yuffie's first efforts at materia hunting had not gone well. she had thought that simply earning money and buying it would work. it didn't. materia was expensive. then she thought simply looking for mako springs and getting natural materia would work. natural springs had all been built on by reactors.

then she decided to just steal it from people. she figured hiding in forests and ambushing passers-by would work. anyone going into a forest on foot would have materia surely?

'gawd, how long does it take for someone to pass by?' she asked herself. she had been sitting in this tree for hours it seemed. maybe everyone avoided forests in junon.

finally, someone approached. a scrawny looking guy on his own. she would beat him easily!

'hand over your materia!' she said, jumping down. the man simply grinned.

'like this one?' he said, holding up a green materia.

'uh, yeah?' yuffie said, weapons ready. then the man used the materia.

'what the...' yuffie said. she was shrinking and turning green!

'you're obviously new at this. you don't even recognise a transform materia.' the man said.

'croak?' yuffie asked.

'now, i'm sure you don't like being a frog. and i'm sure you don't want to be one for the rest of your life. so, how about you agree to hand all your valuables over, whatever they are, and i'll turn you back? then you can go and get some lessons on being a bandit.'

'ribbit!' she said. the bandit turned her back. yuffie quickly grabbed the materia from him before he could react.

'maybe you should get lessons!' she said. the man croaked in dismay.

~~~~~

having stolen all of his materia and money, she turned him back from a distance and quickly outran him. she had been inspired by the trick, and though she had to be honest that it was pretty weird, it would get her materia if she did it. because she'd do it right. but for now, back to the trees...

'here we go again.' she sighed less than five minutes later. she wasn't going to waste good stealing energy on looking for people to rob, but she was bored. maybe she should buy a book to read next time.

thirty minutes.

'maybe i could go to town, get a book and come back?' she wondered.

an hour. something was coming. just a monster. she sighed and turned it into a frog. the surprised monster croaked and hopped away.

an hour fifteen minutes.

'i wonder if i can sleep in a tree with one eye open.'

an hour forty five minutes

'should have gone and bought that book...'

two hours. two men and a woman were approaching. the woman had long blonde hair, wore a green jacket and grey trousers. one man had black hair and what looked like an old shinra uniform. the other man also had black hair, but was wearing a long trenchcoat. she waited. she let them pass under, not seeing her. she jumped, casting. the woman yelled out, shrinking down to twelve inches high. before she was even completely shrunken, yuffie grabbed her and leap back onto a branch.

'lucille!' the trenchcoated man yelled. the man in the old shinra uniform tried to go for a gun as lucille squirmed in the grasp of the wutaian ninja.

'ah ah ah. one wrong move and your tiny friend will get her head pulled off.' yuffie threatened. the man in the shinra uniform backed down.

'what do you want?' the man in the old shinra uniform asked.

'materia and money. any you have, put it down, step back. i'll take it away, and then let her go.'

'lucille? what do you want to do?' the man in the trenchcoat asked.

'do what she says. i don't think we have a choice.' the shrunken woman said.

the two reluctantly left their money and materia on the ground. yuffie held the woman tightly in one hand as she stuffed the items away and backed up.

'all right. i'm letting her go now. no funny buisness.' yuffie warned. the second she let the woman go, she shrank the man in the old shinra uniform. before the trenchcoat man responded, he too was shrinking. the tiny travellers soon lost sight of yuffie as the ninja fled, but were surprised to find themselves growing back to normal size.

'damn materia theives.' lucille complained.

~~~~~

she went to a town and purchased a few things for her new tricks with the money stolen from the tiny travellers, including the book she had been wishing she had for the last two hours. it turned out today it was a waste, for she soon ran into another target. a brown haired man dressed in purple trousers and a red shirt. ideal for hiding in a forest. yuffie leapt down and turned the man into a frog. before he could flee, she had him in a glass jar.he croaked in terror

'i bet you don't like this one bit, froggy man. i bet you'd do anything to not be a frog in a jar. give me your money and materia. two croaks for yes, one for i want to be a frog forever.'

'croak croak!' he said. yuffie put the frog down and stepped back. she cast the spell, and kept the materia ready as he turned back.

'no funny buisness now. i don't need a pet frog but i think the monsters here just snap them up.' she warned.

'all i have is money.' he said, throwing his wallet. she caught it with one hand, keeping the materia ready.

'it'll do.' she said, leaping away. the man charged at her, but found himself shrinking. yuffie taunted him from her treebranch.

'next time bring more than just small change!'

she dived away, and hid. the tiny man looked utterly terrified now he was tiny and alone. yuffie tried not to giggle too much as she made him grow again and snuck off.

~~~~~

now she had the knack. another group was coming. a blond man in a blue jumpsuit with a rediculously huge sword, a woman in a pink dress, and a big red... dog? she'd shrink the woman then frog the dog, grab the woman, and have the man at her mercy. she tried that exactly, the man drawing his sword as soon as his companions changed. yuffie moved in to grab the woman, only to get a tiny staff whack her in the face.

'ow, damn!' she cried. yuffie had lost this one, worried that the huge sword would slice her in two before she could shrink the man. she ran off quickly.

'she's long gone.' red xiii said as cloud turned him back. cloud sighed and put his sword away as red cured aeris.

'yeah. i doubt she's much of a threat to anyone.' aeris said.

'so long as she doesn't try any of that on me. i hate being a frog.' cloud grouched.

~~~~~

yuffie eventually found herself in gongaga a few weeks later. she had started mixing her methods, ambushing and stealing, as well as using the hostage taking and the undeniably weird feeling of being transformed into a tiny, slimy creature as options. she was getting good at figuring out what worked where, and had managed to make herself quite a bit of money as well as steal quite a lot of materia. it had been sent back to wutai. she had robbed and ambushed a dozen other groups and individals since then, even holding up a whole squad of shinra soldiers by turning them all into frogs. she hadn't bothered with her customary undoing of the spell in that case, but had been a little annoyed when they had started turning themselves back one by one. then she saw a blond man with a huge sword and a black haired woman wearing... not much, with rediculously huge breasts. and beside them, a rediculously huge man with what looked like a gun for a hand. no dog, no pink lady. she'd take out the men first this time.

cloud and barret were both croaking in surprise before they knew it. tifa swung around as the world grew taller. but cloud and barret were prepared. both of them cured themselves. cloud recognised the girl as the theif from junon

'you again!' he yelled, readying his sword. the girl froze.

'oh gawd.' she squeaked, and ran for her life.

'that the useless theif aeris was talking about?' tifa asked.

'i see what she means. @!@%£ doesn't look like she can tie her shoelaces herself.' barret noted.

'yeah, that was her. do you know where she's running?' cloud asked.

'no. where?'

'right towards that nest of gaghhandis we avoided. i think we should phone aeris and red...'

'gaghhandi?' barret asked.

'you'll see. and so might our friend.'

~~~~~

yuffie stopped running and caught her breath. they'd beaten her again!

'next time i'm not going to hold back! i'm gonna fight!' she tried to tell herself. she sat down.

'who am i kidding, that guy will slice me into ribbons.' she muttered. then she heard the hiss and looked up into a blue lizard's face.

'uh... hi?' she tried weakly. it stood up, eyes glowing. yuffie started running again.

'hah, what a stupid monster. that stare did nothing!' she said. after less than ten seconds she had outpaced it. her limbs felt kind of heavy though. well, she'd just done a lot of sprinting...

'wait, was my skin so grey before?' she wondered. fifteen seconds.

after twenty and she heard crackling, she knew something was very wrong. her skin felt tight and stiff too. her limbs were heavy, and she was feeling cold.

'oh gawd...' she whimpered at twenty five seconds and tried to make herself run. what she did was fall over. she had just managed to get on her hands and knees, and was reaching for a tree branch to pull herself back up when it was over.

~~~~~

yuffie wished she had a book or something. being a statue in the woods was more boring that sitting in a tree.

gawd, yuffie, you idiot, learn what the local wildlife can do next time.

yuffie was just considering first if there would ever be a next time, and if there was, if maybe she could find some use for this predicament she was in during that next time. her thoughts were interruped when a pink dress stood in front of her crouched and petrified form.

uh oh.

'oh, so thats what a gaghhandi does. we gonna smash her now?' barret asked.

i'm gonna be rubble...

'let's give her a chance. she looks young.' red said.

oh yes, listen to the dog...wait, what?! the dog can talk?!

'as much as i want to break her into tiny little chunks, i agree. she might learn her lesson.'  cloud noted.

I don't care what you said, the dog can talk?!

'yeah, sorry, barret, you're outvoted. i don't think we should smash her.' aeris said.

'well, that's four against one.' tifa said.

'i was kidding.' barret said.

'we know. she didn't.' cloud noted. making sure she had no escape route, he used a soft. yuffie's petrified skin became flesh once more, and she stared at her now normal hand and looked at cloud first. then to barret, getting a harsh glare back. then to tifa, and then to aeris. then to red xiii.

'well, what do you have to say?' cloud asked. yuffie was still staring at red.

'...the dog can talk?'

~~~~~

'remind me yuffie, how come despite you trying to rob us twice you've started following us, we haven't just lost it, murdered you and threw you in a lake somewhere?' cloud asked, exasperated, yuffie had once again made another effort to take materia from a shop without paying. red xiii and cloud had been forced to not only pay the shopkeeper but stop him from comitting the very murder cloud was mulling over.

'my sparkling personality, my wit and my charm?' she tried.

'should have left her in the woods a while.' red sighed.

'actually, i joined you because the dog can talk.'

red sighed again.

'i'm not a dog, i'm a lion.'

'fine, the lion can talk!'

it was cloud's turn to sigh.

'yuffie, shut up or i'll staple your mouth shut. '