As Lauren laid against Ben, enjoying his company she thought about the Doll and the impact it was having on her mental health. Despite only being in it for two short sessions when she went to the bathroom she found herself sitting on the toilet longer than expected staring at her vulva like a curious teenage boy. She wasn't sure how long she was staring before she snapped out of it and went to wash her hands. Even looking in the mirror had a profound effect on her, as she focused on her short brown hair, looked at her scars, moles and freckles, she even touched the hair on her arm and face.



Lauren was supposed to be working and had used the excuse that she was just testing out the standby mode of the Doll but the truth was, she didn’t want to ever use the thing again. Instead she laid against Ben feeling his heartbeat as his chest slowly rose and fell. She just laid there enjoying the moment.



“Shouldn’t you ah… be getting back to work?” Ben asked not wanting to disturb Lauren but he also didn’t want to get her into trouble by being a distraction.



Lauren sighed as she stood upright and patted Ben’s leg. “I suppose you’re right, but I still haven’t had lunch yet,” Lauren got up, her nausea  from leaving the Doll had finally passed. She went to the kitchen and prepared her food, using as many spices as she could to give it some more flavour.



After lunch Lauren gave Ben another hug as she went back up to her home office. She paused for a moment as she saw the Doll just standing there as if it were asleep. It was a lot less unnerving than how it looked before. She then turned to the neurochair and then her desk. Instead of reactivating the Doll she gave a short report about how exciting standby mode was disorientating then she went to explain what she did while the Doll was in standby. She looked back at the Doll and down at herself thinking about the negative experience she was having.



“I guess giving feedback on my negative experience does count as work. And because I feel like I need to clear my head…” Lauren said to the Doll as she got up and left it standing there.



Lauren went to the bedroom and got dressed in her running gear. It had been ages since she had gone for a good run but it always helped her in the past. She again took a little bit longer to get dressed as she traced her appendix scar and looked at her birthmark. She was going to mention the hyperfixation in the report.



“You’re not back in the Doll…” Ben questioned as Lauren came back downstairs.



“Not all my tests need to be done in the Doll itself,” Lauren explained as she began to do some warm up stretches.



“What does going for a run not in the Doll achieve?” Ben inquired.



“It gives me a good baseline of myself,” Lauren answered honestly, she wasn’t sure what to tell Ben about how she was feeling.



“Oh, okay,” Ben shrugged. “See you when you get back.”



The run was a good idea, Lauren thought. She could feel her heartbeat racing as she took deep breaths, even the sweat on her clothes didn’t phase her. She was able to get out of her mind and focus on her body and that was a critical thing given how she was feeling. She was out for a good hour before finally returning home, feeling glad to be tired and sore.



Once Lauren got home, she decided to run a nice warm bath. She just let the water soothe her as she examined every imperfection in her skin. She loved the feeling of the hair on her arms and legs, and her flabby belly. She was able to recenter herself with the run and bath afterwards and she felt happier than she had felt in a long time. She felt like herself.



Lauren decided that despite it meaning she’d miss out on a hefty bonus, she was going to exit the program. She knew it would look bad, having a custom Doll sent to recycling but she felt it’s what’s best for her. She left the Doll where it was and ignored its existence as she joined her husband downstairs.



“How was work?” Ben asked as he heard Lauren coming down the stairs. He froze when he saw her wearing one of her silky nightgowns. “Wow…” Ben smiled.



“You should see what I’ve got on underneath,” Lauren teased as she grabbed his hands and leaned in for a passionate kiss. “How about we order take out tonight from that Italian place,” she suggested with a playful smile.



“That sounds wonderful,” Ben said as he watched Lauren smiling without a care in the world, a stark difference to how she was a few hours ago. “What has gotten into you?” he half joked.



“What do you mean?” Lauren laughed it off as she spun around the living room, trying to get Ben to match her energy.



“You’re acting like a different person,” Ben said in a serious tone. He would’ve loved to go along with Lauren’s carefree spirit but it would’ve been irresponsible of him to ignore the massive mood swing.



“I was struggling with work,” Lauren admitted with a sigh as she sat down. “The Doll gave me a major out of body experience, I’ve recentered myself and now I’m living in the moment,” she gave him a bittersweet smile.



“So what are you going to do?” Ben looked at her concerned.



“I’m going to return it, it’s not something for me,” Lauren admitted as she stood up. “I’m sure work will understand, it’s in the testing phase and sometimes tests fail.” She was reassuring the both of them that this was the correct course of action. “Now we could keep talking about it or…” Lauren took off her nightgown to reveal her black and red lingerie. It had been a little while since Ben had seen her wear it and it usually meant one thing. “You can follow me upstairs for a bit of fun.”

* * * * *

Lauren woke up feeling fresh and relaxed, despite being in a little bit of pain. She smiled as she looked at Ben still sleeping and slipped out of the bed so she didn’t disturb him. She followed her usual morning routine getting dressed, having breakfast then going back upstairs to her office to grab her things for work. She ignored the Doll as she entered her office, refusing to even look at it and then went to leave.



“Are you serious about the Doll?” Ben asked with his usual curiosity. “You’re going to return it?”



“I am,” Lauren stated with certainty. “I was losing myself and I hadn’t even piloted it for an hour. I just can’t do it…”



“It’s okay,” Ben gave her a hug. “I’m sure work will understand.”



“Speaking of, I need to be going,” Lauren gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed to work.



Lauren had no issues getting to work as she checked through security, locked her phone in her personal locker. She took the elevator up to the third floor but before heading to her cubicle she knocked on her supervisor’s door.



“Good morning sir,” she greeted with a formal tone. He just motioned for her to continue speaking, not looking up from his terminal or returning the greeting. “I wanted to speak to you about the Doll assignment.”



“Can this wait, Lauren Smith, ID299935?” he asked. “I have a meeting in fifteen minutes and the Doll trial has nothing to do with me.”



“They told me to come to you with any concerns, sir.” Lauren stated. “But it can wait until after the meeting.”



“Good, dismissed, 299935.” He waved her off.



Lauren sighed as she went to her cubicle and logged into her terminal. While she waited for her supervisor to be ready, she began to work on the report on the Doll’s negative impact on her mental health, being as detailed as she could but not going too personal. She had only been at work for just over an hour when her work phone began to ring.



“Good morning, this is Lauren Smith, ID299935. How may I help you?” She greeted, with a forced tone.



“Hi Lauren, this is Raymond Jones, ID020205. I wanted to speak to you about an opportunity that you are uniquely qualified for.”



“Sir?” Lauren was taken aback. She wasn’t expecting someone so high up to be calling about a new assignment. “Sir, I’m already on an assignment, I’m tasked with testing the new line of Dolls.”



“I am fully aware of your current project, this is why you’re uniquely qualified for what I need. We need someone in Tokyo by Friday. The fact you have a Doll makes you perfect for this position as it’ll allow us to test intercontinental connections.” Raymond explained.



Lauren didn’t know what to say. She wanted to pull out of the Doll program and now she was being asked to go overseas and test it while she was there. “I don’t know what to say, Sir. This is all short notice.”



“I’m aware of that, which is the other reason we need you. Out of everyone in the Doll program, you’re the only one with the skills we need in Tokyo and in the position to leave on such short notice.” Raymond wasn’t leaving her any choice, he needed her to go.



“How long will this be for? I’ll need to speak with my husband,” Lauren wasn’t happy that she might be required to pilot the Doll again. Though when a Zero employee calls to ask you to do a job, you do it. “I assume there’s a bonus?” Lauren decided to risk it. If she was going to do something she didn’t want to do, she better be paid well for it.



“We need you there for at least a month, as you will be undertaking two crucial tasks, you’ll receive a double bonus. I need to know by six p.m. tonight.” Raymond disconnected the call.



Lauren couldn’t believe what she was hearing, a double bonus for a month-long trip, helping out a Zero employee for a last minute task. The favours she could gain alone was well worth the trip. She wasn’t looking forward to using the Doll, but she had already proven she can recenter herself. So all she needed to do was check with Ben.