CATWAR 14

XIX – Right out of the Comics


Palazzo de Fascista, Milano, Italy, April 19th, 1938, 18.30 hours

“Ahh, you must be the famous Cobra! Its an honour to meet you, Freifrau von Richthofen.”
“Thank you, but I am equally honored to meet Marshalla Balbo in person.”
Manuela took instantly a liking to the slender darkhaired italian lady. The Balbo hold several flying records, was credited with building up and modernizing the italian air force, and had organized the building of the Via Balbia in Lybia. Manuela was far from accomplishing anything comparable.
“I saw pictures in the press, but I didnt catch you are so young, Freifrau, and so beautiful.”
“I heard before that you Italians are most charming. What they say seems to be true.”
“Some wine? You Germans are generally into beer, I know.”
“Oh no, I could really use some good wine now.”
Von Richthofen was part of the delegation accompanying the Fuehra on her state visit to fascist Italy. After the abduction crisis, the Reich was seeking good relations with the few nations which still cared to meet with Germans. Italy was among those.
“I hope our two Luftwaffen can develop a tight relationship. You Germans have made very impressing progress the last years. We are especially interested in the concept of the Stuka.”
“Yes, the Stuka is revolutionary. In case of war, they will wreak havoc in enemy lines.”
“I take it you know how to pilot the bird yourself?”
“Naturally. Its most exhilarating. Do you want to try it?”
“If that could be arranged? Do you think there will be war?”
“Germany aims for peaceful relations with its neighbours, but you know the communist danger.”
“Yes, the Sovietas. Well, the Italian Empire has her ambitions made known by our Duca. The decadent western Allies must give us a place at the sun, or we will take it by force.”
“You speak rather freely. Are you ready for a war?”
“To be honest, not on our own. But allied with the mighty Reich...”
“I see. Well, thats up to the politicians. The Fuehra and the Duca seem to get along rather well.”
“I noticed that too. Thats good. But we have to improve relationships on all levels. What have you planned for the evening?”
“Well, as of yet...”
“I will show you the city, and then a restaurant...”
“Sounds promising, Lady Balbo.”
“You will not be disappointed. By the way, these long tresses are most intriguing. Ever thought of wearing your hair open?”


CBS radio, “Tell the truth” show, interview with Moira Chestwick (Rep.), Governoress of California, April 24th, 1938, 20.12 hours

“Look, the so-called Superfrauen have crossed a line here. We cant allow a foreign nation state to run a white slavery enterprise in our America, abducting our gals. You can take isolationism only so far and not beyond. The government had to act, and for once I concur with Lady Roosevelt on the matter.”
“But, Lady Governess, big business is most unhappy with the embargo.”
“Yeah, I know you reportresses think we Reps are all slaves of big business. But no, we have the whole of America to represent and guide, and big business is a part of America, but not more. Only a part, you hear me? And there are issues where business comes second.”
“Mira Landon would say otherwise.”
“Lady Landon had her chance back in 36 and lost. Times are changing. I ask YOU, why did the Germans do this crazy thing? Why are they rearming in so astonishing a pace?”
“You usually said that European affairs are not our business.”
“Yes and no. We cant turn a blind eye  to the developments in the world. Germany and Italy rearming and tightening their relations, Japan on a grand scale robbery in China. Might happen the fascistas took over the world why we were watching the hockey championship. No, it has to interest us. I say, beware. Beware and prepare.”
“Prepare, Lady Governoress?”
“Yes. The Republican party will lobby in congress next week for the new defence programme.”
“Well... thats most astonishing. This proposal contains the building of new super battleships and is most costly.”
“The navy is our first line of defence. These battleships will rule supreme on the seas, and the Japs and Superfrauen will think twice before messing with us.”
“So the republican party has turned away from isolationism?”
“Thats too far. But I repeat it: Beware and prepare!”


“THE FLOWER STRIKES AGAIN IN PARIS”
“The cat burglar known as “The Flower” did it again in Paris last night. Madame Jospine, a well known lady of the society, was ambushed in her home. The Flower, only known as a masked, dark clad figure, overpowered Madame Jospine, her Algerian female companion, her younger sister and two maids, leaving them all bound and gagged behind, while robbing the house of jewellery and some paintings. Again, each helpless victim was adorned with a flower in the hair. Madame Jospine and her companions were only freed in the morning, as the male cook of the house arrived for work.
Its the ninth strike of the “Flower” this year, and her crimes are not limited to Paris, as robberies happened in Calais, Lyon and Marseille too. The police seems to have no clue in the cases...”
Le Monde, French newspaper,  May 11th, 1938


CIA headquarters, Langley, Virginia, May 15th, 1938, 10.06 hours

“Okay, Marcy, Arlene, lets have a summary. Arlene, please, the economic overview.”
Jill settled back in her chair and refrained from taking a cigarette, settling on a chewing gum instead. Arlene Jackson pinned a diagram to the wall.
“Well, as you can see here, the bad girls are making progress. I have designed a reference system, which translates industrial power into so called IC, thats industrial capacity, points. The number left is the actual strength, the number right the base.
So, it looks as follows:
Germany – 225/161
Italy - 88/65
Japan – 140/90
USSR – 304/203
UQ – 140/147
France – 74/87
USA – 90/288

As you can easily see, Germany is as strong as England and France combined. Add to that Italy... Well, the USSR strength is astonishing, but this are only estimates, as its very difficult to obtain reliable information from this madhouse called Soviet Union.”
Jill sighed.
“Yeah, Arlene, they are still killing off their own generals. The Germans could hardly wish for more. Please, continue.”
“Ahhr, yes. Both the Japs and the Germans have stretched beyond their base very far. Their economies are boiling, so to speak. Mostly turned to armaments production. Its anyones guess why. The Japs are occupied with China, but the Germans are still free, to turn east or west.”
“Well, we will leave it at that for now. Marcy, the military situation.”
“Okay, Jill, heres Asia first. It looks like the Japs are stalled in central China. Both sides conduct offensives, provinces are captured and lost, but the overall frontline remains stable. There is hope the Japs have reached the limit of their advance. Secret Service reports its mainly logistical issues, as we predicted.”
“They could alter the balance by amphibious landings in the south.”
“Yeah, but they have not done so yet.”
“Forces?”
“Japan fields about 200 divisions, a good quarter of these garrisons. Roughly 100 are mobile infantry, capable of offensive operations. The Chinese have about 100 infantry divisions plus cavalry and some militia. Although no match for the Japanese one by one, they hold their ground now.”
“Fine, thats good news. The Germans are next.”
“The Wehrmacht fields now 93 divisions, 64 of these are infantry. They have 5 higher headquarters. We should mention their 7 armoured divisions, made up of light tanks. They are already stronger than the French, but really worrisome is their Luftwaffe. Now the biggest and most modern in the world, it consists of about 2.900 first line planes, 1.200 of these are bombers and about 600 Stukas. You know, these dive bombers so successful in Spain.”
“What about the Sovietas?”
“The Red Army consists of about 190 divisions, mainly infantry, a good amount of motorized units too.”
“So, the Germans are not yet ready to take on the Reds, but maybe the Allies. But I think they consider themselves not ready yet. Opinions?”
Arlene leaned forward:
“I am sure they will wait. Their next target will be Czechoslovakia. The Germans in Sudetenland are agitating for a new Anschluss to the Reich. This could be the point of war, if the Allies stay firm.”
“Do you think so, Arlene?”
“Honestly, Jill, I cant see the Lady Chamberlain go to war with the Superfrauleins over Sudetenland.”
“We will see...”


Royal Army Headquarters, Aldershot, United Queendom, May 20th, 1938, 9.25 hours

“Well, Lois, everything alright? The family?”
“Yes, Mam, everything grudging along as usual. My older daughter is lazy in school, my son missed the test for grammar school, the dog has worms, and my husband started to engage himself in a committee for Indian independence, out of sheer boredom.”
“My goodness, cant you cure him from this disease?”
“Well, at least it keeps him occupied. Last year he was into animals rights, wanted to talk me out of foxhunting. THAT was a problem.”
“Well, males... I am glad I am married to a lady, physician at a hospital in London.”
“Perhaps I am not wise enough, Mam, but I am into males, I am afraid.”
“Well, as the Royal family has taken a liking to males lately, you are in good, even royal, company with that.”
Marshall Montgomery-Messingberd chuckled briefly. Lois Mountbatten grinned. The joke about the Royals was not a new one.
“So, Lois, how did you like it at staff?”
“Interesting on the one hand, Mam, but frustrating on the other. Seeing everything what needs to be done and fixed, and no budget for even the slightest improvement...”
“Bloody right. Well, you are due for a field command again. We have already something in mind.”
“May I inquire into the details, Mam?”
“Sure, Lois, sure. You know these SET of the Superfrauen, and youve undoubtedly noticed the success of this Delta unit of the colonies.”
“Yes, Mam. A bit unconventional.”
“Hmm, yes. We want to start something similar over here. It will be called Commandos. You are to head the new outfit.”
“I see. Well, Mam, wherever you send me. The mission?”
“Uhh, thats a bit delicate, Lois. Or weird, as one might call it. Look, the PM is into pacifism, as you should know.”
“Yes, Mam, wont kill a mouse, let alone a german soldier.”
“Something like that. Now... arrhh... she had this idea....”
The old lady paused. Lois waited patiently.
“...uhh.. this idea about the mission. I am afraid the bloody Germans with their abductions planted the thought in her. Its... a  bit weird. Yes, I said that already. The PM wants the new commandos to be used in case of war, to... ahh, abduct enemy leaderesses and specialists.”
“Abduct...”
“Well, yes. Not kill, under no circumstances, “We are the good ones”, thats her words. You will train to infiltrate enemy territory and abduct German, Italian or Martian generals.”
Montgomery let out a deep sigh.
“Now its out. What do you say?”
“Thats, that, excuse me, Mam, thats total rubbish. Why not killing the lot, why ABDUCTING them? How should we get back with prisoners, in enemy territory? They wont come with us voluntarily, will they?”
“I know, Lois, I know...”
“That idea is right out of American comics! I burned my daughters comics last month! Never saw anything more silly and dumb. What does the PM think?”
“Please Lois, countenance. The PM wants it, the Security Council has authorized it, I order you to form the unit and start training. You will have to make up your own rules and procedures.”
“Well, Mam, I said it, I will go where you sent me. For our procedures, I might start with reading some of these comic books.”
“First you will have to collect your personnel. My gals are working on a list of promising candidates. But you will have to take a look yourself. Only the best, and you can recruit whomever you want.”
“A book on white slavery might come in handy too...”
“Dont get sarcastic on me, Lois. You have your orders. Maybe this idea dies before we go to war with the fascists, and then you will command a good old regiment. How do the Coldstream Guards grab you?”
“I will dream of them while I play abductress.”
“Regarding the comics, actually I am a fan of this, ahh, rubbish. Its so funny, and no one ever dies. I can lent you some issues to get started...”