The Inventor’s Wife’s Night Out

by JMD

“Hazel,” the doorman greeted her.  “It’s been a minute.”  He looked behind her.  “No Doug tonight?

Hazel adjusted the hem of her dress.  “He decided to hang out with his family tonight.”  She turned to the woman behind.  “This is my new friend Victoria.”

The man smiled at the brunette, who turned away shyly.  He cocked an eyebrow at Hazel.

“Don’t mind her,” she said, guiding Victoria into the club.  “She’s not used to being out where people can see her.  She’ll come around.  Take care.”

They moved around the dance floor and found a table in the corner.  Taking their seats, Hazel flagged over a waitress.  After ordering drinks for the two of them, she turned to her companion.  “If I’d known you were going to be such a stiff, I’d have left you at home and brought my sexy thong instead.”

Victoria frowned at her.  “Ha ha.  Very funny.  Why DID you bring me?”

“First and foremost, to keep an eye on you.  Wouldn’t want you running off while I’m out having some fun.”  She waited for a reply.  When she didn’t get one, she went on.  “Second, you and I need to come to an understanding.”

“Do we?” Victoria asked.   “Why?  I’d think the best thing that could happen to you is for me to get out of your life.”

“Eventually, maybe,” Hazel agreed.  “But not before we deal with whatever it is that links me to you.  Can’t risk you running into something that turns you into something soft and squishy, now can I?”

“What are the odds of that?  How many of you witches are there, anyway?”

“Enough,” Hazel replied.  “Not to mention the other things out there?”

“Other things?”

“You know.  Lycanthropes.  Gorgons.  Alchemists.  Hell, who knows?  Maybe Doug isn’t the only scientist working on transformation technology.”  She paused as the waitress returned with their drinks.  She took a sip of hers before going on.  “Point is there’s a lot of things out there you’re not ready for.  And, all things considered, I can’t risk you running into one and getting me turned into something I don’t want to be.”

Victoria tried her own drink, grimacing slightly at the taste.  “Like?” she asked, setting it down.

“Like any number of things,” Hazel stated.  “A slug.  Or a rock.  A houseplant.  A birdbath.”

“Panties?”

“Exact…”  Hazel stopped and narrowed her eyes at the woman.  “...ly.”  She sat back, crossing her arms across her chest.  “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Don’t try to make me into a villain.”  She sat back forward.  “I’m not doing anything wrong here.  I’m just…”

“...turning me into something I don’t want to be.”

“IT’S WHAT YOU ARE!”  As people turned to stare, Hazel dropped her voice.  “That’s not my fault.”

“It’s not mine either,” Victoria pointed out.  “If anyone’s to blame, it’s your husband, the dress.  He’s the one that decided to create me.  And maybe he shouldn’t have, but he did.  I’m here.  I’m alive.  And I want to stay that way.”

Hazel sighed.  “You may not be able to, you know?  You may change back on your own.”

“So, you’ve said,” Victoria admitted.  “And you may be right.  But tell me this.  Have you considered what that means to you if I do?”

“Every minute since I found out we were linked.”  She downed the rest of her drink in a single gulp.

Victoria waited a moment before asking, “And what have you concluded?”

Hazel signaled the waitress.  “One of two outcomes.  One, it breaks the link and I’m off the hook.”  The waitress came to the table.  “You want another?” Hazel asked Victoria.

“I’m good,” she replied, trying another sip.

“Then bring me two,” she told the waitress.

“And the second outcome?” Victoria asked as the waitress left.

“The second…” Hazel took a deep breath.  “The second outcome is that the connection stays, I change with you, and we both go into the hamper.”

Victoria shook her head.  “That won’t happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because your dress won’t allow it to.”  She took another sip, made a face, and pushed it across the table.  “That said, he won’t do anything to prevent scenario one from happening.  Nor would anyone else in your ensemble tonight.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Hazel told her before finishing her drink for her.  “Michael would probably want to help you.  He’s that way.”

“Michael?”

“My pantyhose.”

“The big woman?”

Hazel smiled.  “The big woman is actually a man.  My bra’s husband.”

Victoria stared at her.  “You have a weird family, you know that?”

Hazel laughed.  “You have no idea.”

“And your bra’s a bit of a bitch.”

Hazel laughed harder.  “Again, no idea.”

“No,” Victoria clarified, fidgeting.  “I mean the one you let me borrow.  It’s not very comfortable.”

Hazel smiled, but didn’t comment as the waitress arrived with her drinks.  After she left, she said, “That’s a bit surprising.  I bought you two as a set.”

Victoria’s eyes narrowed.  “Well, good.  Then, we’ll all go together when I change back.”  She pushed away from the table.  “Excuse me.”

Hazel looked concerned.  “Where are you going?”

“I’ve got to pee.”  She headed for the bathroom.

“How?” Hazel called after her.  “You haven’t drank more than a couple of sips in your entire life.”  As she sat back, she noticed two women at a table nearby staring.  “Careful, ladies,” she said to them.  “I might not be able to do anything to her, but the two of you would make a nice pair of boots.”

The women shared a look between them.  Apparently coming to a silent agreement, they picked up their drinks and purses, got up and headed off to another part of the club.

“That’s right,” Hazel said to herself, “Go and leave the crazy drunk lady alone.”  She toasted them before taking another big swallow from her newest drink.

Leaning back in her seat, she kept a watchful eye on the ladies bathroom door.  Running her hand over the soft fabric of her dress, she sighed.  “You there, honey?” she asked.  “I hope so.  I know how important getting the Linge-Ray right is to you.”  She took another sip.  “That being said, I REALLY need you to figure out what caused me to be linked to…”  She struggled for the right phrasing, finally settling on, “...her.  I mean, I love being transformed as much as the next girl.  In fact, I absolutely LOVED being your underwear…”  She stopped to think.  “...whenever that was.  But the idea of being stuck that way forever?  Nobody wants that.”  She curled her lips as she thought about what she’d just said.  “Nobody,” she repeated

As if on cue, Victoria picked that moment to come out of the bathroom.

“Not even her,” Hazel said with a sigh.  “Well, crap,” she said, throwing back the last of her fourth drink.  “I AM the villain.”

“Talking to yourself?”

She looked up to see that Victoria had made it back to their table.  “To my dress, actually.”

“Yeah,” Victoria said, “because that’s so much better.”

Hazel gave her a crooked smile.  “Sit.”  She waited until the other woman did so.  “Look, I’ve been thinking…”

“Uh-oh.”

“Hush you, before I turn you into…”  She stopped with a scowl.

Victoria smiled.  “Yes?”

Hazel’s expression darkened.  “Listen to me.  I can’t change you, but that doesn’t mean you're completely safe from me.  There are other things I could do.”

The smile faltered.  “Like?”

“Like turn MYSELF into a giant spider, web you up and store you away for a midnight snack some night.”

Victoria swallowed.  “You could do that?”

Hazel just gave her an unnerving smile.  “Now, shut up and listen.  I’m going to make you a deal.  But first…”  She flagged the waitress down.  “I’ll have another.  And bring something a bit more tasty for my girl here.”

The waitress turned to Victoria.  “Tom Collins?”

“Sure, I guess.”  As the woman left to fill their order, she turned back to Hazel.  “So?”  At Hazel’s raised eyebrow, she prompted, “A deal?”

“RIght.”  The redhead leaned forward to make sure she could be heard over the noise.  “But first and foremost, I need to make sure you understand that I’m not making any promises.  My entire life, I’ve been told that things don’t stay transformed forever.  At some point, they WILL return to their natural forms.  That’s just the way it worked.”

“But…?”

“But…”  She sighed before going on.  “But, if there is a way to keep you… well, you, then I’ll do everything I can to help find it.”  She nodded down to her dress.  “And so will he.”  She smiled.  “Can’t promise the same from my bra however.  She’ll be too busy looking for payback.”  The waitress came over with the drinks.  “It’s a little game we play.”

“Right.”  She took a sip of her drink.  “Mmm…”  A bigger sip followed.

“Better?”

“Much.”  She took a few more sips before sitting the glass down.  “So…”

“So?”

“You said this was a deal,” Victoria explained.  “That suggests you want something in return.”

“Oh, I do,” Hazel admitted.  “Like I said, this goes against everything I believe to be true.  It’s not going to be something we fix in a day.  It’ll take time.  How much time, I can’t say.  But what I can say for sure is that it’ll take a lot longer if you keep fighting against us.”

Victoria sipped her drink while she considered her response.  “I’d like to point out that I was only fighting you because you intended to turn me back into panties.”

Hazel started to argue, but stopped herself.  “Fair.”

“But that still leaves the question of what I do while you’re looking for a solution.  I think I’m a little too big to fit in your underwear drawer now.”

Hazel smiled.  “That could be fixed, you know.”

“Really?” Victoria countered.  “So, you wouldn’t mind being tiny too?”

Hazel started to respond, but stopped with a frown.  “Crap.”  The frown deepened at the other woman’s smile.  “We’ll figure something out,” she commented dryly.  “Do we have a deal?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off by someone behind her.  “Hazel!  Long time no see!”  She turned to see a man that just gave her the creeps.  Something about the way he seemed to be checking out every woman around him as he approached really set off alarms.  She turned back to Hazel with a raised eyebrow.

“Hello, Barry,” her companion said in a tone that made it clear she wasn’t happy to see him.  “What brings you all the way out to this side of town?  As if I didn’t know.”

The man just smiled.  “Well, to be honest, I thought I might find your lovely sister here tonight?”

“And why would you think that exactly?”

“Well, I might have overheard her telling someone on her phone this afternoon that she planned to.”  He gave her a wink to punctuate the statement.

Hazel leaned forward as he continued to hover over them.  “Overheard?” she questioned.  “More like spied on.  Right?”

He shrugged.  “To-may-to, to-mah-to.”

“Well,” Hazel said, sitting back with her drink, “I haven’t seen Rhea even once since I got here.  So, I guess she changed her mind.”

“Heh,” Victoria snorted, stirring her drink.  “She changed something, that’s for sure.”

She immediately regretted her comment.  First, for Hazel’s dark look across the table.  But mostly, because it brought her to creepy Barry’s full attention.  “And who is this lovely creature?” he asked, leaning in her direction.

“This…”  Hazel’s dark expression softened almost immediately.  “This,” she started again, “is Rhiannon’s new best friend.”

“Really?” he commented.  “And does she have a name?”

“Victoria.”  She shot a dark look of her own across at Hazel.

“Hmmm…”  Barry made a show of thinking it over.  “Nope.  Never heard that name before.  And here I thought I knew everyone that Rhea is close to.”

“Trust me on this one, Barry,” Hazel put in.  “No one is closer to her than this one right here.”

“Well, in that case, the two of us should definitely get to know each other better.”  He held out his hand to her.  “How about a dance, pretty lady?”

“I’m good,” Victoria hedged.

“Oh, come on, Vic,” Hazel pushed.  “Weren’t you just telling me how much you wanted to live from now on.  So, get out there and live a little.”

Victoria looked from her back to the man looming over her.  “Well, I guess one dance won’t kill me.”  She took the outstretched hand and allowed herself to be led to the dance floor.

Hazel saluted them with her drink.  “You kids have fun,” she said before finishing it off and signaling the waitress over.  “One for me.  Two for her,” she ordered before sitting back to enjoy the show.

At first, things went as one would expect.  Victoria took a few moments to get into the rhythm of it, but was soon moving along with the beat.  That went on for about a minute before Barry moved in a bit closer.  As he did, Victoria gave a sudden sideways jerk.  It was followed quickly by a sudden forward hop.  Then, a jerk in the other direction.  She stopped and said something to Barry, who made a calming gesture with his hands.  Victoria looked doubtful for a bit, then started dancing again.  Barry joined her and things went back to normal.  For about ten seconds, at which point Victoria stopped dead and took a step back.  The slap that came next was almost loud enough to hear over the driving music.  Without another word, Victoria turned and headed back toward the table.  Barry stared after her for barely a second, before he shrugged and headed off in a different direction, no doubt in search of another conquest.

“Back so soon?” Hazel asked as Victoria retook her seat.

The other woman glared at her across the table.

“What was that dance you were doing?  It looked like the Time Warp.”  All she got was a cocked eyebrow in reply, so she went on.  “You know.  A jump to the left, then a step to the right.”  She took her drink from the waitress.  “Thank god you stopped before you got to the pelvic thrust.  No one wants to see that.”

Victoria drained one of the two glasses the waitress sat before her.  “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“That’s okay.  We’ll stream it later.”  After a sip of her own drink, she asked, “So, what do you think of Barry?”

“That…  He…  What a…”  She stopped at the smile that came to Hazel’s face.  “You knew.”

“Yeah,” she admitted.  “He’s been bugging Rhiannon for a while now.  She says he’s mostly harmless.  Just a bit…  handsy.”

She pushed the empty glass aside and took up the other.  “Heh.  You can say that again.  He was all up under my dress and all over…”  She stopped from taking a sip of her drink, sitting the glass back down.  “...all over my panties.”

Hazel smiled as she took a drink of her own.

Victoria just shook her head.  “You must really hate your sister.”

“Hate?”

“To do this to her?  Yeah, hate.”

Hazel considered her for a second.  “You know, I just realized something.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Well, I have no idea where you came from.  How Doug created you.  But one thing’s for sure.  Wherever it was, you were an only child.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Nope, you do not.”  She emptied her own glass.  “Now, drink up.  This night’s just getting started.”

~~~~~   ~~~~~   ~~~~~

It was somewhere between midnight and one that the taxi dropped them off in front of the house.  “Give me that,” Victoria said after Hazel’s fifth attempt at putting the key into the lock on the front door.  It only took her three tries herself to get them inside.

As soon as she was in, Hazel dropped her purse onto the couch.  “Okay,” she said, reaching over her shoulders and grabbing at the back of her dress, “you’ve got to go.”  She pulled her dress over her head and dropped it over her purse.

Victoria dropped into the easy chair on the other side of the coffee table.  “That’s no way to treat your husband, you know?”

“Not him,” Hazel clarified, reaching to undo her bra.  “This bitch.  I swear she’s been purposely getting tighter all night.”  She casually tossed it over her shoulder before flopping down onto the couch, cradling her naked chest.  “Ah.  Much better.”

“Could she do that?” Victoria asked.  “Actually get tighter?”

Hazel thought about it.  “Probably not,” she admitted.  “No more than a regular bra could anyway.”

“Tell me about it,” the other woman said, fidgeting with her own through her dress.  ”The only one I’ve ever worn never fit to begin with.  Now…  It’s almost strangling me.  And the dress is pretty tight up top, too.”

“So, take them off.”

“I’ll wait, thanks.”  She eyed Hazel’s naked chest.  “Some of us just aren’t as comfortable sitting around with our boobs hanging out as others, I suppose.”

“Didn’t seem to bother you when we first met.  What’s changed?”

VIctoria gave it some thought.  “I… I honestly don’t know.  Maybe I’m maturing,” she added with a smile.

“Whatever,” Hazel commented with a shrug.  She reached over and fingered her dress.  “You know, both Doug and Michael ended up rather well endowed as women.  I wonder why the Linge-Ray creates such big boobs.”

Victoria snorted.  “What’s the mystery?  It was made by a guy.  They all think with their penises, don’t they?”

“That’s not all they do with them.”  She wiggled her eyebrows at her.

Victoria couldn’t help but smile.  “You are SO drunk.”

“I SO am,” Hazel agreed.  “And I SO needed it.  It’s been a long…”  She stopped as she realized something.  “How long has it been?”

“Since what?”

“Since this crazy shit started.”

“You’re asking me?  Hell, I was basically just born.  What do I know about time?”

Hazel sat up and moved her dress aside.  “Phone,” she said, opening her purse.  “Where’s my…”  She pulled the device from inside and unlocked it.  Her brows went up.  “Saturday?  It’s just early Saturday morning?”

“If you say so.”

She slumped back into the cushions.  “Three days.  It’s only been three days?”  She looked up to the other woman, who just shrugged.  “Seems a whole lot longer than that.”

“I guess,” Victoria told her.  “I spent most of it as something else, so…”  When she didn’t get a response, she added.  “Are you okay?”

Hazel looked up at her.  “Yeah.  It’s just a lot to take in.  A lot has happened in a short period of time.”  She thought about it a moment more before giving her head a shake.  “Well, I need to get to bed before I pass out right here.”  She got unsteadily to her feet.

Victoria got up as well.  “Okay, what about me?”

Hazel snapped her fingers.  “That’s right,” she said.  “Thanks for reminding me.”  She gestured at the other woman.

“Hey… wait… don’t…”  But it was too late, as Hazel’s witchcraft took effect.

Expecting to be turned into something, Victoria was surprised when it was only her dress that began to glow.  Any relief she had was quickly lost, however, as the glow spread to engulf her body from neck to ankle, growing extremely tight.  As the glow faded, she found herself completely wrapped up in what appeared to be spider webs.  Looking up, she found Hazel grinning at her.

“Really?” she asked, struggling to maintain her balance.  Losing the struggle, she flopped back into the chair.  “I thought we had a deal?”

“As I recall, you never actually agreed to it.”

“I didn’t?”

“Nope.  You decided to go off dancing with Barry instead.”

Victoria’s eyes narrowed.  “That was your idea, not mine.”

Hazel waved her off.  “To-may-to, to-mah-to.  Anyway, since we haven’t reached a formal agreement… and I’m in no shape to make one now… I figure it best to make sure you stay out of trouble until we can iron things out.  Don’t you agree?”

“What do you think?”

“I think I hear my bed calling.”  She turned and headed off.  “See you in the morning.”

Heading down the hall, Hazel completely ignored Victoria yelling after her.  She briefly considered taking off her pantyhose, but that decision was made for her as gravity took over.  Falling straight forward, she was completely unconscious before her face hit the pillow.