Mom came down the stairs just as I was escaping my ropes.

I thought she’d be out longer with her boyfriend.  I was wrong.

She gasped when she saw me.  She thought someone had done this to me.

I watched her face transform from shock, to confusion, to anger.

Time had passed. I waited in my room for mom to come in so we could have the talk.

A soft knock and then the door opened slowly. Mom was going to be gentle.

“Why would you do that.  Why would you want that done to you?”

I covered the pink marks wrapping my wrists left behind by the ropes.

“I don’t know mom,” I lied.  I knew. Of course I knew.

She was fidgeting. She was rubbing her own wrists too. She was as nervous as me.

“You need to stop, OK. It’s dangerous.  It will take you down a bad path.”

She wasn’t looking at me.  She wasn’t really even talking to me.

“Yes mom.   It’s ok. I just wanted to see.  I won’t ever do it again,” I lied.

Mom still stared blankly, not focused on anything.  “Good.” She seemed to wake.

“That’s good.  You know this is wrong.”  Her smile was a weak effort.  And she left.

I could hear her as she shuffled away. “You know it’s wrong.  You know it.”