“So you’re saying you’ll be locked in the crate?”
 
“That’s correct, Sir.  Even if I got untied somehow, I wouldn’t be able to open the door.”
 
“I see.  Yes.  The metal grid on the door is too tight to reach through to operate the lock on the outside of the door.  Yes, that does seem like you’d be locked in.”  Dang straight I’m right.  If there’s one thing I know it’s my rigging…  “But can’t you just kick the door out?  It’s not like it’s a dead bolt.  It’s just those little prongs passing through plastic holes in the crate frame.”  FUUUCkkkkkkk!
 
“Sir, I said I’d be ball tied.  You can’t kick when you’re ball tied.”
 
“TINA.”  Oh shit.  All caps.  I was short with him.  Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.
 
“I am sorry Sir. I was up all night working on this.  And I’m tired.  And I am REALLY trying to make this work with us.”  I crumpled up onto my Alpaca fur “after-care” blanket.  It’s the one Mia told me to snuggle with after training because she couldn’t give me after-care herself.  She told me