Richard stood in the stall of a public bathroom with his pants down. He couldn’t believe what he was looking at. His dick and balls were gone… well not exactly. They were still there, but now instead of protruding from his body, they were in the form of a well drawn tattoo, pubic hair included. He reached down to touch the tattoo, expecting to feel something other than the smooth skin they were drawn on.



“How did this happen?” he asked himself aloud, after standing there for a long time. Though he already suspected the culprit.



Moments earlier Richard was outside a tattoo parlour. There he encountered a girl with green hair, flipped to one side and shaved on the other. She had lots of body piercings, including several on her ear, a couple on her nose and lips and one on her eyebrow. She was wearing a tank top, showing off both her tattoo sleeves. She had approached him, asking if he’d ever considered getting a tattoo. Richard had no intention of getting one and told her as such.



“Never say never,” she retorted with a wicked smile as she waved him on. Richard just grumbled and continued walking, he only took a few steps before he felt the emptiness in his crotch. He gave himself a subtle pat, confirming his genitals were gone, then he made the mad dash to the bathroom, not even bothering to look back.



Now that he knew the cause, Richard stormed back to the parlour. Only to see the girl was no longer outside. It occurred to him that she might’ve not even still be in the area, or even work at the parlour but someone inside should know who she was. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves as he stepped inside.



There was a line up to the counter, where another woman was handling a customer. He couldn’t see his suspect, but he couldn’t see beyond the plastic flaps that covered the entrance to the rest of the parlour. With all these people inside he was embarrassed to make a scene, given his current situation. Still the line wasn’t moving at all, with the customer at the front of the line taking forever.



Richard attempted to push past the woman in front of him when he heard a monkey-like scream in his ear. “You’re going to have to wait your turn, sir” the lady at the counter finally acknowledged him but he was now focused on the other woman.



From behind she had looked normal but now that he was next to her, he could see her face, she had a monkey’s face, hair and all, besides that she was normal. She watched as he looked at her and screamed again, showing off her sharp teeth, before chomping the air as a warning. Richard quickly backed off and stood even further back, bumping into someone who came in behind him.



“You… sstepped on my foot…” she hissed as he turned around. Now he was looking at a mostly normal woman, who had just taken off her sunglasses to reveal her reptilian eyes as her snake-like tongue flickered at him. Like the woman in front of him, she was otherwise normal.



“Sir, if you keep disrupting the other customers, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the lady at the counter warned him again, before going back to the same customer.



Richard didn’t want to make the same mistake as the monkey lady, so quickly returned to his spot in line and looked forward. He had no idea what this place was, but considering his dick was a tattoo, he suspected he was in the right location. This was confirmed when the customer at the counter was finally pulled aside and sat down on a chair. Before she bent her head down into her hands, he saw that her face had been turned into a tattoo.



“Firsst time?” the woman behind Richard asked, her tongue almost touching the back of his neck. He turned around to face her and gave her a quick nod before turning away. “I figured asss much. You’re too normal, I’m guessssing they they took your penisss?” That caused the monkey faced woman in front of him to laugh. Richard was silent. “It’sss okay, nothing to be ashamed about, they do all sssorts of thingsss like that here. I wasss like that girl over there too. When they finally ressstored my fassce, I wasss given reptilian eyesss and a ssserpentsss tongue.”



Richard gulped as he finally took another step forward. “Wait so they’re not going to give it back?”



“Eventually,” is all she offered.



Richard just turned ahead, too scared to say any more until it was his turn. He watched as at least two other people left. One person no longer had ears and the other woman’s top hung low, revealing her breasts were now tattoos. He overheard them needing to book an appointment and that it was at least a week wait. The monkey faced woman approached the counter and was waved through.



“Next,” the lady at the counter called up Richard. “Another new customer,” she smiled at him. “So what kind of tattoo are we doing for you?” she asked with a devilish smile.



“I… uh…” Richard hesitated not knowing if he could verbally admit it.



“People are waiting sir,” she informed him, gesturing behind where even more oddities had entered.



“My, dick and balls were turned into a tattoo…” Richard whispered under his breath.



“Genitals, got it,” she replied a little too loudly that even the faceless woman glanced in his direction. “So would you like to book a touch up appointment?” she asked.



“I want to do whatever it is that would get them to no longer be a tattoo,” Richard said a little too frustrated.



“Certainly,” she gave him a smile. “We actually have someone available for that right now,” she got him to fill in his details, before waving him onto the next room.



“Hello again,” the girl with green hair greeted him. “Right this way,” she gave him a smile. Richard wanted to yell and scream at her, for doing this to him but rather than make a scene he silently followed her to a private room. “I’m going to need you to take off your pants and underwear, get up on the table and spread your legs.” She waited by a workbench, preparing a strange goo as Richard did as she asked.



“I’m not surprised you went with this option, you did tell me you weren’t fond of tattoos,” she smiled as she grabbed a brush and dipped it into the goo, she then applied it directly over Richard’s former genitals.



It was only now that Richard realised his wording and what he had asked, but it was too late. As the goo was peeled off, his tattoo was gone, leaving him without his dick and balls at all. “This isn’t what I meant, I wanted them restored!” He cried.



“Oh,” the green haired girl said as she was already cleaning up. “Don’t worry, we do that too, though it’s $500,000 to get the original, free if you want something else done. We even give you credit if you get other parts of your body done, it gives us experience to use you as a canvas.”



“Half a million dollars? Where am I going to get that kind of money?!” Richard screamed as he looked at his blank crotch.



“We tattoo, jewellery on people, necklaces and diamond earrings and such, turn them real. That’ll pay for your debt. Only it’s slow to sell so it could still take a while. Each tattoo you let us give you is worth $10,000 but it’s $9,000 to undo it.” She told Richard their business model.



“You’re an evil bitch!” Richard snapped, “extorting people like this!”



“It’s just business, we have magical tattoo powers so of course we’re going to create some clientele. Getting your dick back is important to you, which means I can charge whatever the hell I want and you’ll pay for it. Now go back out there, make an appointment or never see it again, it’s that simple. Or you can keep yelling at me and see where that leads you,” she warned him, as she turned his nipples into tattoos.



Richard pulled up his pants and headed back to the receptionist as fast as he could. He waited in line again, this time behind a woman holding a mannequin. He looked around to see someone with a ninety year old face, someone with a tail and someone with hair all over their body. He stood there quietly, not wanting to make a scene before he finally made it back to the counter.



“Hey, it’s dickless,” the lady greeted him. “Your next appointment is in a month and it’s a full body tattoo. You’re going to regret calling my boss a bitch,” she smiled as she handed him the appointment card. “Oh, one more thing. We use traditional tattooing methods, so it’s going to hurt a lot.” She gave him a polite wave, as he walked back out of the parlour, wondering if getting his dick back was even worth it.