The Inventor’s Revelation

by JMD

Slowly, Marie moved around the wooden sculpture that was her sister-in-law.  After taking in every detail, she said, “Okay, I’m open to suggestions.”  When she didn’t get any response, she looked back over her shoulder at the two people standing behind her.  “Well?”

“What are you looking at me for?” Victoria asked.  “You two are supposed to be the engineering geniuses.  I’m just living underwear.”

“I think we’re well past this being a problem of engineering,” the other woman pointed out.  “So, at this point, I’ll take anybody’s ideas.”

“Fair enough,” Victoria conceded.  “Regardless, I’ve got nothing.”

Marie just nodded, then turned to her brother.  “You’re up, Champ.”

Doug gave it some thought.  “Umm…  How about the Restorer?”

Both women shouted at the same time.  “NO!”

“What?”

“Seriously?” Victoria asked him.  She turned to his sister.  “I take back my genius statement.”

“Give him a minute,” Marie told her.

“To do what?  I still don’t see what…”  He seemed to realize something.  “Oh.”

“See,” Marie said to Victoria, before focusing back on him.  “So, the thing that ties your wife and her underwear together is…”

“Former underwear,” the other woman corrected.

After sharing a look with the woman, Marie indicated surrender.  “Former underwear,” she agreed with a nod.

“Damn right.”

“As I was saying, that’s out.  What about that?”  She nodded to the Linge-Ray that her brother was holding.

“Well,” he answered, examining the device, “it really wasn’t made for that.”

“So, maybe?”

“I guess it can’t hurt to try it.  Stand back.”  He checked the settings, then aimed it at the wooden sculpture of his wife.  “Here goes nothing.”

With a push of the button, the familiar beam shot out, striking the statue in the chest.  Surprisingly, the usual glow began to form and, a moment later, it disappeared with a “pop”.  Doug took time to share a hopeful look with his sister before, with another “pop”, a pair of panties appeared in its place.  A second later, they dropped to the floor with a “clunk”.  The three of them moved forward and stared down at the solid wood underwear.

“Well,” Marie commented after a moment, “those look uncomfortable as shit.”

“You ain’t kidding,” Victoria agreed.  “Can you imagine the splinters?”  The two women shared a shiver.

“If you two are finished,” Doug put in, “we can see if this did any good.”  After a nod from both women, he adjusted the settings on the Linge-ray.  Pointing it at the solid panties, he pushed the button.  Everything worked like normal, as they disappeared and a decidedly still wooden Hazel took their place.  

“Well, that was a bust,” Marie commented, walking over and giving her sister-in-law a knock on her solid forehead.  Turning back to her brother, she added, “So, what else you got?”

He sighed.  “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” she repeated.  “Really?  All that junk in your basement and you’ve got nothing?  What about that Deflator Pump thing?”

Doug looked completely surprised.  “You know about that?”

She shrugged.  “Saw it in your notes.”

“When?”

“After your wife here got the two of you, not to mention your little toy there, trapped as a bra together.”

“Oh, right,” he acknowledged.  “Well, it’s probably the closest thing I’ve got to finished, but it’s still a long way from actually working.  So…”

“No?”

“No.”

“What about her family?” Victoria suggested.  The siblings turned to face her.  “I know her sister’s the one that did this, but what about her mother or…”

“NO!” both said in unison.

“Oh-kay,” she breathed.  “I’m thinking there’s a story there.”

“She really doesn’t care too much for Doug,” Marie explained.

“She’s a traditionalist,” Doug added.  “A real stickler for witchcraft heritage.  The fact that Hazel married a…”  He made air quotes.  “...scientist really sticks in her craw.  Trust me on this.  The less she knows about this, the better.”

“That is, unless you’d rather end up as something a lot worse than underwear,,” Marie added.

Victoria looked back at them, taking in their discomfort.  “Right,” she said.  “Then, I guess we’re just going to have to try me.”

“You?”

“What happens to me happens to her, right?”

They shared a look.  “That’s right,” Doug nodded.

“So, turn me into something.  See if she follows.  Then, turn me back.  Can’t promise that she won’t come back made of pine, but it’s worth a shot.  Right?”

“Oak.”

“What?”

“I think she’s made of oak,” Doug pointed out.

Marie just shook her head before taking the Linge-Ray from her brother.  “Tell me something, Ms. Playtex…”

“Secret,” Victoria corrected.

“Excuse me?”

“According to the totem here, my label said my name was Victoria.  So…”

“Ah,” Marie nodded.  “Well then, Ms. Secret, should we be worried that someone that wasn’t even alive a week ago appears to be smarter than we are?”

“Probably,” Victoria told her.  She moved to one side and took a breath.

Marie made a couple of adjustments.  “Ready?”

“Just one request.”

“Shoot.”

“Please.  Anything but panties.”

Marie had to smile.  “Fair enough.”  She made the change before pointing the device at her.  “Here we go.”

The beam struck Victoria in the chest, the glow followed and, with a “pop”, she was gone.  A second “pop” produced a red lace babydoll nightie that dropped to the floor.  Together, the siblings turned to the statue just in time to see it “pop” away.  Doug pumped his fist as an identical babydoll took its place before falling to the floor.

“Well, that looks promising,” Marie commented.

“It does,” Doug agreed.

“Then, let’s see if it worked,” Marie commented.  “Just give me a second to get ready.”

“Ready?” Doug asked.

Her only reply was to hold up a finger.  She made the adjustments and pointed the device at the first babydoll.  Two “pops” later, and Victoria was back.  All three turned to the lingerie on the floor and waited.  It took a little bit longer than usual, but it disappeared.  And to the joy of at least one of them, a moment later, a very non-wooden… and very pissed off… Hazel appeared.  

“Where is she? I’m going to…”  She spun around looking for her sister.  First, she spotted Doug who, though he was glad to see her, stepped back.  With another turn, she locked eyes with Victoria.  “You!  We’ll talk later.”  Finally, she spotted Marie standing off to one side holding the Linge-Ray.  “You, on the other hand…”  She started to raise her hand toward her sister-in-law, but stopped as the beam hit her in the chest.  She looked down at the glow on her naked chest.  Looking back up, she glared at the other woman.  “Oh, you’re…”

With a double “pop”, a pink bodysuit fell to the floor.

“Hey!” Doug shouted.  “What’s…”

“Shh!” Marie hissed, moving to a different position in the room.  She reset the device and pointed it at the bodysuit.  

A few moments later, Hazel was back.  She immediately saw that Marie had moved and turned to find her.  “There you are…”  That’s as far as she got before she was hit again, this time turning into a lacy bustier.  It took three more changes… a negligee, a camisole and, finally, a full bodystocking… before she held up her hand.  “Okay.  Okay.  I get the point.”

“Good,” Marie said, though she continued to aim the Linge-Ray at her.  “Now, give me my husband.”

“Your…”  It took Hazel a second to remember.  “Oh, right.”  Without any sign of shame, she slipped her pantyhose down her legs, leaving her both totally nude and completely blush-free.  With a smile, she tossed them to Marie who, making no effort to catch them, let them land at her feet.  “Happy now?”

“Yup,” Marie said.  And she hit the button.

Hazel just sighed.  “Dammit.”  After the “pop”, a tiny garter belt dropped to the floor.

“Marie…”

“What?” his sister cut him off.  “Like she wasn’t just waiting on me to let my guard down.  She’ll be fine like that until I get my husband back.  After we’re gone, you can do what you want with her.”

Doug knew there was no point in arguing.  “Whatever,” he said as he bent to pick up his wife.

With a nod, she turned the Linge-Ray at the pantyhose at her feet.  Making the necessary adjustments, she pushed the button.  A second later, Michael appeared.  He was still wearing the robe from the night before, but around a male body this time.  “Welcome back, Mister,” Marie said.

He took in her demeanor.  “How much trouble am I in?”

“To be determined,” she answered.  “At the very least, we’re going to have a serious discussion about who’s allowed to wear you.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he nodded, though they shared a smile.

“I don’t see what the big deal is.”  They all turned to Victoria.  “I mean, sure, she wore him.  And I get how that would make you mad.  But it’s not like he got anything out of it.  Not really.  He wasn’t aware of anything happening.  He was just pantyhose.”

“He was her pantyhose.”

“But still just pantyhose, right?”

Marie turned the Linge-Ray on her.  “Would you like to join the garter over there?”

Before Victoria could comment, Doug cut her off.  “Wait!” he said excitedly.  “Wait.  She’s right.  He wouldn’t have felt a thing.  That’s how the Linge-Ray works.”  He talked faster when he realized that his sister was changing targets.  “But she didn’t use it on me.  She used her witchcraft.”

That brought her up short.  “Wait.  She wore you, too?”

“She did,” Victoria confirmed.  “As a little black dress.”

“And I was there,” he added quickly.  “The whole time.  I felt everything.”

“You did?” Michael asked, unable to hide his own excitement.

“Everything,” he repeated.  “Every movement.  Every touch.  From the time I collapsed into her hands to the time she turned me back.”

“How was it?”

“It was amazing,” he breathed.  “I could tell what parts of me were touching what parts of her.  I could tell when she was walking and when she was sitting down.  I could even feel every breath she took.  It was great.  All of it.”  He paused as he remembered the experience.  “Well, okay, just lying empty on the couch all night was a bit boring, but…”

Michael looked around for his sister-in-law.  “So, if she…”

“OH HELL NO!”  They turned to where Marie was standing stiffly.  “Get that idea out of your head!”

“But, Marie…”

“You heard me, Mister,” she insisted.  “Forget it.  There’s no way on God’s green earth that I’m going to let her give you anything I can’t.  Got it?  One way or another, we’ll figure this out.”  She jerked her head toward the door.  “Now, let’s go.”

“But…”  The look in her eye made him stop.  “Yes, Ma’am,” he relented as he headed out.

She held up the Linge-Ray.  “This is coming with me.”  Before he could protest.  “No argument.  I’m going to take a serious look at what you’ve got here.”

“Don’t you want my help?”

“Not yet.  I want to look at it for myself.  See if I can see what you did.”

“And I do what in the meantime?”

“You take it easy.  Don’t forget.  You start your new job on Monday.”

“Oh…  Right.”  

“And don’t make too many evening plans,” she added.  “We’re going to be working heavily on this whole awareness issue until we solve it.”  She turned to go.  “Witchcraft?  I swear.”

“Wait!” he called out before she got to the door.  She turned back to see him holding out a finger with the garter dangling from it.  “What about her?”

She started to say something, but stopped herself as she remembered something.  “You’ve still got the Restorer,” she said with a grin.  “Why don’t you use it?”

“I thought we agreed that was a bad idea?”

“On witchcraft changes, yeah.” She nodded to the Linge-Ray in her hands.  “But, as I recall, it reversed the effects of this thing before.  Right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“So, it only went wonky when she tried to reverse her stupid magic with it.”  He started to say something again, but she didn’t let him.  “If you’re that worried about it, just let her do it.”  She nodded toward Victoria.

“Why me?”

“You’re already tied together with her.  What can it hurt?”  She smiled.  “Hell, it might even fix it.  Who knows?”  Before anyone else could comment, she was out the door, closing it firmly behind her.

Doug stared at the door for a bit, before turning to Victoria.  “Before you say anything,” she said, holding up a finger, “I’m not doing anything until I’ve had some sleep.  Your wife there left me tied up all night long.  Let her be the one inconvenienced for a while.”

Doug started to protest, but then gave up.  “Fine.”

“We can talk again after I’ve had eight solid hours.”

“Okay.”

“So, do you have a guest room?  Or am I sleeping in the basement?”

“Second room on the right.”

“Got it.  See you later.”  And she was gone.

Doug flopped down on the arm of the couch.  Absent-mindedly, he spun the garter around on his finger as he tried to decide what he was going to do.  After about a minute, he got up and headed for the bedroom. “Fine.  We’ll do it the hard way.”

As he entered the room, he spotted the Restorer on the top of the dresser he shared with Hazel.  With a casual toss of the garter to the bed, he crossed the room and picked up the invention.  He turned and pointed it at the garter, took a deep DEEP breath, and pressed the button.

He let out another breath of relief when the garter disappeared with a “pop”.  The second “pop” produced his naked wife who looked around quickly, noting that she wasn’t in the living room anymore.  Spotting her husband, she asked, “Where?”

“The bedroom,” he replied.

“I know that,” she told him, sitting up.  “I meant where are they?”

“They?” he asked, confused by the pronoun.

“My traitorous underwear.  Your sister.  My sister.”

“I’ve got no idea where Rhiannon went.  She just walked through the wall and left.”  He nodded in the direction of his sister’s house.  “Marie went home with Michael and the Linge-Ray.”  He pointed down the hall.  “And Victoria’s taking a nap in the guest room.”

“Good,” she said, turning toward the door.  “I’ll start with her.”

Doug grabbed her arm.  “No, you won’t.”  She turned back and looked at the hand holding her back before turning her angry eyes on him.  “You heard me,” he told her unfazed.  “Leave her alone.  She’s earned some down time.”

“She’s the one that turned Rhea loose on me.  I’m going to…”

“You’re going to leave her alone.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s the only reason you’re even standing here right now.  That’s why.”  That seemed to get through a little.  “That’s right.  Marie and I were stumped.  If she hadn’t come up with the idea of using the Linge-Ray, you’d still be a block of wood standing in the living room.”

“She did?”

“Yeah,” he told her.  “I thought you’d have been able to tell that.  I mean, Rhiannon used witchcraft to change you.  Weren’t you awake?”

“I was awake,” she answered, “but I couldn’t see or hear anything.  What did Rhea do to me?”

“Turned you into a wood statue.”

“Ah, that explains it.  Wooden eyes and ears don’t work.  I knew I was something solid, just not what.”  She turned to the door, and considered what he’d told her.  “Okay.  She gets a break.”

He let her go.  “Thank you.”

“Your sister, on the other hand…”  She turned back for the door.

“HAZEL, ENOUGH!”  She turned back, her anger obvious.  But before she could lay into him, he went on.  “This has been going on long enough.”

“This what?”

“This thing of the two of you going at it,” he answered.  “It started when you and I started dating, but since I created the Linge-Ray, it’s really gotten out of control.  How long ago was that?  A week?  Maybe a little more?  How long have either of you been human in that time?  I’m serious.  I’m starting to regret inventing that damn thing.”

“But she…”

“What?” he cut her off.  “What did she really do?”  She opened her mouth to answer, but didn’t get the chance.  “She protected herself from you.  That’s what.  You were ready to attack and she beat you to the punch.  Is that what you’re really mad about?”

Hazel tried twice, but couldn’t find the words to say.

“Look, let’s take a break,” he said, moving to sit on the edge of the mattress..  “Okay?  Can we just do that for a change?”  He sighed.  “And to think, this morning started out so good, too.”

Hazel walked over and looked down at him.  Then, she smiled.  “It did,” she agreed, sitting next to him.  “You were so excited.”

“Yeah.  I really was.”

“Tell me.”

“It worked.”  Before she could ask, he told her, “Your witchcraft worked.”

“Well, duh…”

He couldn’t help but smile.  “I was there, Hazy.  The whole time.  It felt…”  He paused, thinking back to the experience.  “It felt amazing.  It felt incredible.”  He turned to her.  “It felt right.”

She smiled back.  “So, can you use it to fix the issue with the Linge-Ray?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” he admitted.  “Not sure you can safely combine technology and witchcraft.”  His smile returned.  “But it gives me something to strive for if nothing else.”

“Good,” she smiled.  She waited a moment, then added, “You know, I seem to remember something else about this morning that was pretty amazing, too.”  She laid her hand on the crotch of his pants to remind him.  After a moment, her smile widened.  “Ooh, there you are.”

He took her hand and lifted it to his lips.  “If I recall correctly,” he said, kissing it softly, “you said something about attending to that.”

“I believe I did, yes.”

“Sounds like a better plan than fighting with my sister to me.”

“It does indeed.”  She raised her hand and snapped her fingers.  The clothes he was wearing began to glow.  A second later, the glow faded and he was as naked as she was.  “And I swear,” she added, using her arms to move herself further into the bed, “if someone gets in the way this time, they won’t be human for at least a year.”

He rolled over and took her in his arms.  “Two,” he amended before pulling her into a kiss.

And, luckily for all concerned, no one did.