“Help me! Help me!” Britney begged as she hobbled toward the cabin. She was missing the lower part of her leg and supported her guts in her arms. “There’s a killer on the loose, you have to help me!” She screamed.

Fortunately for her someone answered the door, a young man, half naked. He looked at Britney and scoffed. “Alright who put you up to this?” He demanded angry at the disturbance.

“No, one, you’ve got to help me!” Britney insisted. “He’s after me! You’ve got to help!”

“Please… I know one of my friends put you up to this.” He grabbed her guts and squeezed them. “I mean this is obviously fake, there’s no blood.”

Britney wanted to barf, the sensation of someone playing with her guts was too much. She pushed past the man and ignored the half naked girl lying near the fireplace and ran down to the bathroom. She threw up in the toilet when suddenly a machete sliced through her neck, and her head fell into the toilet bowl. The man who had been chasing her, looked down at her horrified face and then pulled the lever, flushing her head down the toilet, she was never heard from again.

“Eww, that’s gross” Jess commented. “Being flushed down the toilet with her own spew.”

“And impossible, a head wouldn’t fit through the piping. Also nice one Fred, using the name of a real missing girl. Let me guess the man and women were the other two people that went missing around the same time? So what did this killer do to them?”

“I told you Trent, he’s the Serial Non-Killer. Also what every serial killer and non-killer alike does in the woods, he chopped them into pieces.”

“I don’t usually agree with Trent but I have to agree that story was lame. A killer that doesn’t kill you? Also what about the foot, surely the guy would’ve noticed that missing as well as the ‘fake’ guts.” Nichole added.

“Hey I’m just telling what I heard about the Serial Non-Killer. Don’t believe me if you want to but anyone of us could…. be….. next!” Fred defended.

“Then why did you insist on coming up here? Madison asked.

“To see if he takes requests, I wouldn’t mind if cut your boobs off then I could play with them whenever I’d like,” Fred teased Madison.

“That’s a great idea, then we could ask him to cut your dick off as well,” Nichole retorted.

“Oooh, a living dildo that’d be cool!” Jess added.

“Nah, it’ll be too impossible, Fred is all dick,” Trent finished.

“Pfft, whatever,” Fred sulked and walked off into the woods.

“In all seriousness though, why did we come up here?” Madison asked a little worried. “I mean both those stories are obviously bullshit but 3 people did go missing.”

“People go missing all the time,” Trent assured her. “It doesn’t mean it’s the work of a serial killer, if it were there’d be warnings. Besides there are plenty of other people camping up here so if we run into trouble help isn’t far away.”

“Serial Non Killer,” Nichole reminded.

The dark figure had been stalking the woods all night checking out each campsite and making traps across the woods for his annual night of hunting. They were intrigued by the latest camp he came across, at least one of them knew their legend. The person in question was now leaving the camp.

“Help me! Help me!” A young lady approached Fred, she was hobbling on one foot, her chest was cracked open and she was holding her own beating heart in her hand. “I was attacked by the Serial Non Killer!” She began to weep.

Fred approached her slowly, wondering if this was some sort of joke. “It’s okay, he assured her. I’m here now. I’ll look after you. What’s your name, maybe we can go find you friends?”

She looked up at him and sniffled. “Britney… my name is Britney.”

“Fred’s been gone for a while,” Trent commented. “I wonder if he’s alright.”

“He’s probably gone off to plan some sort of prank to convince us that legend is real,” Nichole offered.

“I’m just going to the toilet,” Jess said as she grabbed a roll of toilet paper. This was always the most annoying thing she found with camping, it made her feel so exposed. Anyone could be out watching and with Fred gone, it was highly likely. She finished doing her business and wiped herself and was about to pull up her panties again when she saw something on a rock nearby. Hovering a light over it she blushed. It was a penis and it looked incredibly life like. “Okay Fred, very funny,” she said as she picked it up. “I can’t believe you managed to make this is such little time. Let me guess you want me to use it while you watch in the bushes?” She didn’t here a response. “Fine, you win but you aren’t telling anyone about this.” Jess moved to a nearby rock and began to play with the penis, she put it in her mouth, slowly sucking on it before bringing it near her vagina. While she started to move it around there she reached up and began to play with her breasts as she masturbated with the penis. She stopped when she heard foot steps. “Come to finish the job yourself Fred?” She asked but someone else was standing in front of her. “Who are you?”

“Okay now I’m getting worried,” Madison said. “Fred’s not back and Jess hasn’t returned from the toilet.”

“Maybe one of us should go look for her,” Trent offered.

“I don’t think anyone should go alone,” Nichole suggested. “I’ll go with you.”

Both seemed to agree with that idea, leaving Madison alone at the camp site. “You won’t go alone but you’ll leave me alone,” Madison muttered under her breath and quickly retreated into the tent. She wasn’t sure how long she had been waiting when she heard someone outside. “Hello? Is anyone here?” She heard the voice of a scared girl. “There’s a crazy man in the woods, chopping people up… Hello?” Madison thought to stay in the tent but this girl didn’t seem to be much of a threat and in need of help so she opened up the tent. The moment she did however a blade went through her neck and her head rolled off her body. The person who had approached the camp then walked over to Madison’s body they were there for a few moment before Madison watched as he breasts were dropped on the ground next to her head.

Trent and Nichole found Jess’s body in no time. However when they called out to her she didn’t respond and they knew something was wrong when they approached her they had discovered she was half naked and missing the top of her head. Trent examined it and saw that her brain was gone. “Well Jess has always been an airhead,” Trent stated as he felt the inside of her head.

“This is no time to joke, Jess is dead!” Nichole snapped.

“Her body is still breathing though,” Trent countered. “Maybe the legend of the Serial Non Killer is right, or more likely this is a joke she and Fred pulled together.”

“There’s something in her vagina,” Nichole pointed out as she reached down to grab whatever it was. She had to reach in deeper than she felt comfortable with to pull out the penis. “Eww, gross!” Nichole dropped the penis on the ground. “Can this night get any weirder?”

“Fuck!” Trent cursed. “We left Madison at the camp site by herself.” The two of them left Fred’s penis and Jess’s body where they were and ran back to Madison. Trent took the lead as the two of them ran through the trees but he found himself losing his balance as he stepped in a bear trap that took his leg right off. He kept his momentum for a brief moment and ended up being cut in half by a wire tied up between two trees.

Nichole stopped just in time to avoid the same trap as Trent and went to approach him, when she noticed a figure holding a sword in one hand. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to Trent as she turned and ran in the opposite direction. She wasn’t sure how far she had ran until she found a small abandoned cabin, the door was wide open so she ran towards it and closed the door behind her. She began to explore the cabin when all of a sudden a sword poked through the floor and an angle, severing one off her feet, the sword came up again, severing the other foot and Nichole fell onto her ass but the sword kept poking through the floor, so she started to retreat using her hands. Slice by slice, Nichole watched as her body was slowly disassemble starting with her legs, by the time she had been backed into a corner all that remained was her upper torso and so she ran on her hands, past her chopped up body parts. Though that didn’t stop the attack as her hands were the next to go and so she was forced to crawl across the floor with her elbows. Her arms were  removed with two more slices and finally her neck.

Britney’s lowered the sword, looking at the monitor, confirming she had gotten the last camper for this group. She decided to leave all her victims where they were for now, they’d make for great scares for whoever else she hunted tonight. Though come the morning, they would be added to her collection. She changed the monitors and discovered another camp site set up not far from here. She then grabbed her sword, cut open her head and cut off her foot and began hobbling through the woods.

“Help Me! Help Me!, There’s a killer on the loose!”