no other Renamon bite had ever caused someone to be like me that I knew of, but I was no other Renamon, and I had never bit anyone before.

And all I could do was stare in terror...

***

I thought it had all gone as wrong as I feared. I made him panic. I shouldn't have locked the window... I thought I had ruined it and changed things in a way I hadn't planned. And I was terrified. I thought I had just lost everything I had because I went too fast. I barely even realised what I was doing as I tried to block him escaping. By the time I was thinking of trying to just let him pass or apologise or something we'd crashed into each other.

And in the tangle, I felt a short pain in my arm, something stabbing in. I looked down and saw two small cuts. Barely a bite, and they didn't hurt that much after the actual event.  I glanced up for a second at Takeru and I saw his blue fox-eyes widen in panic.

I was about to apologise and try to salvage the situation when I felt a tingling sensation. I felt warm too, and I saw to my surprise the two cuts were healing over, just before I felt the tingle become pain. I gasped, and Takeru seemed paralysed.

I felt a horrible sensation next, like bones were breaking, and my whole body was on fire. I'd closed my eyes and I wasn't even able to scream until I felt furred hands trying to pin me down as I was writhing on the floor.

"Don't fight it, Kari! It hurts if you fight it!" He said, sounding terrified. I realised as I tried to calm down a little that half the shaking was him. I breathed, and the pain went away as I tried not to resist whatever was happening.

I could hear my heart pumping, hear my breathing as I got it under control, and I could hear Takeru as he muttered to himself over and over. I couldn't make much out but I knew he was freaking out.

"Takeru... Don't worry..." I said, and felt the other changes starting.

Instead of breaking and burning I felt a gentle liquid shift as my body rearranged. I was getting bigger and I could already hear my growing body causing strain on my clothes. My jaw was lengthening, I felt my fingers merging, my chest growing fur and something else a little larger (though it's usually hidden by the mane, I should point out) and my hips getting wider.

It was odd. I noticed how the sounds began echoing a little, and for a few seconds I couldn't breathe and panicked again, causing more pain. Takeru calmed me again as I realised I was breathing, but by now my ears had also moved up my head and yellow or white fur was growing over my body.

I heard something tearing. My shorts were gone, and then glancing down I saw my shoes burst open, clawed feet ripping open my socks as well. White fur was growing on them and glancing at my hands I was surprised to see purple sleeves or gloves had appeared from nowhere. Then I felt something really odd, and a different kind of pain as my tail grew out, right where I had been sitting on it. Takeru rolled me over onto my front and I didn't resist as I felt the relief of my tail popping out unimpeded. It seemed I'd grown enough for it to just push past what remained of my clothes.

I groaned a little as I felt it all seem to end, and looked at Takeru. He was panicking now, and I could see it, so I spoke fast.

"That's what it's like for you all the time?" I asked, then wondered why that was the first thing I said. It didn't help calm him at all, and he tried to flee again.

Unluckily for him, I was faster and he had other parts to grasp now. He yelped when I grabbed his tail and pulled him to the floor with it.

"Ow! That really hurts!" He whined automatically, then must have thought I was angry now.

"...Kari, I... I'm really sorry, I never meant to..."

I raised a finger... claw... whatever, and silenced him.

"Look, I'm not going to lie. This... isn't what I had wanted. Not exactly. But right now I don't want you thinking you've done something horrible to me, or you've hurt me. I'm okay." I said.

It was hard to put into words, so, I grabbed his shoulders to tell him to stay put and listen.

"B-but..." he began.

"No buts, no aplogies. This was an accident and it was my fault for..."

For rushing.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that so fast..." I mumbled.

"Kari, it's okay. I shouldn't have panicked like that but... I was afraid. I really... I really wanted to..." He seemed tense.

"I wanted to say the same things to you. But I didn't think I ever could because of..."

I blinked in confusion then. And then I realised something.

"Well... I guess we've got the same problem now."

Chalk up another reply that I didn't know why it was what I said. The guy I'd confessed to had practically confessed he felt the same, and I say that?

He'd froze up at those words and I saw how stupid they'd been

"I'd wanted to say what you said to you." He blurted out. I let him try to speak. I'd made my confession already.

"But I was worried. I... I didn't know if I'd spread my condition. I guess... I do now..."

"Well, we don't need to worry about that now, right?" I said. He nodded.

"Okay, yeah. If... if you still want we can try be more than friends..."

I felt my heart miss a beat. I'd got what I'd wanted out of it after all.

A few seconds later I'd come out of my daze clutching my snout. Takeru seemed a little in pain too.

"...Okay, I think next time you try to kiss me we watch the snouts..." He muttered.

"Sorry, not used to this..." I mumbled back. He sighed.

"That's an understatement. Neither am I. I... I need to let you know what I know about this. And... Oh god, Tai's going to kill me isn't he?"

"If he hurts you I'll bite him." I joked.

"I guess we can worry about that later, but for now... Uh... I think we need to solve some things with the idea I had before morning..."

"Like what?" I said, then remembered.

My clothes. Oops.

I glanced down at my body. A normal female Renamon for all appearances, apart from the ragged remains of my shirt and shorts. My underwear was still on, but a little torn. It seemed my bra had burst as things inside got too big for it, and it was lying amongst some other scraps of the clothes.

I decided to cut the clothing away quickly. It was all wrecked anyway. Takeru looked away.

"Okay, so... any ideas?"

"We need to get stretchy clothes for you too I guess..."

On the bright side though, I was a little smaller than him still... I had wider hips and, er, a larger chest from the feel of things, but the mane I had was smaller and he had more muscle structure for his upper torso, plus I had slimmer shoulders. I thought for a moment and had an idea.

I raided my wardrobe, and found what I wanted. A little tight, but I managed to pull on another pair of shorts and a loose shirt.

Takeru just stared, then slapped his head.

"Loose! Why the hell didn't I think of LOOSE?!" He wailed.

"Ah... You're right. It just needs to cover up in the morning, doesn't it. Like a stretchy waistband and a button up shirt..."

"God, I'm such an idiot..."

I went over to him, to Takeru. To the boy I admired. I tried to kiss him again and managed to turn sideways to do it. Not quite how I'd really envisioned it, but it made him do a nice little freeze of confusion when I spoke next.

"I know. That's why I admire you."

He chuckled.

"Gee, thanks..."

So by that point I knew I had what I wanted, sort of. I was going to be supporting Takeru, no longer my best friend but now my boyfriend, with his problem. He'd support me with mine. We were going to deal with it together like I had hoped and we were going to be together like I dreamed.

So, considering I was facing turning into a fox every month now, things were actually pretty good, to be honest. There were problems ahead, like my family, but I had a feeling that I knew what they'd do. They'd be alarmed for a minute then realise it was okay with me. Not what I had wanted as such, but they'd known how I had felt about Takeru. They'd come round if they didn't accept it, and I was sure that my dad and brother would probably just give Takeru the normal "if you hurt her we hurt you" threat all dads and brothers give to boyfriends. But we'd deal with that together.

Plus, if you ask me, I make a really cute fox. Not the cutest though. The cutest one bit me.

But things were looking a lot better than they could have been. It was out of the ordinary at first, but in just five minutes or so it all felt normal enough for me.