Piloting the Doll hadn’t been like the last few times. Instead of hating it Lauren loved it. At least she thought she did. The connection between her mind and the Doll’s was set to active. This allowed Lauren to influence the Doll and access her memories. When a Doll was fully integrated it would usually just download all new information since the last session and then upload the new session to the user's mind. The system wasn’t designed for dual users as the Doll resulting in Lauren not feeling like herself.



Looking at Ben, standing in front of her told Lauren the reason why she was feeling the way she was feeling. She had a deeper connection to him, because he had walked in her shoes. She had been in her unblemished skin, worn her youthful face, and even worn her clothes. Ben had been happy as this version of her and she had even been given a new name Laura. Lauren wasn’t Laura though nor was she herself. She was Lauran.



Lauran tilted her head as she pondered her own thoughts, how the change of one letter in her name made her someone else. It was kind of like her mind, how it was mostly the same but one small difference, the influences of Lauren mixing with Laura. The memories of Ben’s life were blocked by the active status of Lauren being in control but Laura was now rooted into the hardware of Lauran’s mind.



“Is everything alright?” Ben stood there feeling a mix of concern, jealousy and happiness. Concern as Lauren stood there lost in her thoughts. Jealous, because he wanted to be Laura. Happy, because Lauren was in front of him after being away during a stressful week.



“I just…” Lauran looked at him, she didn’t know what to think at the moment. Did she pity him because she was in Laura’s body and not him? Happy because she had an insane week and she was home and with him. Angry because he used a version of her to live out his fantasy? None of this was right, this was her body, not Laura’s. Laura shouldn’t even exist. It wasn’t a fantasy either, Laura awoke something in Ben, something that might have always been there. There were too many conflicting feelings going through Lauran’s head.

“I need a minute,” Lauran finally managed. She gave Ben a sympathetic smile as she walked out of Lauren’s… her office. She went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

Lauran stood there naked as she examined her body. Lauren’s feelings of it not being her body and missing her scars, marks and other blemishes were gone. That didn’t just come from Ben’s feeling either, it came from Lauren. Now that Laura existed, Lauren was able to put this on the body belonging to someone else. It wasn’t her and was more akin to being an identical twin. Lauren could at least thank Ben for that.

As Lauran ran her hands down her hairless body, she could feel Ben’s attraction to the body. The attraction had multiple layers to it. She loved how she looked and she loved being in the body. Oddly enough she didn’t mind not having a vulva or nipples, though she knew what it was like having them, she felt the curiosity all the same. The part of her that was Lauren loved being able to feel how Ben felt about her body. Though there was doubt too, as this was a flawless copy of it and she wondered if Ben would feel the same way in her actual body, not that she’d ever want to find out.



The parts of Lauran that were Ben had eased her mind about what he had done. Though Lauran wasn’t sure if she’d feel that way if she didn’t have that connection. She tried to focus on what Lauren would think, but it was all muddled up. Her love for Ben and wanting him to be happy came from both of them. If it had been anyone else, would Lauren accept that though. Lauran focused on what Lauren was feeling, trying to ignore Ben’s feelings. She found the hurt and betrayal as well as the invasion of privacy. Lauren needed to be mad at Ben just because only that side of Lauran was the only part that could be mad.



It was hard to be mad at someone when you shared a deep connection and understanding with them. So Lauran focused on the things she could be mad at. Going into her office was the biggest thing, that was a complete breach of trust. Then there was that he kept this to himself. She could latch onto his feelings about Lauren going to Japan. There was a mixture of feelings there, so she ignored the guilt he felt and focused on the happiness. So Lauran could be mad that he was happy Lauren left.



Being mad gave Lauren a sense of herself in the combined mind she had found herself in. She looked at the mirror and focused on these feelings, knowing it wasn’t healthy to hold onto the negative emotions. Though it was useless though as looking at herself just brought back the feelings of loving the body she was in, she also found she missed her long, red hair. That, Lauran, knew was from Ben, as long hair was a pain to manage and putting the chemicals in to change the color of her hair was annoying.



Unable to look at herself and hold onto the anger, Lauran left the bathroom and saw Ben waiting for her outside. He looked ashamed as he knew what was going on. Just seeing him standing there, made Lauran drop all the negative emotions. She went to comfort him but Lauren pulled her back.



“I know what you did, I know why you did it,” Lauran said, reaching out with her arm before pulling it back. “Laura’s in here with me,” Lauran added so Ben knew the full extent of what was going on. “Laura feels your pain and your love. Lauren loves you too but she’s also mad and hurt for what you did.” She turned from him. “I need to clear my head and make sense of all this.”



Lauran went into the bedroom and got dressed in her tracksuit. She searched the room for an old hair tie and put her hair up into a loose ponytail. She grabbed her joggers and she went for a run.



Usually when Lauren went for a run to clear her head, she’d run until she was exhausted or until her mind was clear. Lauran couldn’t get exhausted and there was too much in her mind to clear. The signal booster also gave Lauren a larger connection range and she usually did laps of the nearby park. Lauran ran for as long as she could, she didn’t notice it getting dark as her eyes adjusted. It wasn’t until the sun began to rise, that Lauran noticed she had been running all night.